getting so agoraphobic

[lindy lou 2]

Hi all, I have not posted for a while, to scared to read about things.
I am getting so much more agoraphobic, it is really scaring me !
I can manage to go to some places if I am accompanied, but now I think my doctor is going to want me in for blood tests, it is only a 10 min walk, but I have no one to go with me now. My friend died last december & her husband & I used to support each other, but he has got a new woman on already & is getting on with his life, he has made it pretty clear he is fed up with my problems & I hardly see him, I feel so abandoned.
I have not been anywhere at all on my own for 2 or 3 weeks, even the local shop, I am in panic mode all day every day. I don't know how to get out & I am soo scared.
Can anybody suggest ways of getting over this ? I manage to go places if someone takes me, even though I am anxious all of the time, I went to see a mind coach on monday, a friend took me, he is going to work with me using EMDR, starting 6th august.
I am so dependant on other people, but my husband works & blood tests need to be done in the mornings, I am so desperate I just want to cry:weep:

[ricardo]

Lindy lou

I can relate very well to your predicatment. I have been like this for thirty years,you 2 or 3 weeks. I wonder if you actually have GAD and not agoraphobia.

Is it possible to ask the surgery for a nurse to come round as it is only 10 minutes away or is there a late night surgery when your husband could accompany you.

What is the blood test for, if I may ask. I am sure if you explain the situation and you are lucky enough to get an understanding receptionist, she maybe able to arrange something. Surely it's worth a try.

[lindy lou 2]

H i Ricardo, I am not sure she will want blood tests, it is ust that I have been taking vit d, i ordered it and a friend took me to the surgery to collect my scrips & it wasn't there, I rang the surgery & they said it has not been put on repeat,it could be an oversight but I have to wait until she calls me after surgery, which could be this afternoon, I also have a dental appt next month, and it is all playing on my mind as to how agoraphobic I am becoming, I want to be able to just do these things on my own !
I am afraid the more I stop doing it the worse I will get & want to get over it.
I am on my own all day today & feel paralysed with fear, I told my husband on the phone this morning & he said " just do it " he has no idea how hard it is getting for me.

[ricardo]

H i Ricardo, I am not sure she will want blood tests, it is ust that I have been taking vit d, i ordered it and a friend took me to the surgery to collect my scrips & it wasn't there, I rang the surgery & they said it has not been put on repeat,it could be an oversight but I have to wait until she calls me after surgery, which could be this afternoon, I also have a dental appt next month, and it is all playing on my mind as to how agoraphobic I am becoming, I want to be able to just do these things on my own !
I am afraid the more I stop doing it the worse I will get & want to get over it.
I am on my own all day today & feel paralysed with fear, I told my husband on the phone this morning & he said " just do it " he has no idea how hard it is getting for me.

You are answering your own question so that is a good sign. How often do we hear that our own partners don't understand what we go through so it's no wonder that a general practioner cannot wave a magic wand in 10 minutes.

I won't say pull yourself together as so many outsiders would say but you need help to at least start a road to recovery.

[Annie0904]

I was like this a few years ago with GAD and cried every time I had to go somewhere. The hardest thing was going to the doctors. The receptionists knew about my anxiety so would let me in the back door and put me in a room on my own so I didn't have to face the waiting room. I would also call before I set off to see if they were running late so that I didn't get there too early. To get used to going in shops I would set off and even if I didn't make it into the shop I had made progress and made an effort. I got a little closer each time until I finally got in to buy something :). Don't give in and don't beat yourself up with negatives of what you can't do. If you got so far...you have achieved and it does get easier.

[lindy lou 2]

thanks Annie, I have to try & start going out again, on my own, I was going to try walking to the shop today, but now I am stuck in waiting for the call back from the doctor, & in such a state of agitation.
Did you manage eventually to get over it ?

[Annie0904]

Yes I did get over it but it took a lot of effort and tears. My motto...just feel the fear and do it :) little steps though!

[MyNameIsTerry]

I was like this a few years ago with GAD and cried every time I had to go somewhere. The hardest thing was going to the doctors. The receptionists knew about my anxiety so would let me in the back door and put me in a room on my own so I didn't have to face the waiting room. I would also call before I set off to see if they were running late so that I didn't get there too early. To get used to going in shops I would set off and even if I didn't make it into the shop I had made progress and made an effort. I got a little closer each time until I finally got in to buy something :). Don't give in and don't beat yourself up with negatives of what you can't do. If you got so far...you have achieved and it does get easier.

They sound brilliant, Annie.

[lindy lou 2]

I bought a book called "feel the fear & do it anyway " I have not read it all, because I can't concentrate, but it doesn't seem to address agoraphobia, more things like public speaking. I am even in a constant state of agitation when I don't have to go out, I need to clean & do all sorts of things today, but cannot seem to motivate myself, waiting for the dreaded phone call !!

[MyNameIsTerry]

thanks Annie, I have to try & start going out again, on my own, I was going to try walking to the shop today, but now I am stuck in waiting for the call back from the doctor, & in such a state of agitation.
Did you manage eventually to get over it ?

How about standing outside for a bit? Leave the door open so you cna listen out for the phone and just be outside for a while?

You don't have to go straight to a harder target if the shops are a problem, you can edge towards it with smaller ones and it does help...but it is damn hard.

I don't class myself as ever having true agoraphobia but on both occasions of starting antidepressants my anxiety has become so much worse and stopped me going out. I would be stuck in the house for over a month on both occasions. At first I went out walking the dog with my dad and it was hard as hell. I was just more anxious with it and didn't really want to see other people.

I did that for a few weeks and then moved onto doing the same route on my own, then a little further, then a little further, and as soon as I could reach the local supermarkets I made a point of going into them and staying there. On my first breakdown I didn't do this and I swear it made it harder later when I had to start going into places instead of walking the streets or fields/parks.

Maybe this is the result of your increasing anxiety, Lindy? If so, I suspect it will be easier to overcome than agoraphobia on it's own as you will soon start to notice that the anxiety is there in a variety of situations so you know it's not specific to being out. Thats just how I saw mine anyway, we are all different.

It was very hard like Annie said and mine was obviously not on a par with that. Just keep taking those steps, try to remain out in order to let your anxiety fade as close to 50% as you can and don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you get stuck with a step in your plan, take a step back and insert a "stepping stone" to get to closer to it. All movement is progress. :hugs:

[lindy lou 2]

Hi Terry, thanks for your input, I haven't classed myself as agoraphobic before, I have mostly managed to do things if with other people, but now my friend with the dog is so busy with his own life, he doesn't have time for me, I think those little, almost daily walks helped. I have a friend who had true agoraphobia for about 18 months, she could not even go out of the house at all, not even to the dustbin, she got over it when she lost 2 friends in 9/11, she wanted to see her partners mum so much, she made herself go, & carried on doing it until she got over it, yet she never classed herself as depressed or anxious, but, she surely must have been. When the doctor has rung me, I am going to make myself walk to the local shop, will have to keep trying, as I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this! I do think it is a result of increasing anxiety, but I don't know why the anxiety has worsened, unless it is because the dog walks stopped. I am hoping when I begin EMDR with the private therapist, that my anxiety will lessen.

---------- Post added at 13:26 ---------- Previous post was at 11:41 ----------

Quick update, the doctor rang, she gave me high strength vit d to take for the first month, the last lot I should have been taking daily, I must not have read the label , so she is leaving a scrip for me , my husband can collect it, but, she did say I will need bloods done in about 2 months. So I have to try & start going out more to conquer this fear, going to the local shop in a minute. By the way Terry, I have just started the omega 3, extra high dose capsules containing more EHA & DHA, if that is right .

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, the little walks did the same for me. The walking eventually became negative in that it became obsessive. When I stopped walking for 3 months to break that habit I found it hard again for the first week or so but nowhere near as hard as before.

If you can't manage the shops, don't let it bother you and tell yourself that you are going out still and each little step gets you closer to overcoming those problems.

High strength Omega 3 yes, but you tend to find fish oil supplements are high in vitamin D so you may want to check with your GP with them giving you supplements too if this is the case (or a pharmacist). I just went around 800mg+ of each of EPA & DHA and it seemed to help with mood.

Maybe your changes to meds have had a knock on to your anxiety levels? Withdrawing can be hard if you are not at a recovery stage where you are coming off them naturally as many do (I recall you were coming off them because you wanted to as opposed to being recovered) so it could mess you about a bit just like when you start on a lot of these meds. I guess its like when people switch which must knock them about for a while with the levels going up & down.

[ricardo]

I was like this a few years ago with GAD and cried every time I had to go somewhere. The hardest thing was going to the doctors. The receptionists knew about my anxiety so would let me in the back door and put me in a room on my own so I didn't have to face the waiting room. I would also call before I set off to see if they were running late so that I didn't get there too early. To get used to going in shops I would set off and even if I didn't make it into the shop I had made progress and made an effort. I got a little closer each time until I finally got in to buy something :). Don't give in and don't beat yourself up with negatives of what you can't do. If you got so far...you have achieved and it does get easier.


I can fully understand that. Waiting, it's always waiting that increases my anxiety, not actually seeing the doctor.

[pulisa]

Waiting for anything is so challenging. I used to have a big problem with waiting in the car at traffic lights-absolutely unbearable. I just needed to keep going. I still have a problem waiting in the car for anything but it's very small fry compared to others' problems in this area.

[ricardo]

Waiting for anything is so challenging. I used to have a big problem with waiting in the car at traffic lights-absolutely unbearable. I just needed to keep going. I still have a problem waiting in the car for anything but it's very small fry compared to others' problems in this area.

Strangely enough that was the first time I panicked through waiting at traffic lights and I was the passenger lol. I told my wife to go through the red lights,which wasn't a bright idea.

I bet many of us have this problem with waiting, as it covers so many things.

Someone should open a thread about it, why panic is triggered off by waiting.

[pulisa]

I think it's the feeling of enforced stillness when you want to run. Sit Tight not Flight, sort of thing- adrenaline running amok and nowhere to go?

Am sure there will be a more psychologically fitting explanation though

[lindy lou 2]

Thanks everybody, I did check with the doctor Terry, she just said that is fine, taking the omega3, I have been taking the 1000 mg twice a day, perhaps I should just have one if I am taking the vit d as well, it was just that I read you need the max dose of EHA & DHA didn't realise you get vit d from it too. I did walk to the local shop, quite calmly, practising mindfullness, the troule is, when I have had high anxiety then it calms down, I seem to go into a depression, which happened last night.
I am going out for a coffee with a friend at 10 this morning,so must get ready. Hope everybody has a good day today.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thats good then, Lindy. As long as your GP is aware he/she would have taken into account the crossovers between them. Vitamin D levels in fish oil supplements differ, some can be much higher as they have decided to increase it whereas many have a similiar lower level. I lot deliver 100% RDA and we will be eating vitamin D and absorbing it through sunlight anyway beyond that so we are always taking in more than the average needs.

If your anxiety is high, it can result in low mood afterwards as your body is rebalancing itself. This seems pretty common to those with high anxiety oi after panic attacks from reading other threads about it. Maybe why your GP is treating you with vitamin D will help reduce the impact of this? And the Omega 3? So, just monitor it perhaps for now?

Hope you had a nice trip out. Well done on getting to the shops. Did it subside whilst you were out?

[lindy lou 2]

Sorry for the late reply Terry, it didn't really subside completely, it is always there, until the odd times, when I go calm, then, as I said depression sets in, I think it is all caused by depression & morbid thoughts.
I managed to go to the pub with my husband yesterday, but had a little too much to drink, trying to calm down, but now I feel worse today, I know drinking isn't the answer, but I sometimes have to, to calm down a bit, but I am not used to going to the pub much nowadays, I always used to at the weekends & my husband gets fed up if I never make the effort to go with him & see our friends. I honestly think this panic is getting worse even after 3 years. I am pinning my hopes on the private therapy starting next thursday:weep:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thats ok, Lindy, everyone is here when you need them. There is no pressure.

It doesn't need to subside completely, if you can say it subsides by 50% it is classed as a successful exposure in ERP. If it stays higher, it can have the opposite effect of making things worse hence why you have to use things like hierarchies and keep planning to account for things that don't quite work.

I know what you mean about alcohol. I gave up years ago but more because I don't want to risk my recovery (and especially on this SNRI that still gives me side effects years later) but also because I lost alll my mates in the process so I have no reason to drink unless I do it on my own.

It can make people feel worse. Its a trigger for depression in many and loads of people say it triggers their anxiety. You also have to remember that it may not be the alcohol alone but your reaction to the symptoms of the hangover. This you can work on as you will need to do it anyway to prevent your reaction to triggers. Therapy will help you with that.

If you could come up with some tools & techniques that kept you in that pub for so many hours without feeling you need to drink to keep calm, would it be worth it? Are you bothered about sitting there with a soft drink?