London and terrorist fears again

[Bluebll]

Hi Everyone,

I'm really, really, struggling at the moment with this theme. I work in central London and I'm terrified every day that I'm going to get caught up in something and die. Every evening I can't believe I'm still alive and then it all starts again the next morning.

Until a week ago this fear was confined to the underground, but now I have it constantly. I purposely don't venture far out of the office at lunch and I have a work dinner thing next week off Oxford Street that I'm so anxious about - I hate changing my normal schedule for fear that that will be the time something happens. I have to stay in my job for at least two months or so until we exchange properties and move into our new place. Otherwise I would up and leave tomorrow! I know avoidance is not a great strategy but I feel like London is a scary place right now (I hope this won't trigger anyone else) and I just can't take the stress. I scan the tube carriage every time I get on and position myself next to the doors in case someone suspicious comes on. I'm turning into a crazy person!!! :wacko: I know my husband's patience is wearing thin too.

I should point out that I'm not completely mad - I only have this in London. I know it could happen anywhere and I'm not going to stop leaving my home (and I don't get anxious about being out and about in my own town), but I just feel London is the obvious target.

I don't really want to leave my job but I can't go on like this. Can anyone help me rationalise it?

[Bluebll]

Thank you for your reply... My logical brain does know it could happen anywhere but then the anxiety takes over. Ugggh, I'm working myself up into such a mess over this. It's completely taken over and I can't seem to think about anything else.

Thank you again.

[ricardo]

I feel exactly the same as you, I refuse to go on Tube trains now.

Don't let these people get the better of you though. If you think about it, it could happen anywhere really.

With all due respect you are contradicting yourself :huh:

No where is safe when one is fighting a hidden enemy .

[Crystalhiggs]

Hi Bluebell, I used to work in Central London and always hated the tube although more due to claustrophobia than anything else. Even now I'll avoid it if I can and take a cab or a bus. Are you able to take another mode of transport at all? Maybe a Boris bike ? :)
I know your fears aren't only about the tube, and that you are aware a lot of this isn't logical, but can you perhaps try to retrain your thoughts when they come in and replace the negative ones to more rational ones? I'm finding this helpful at the moment although it isn't easy!
Two months isn't long to wait really but I would spoil yourself a bit wherever you can - take that cab, and once in a while say no to doing something you don't want to do - that's not totally avoiding things just looking after yourself a bit.
I'm quite a spiritual person and tbh believe that when your time's up your time's up, but looking at things statistically the chances of you being caught up in something terrorist related are very tiny.
Don't know if that's helpful at all but hope there's some comfort in there somewhere! Xx

[Bluebll]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies, it's really appreciated :) I know it's no way to live to be afraid all the time....

I have thought about getting a cab or something Crystalhiggs but then I imagine changing my normal routine and the irony of getting caught up in a car crash or.... if I walked..... some crazy random attack on the street!

What worries me is that when I talk to people in the morning at work, small talk about their journey's in to the office/delays on the underground, so many people say 'oh no, I don't get the tube, I just walk'. I don't want to sound crazy and ask why, but it makes me think am I endangering myself my using it? Should I be avoiding it?! That's when things get bad, because I feel my worries are rational and that it's not anxiety that's the problem - it's being somewhere dangerous!

Sorry for ranting like a crazy person :wacko:

[pulisa]

I know for a fact that we are incredibly well looked after in London. We are never going to be 100% sure that there won't be a terrorist attack-that's impossible-and this is the hard bit for you to accept. The living with doubt.
It must be really hard for you to live your life whilst having such fears but I think you are going to have to learn to trust that we have excellent security services working all day and night to protect us against all types of threat.

[Bluebll]

Thank you Pulisa - that makes me feel a lot better. I feel so pathetic when everyone else just gets on with things. Do you think it's safe to get the tube then and I shouldn't start walking 45 minutes to work from the overground?!

[Crystalhiggs]

Not at all, we are all on here for a reason!

However as someone who doesn't have a fear of terrorism I can tell you those who don't take the tube probably just don't like being crammed in like sardines and stuck in tunnels at 8am and prefer fresh (ish) air and exercise. :)

If there was a real fear of terrorism around no one would be using it.

Maybe you can think about what would be the most comfortable way to travel to work? And if catastrophising is the only way to think about it, maybe consider that a car crash in Central london where cabs cant really travel more than 20/30mph at best would probably not result in any major injuries!

Personally the older I get the more comfortable I want to be, I'm facing enough struggles and sometimes it's ok just to spoil yourself a bit. :)

[Bluebll]

That's a good way of thinking about it - doing what's most comfortable :) I have a feeling a taxi would definitely be that - although my wallet might not like it!

I also bizarrely like the mantra that what will be will be and when you're time is up, it's up. It makes me feel like I have no control over the situation and that's more comforting than thinking that I can somehow prevent it and have to come up with that solution!

[ricardo]

It's an interesting thread but could get political and that has no place on an anxiety forum, but I really can't see what precautions can be taken against a cowardly hidden enemy.Who would have thought laying on a beach in Tunisia one would be shot at random and killed.

Pulisa is absolutely right and I am sure a lot goes on that never reaches the media.

[Bluebll]

Apologies if you have viewed it this way and if I have offended anyone.

It's certainly not interesting! And it wasn't supposed to be in the slightest bit political - this is about me being completely irrational and catastrophizing.... I have suffered from OCD/anxiety for 10 years and this is just my latest fear. I was looking for advice to be more rational and control my anxiety :) not talk about terrorism.

Thanks for all your help!

[ricardo]

Apologies if you have viewed it this way and if I have offended anyone.

It's certainly not interesting! And it wasn't supposed to be in the slightest bit political - this is about me being completely irrational and catastrophizing.... I have suffered from OCD/anxiety for 10 years and this is just my latest fear. I was looking for advice to be more rational and control my anxiety :) not talk about terrorism.

Thanks for all your help!

I don't think anyone has been offended but I think some of us thought that you were linking an attack of terrorism in London and your anxiety, and to be honest I don't think that was an unreasonable connection.

Moving away from London you feel would ease your anxiety.Is that because you feel claustrophobic or otherwise,or is it generally your OCD and anxiety situation. I am sorry but I don't quite understand.

[pulisa]

Thank you Pulisa - that makes me feel a lot better. I feel so pathetic when everyone else just gets on with things. Do you think it's safe to get the tube then and I shouldn't start walking 45 minutes to work from the overground?!

I think it's safe to get the tube but I personally don't like the crammed in like sardines bit so I only use it if I have to (I no longer work in London though so I'm not faced with this daily dilemma).

If you've got a 45 minute walk to work each day that may be more healthy but it could take a lot out of you if you're not into walking. I know that walking is meant to be great for anxiety but it is time consuming if you're doing a full day's work as well and then walking back to sort out your home life?

[Crystalhiggs]

Well I understood the post perfectly and didn't think anything was 'political', in fact I'm not sure why anyone would be offended by someone saying they had a fear of terrorism!!!

The only response this thread warrants is one of support!

[pulisa]

I think London can be very overwhelming if you're not used to the particular pace of life there. Loads of people and visual and sensory overload-enough to trigger anyone's anxiety.

I don't suppose you could make use of the Thames Clipper services and travel up the river to work? Or make use of the buses if the route was practical for regular journeys?

[Pepperpot]

It wasn't political at all.

You are perfectly entitled to talk about your fears and it is not unreasonable to link going on the tube with a terrorist attack. Thing is, all these "what ifs" are making you ill and you need to address them, cos they will stem from going on the Tube and getting attacked to other fears, which you really don't want. x

[Bluebll]

Thank you so, so, much everyone. i can't explain how appreciative I am of everyone's kindness :)

Indeed it is sensory overload in London! I work on Piccadilly and getting a sandwich in M&S completely stresses me out - let alone the commute. Coupled with this new fear.... it's all too much. I think it's time to retreat back to the suburbs and hopefully that will help my anxiety. I only have this in town, so I'm hopeful that once I find a new local job this fear will go.

Thank you so much again.

PS. The boat to work is a great idea in the meantime - going to look into that!

[MyNameIsTerry]

There have been several arrests in my city, two quite close to where I live. That could be a scary thing to see in your local media. One was a doctor! But isn't it only the same as how someone with anxiety could be afraid of crime? Terrorism is rare, crime is common.

So, the same trust you have to put in the police, you put in the security services.

I'm from the Midlands so these types of issues can spark up racial tension but I'm really glad to say that none of these events have.

[pulisa]

Thank you so, so, much everyone. i can't explain how appreciative I am of everyone's kindness :)

Indeed it is sensory overload in London! I work on Piccadilly and getting a sandwich in M&S completely stresses me out - let alone the commute. Coupled with this new fear.... it's all too much. I think it's time to retreat back to the suburbs and hopefully that will help my anxiety. I only have this in town, so I'm hopeful that once I find a new local job this fear will go.

Thank you so much again.

PS. The boat to work is a great idea in the meantime - going to look into that!

You could get the boat to Embankment Pier and then walk the rest of the way via Leicester Square? I'm not sure whether there is a nearer boat "stop" but it could be another option? I'm braving Piccadilly Circus tomorrow(but only passing through) and it's hideous with all the tourists, traffic, noise etc-it's the sensory overload that's so hard to manage with anxiety.

[ricardo]

I apologise.

I put two and two together and it made five.

Assuming what someone writes can go awfully wrong, so I totally misread your post and was therefore on the wrong track. To be honest it was an easy wrong assumption to make.