Am I A Bad Person?

[Richizzle]

Hello everyone, If any of you have read any of my other posts, you will know that I am here on behalf of my boyfriend who suffers greatly from anxiety/depression. So bad, in fact, he has left work and discontinued playing his favorite sport (hockey). He is only 20 and will not leave home because he feels sick every moment of the day and expresses to me that he would like to kill himself . My problem is .. that I have spent the past 6/7 months helping him to cope, the past two months being the worst they ever have been. We do not live together so i usually spend most of my day worrying about him. He calls me often and the topic of conversation is always about how horrible his day went and how terrible he feels, to which I reply that we can get through this, we will get some answers etc.... but his response is always very rash and hurtful. I dont say anything because I can't imagine what he is going through but I have put my life on hold for him... I frequent the emergency room with him and all his doctor's appointments, i spend my days online trying to find answers for him. Anytime spent together is spent in silence, as neither of us does anything anymore. And usually anything off topic of his illness just bothers him and he tells me he doesnt care to hear it. Well to put a long story short: I miss my friends and feel as if I have been neglecting my 4 year old daughter since all of my time has been consumed by supporting my boyfriend. My concentration at work has been affected by this as well. Am I being selfish? I just really miss the person he was when we first were together, I almost feel as if I am falling into my own depression. Would it be wrong for me to take a night to myself to go to the movies with friends or something of the sort?[Sigh...] I could really use some help here. Thanks....

[groovygranny]

Hi there!

What a fortunate bloke your boyfriend is to have you! :)

You are certainly not being selfish, it is quite obvious how committed you are to helping him. But your daughter needs you as well, and you need to look after yourself and have some 'you' time - or you won't be any good to anybody cos you'll be so mentally, and maybe physically, exhausted.

Please take some time for yourself - I've had to learn this lesson quite recently and overcome the guilty thoughts that I'm selfish in doing so. But it is vital, for your own health if nothing else, that you don't burn yourself out.

So meet your friends (friends are so important ) go to the movies.........

..........and ENJOY !!


lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[mirry]

You must look after yourself and your daughter first, you are your number 1 priority, then if you have any energy left for your boyfriend you can help him , be careful because sometimes you can actually be reinforcing his problems by helping him stay at home.

He must be able to do things outside of the home but with support, that way he will hopefully make progress. If he threatens to kill himself then thats not fair on you, you must report his threats to his GP.

Also he can get support here if he needs it.

take care

mirryx

[yorkylover]

Hi there,you really need to take some time for your self and daughter.You are no way selfish pet,you have been very supportive.You can support your boyfriend 100%, but he also has to help himself.He needs to see a gp asap if he is talking about killing himself.You will become ill your self and you have your daughter to care for.Your boyfriend does need help.

Ellen XX