My breaking point...

[its1111]

Hi everyone,

I am fairly new to this site and some of you may have seen or replied to my previous posts in the past (Thank you!), but I just need some guidance...or reassurance today. I am being referred for CBT, so that suggestion is already taken:) Sorry for the lengthy post....I guess I need to vent, and appreciate your advice.

I feel like I have hit my "breaking point", so to speak. Lately I have had one medical problem after another, and more and more anxiety build up in return. I was put on prozac, only to make my anxiety WORSE (especially during the taper!) and now take a benzo, which isn't helping too much. I don't have quite as many panic attacks, but I'm just in a CONSTANT state of worry.

Right now, I am experiencing:
-Massive shortness of breath- like an elephant sitting on my chest, can't take in enough air, etc. Made a trip to the ER last week- all tests came back clear, of course.
-Terrible sharp, shooting pain under left breast in ribcage (what is this??)
-Swelling and vein inflammation behind right knee and up thigh (been scanned, no DVT or cyst...can't figure it out)
-Some palpations (Have had these my whole life due to a sternum deformity and pectus excavatum surgery)
-Fatigue and weight loss

Yes, all of these can be attributed to anxiety, except perhaps my knee pain (Which is really getting to me). Anyway, all of these "issues" just make my anxiety worse and question if there is something really wrong. I am hoping CBT will help with this, but until then I'm not sure what to do. My poor family is getting frustrated (understandably, but also makes me feel bad).

I am getting ready to go out of town for the weekend tomorrow morning, and it's to the point that I am almost scared to go incase something happens. Gosh, this is the last place I thought I'd be in my life. I am generally very happy, wanting to go everywhere and do anything. It's almost put me in a depressive state. I just want to feel "normal" again....knowing that there is nothing physically wrong.

If anyone else has experienced this, I'd appreciate your stories, advice, what has worked for you, etc. I am trying everything I can to get better...but anxiety seems to be winning.

[Fishmanpa]

I've read similar posts here in the thousands. Just look at the bottom of the page and you'll see threads with similar themes and content. Sadly, it's a common theme and while there is a certain amount of solace in knowing you're not alone in your struggles, reassurance only quells the anxiety for a short time if at all.

In CBT, you'll learn techniques to help train your mind to think and approach situations differently. Since meds didn't agree with you, that's the path that you must take unless you're open to trying a different med. Meds are fickle and how one responds is an individual thing.

I'm sure people will make suggestions (distraction, exercise, deep breathing, mindfullness and relaxation techniques to name a few), but ultimately, it comes from within you.

The fact that you're seeking help puts you ahead of the game and gives you some light at the end of the tunnel. Keep on going toward the light!

Positive thoughts

[its1111]

Thank you, Fishmanpa. I have read some of your posts on here and they are very good.
I believe the hardest thing I am dealing with right now is not know what symptoms are real and which are created by anxiety. As for this pain in my leg, I know it is very real because of the swelling- and not having an answer causes more anxiety, and therefore causes other symptoms. It's a vicious cycle and one that is really affecting my quality of life.

Like I said, I'm heading towards a depressive state, and that is just so not me. I am hoping and praying CBT will help...and also hoping to get some physical answers soon. I'm sure my lethargic state is not helping in the least. I just wish I could go for a few days and not worry about it, but I know I can't. I'd love to be able to enjoy my weekend without being on the verge of panic and anxiety.

Thanks again...I hope to be heading down the right path soon. Until then, I'm just enjoying the few moments of "peace", when I can get them.