DBT

[Jimbo]

Hi,

I've been refered by my psychiatrist for DBT (Dialectic Behavioural Therapy). I'm told this is similar to CBT but is more orientated to people who have self harmed (like me).

I'd never heard of it before it was mentioned to me. I'm always worrying about these sort of things and most of the stuff I've read about it makes me worry even more.

I wondered if any other people have had this sort of therapy and wondered what they thought about it?

Jim

[nomorepanic]

Jim

Sorry but I have never heard of this.

When do you start?

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[Jimbo]

Most people I've asked haven't heard of it either.

Got a letter a few days ago asking what times they can arrange my intial assesment for. Have waited about 3 months for the appointment so hopefully it's soon.

Jim

[nomorepanic]

Ok well let us know how it goes won't you?

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[Jimbo]

Sure. I'll keep this updated with what happens.

I'm getting my usual anxious feeling about going whenever I think about it, now its actually starting.

I have so many fears that the doctors / therapists won't understand or believe me for some reason and they'll just tell me to pull myself together and go back to normal. I know it's stupid, but I can't help thinking it.

I know I'll have to explain all about what's happened to me so far, which is the worst thing as I almost can't believe it myself. I always end up getting so upset talking about it all and I'm not looking forward to going through it again with yet another complete stranger.

The last therapy I did was with the practise counsellor at my GP's surgery. Although it helped me to understand I wasn't going 'crazy' as I thought. It at least helped me realise some reason as to why all this has happened to me (I have a lot of skeletons in my past). But it didn't really solve anything.

I'm already starting to get myself worked up about it and I don't even have a date for the appointment yet. [Sigh...]

Jim

[trish1955]

already mp you but as i have just read what you was saying about going over evry thing yet again i was saying this to my sister as i have had a few diffrent kinds of councilin and we seem to go to the begining over and over i dont think what happend in the past is what we need to go through its the here and now as at the back of my minds we prob no how it all began we need to find ways to move forward and not keep going back all the time any way just thought i would tell u what i think trish

[Jimbo]

Thanks Trish, I totally agree. I did a course of normal counselling and it made me feel awful and dredged up loads of emotions from my past. Definitely didn't help me much, other than understanding where some of the emotions I'm feeling now might have come from.

They will probably want to know a bit about my past and what has happened. I guess there is no way around this, as they need to get an idea of who you are. Not looking forward to that bit of it. I guess my last post was a bit silly, I was just thinking the worst as usual. [Duh!]

From what I've read it is a modification of CBT, in that it works on your current thought processes rather than focusing on what has gone on in your past. My GP says it's more of a "here and now" type therapy. Compared to CBT, it is supposed to be more orientated towards people who have had episodes of self destructive behaviour as well as depression, anxiety, panic, etc.

I found this document after a google, seems to explain it quite well but it is quite long:
http://behavioraltech.org/downloads/dbtFaq_Cons.pdf

I found it interesting to read about BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), sounds a bit scary to me, but I think I do seem to fit into the criteria for it a bit. [:O]

I'll keep note of what happens here.

Jim

[Jimbo]

I've finally got my initial appointment on thursday. A few nerves about it, but I'm sure I'll get through it.

I'll let you lot know how it goes.

Jim

[Jimbo]

It's tomorrow, feeling very nervous about it. Not expecting much sleep tonight. :wacko:

It's taking a lot of effort to tell myself not to worry and just take it as it comes. I know I'll be fine.

[Under~The~Stars]

((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))

Just wanted to wish you good luck again for tomorrow, will be thinking of you :)

Let us know how it goes.

Take care :hugs:

[Jimbo]

I'm setting off in a bit. :S

My anxiety is through the roof right now, on the verge of panic. Firstly about the journey there, I have to go on the bus into town, :sofa:. Secondly the aprehension about what's gonna happen. So many 'what ifs' etc. :ohmy:

I'll let you know what happens when I get back.

Jim

[Wendie j]

Hi ya jim

hope all goes well thinking of you and wishing you all the best.:hugs:

Wendie j xxxxx

[jo61]

Good luck today Jimbo. Let us know how you get on.

[Jimbo]

I made it, and I'm back home safe now and have chilled out a bit before making this post. :)

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all, there was a lot of stuff to take in. I took a valium before I went because I was feeling so freaked out about it, which probably wasn't a good idea as I was a bit out of it I think and some of it just went in one ear and out the other, lol.

I might have got the wrong end of the stick about some of it but I'll try to explain what it's about from how I understood it.

Its a very intensive therapy, will have to go every week and will involve 2 hours in a group session and 1 hour of individual work, will go on for a minimum of 6 months and probably longer, possibly up to 8 months or a year.

He explained about BPD, there's the 9 symptoms that diagnose it and to have 'true' BPD you have to show at least 5 of them (or something like that) to make a full diagnosis of it. He said that not all the people that do DBT have true BPD but may show some of the symptoms.

He said it is more effective for these sort of people than CBT which can actually be frustrating and not helpful at all because of the way our mind works.

He explained how BPD can come about, did the whole white board thing with diagrams and stuff, so I'll try to explain briefly... (lol)

He said basically there are 2 sides to everyone’s personality. A logical mind and an emotional mind, these 2 overlap and in the middle where you have the wise mind. Everyone has a balance of the two and some people are more emotional and some people are more logical, both types are totally normal.

BPD occurs when you get a person who is on the emotional side of the scale and who have had what they call an 'invalidating environment' while growing up, like not feeling loved, neglected, abused, etc. Because often the emotions they experienced were 'invalidated' or ignored, perhaps told they were wrong to experience them, like being told not to cry or not experiencing enough care and understanding of them when they were upset or not enough praise when they were happy. People with BPD learn to cope with emotions in the wrong way. This means that a person with BPD has a problem controlling their emotions and will often seem to move between extremes of the 2 personality types. Either experiencing intense and uncontrollable emotions like sadness and fear or numb and unable to experience other emotions like love or happiness.

It all seemed to make total sense and seemed exactly like me.

I'm sure there's a lot more to come, I got a sheet explaining a bit about it. It says the group therapy is based on 4 modules: Core Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation and Distress Tolerance. All sound a bit crazy, I'm sure more will get explained about them. The individual sessions are to make sure the treatment is going well and being as effective as possible. I'll have to fill in cards to keep track of the skills I'm learning and will have written homework sheets and tasks to complete which I will have to discuss in the group sessions.

I said I was a bit worried about the group stuff, but he tried to reassure me that all the other people there will be going through the exact same thing and will be just as anxious. He said all the groups he's had have been really great people and I'll probably end up making friends from it.

I have 2 more assessment sessions and the actual therapy will start in April. So I guess a lot more stuff will get explained and prepared before it starts.

He ended a bit by talking a bit about what goals I would like to have achieve to improve myself. For me these were stopping the panic attacks and anxiety, stopping the self harm, getting into a job I enjoy doing, feeling able to express the real me, finding a decent relationship with someone and a few others I can't remember now.

He said it's gonna take a lot of work from me and I really have to want to do it. I'm probably going to have times where I feel worse and have lapses along the way. I'll pretty much do anything to get better so I'm willing to put the work in. A bit of a scary commitment tho, I hope I can do it. I feel a bit scared if I can cope with it all truthfully.

I guess my only fears are of the unknown. I'm a bit scared by the group sessions, making a fool of myself or something, looking like an idiot in front of people and perhaps not being able to cope with what they expect of me in terms of facing my fears, homework, etc.

That’s all I can remember for now.... phew, its over for 1 week at least.

Jim

[Under~The~Stars]

Hey Jim :)

Firstly, I want to give you a (((((BIG HUG))))) as you made a very big and positive step today by going to see the therapist - well done! :D

It sounds like it went really well, which is really great! :D

Thankyou for the explanation of BPD - was very helpful.

You would have been feeling really anxious and panicky about going, but bet you're over the moon now that you managed it, as thats a really big achievement, and such a massive step forward! :D

I'm sure there will be a lot of work involved, but then no-one ever said it would be easy, and it really sounds like they can show you the path to where you want to be.

So how do you feel now you've been and heard a lot about it?

I was thinking about you today :)

I will pm you the symptoms I have, to see where we are similar etc, and then if I get a bit braver I may post it on the forum :winks:

The therapy starts in April, so yeah I'm sure you will get more insight about the whole thing in the 2 other sessions that you will have before it starts.

Keep posting about how you're getting on - you're not alone in any of it ok hun :)

Take care

[Jimbo]

Thanks,

I hope I got the explanation right, he said I would know BPD like the back of my hand and be able to explain it to him by the end of this. :D

I did have a bit of a "omg what have i signed up to!" moment earlier, I was having a load of 'what ifs' thinking stuff like; what if I can't cope with it, what if people don't like me in the group or make a fool of myself in front of them, what if they ask me to do stuff I can't cope with doing, etc, etc.

Right now I'm feeling pretty positive about it and was just having a 'moment' earlier. I think it will help me and I just want to be able to have a 'normal' life. I am prepared to put in the effort to get there. I know it's gonna be really hard work, but like you said, no one ever said it was easy!

Oh and I completely forgot to explain what the therapist was like, lol. He's a fairly young guy 30's I think, seemed like a nice enough guy. I didn't have any problem talking to him so he was ok I guess.

Jim

[Under~The~Stars]

With the therapy that you will get - you probably will know it inside out LOL, but thats a good thing! :)

Because it was your first session today with the therapist there will have been loads to take in, and think about - so it's not surprising that you had loads of thoughts like "omg what have i signed up to!" Thats totally natural, your mind has been overloaded with info today, so it just needs some time to try and work everything out. But don't worry about that - just give it some time. And just keep telling yourself - that your getting the therapy because it's going to help, and it's a positive step forward :)

The more you put into the therapy - the more you will get out of it (thats what my psychologist always says to me, and it's so true!) All the hard work that you put into it will be worth it in the end :)

I will pm you like I said I was going to.

Hope you sleep well, and probably speak tomorrow :)

[Jimbo]

I just had the 2nd of my 3 induction sessions today. Wasn't quite as anxious as before, but still a bit apprehensive. I actually came out feeling quite good.

We did an example session of the one to one therapy I will be getting. It was basically like one of the CBT sessions I did with my last counsellor. Going through a worksheet analysing my last self harm incident. Going through the day and what led up to it, and analysing my feelings and what exactly happened before, going through the negative thoughts, things I had done and highlighting the beneficial stuff. Slightly different to the CBT in that we didn't try to focus on and challenege the negative stuff, just focussed on the beneficial things and thought about what other things I could have done to help myself more.

It was a shortened version and apparently the actual sessions like that will be going into much more detail. It was difficult, but not too bad. The therapist was a lot better at it than my counsellor and really helped me through it, to think about events more clearly and get it down on paper. My counsellor kinda just posed the questions and let me flounder around trying to answer them and failing miserably. I think I'm gonna get on with him ok.

I had the chance to ask questions about stuff, I asked loads about the group sessions and what they will involve. They were worrying me the most. It doesn't sound too bad, it's basically gonna be like a group teaching session where we will go through all the different modules and then share our experiences and thoughts about how the work could help us and how we have tried to implement it. The best reassurance was that I'm not going to have to stand up and go through all my past issues or even have to talk about self-harm (which apparantly is a rule that you don't talk about it), which made me feel much less worried.

I also went away with about 6 different 'tick box' questionnaires about various things, which would help evaluate how I feel now and then I take them again again at the end of the therapy to assess whether it has helped.

I just filled them in, most of them were fairly easy to answer, lots of stuff about my self image, mood, relationships, thoughts about hurting myself, etc, etc. I was a bit wary about some of them, (The Wessex Dissociation Scale) sounds like a gauge of just how crazy you are, lol. Some mad questions in there like: I feel as if there is more than one of me: Never, Rarely, Sometimes, etc. :ohmy:

I answered them all totally honestly, so if I don't post for a while next week when I hand them in, it's because I've been locked up for being too crazy, lol :winks:.

Jim :shades:

[Jimbo]

Update.

I spent the whole week getting worked up about everything and was in a complete mess for the last assesment session. I made it tho.

He basically started going through some of the rules about missing sessions and some of the rules in the group.

Then started on sorting through my goals and working out which ones were realistic goals and which were dream goals. Found that so hard to think about what I want in my life.

I'll be having a break now till middle of April before the actual therapy starts.

Jim