chingy
05-08-15, 22:00
Good morning,
I hope I am posting in the correct forum. Art the start of 2014 I started dating a girl. We went out for about 3 months until she admitted that she was not over her ex and needed to be by herself and get through some of the emotional baggage she has. I supported this decision and said I would stay by her as a friend. Over the next few months we would see each other now and then to catch up, it was hard for me because I had strong feelings for her and wanted more but understood that people have always abandoned her. We continued catching up now and then until last October. Then we didn't speak for months. Earlier this year in January, she said she wanted to catch up which I agreed to. The relationship blossomed as she felt she was happy with me and really sure about herself that she was ready for another relationship. As the relationship progressed I learnt from her that her ex boyfriend was a narcissist and treated her very badly. She was emotionally abused while she lived with him in Australia for a year and half, and was also physically abused, he used to choke her. In the last few months I noticed that she was getting more distant with me, however, I ignored this and thought she was just doing her own thing in life. However, three weeks ago she said that she needed to step back away from us and concentrate on herself. She said she was seeing a councilor which I was very happy about. I said I would go through this journey together with her, however, she said she needed to do this by herself, she needed to learn to trust herself and her decisions. The reason for her distance with me in the last few months was that she would get panic attacks and anxiety when seeing me. She said she is terrified of commitment and to give herself to me. She said she has not been herself for the past 2 years since breaking up her ex, she said she used to be such a loving person but hasn't been herself and needs to work hard to find herself again. I ended it by saying that I love her and respect her decision. I told her that whatever happens I just want her to be happy. I asked if there would be another chance for us in the future and she said that what will be, will be, but to not put my life on hold while she sorts herself out. recently she txt me yesterday because I had given her a birthday gift and she asked if we could catch up soon. I told her that, she knows how I feel about her and I just cant "catch up", however, I would always be there for her if she needed me. She said she understood and respected my decision. My question is have I ruined this for any potential future with us? She took a step back so she can heal, and I need to do the same thing. The other question was I have stood by this girl, and understand that she has gone through some terrible experiences, once she finds herself and works through her issues with her councilor would she try and possibly come back into my life? I love this girl, but like ive said, whatever happens, whether it be with me, or someone else, I just want her to be happy and work through her panic and anxiety.
I hope I am posting in the correct forum. Art the start of 2014 I started dating a girl. We went out for about 3 months until she admitted that she was not over her ex and needed to be by herself and get through some of the emotional baggage she has. I supported this decision and said I would stay by her as a friend. Over the next few months we would see each other now and then to catch up, it was hard for me because I had strong feelings for her and wanted more but understood that people have always abandoned her. We continued catching up now and then until last October. Then we didn't speak for months. Earlier this year in January, she said she wanted to catch up which I agreed to. The relationship blossomed as she felt she was happy with me and really sure about herself that she was ready for another relationship. As the relationship progressed I learnt from her that her ex boyfriend was a narcissist and treated her very badly. She was emotionally abused while she lived with him in Australia for a year and half, and was also physically abused, he used to choke her. In the last few months I noticed that she was getting more distant with me, however, I ignored this and thought she was just doing her own thing in life. However, three weeks ago she said that she needed to step back away from us and concentrate on herself. She said she was seeing a councilor which I was very happy about. I said I would go through this journey together with her, however, she said she needed to do this by herself, she needed to learn to trust herself and her decisions. The reason for her distance with me in the last few months was that she would get panic attacks and anxiety when seeing me. She said she is terrified of commitment and to give herself to me. She said she has not been herself for the past 2 years since breaking up her ex, she said she used to be such a loving person but hasn't been herself and needs to work hard to find herself again. I ended it by saying that I love her and respect her decision. I told her that whatever happens I just want her to be happy. I asked if there would be another chance for us in the future and she said that what will be, will be, but to not put my life on hold while she sorts herself out. recently she txt me yesterday because I had given her a birthday gift and she asked if we could catch up soon. I told her that, she knows how I feel about her and I just cant "catch up", however, I would always be there for her if she needed me. She said she understood and respected my decision. My question is have I ruined this for any potential future with us? She took a step back so she can heal, and I need to do the same thing. The other question was I have stood by this girl, and understand that she has gone through some terrible experiences, once she finds herself and works through her issues with her councilor would she try and possibly come back into my life? I love this girl, but like ive said, whatever happens, whether it be with me, or someone else, I just want her to be happy and work through her panic and anxiety.