Looking for help

[Obatam]

Hello, my name is Andrea and I'm 28 years old. I just discovered this site two days ago but unfortunately I'm not new to anxiety and panic attacks. Everything started 11 years ago and I've had my ups and downs but I feel like this has been chasing me my entire life. I was doing ok until last August. I've tried everything from homeopathy to acupuncture. I don't eat meat or dairy. I go to EMDR therapy once a week but nothing is helping. Everyday I feel worse and I feel like my mind can't take it anymore. I know I'm not strong enough to try to commit suicide but there are sometimes I wish someone would kill me and take the pain away from me. I've got every symptom on the menu and have them constantly. I am lucky if I am able to feel fine a couple of hours a week. I can't be alone, not at home, not outside. I can't drive because I feel I can't trust my body and that suddenly I'll loose control. I am desperate and embarrassed. The only person I can count on is my husband and I feel like I'm destroying his life. We've only been married for 14 months and instead of being happy my anxiety is making us live in a nightmare. I would just love to be a normal healthy woman... I see women my age having babies (my strongest desire) and I don't understand what I did wrong to be punished this way.
I would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation if there's actually a solution to this. I keep hearing it's going to be ok but after 1 year I don't believe it myself.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Obatam and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[sial72]

Hi Obatam
I have been like you are now and I did get better, in fact when I became pregnant I felt great!
Please don't despair, you certainly can get better, you just have to break the cycle. Have you read Claire Weekes?
I see you have a Spanish flag, I am in Spain too...
Xxx

[ryh]

Hi there
I suffered 12 years ago and my anxiety has come back. but I Put it in its place, you have to be strong, easier said than done I know. Life is a beautiful thing and you have your husband there and I am sure he married you for a reason, that you are a good human being. I am back to work now 4th day today, there is hope. xxx

[Buttons11]

I'm sorry to hear how your suffering especially for so long, but please don't give up it will get better total cliche I no but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I too was young when all this started, I'm 27 now. I felt like this for two years I wanted to end it all, everyday I woke up wishing I was dead, but like you didn't have the courage to do it myself.

Then after two years off suffering one day I just started to feel a bit better and it just kept going, my anxiety was still there but definitely not as extreme it started to get more manageable.

I still have anxiety issues with feeling comfortable around ppl but I'm working on it with a cbt therapist.

Hope this gives you a little bit off comfort. xx

[Zeldagirl]

You are not alone at all. My anxiety and panic has become a real nightmare for my husband as well. We can't really go anywhere and it has changed our lives so much. He is so supportive but he doesn't completely understand. Which I know you really can't until you experience it. Which I do not want for anyone, ever.

I know exactly how you feel when you say you feel like your being punished and you see everyone else living happy lives without this. That's how I feel every day too :( I can say that I was anxiety free for a couple years. I don't know why but this current episode is really taking its toll. It will get better tho just trust that it will :)

[Obatam]

Hi Obatam
I have been like you are now and I did get better, in fact when I became pregnant I felt great!
Please don't despair, you certainly can get better, you just have to break the cycle. Have you read Claire Weekes?
I see you have a Spanish flag, I am in Spain too...
Xxx
Hi! Thank you for your help. It's nice to meet someone who understands what I'm going through. I haven't read Weekes but I'll google her. Where are you in Spain?

---------- Post added at 13:27 ---------- Previous post was at 13:26 ----------


Hi there
I suffered 12 years ago and my anxiety has come back. but I Put it in its place, you have to be strong, easier said than done I know. Life is a beautiful thing and you have your husband there and I am sure he married you for a reason, that you are a good human being. I am back to work now 4th day today, there is hope. xxx
Thank you for your kind words. I hope everything is going better now.

---------- Post added at 13:30 ---------- Previous post was at 13:27 ----------


I'm sorry to hear how your suffering especially for so long, but please don't give up it will get better total cliche I no but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I too was young when all this started, I'm 27 now. I felt like this for two years I wanted to end it all, everyday I woke up wishing I was dead, but like you didn't have the courage to do it myself.

Then after two years off suffering one day I just started to feel a bit better and it just kept going, my anxiety was still there but definitely not as extreme it started to get more manageable.

I still have anxiety issues with feeling comfortable around ppl but I'm working on it with a cbt therapist.

Hope this gives you a little bit off comfort. xx
Yes, it does give me some comfort. In all these years I had never met so many people who could at least understand what I'm going through. I just hope I don't have to wait for another year to start feeling better (a year has been more than enough :wacko:) Thank you!

[sial72]

Barcelona