anyone else find it hard to make friends?

[Buttons11]

I'm 27 and I suffer from social anxiety due to being bullied when growing up both by family and other ppl. As a result I find it hard too feel comfortable around ppl.

I've cut these ppl out of my life for a few years now because I had two children and didn't want them around that type off environment, were they see there mum being treated poorly by ppl, I went through it with my mum and as a consequence I have serious anxiety and confidence issues, I don't want this for my kids and I try my best but it's just me and my kids and I feel guilty because i wish they could have a normal family with cousins, aunties, uncles etc instead of just me.

I've never had a true friend and find it difficult to make friends. I tried group stuff but it makes my anxiety worse and my low confidence doesn't help.

Just want to.know if anyone else has similar problems to me and if so hope how they cope. x

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Buttons11 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Obatam]

Hi,
I don't have social anxiety but I believe you're doing a great job. Some people in my life, even family, criticized me because of my anxiety and after many years I decided to cut them out. Just because they are family it doesn't mean you have to like them. When I was a kid my cousins weren't my age (in fact I am a lot younger) so my aunts, uncles and cousins are my parents' friends and their kids. You just have to give your family some time to understand and you'll see how they'll try to come back into your life again. If they don't you still have everything to be happy. You are 27 and have two kids!!! You are young and have your whole life ahead to watch them grow into amazing human beings because in the end that's the thing with us, we'll never do to our kids what our parents did to us. :bighug1:

[stressedanxious]

I'm 27 and I suffer from social anxiety due to being bullied when growing up both by family and other ppl. As a result I find it hard too feel comfortable around ppl.

I've cut these ppl out of my life for a few years now because I had two children and didn't want them around that type off environment, were they see there mum being treated poorly by ppl, I went through it with my mum and as a consequence I have serious anxiety and confidence issues, I don't want this for my kids and I try my best but it's just me and my kids and I feel guilty because i wish they could have a normal family with cousins, aunties, uncles etc instead of just me.

I've never had a true friend and find it difficult to make friends. I tried group stuff but it makes my anxiety worse and my low confidence doesn't help.

Just want to.know if anyone else has similar problems to me and if so hope how they cope. x



I am dealing with the exact same thing, my child doesn't have much contact with other family members except for a couple. It sucks I wish we could all have a good relationship, we don't though :(

[Buttons11]

Thanks Obatma, ano I should appreciate having my two kids and I do, my kids are my life its just hard doing it on my own, it would just be nice to have that family unit that I see so many other ppl have, but I no that's never gonna happen.

I should stop dwelling on what I don't have and be more positive on what I do have, just easier said than done sometimes x

---------- Post added at 13:43 ---------- Previous post was at 13:31 ----------

Hi Stressedanxious

I'm sorry to hear u have same probs with your family, yes it does suck ALOT!!!
It hurts that your own family treat you with such disrespect because at the end of the day family shouldn't do that to each other x

[robinder]

Hi Buttons11,

Sorry to hear your account of what has occured in your life.

I have had a few ups and downs, and the downs seriously dented my opinion of myself. I had low self-esteem, and struggled to feel at ease with my peers, both in and out of work.

I am still experiencing this now.

I cut a lot of people out of my life - not because they were inherently bad, but because they were negative. I made the decision they were not true friends, and hard though it was, I decided to gradually detach myself from contact with them. I did feel a bit crappy about it at the time.

I finally became happy with my own company, and I started by having "treat nights" or "treat dinners". Silly things like pizza every Tuesday for example.

I tried/try to focus on things that made/me happy, like watching a quiz show on TV or something.

The best thing that I did to help myself was finding a distraction/interest, and just lose myself for an hour or so.

Hope things pick up for you

R

[stressedanxious]

[/COLOR]Hi Stressedanxious

I'm sorry to hear u have same probs with your family, yes it does suck ALOT!!!
It hurts that your own family treat you with such disrespect because at the end of the day family shouldn't do that to each other x



No they shouldn't do that to each other, but what can we do? Its so difficult, I Just don't know what to do , it hurts that my child won't have all this family around, to hang out with and know , but thats life i suppose :/

[Buttons11]

Yeah ur right Stressedanxiuos, that's life we just have to make best of it. What we have to do is make sure that the little family they do have make them feel loved, happy and safe because that's what they need the most xx