View Full Version : Irrational fear of going bald
BlueEyesShining
08-08-15, 11:42
First of all, sorry if there is a same topic here.
As the title says, i have a big, rather irrational fear of losing all my hair, or of my hair getting ridiculosly thin.
This started a year ago. I was battling an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa. When i was sick i was losing a lot of hair, and i really mean A LOT, it was falling out in clumps. But i have rather strong and thick hair so it was not so noticeable, althought i could see the difference.
Luckily, i recovered. New hair started growing, and now my hair is as thick as it was before my ED. But now, every single hair that i lose and my panic is sky high. I count the hairs that fall daily and i can estimate it`s around 50, maybe 100 at the most, when i wash my hair. I know that losing up to 150 hairs a day is completely normal, but i`m still so anxious. I even cried yesterday when i brushed my hair and saw 5 hairs on it... I don`t want the same thing as last year, to happen to me again. I`m eating well and take care of my hair.
But I`m still obsessing about this. I dream about my hair falling out, and how i hold it in my hands. It`s pure hell. Help
No one hear can help you since you already know your hair is now not going to be bald since your hair is thick again. So your problem is HA and for that therapy with or without meds is the solution.
---------- Post added at 13:52 ---------- Previous post was at 13:42 ----------
Btw I will share my story with you, maybe it will help you. I am a guy with very thick hair also. Few years ago I started waking up and seeing at least 30-40 hairs on my pillow. I was literally petrified. I mean you wake up and see some hair on pillow but this was ridiculous amount. I went to dermatologist who didn't find any problem. I started also counting hairs but the number was more than yours. Around 30-40 on pillow and a bunch throughout a day. Few months passed and my hair to my surprise wasn't thinning so much that I could see it. Then I stopped worrying so much about it. Problem continued for another couple of months and then stopped without me doing anything. I still have thick hair and even though it was falling out much more than normal new hair grew back. Yours is also growing so no reason to worry.
I think you must stop counting your hairs. Hair shedding in moderation is normal. You have thick, lustrous hair which renews itself. Enjoy your hair rather than be afraid of it? You have taken control of and beaten anorexia and you are determined not to succumb again...and you won't with this attitude.
percythetrain
08-08-15, 20:08
Hi Blueeyes, I tend to lose a lot of hair as well. I lose strands by the handful though LOL It might also be because for the past year I've been depressed and would seldom brush my hair, so when I finally did it would come out something unreal.
Maybe this won't help but one thing that helps me to get over a particular phobia is finding solutions for possible worst case scenarios. For example, if I actually were to lose my hair there are doctors out there who can do hair transplantation. It's what some transgender people do to fill out their receding hairlines and make them more feminine, also some men and women with alopecia. I mean it's not free but I'm sure it's worth the investment for someone who wants a full mane :)
BlueEyesShining
12-08-15, 22:55
Now I`ve read something sbout alopecia and it`s so scary that you can lose all of your hair OVERNIGHT. I`m shaking. I can only hope that this won`t happen to me because this would be pure hell for me. I think that this gave me a panic attack. It says it can happen to anybody, anytime... I need some reassurance... This may be a stupid fear but it feels so real for me
spacebunnyx
13-08-15, 08:15
Can I say I actually find this post really irritating. I have alopecia areata... it's not a "maybe" or "I'm losing lots of hair" etc... . And yes, it is life-changing, but it isn't a death sentence.
If you get alopecia the world won't end.. your world won't end. You cope with it like millions do every day. People who live fullfilling and happy lives.
Of course I wish I didn't have AA, but in the grand scheme of things it's insignificant. HA and panic are far worse. Don't mix up the two.
And please get help for your HA.
Are you taking this on board, BlueEyesShining? It will really help you if you do.
BlueEyesShining
13-08-15, 09:38
Sorry if my post was offensive for some of you, i really didn`t wanted to sound that way. I don`t say that it is the scarriest thing in the world but it`s the scarriest for me, same as some other people that fear spiders, heights, darkness etc. I`m already getting help for my HA, but somehow this fear stays in my head and i feel better when i talk to someone cause sometimes i feel like i`m going crazy if i remain silent. Sorry once again
spacebunnyx
13-08-15, 10:35
Yes, it was a bit offensive to me - not gonna lie. But most importantly is the fact that you are worrying you might have symptoms, but don't seem to be dealing with the phobia you have. Stop counting the hairs, don't Google. Reassurance seeking won't help.
Believe me, if you develop AA there is nothing you can do anyway, and you will know about it for sure. The majority of people get very distinctive smooth round patches, not so much general shedding. Enjoy your life.
Space
I'm sure that Blueeyeshining was not wanting to be offensive or to irritate anyone, this is simply her irrational fear and that is why they are called irrational. She has apologized, even though she didn't have to because she has not been offensive towards anyone.
I hope the treatment you are getting for your HA will help you solve this soon and that people's stories can help reassure you x
Trouble is, reassurance won't work but maybe being challenged by a diagnosed alopecia sufferer will help to put things in perspective? As with all things HA related.
Oh yes pulisa I totally agree on that it's just that I didn't think it was fair for her to be told that her message was offensive or irritating because she was polite and just explaining her irrational fears x
I look like Mr. Clean but as a man, I embraced it :D
I do understand how for some, this may strike a nerve. As a cancer survivor, I can't tell you how it pushes my buttons when I read about someone's cancer fears and the fact they smoke! :huh: In fact, in one post I recall, the OP was a smoker in fear of lung cancer and complained he didn't have enough money to buy food! He could spend $5 for a pack of smokes though! Arrrggg! :mad:
That being said, the OP admitted in the thread title that the fear was irrational and it is. Unfortunately, as has been stated, reassurance doesn't work and advice such as "Don't Google" or "Stop self checking" while totally logical and prudent, often falls on deaf ears and/or a lack of self control makes it nearly impossible to do due to their anxiety.
The best advice really is to continue with therapy, bring up these fears at the sessions and find the tools to fight the dragon off. As we see here often, when someone is in the midst of an anxiety spiral, nothing anyone can say makes a difference.
Positive thoughts
BlueEyesShining
13-08-15, 15:13
So maybe it`s because my hair has always been a part of my identity. It`s the most prominent feature on me, i`ve always had long black hair and most people associate me with it. So i think if i lose it i will somehow lose myself, i know its not like that but it really feels that way.
Sorry once again if anyone has been offended. I can understand how life changing it all can be... I will continue getting help for my HA and taking care of my hair, and that`s all i can do
MyNameIsTerry
13-08-15, 22:42
Oh yes pulisa I totally agree on that it's just that I didn't think it was fair for her to be told that her message was offensive or irritating because she was polite and just explaining her irrational fears x
Totally agree, otherwise shut every single anxiety forum & self help group down as they will always be offensive to someone in a world with children dieing from starvation or war. There is always somebody worse off in this world and they can't pop to their GP for antibiotics for something basic like we all do... but I don't see all those non anxiety disorder sufferers apologising for using the NHS.
If we have to look at fear on the basis of it being justifiable in terms of in a normal scenario, that's probably 99% of this place being unjustified.
I can understand. I have very thick hair and at the beginning of this. Year I noticed that I was shedding a lot more hair than usual. I spoke to my doctor about it several times and I had blood tests done as thyroid problems can cause hair loss. All my blood tests showed besides high cholesterol (sigh) was very low Vitamin D. IMy hair is still thick but it is definitely thinner than it was before. My doctor was unconcerned and he said he couldn't see any bald patches. I actually sent a pm to someone on here who posted about a similar problem quite a lomg time ago. She was kind enough to respond to my pm. Anyway she believed that her problem was Telogen Effluvium. It is largely caused by stress. I think that is what my problem was too. It eventually resolves itsel but it can take a long time.
So I do understand your distress. A female's hair is very much a part of her identity as you said. I'm not sure what advice you were seeking from people here though as you didn't ask for any.
BlueEyesShining
14-08-15, 10:54
I wasn`t seeking any advice for hair loss cause at the moment my hair isn`t falling out. I wanted some advice for my emotional problems caused by the thought of possible baldness.
I had telogen effluvium after suffering with anorexia nervosa but when i recovered my hair grew back as thick as it was before. So it resolves itself when you remove the trigger that is causing it
I think you need to speak to a professional for that sort of advice. Myself and other people here can probably relate to your fear and we can share our own experiences with hair loss. But noone here is qualified to help you deal with your irrational fears.
I don't think it unreasonable that someone diagnosed with alopecia and dealing with it along with the anxiety involved should challenge your irrational fears though, BlueEyesShining. Hopefully it may help you in the long run? I do think you need to seek professional help for your wide-ranging fears though.
spacebunnyx
14-08-15, 12:07
Hi BlueEyesShining - I'm glad you're thinking it thorugh and trying to figure out the root of the problem. As you say it seems that a lot of your identity is to do up with your hair - perhaps it's time to find other ways of self-identification? Perhaps through the things you do rather than to your physical self? Have you had CBT therapy?
For me, losing my hair is just another "thing" in life. It's not fundamental to who I am, and I took/take objection to someone implying that it's "hell"... because it makes me *feel* that how my hair is is *wrong* in some way. Everyone is allowed to express irrational fears (we all have them) but we are also allowed to say when we feel offended.
I hope you feel better soon. It must be horrible to have this fear.
Space x
p.s. I don't think we should generalise and say that hair loss is better/worse for men or women. As a young-ish woman with alopecia, I have options of wigs and scarves... things that aren't as accepted for men with the same condition.
BlueEyesShining
14-08-15, 12:29
Hi spacebunnyx, i started some sort of therapy but no its not CBT. Would you say that it can be helpful for this kind of fear?
And if you dont mind me asking, can you tell me how your AA started, the earliest signs, and do you know the trigger of it? If you don`t feel comfortable to write about it here, you can send me a personal message.
spacebunnyx
14-08-15, 12:48
BlueEyesShining - I found CBT helpful for dealing with negative behaviours - it makes you realise that seaking reassurance etc does not help in the long run. It creates strategies for coping so you don't wind yourself up into a panic.
If you have AA you really know you have it. It's very distinctive - round and completely smooth patches. I found mine whilst tying my hair back into a ponytail one day. The patches can get larger or can grow hair again - you can never tell. Not a single hair grows in the patch when it's active. At the moment I have one large patch on the side of my head that's gradually getting bigger. Alopecia areata is autoimmune, I already knew I had a dodgy immune system anyway. So it wasn't a real suprise.
Space x
BlueEyesShining
14-08-15, 12:52
I understand. So the hair loss is happening gradually and not "overnight"? And how does the treatment look like? Thanks
spacebunnyx
14-08-15, 12:58
It is very gradual. However, there's no real treatment. I've used steroid cream but it doesn't work. There's steroid injections and other bits and bobss that you can try, but basically it does it's own thing and you really don't have much control over it. For most people it comes and goes.
BEyes... you need to stop asking about this. You're just feeding an irrational fear. There's no reason to be versed on such a thing, you don't have it and the chances of this ever developing in your life are slim to none.
Positive thoughts
BEyes... you need to stop asking about this. You're just feeding an irrational fear. There's no reason to be versed on such a thing, you don't have it and the chances of this ever developing in your life are slim to none.
Positive thoughts
He's right. You're just fuelling your HA by seeking out information which will play on your mind and cause even more doubts and fears
I wasn`t seeking any advice for hair loss cause at the moment my hair isn`t falling out. I wanted some advice for my emotional problems caused by the thought of possible baldness.
I had telogen effluvium after suffering with anorexia nervosa but when i recovered my hair grew back as thick as it was before. So it resolves itself when you remove the trigger that is causing it
You're also not being very honest. If you aren't seeking advice about hair loss then why are you asking spacebunny so many questions about how her's has progressed? I think she already made it pretty clear to you that she is not happy about you comparing your problem to her's and yet here you are asking for details. You have already stated that you had telogen effluvium and that you have made a complete recovery from it. The truth is that you want someone to reassure you that you don't have or won't end up with alopecia. Noone here can do that. We aren't psychologists or dermatologists.
BlueEyesShining
14-08-15, 15:28
swajj and pulisa... yeah it may be not so useful for my HA to ask for details, but i really have no one near me to ask for that. i was seeking for details so i can have information if it happens to me .I just hope that it wasn`t too uncomfortable for her to write it here
The truth is that i want reassurance, but that`s the irrational part of me. The other part knows that i should distract myself and go on with my therapy. But i feel better when i speak with someone about it, as my family isn`t very supportive about my HA
The thing is that you interpret "supportive" as providing reassurance or giving more information on a variety of medical conditions and I would interpret being supportive as pointing this out to you in the hope that you may choose to check these behaviours?
BlueEyesShining
14-08-15, 23:01
I appreciate all your support and advices. I really need to stop reading and checking everything on Google as it really plays tricks on my mind. But I`m constantly checking and touching my hair to make sure it`s still thick and everything is fine. I brush my hair and if there are more than 5 hairs on the brush i feel unwell. The worst is now at night when i stay alone and i have time to overthink. I even cried because i feel like i`m not strong enough to fight this fear which is ruining my life.
BlueEyesShining
16-08-15, 09:59
I feel awful today cause the thoughts are stronger than ever, a friend told me yesterday that in this time of the year her hair falls out too much, and now i`m worries that it will start , althought for me in September/October is the worst. I feel like my scalp is a bit sore in one spot but i think that is because i`ve been holding my hair up in a bun, i hope it`s nothing serious. I`ve been out in the garden till now, trying not to think about anything and trying to stop the intrusive thoughts but nothing seems to work anymore, i am tired
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