Booboo111
08-08-15, 14:30
After lurking this site for almost a year, I finally decided to sign-up and wrote a post to get some help, feedback and - what every person with HA wants - reassurance.
I'm a 29 yo female who never had anxiety until my daughter was born in 2013. Since then I've had severe - and I mean horrific - health anxiety. I've been convinced that I've had skin cancer (family history of basal cell, all removed and cured), breast and ovarian cancer (obgyn exam, pelvic ultrasound, all clear), MND (EMG this March - worst medical test ever! Very painful. All clear) blood clots (ultrasound of legs and arm veins, all clear), stomach cancer (abdominal CT scan, all clear), tonsil/throat cancer (seen ENT twice, had scope down nose and into throat - all clear!) lung cancer (x-Ray, all clear) ..... Wow now that I'm typing this out I'm feeling a little stupid at all my fears that have all been proved WRONG!!!
So I started going to CBT this past winter and I still go once a week. My Faith has also helped me immensely and is something that I know keeps me going and that I'd be lost without. But I had to be on painkillers for the last 6 months on and off for my tailbone (which I broke giving birth and still bothers me from time to time) and I just stopped taking those, so I know that's part of what's bringing it back, because it messed up my natural endorphins, but this week I noticed a snall lump (lymph node) on the right side of my neck, right in the middle. It's soft and maybe the size of a pea, but if I'm honest probably a little smaller... its tender, though I've been poking and rubbing it way too much so maybe I've made it worse?!? Neck muscles achy and sore - but maybe from tension?! I'm convinced the right side of my neck is bigger/swollen and my husband says it's not. I called the ENT and the nurse spoke to the dr and she said it didn't sound like anything worrisome and that I didn't need to come in. And being rational, which is so damn hard, if I did, I can guarantee she'd feel it and say that's nothing, have a nice day! But I can't stop obsessing over my gosh darn neck!!!! Lymph nodes are a big thing for me because it's one of the first things I ever googled and I remember one article I read... I'm sure you all can relate!! And I do have a tooth that had a deep filling over a year ago that's been bothering me a little and its on that right side of my neck, so if j didn't have HA and was a normal person, I'd probably attribute to that! Or actually, I wouldn't even know the tony lump was there because I wouldn't be feeling my neck all the darn time!!!
So as you can see, by this long, rambling of this post and most of my backstory, I have severe health anxiety and it's making my miserable and crazy. I just eBay to be able to truly live in the moment with my beautiful daughter and enjoy life! It's crazy when I start actually thinking about the time I'm wasting.... But like this stupid, tiny lump in my neck, is stealing all my time and energy! I wood appreciate any advice, input or encouragement you might be willing to give!
About HA in general, or about the little lump on my neck! If you read this far, thank you so much for taking the time. Peace and love to you all! :noangel:
I'm a 29 yo female who never had anxiety until my daughter was born in 2013. Since then I've had severe - and I mean horrific - health anxiety. I've been convinced that I've had skin cancer (family history of basal cell, all removed and cured), breast and ovarian cancer (obgyn exam, pelvic ultrasound, all clear), MND (EMG this March - worst medical test ever! Very painful. All clear) blood clots (ultrasound of legs and arm veins, all clear), stomach cancer (abdominal CT scan, all clear), tonsil/throat cancer (seen ENT twice, had scope down nose and into throat - all clear!) lung cancer (x-Ray, all clear) ..... Wow now that I'm typing this out I'm feeling a little stupid at all my fears that have all been proved WRONG!!!
So I started going to CBT this past winter and I still go once a week. My Faith has also helped me immensely and is something that I know keeps me going and that I'd be lost without. But I had to be on painkillers for the last 6 months on and off for my tailbone (which I broke giving birth and still bothers me from time to time) and I just stopped taking those, so I know that's part of what's bringing it back, because it messed up my natural endorphins, but this week I noticed a snall lump (lymph node) on the right side of my neck, right in the middle. It's soft and maybe the size of a pea, but if I'm honest probably a little smaller... its tender, though I've been poking and rubbing it way too much so maybe I've made it worse?!? Neck muscles achy and sore - but maybe from tension?! I'm convinced the right side of my neck is bigger/swollen and my husband says it's not. I called the ENT and the nurse spoke to the dr and she said it didn't sound like anything worrisome and that I didn't need to come in. And being rational, which is so damn hard, if I did, I can guarantee she'd feel it and say that's nothing, have a nice day! But I can't stop obsessing over my gosh darn neck!!!! Lymph nodes are a big thing for me because it's one of the first things I ever googled and I remember one article I read... I'm sure you all can relate!! And I do have a tooth that had a deep filling over a year ago that's been bothering me a little and its on that right side of my neck, so if j didn't have HA and was a normal person, I'd probably attribute to that! Or actually, I wouldn't even know the tony lump was there because I wouldn't be feeling my neck all the darn time!!!
So as you can see, by this long, rambling of this post and most of my backstory, I have severe health anxiety and it's making my miserable and crazy. I just eBay to be able to truly live in the moment with my beautiful daughter and enjoy life! It's crazy when I start actually thinking about the time I'm wasting.... But like this stupid, tiny lump in my neck, is stealing all my time and energy! I wood appreciate any advice, input or encouragement you might be willing to give!
About HA in general, or about the little lump on my neck! If you read this far, thank you so much for taking the time. Peace and love to you all! :noangel: