Sorry for the constant posts.

[Munchlet]

So I just needed to post as I feel by writing it out, it helps a bit.

I still feel so anxious today is Day 10 of Fluoxetine and I've woken up in a complete panic, I've utterly convinced I'm either got Kidney Cancer or Leukemia.

My husband had a go at me yesterday because he said I've been quiet and distant. I tried to explain that I was going through a bad patch of HA and didn't talk to him about it as I knew he got frustrated with me. His response was to shout at me to "sort it out" and "there's nothing wrong with you for god's sake" I tried to say I couldn't help it and he just shouted more saying "yes you can".

So most of yesterday I spent crying. I'm barely eating/sleeping, no appetite, feel sick, just really don't know what to do anymore, I hate this just feel so alone.

[snowflake293]

Hi Munchlet

Reading your post reminded me so much of how I felt around Christmas time last year, when my HA flared up massively and I started Sertraline. I too found my anxiety actually got worse for a few weeks but then it eased off. The doctor actually told me this can sometimes happen with SSRIs.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time :( I can totally relate to what you say about barely eating/sleeping and feeling sick. I was exactly the same. It does get better though I promise you.

You aren't alone, there are lots of us here who understand and can offer support. It does get better - but nothing feels a bad as when you get that horrible feeling of being alone. I really understand.

I am sorry your husband is frustrated. It is really difficult. Keep talking though and tell him how you feel and that you need his support.

You won't feel like this I know, but my best advice for you is to try and do something - even if you feel sick and have no energy. Call a friend or write a letter, or even write your feelings down. Go for a walk if you can manage it, fresh air helped me so much.

You are stronger than you think and you will get through this *hugs* xxx

[tmckenzie-orr]

It's horrible when they don't understand what you are going through and they don't suffer from anxiety at all because they are just like sort it out its easy for them to say it because they don't suffer from it, it's horrible I know I have used up pretty much all of my reassurance checks with my mrs lol she just gets angry now if I ask her to check my mouth or moles etc lol, why do you think you have kidney cancer or leukemia? Logically think now why you have them ?

[snowflake293]

It's horrible when they don't understand what you are going through and they don't suffer from anxiety at all because they are just like sort it out its easy for them to say it because they don't suffer from it, it's horrible I know I have used up pretty much all of my reassurance checks with my mrs lol she just gets angry now if I ask her to check my mouth or moles etc lol, why do you think you have kidney cancer or leukemia? Logically think now why you have them ?

Reassurance checks are really difficult. I found at one point I was probably asking my boyfriend about 20/30 times an evening "I'm ok, aren't I?" showing him all my lumps/bumps and moles! I even found myself checking his moles!! My HA spills over onto others, especially him. I managed to convince myself his chapped lips were cancer last year(!) Best advice is make sure you partner understands why you are asking. What I did was ask him to actually refuse to reassure me (it was really hard, for both of us!) but it did sort of work. You have to really want to do it though.

[ricardo]

I have been married for over 30 years and my wife will do anything for me but doesn't understand my mental condition and actually to an extent puts it into the back of her mind otherwise she couldn't cope.I don't think she ever will.

I nearly have a ritual of repeating my symptoms to her on a daily basis,even though I tell myself keep it bottled up, so if she doesn't really understand how can I expect a doctor or therapist to understand.

Our partners really have a difficult time and it can affect the whole family.My kids have never seen a normal father,if that is the right word, and I think about it a lot, and though I don't have financial problems,we don't operate as a normal family, which is really sad.

[tmckenzie-orr]

Its horrible , how it effects us, i am going to really try and beat it especially as both my boys are only 5 and 2 and i dont want them seeing me like this i hope and pray the cbt works have my 3rd meeting tomorrow , I want to be a normal person without horrible health anxiety and anxiety worrys, its mind over matter and i need to do it before its to late , and iv pushed away my family or they see what a coward i am in the inside at the moment

[MyNameIsTerry]

Its horrible , how it effects us, i am going to really try and beat it especially as both my boys are only 5 and 2 and i dont want them seeing me like this i hope and pray the cbt works have my 3rd meeting tomorrow , I want to be a normal person without horrible health anxiety and anxiety worrys, its mind over matter and i need to do it before its to late , and iv pushed away my family or they see what a coward i am in the inside at the moment

Don't label yourself a coward, Tony. No one on here is a coward, if anything its the opposite given all the fears we are all facing and recovering from. Before my anxiety, life was pretty sweet and I didn't have many cares. I also wasn't as caring as I am now and was definately judgemental of people including those with anxiety disorders (that changed overnight when my turn came!).

Labelling is a powerful negative. I've done it many times...we are men, we are supposed to be bread winners and able to face the hard stuff. Its BS really though, we are all just people and there is only so much we can take.

Strike off the negatives like that and hold onto those positives you mentioned like doing it for a better family life. Your family will love & respect you despite this, we all have our challenges afterall.

So, don't be too hard on yourself.

[Munchlet]

Thank you as always for your support.

So I got up and went to my mums this morning, spent the first couple of hours crying but decided that it was better that than stay home and argue with my husband.

I've come back and had a look online and found a helpline for people suffering from all types of anxiety/stress so going to give them a call to see if they can offer any advice suggestions.

My husband said last night that I need to go back to my CBT which I will but my only concern with them is that it takes weeks and weeks for you to get an appointment and normally by the time I do the medication has kicked in and the last therapist used that as an excuse to discharge me saying my health anxiety wasn't in full flow and she couldn't help. I don't really see how I can win with that but will call them in the morning.

[ricardo]

I won't knock CBT just because it didn't work for me but when I was told by the Doctor doing the CBT that her success rate was 60% I wasn't impressed. I know a few people on NMP who have been doing the CBT "homework" for years and there condition hasn't changed.

Is it really such a wonderful therapy. I appreciate it is up to each individual to do the work but often being so stressed or anxious it's difficult to concentrate and progress.

Are you apples or oranges lol

---------- Post added at 11:20 ---------- Previous post was at 11:11 ----------


Its horrible , how it effects us, i am going to really try and beat it especially as both my boys are only 5 and 2 and i dont want them seeing me like this i hope and pray the cbt works have my 3rd meeting tomorrow , I want to be a normal person without horrible health anxiety and anxiety worrys, its mind over matter and i need to do it before its to late , and iv pushed away my family or they see what a coward i am in the inside at the moment

That is exactly the right approach Tony.I got very complacent and the pills just stabilised me but only to an extent.I really wish you good luck, you have a lot of living to do.

[Munchlet]

At the moment Ricardo I feel like I'm probably a lemon :)

I've just called a No Panic helpline in the UK and they said "do CBT" I explained the waiting etc and that by the time it comes round the worst of it has subsided and the guy on the phone said "well you need to stop taking your medication" WHAT!!!!!! Seriously why would you say that, he said it's not good doing CBT whilst on meds so you need to not take it so you can have the CBT effectively.

I pointed out that I basically can't function without it at the moment and even on it I'm not functioning and he said well in that case keep taking it then stop it about a week before your first CBT appt, I have to say I found that a bit worrying and probably not good advice seeing as it would be the complete opposite advice to what my GP would give me!

[tmckenzie-orr]

Yeah i never took the pills as its a mask it covers up the problems and feelings i do take valium every now and then when things get out of control and need to bring myself down but i havent touched the sertaline in the cuboard, I hope and pray i can do it because i hate it :)

[ricardo]

At the moment Ricardo I feel like I'm probably a lemon :)

I've just called a No Panic helpline in the UK and they said "do CBT" I explained the waiting etc and that by the time it comes round the worst of it has subsided and the guy on the phone said "well you need to stop taking your medication" WHAT!!!!!! Seriously why would you say that, he said it's not good doing CBT whilst on meds so you need to not take it so you can have the CBT effectively.

I pointed out that I basically can't function without it at the moment and even on it I'm not functioning and he said well in that case keep taking it then stop it about a week before your first CBT appt, I have to say I found that a bit worrying and probably not good advice seeing as it would be the complete opposite advice to what my GP would give me!


According to many therapists you can take medication as well as doing CBT at the same time and if it is endorsed by a Canadian site, well what more can I say :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

Munchlet,

That person should be reported for their conduct. That's disgraceful!

Medication alongside therapy is not only am accepted method but specifically recommended in NICE guidelines. Whoever that was needs retaining or better yet, booting out of that office and never allowed back. They were completely wrong, please ignore them.

Your therapist was very poor. She provided no structure to yourexposure, no support on how to get through it, etc. Then she discharged you on a whim. Don't allow that to cloud the situation, you don't need to be at your worst to have CBT. Therapists treat people on meds all the time.

CBT is the most researched form of therapy there is. It's recognised as having the highest success rates for treatment of anxiety disorders of any therapy.

EDIT: If that's No Panic the charity, then that person should be trained. I would report that.

---------- Post added at 11:44 ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 ----------


According to many therapists you can take medication as well as doing CBT at the same time and if it is endorsed by a Canadian site, well what more can I say :)

Nope, the NHS & NICE over here. I'm sure it will be endorsed by the Canadian healthcare system though like many other countries around the world :whistles:

[Munchlet]

Hi

Yes it was the No Panic Charity and I think I will report it. What concerned me was that I've been going through this long enough to know that just coming off medication is a very bad idea but if he had spoken to someone younger than me who perhaps wasn't used to dealing with their anxiety etc they might well just stop taking their meds and it could cause them a whole host of other problems. So yes I will report it. He also didn't seem to be interested I wouldn't really say it was a helpline, you could ask questions but he didn't really seem to want to put himself out. Probably just unlucky and got someone who didn't want to be working on a Sunday.

On a positive note I just spoke to Anxiety Alliance UK and the lady I spoke to was fantastic. I don't know if their details can be added anywhere on the site but I would strongly recommend them.

I just called them in tears spoke to a lovely lady who listened but then gave some really useful tips. Little things like eating a banana an hour before bed as she said your body needs energy to sleep and if you aren't eating much then that's why you aren't sleeping properly.

She also gave me breathing exercises and things I could do to get rid of that knot in the stomach feeling. Spoke to me about how mornings are the worse because the adrenaline kicks in and that's what increases the feelings, she said I need to try and eat within 15 minutes of waking even if it's something really small as it will help with all the panic/feelings.

In addition to feeling calmer for talking to her she said that if I get into a situation like last night with my husband to just ring them instead as they are trained to talk to people with anxiety and they can help us to manage anxiety attacks over the phone. Their helpline is 10-10 7 days a week so pretty much there when you need them.

I came off the phone and ate a Banana and actually feel a bit calmer so would really recommend them. They also do CBT courses over the phone, she did say there is a charge of about £30 for the whole course, but they don't tend to have much of a waiting list so I think I might look into it, honestly she helped me today more than she could ever know.

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's brilliant!

These charities are normally staffed by current or ex sufferers so you know you will get someone that understands, has been trained to speak to others to help them and cares about people suffering like this. I used to go to charity walk-in's at a local one for my city and they were excellent too.

That's why I was shocked to hear about the guy at No Panic, I didn't expect that sort of "can't be arsed" and potentially dangerous attitude. Like you say, someone new to this could take his advice seriously and it could go badly.

It's extra tough with how your husband is treating you so this sounds like some good support for you right now. As you get past the side effects and start recovering you will find the ability to self reassure and may need them less but it's got to feel good to know the support is there from someone who won't judge or become frustrated.

I eat a banana before bedtime and have ever since I came across that advice years ago. A little extra tryptophan in them too.

It might be worth seeing what else they have on their website too. The charities often have advice pages, exercises, downloads, etc.

We need more people like her.