View Full Version : Don't think I can take much more
So I'm on Day 11 of Fluoxetine and I honestly don't think I've ever felt so bad in my life.
I still have a cough which is worrying me stupid, I still have a lot of post nasal drip. Weird thing is I don't have it at night and it seems to ease off in the late afternoon. I also don't have it when I wake, I'm wondering could I be causing this with my anxiety only it only happens when I'm up and moving around?
I'm obsessing constantly that I have Leukemia, Multiple Myleoma, Kidney Cancer, to name but a few.
I can't sleep I wake at 5 most mornings if not before and can't go back to sleep. Eating is a struggle I don't fancy hardly anything and have to force myself to eat.
Yesterday I tried to go for a walk and I just felt weak, shaky, legs were jelly and I honestly thought I was about to have a panic attack at any minute.
Really not sure how much longer I can cope like this.
MyNameIsTerry
10-08-15, 07:44
I think there will be a lot of us on here who can remember that feeling very well. I'm one of them. I really struggled with both meds I have tried so far, Citalopram and Duloxetine. I wasn't prepared for the side effects by my GP with either but I knew when I started the Duloxetine (in my relapse) that is was very likely going to be very hard.
Truthfully, when I started the second stage dose (where it starts to interact with adrenaline) I had the worst 8-10 days of my life. My anxiety was far higher than it has ever been. I just kept telling myself each day that it could reduce any day now. The last 2 days I resorted to 1 2mg Diazepam early in the day as I just needed some respite from it.
Your med has a very long half life so it will likely take longer than mine to reach "steady-state" in your blood plasma. BUT that doesn't mean it could be hard going all the way as you may start adjusting to it as it keeps adjusting in your blood.
Right now, don't be analysing things because your current experience could be because of side effects and this could change soon. I know thats hard but you will look back on this and know this to be correct so try to just keep going and keep it in your mind that this is going to subside soon.
Honestly, I dread starting these meds but I just told myself that I can either stay as bad as I am or take a chance and put up with some worse weeks to then start seeing some light.
You could be half way or more through this now. Just take it day by day. Any day now it could reduce in intensity.
If it really does become too much, speak to your GP. But the reality is that these meds can do this in varying degrees so I believe that if you are this far through and can hold on, it's better to go that short distance than start again.
What have you done about seeing another therapist. That is where your answer lies munchlet. Regardless of whether the meds help calm your anxiety or make it worse they will not treat your underlying problems. The only thing that can help with that is counselling. Maybe you should stop taking the meds until you start your counselling.
---------- Post added at 19:35 ---------- Previous post was at 19:08 ----------
I don't want it to sound like I don't believe that medication can be helpful. I think that in conjunction with counselling it can be beneficial. I don't take anxiety meds but I briefly considered doing so when my anxiety was at its peak around 2 years ago. My psychiatrist told me that the meds would not treat my anxiety and the only way I would beat it was by learning to think differently. You remind me a bit of myself when I was at my worst. I think you are hoping the meds will cure you of your health anxiety but they won't. There are no meds that can do that. Only you can do it and you need a therapist to teach you how to do it. Do yourself a favour munchlet actively seek out counselling. Until you do you will continue to fear one dire illness after another as well as experiencing the symptoms of those illnesses. The meds may take the edge off but your conviction that you are dying, whilst hazier, will remain.
Ijust wanted to say i really empathise, you're going through allot. its really hard. It might be good to remember that some meds mimic the symptoms they're supposed to control during the settling in period, and some doctors aren't totally clear what the symptoms are going to be, before you start taking them, which can leave you surprised or unprepared.
When I first starting taking mirtazapine my anxiety really peaked, and then reduced as the drugs settled in- (I didnt have a good time with Mirtazapine buts that's a different story) so you might be just experiencing a peak- hang in there as mynameisterry said, you dont know when you might turn the corner- best of luck i really sympathise.
Thank you, I've got the GP ringing me at 3pm to see what they suggest. As the day goes on I do start to feel more positive and seem to be more rational about things but first thing in the morning it's like I'm having a panic attack for the first few hours, I'm retching, crying, shaking, my poor mum must be sick of me turning up on her doorstep every morning in tears.
I wanted to speak to the GP anyway about this cough as I'm getting myself so worked up about it and now I've got a blocked ear I just can't shake it off. Having said that the fact I've barely slept or eaten a decent meal in the last 3 weeks has probably contributed to it somewhat.
Swajj I spoke to Anxiety Alliance yesterday and they have someone ringing me in the next day or so about doing weekly CBT sessions over the phone, I'm not sure if they will be as effective as face to face but speaking to them on the phone yesterday was really helpful and there is not much of a waiting list for them so I figured if I could at least make a start with those and then I will speak to my GP about the CBT the NHS offer as well.
Will let you know what the GP says.
What have you done about seeing another therapist. That is where your answer lies munchlet. Regardless of whether the meds help calm your anxiety or make it worse they will not treat your underlying problems. The only thing that can help with that is counselling. Maybe you should stop taking the meds until you start your counselling.
---------- Post added at 19:35 ---------- Previous post was at 19:08 ----------
I don't want it to sound like I don't believe that medication can be helpful. I think that in conjunction with counselling it can be beneficial. I don't take anxiety meds but I briefly considered doing so when my anxiety was at its peak around 2 years ago. My psychiatrist told me that the meds would not treat my anxiety and the only way I would beat it was by learning to think differently. You remind me a bit of myself when I was at my worst. I think you are hoping the meds will cure you of your health anxiety but they won't. There are no meds that can do that. Only you can do it and you need a therapist to teach you how to do it. Do yourself a favour munchlet actively seek out counselling. Until you do you will continue to fear one dire illness after another as well as experiencing the symptoms of those illnesses. The meds may take the edge off but your conviction that you are dying, whilst hazier, will remain.
Therein lies the truth that so many people don't realise.
So GP has now prescribed Quetiapine which is an anti-psychotic drug.
He said it works well as an add on and he thinks it will take the edge of the Fluoxetine side effects, he also said it can be quite sedative so should help with the sleep.
He said I can take up to two a day if I need them but hopefully the side effects will calm down soon from Fluoxetine and I won't need them for long.
I also asked him about all my other symptoms, cough, blocked ear etc and said I was worrying about Leukemia etc he said it sounds like I've had a bout of mild sinusitis which can take weeks to clear up and to basically just keep doing what I'm doing and it will clear. He also said to add some menthol and eucalyptus steam inhalation in which will aid with clearing the mucus.
So I feel better for speaking to him but then again I normally feel brighter as the day goes on anyway but hopefully these tablets will take the edge off the major effects.
MyNameIsTerry
10-08-15, 22:31
The thing is if you read best practice guidelines they recommend therapy before meds. But we have the NHS a serious lack of therapists to follow these guidelines. This leaves GP's with a difficult decision over whether they go for the medication route early or leave you waiting months with nothing.
Another issue is cost. For some meds can give them enough respite to work through recovery in their own or with the support of charities. This all saves the NHS money.
GP surgeries can be bursting and they have a matter of minutes for you.
NICE guidelines are just not practical in the UK and won't be for many years so whilst therapy is the way forward, unless you pay for your own you will on a waiting list from months to even years in the worst areas. It's a false economy given the longer until you start, the more negative thinking styles you adopt but until the NHS catches up with its own guidelines this is the situation we have to battle through.
So medication to combat the effects of the other medication? Good on you for chasing up the counselling. Use the anxiety phone counselling service until you can see someone face to face. Ieverything symptom you have mentioned I have had. It all turned out to be nothing except anxiety. Yes I can see you thinking that your symptoms are probably different to the symptoms that I had therefore your cancer or whatever might be real. Your symptoms aren't different to what mine were and your cancers are no more real than my cancers were. Nor are any of the other terminal diseases you imagine you have. Next time you are focusing on a symptom or sensation tell yourself "last week I thought I had such and such and the week before it was such and such (keep going through the list of things you've thought you've had) and they all turned out to be nothing so what's the chances this is actually something serious? So I'm just going to assume this is nothing as well". I do this and for some reason it works really well. Give it a try.
So GP has now prescribed Quetiapine which is an anti-psychotic drug.
He said it works well as an add on and he thinks it will take the edge of the Fluoxetine side effects, he also said it can be quite sedative so should help with the sleep.
He said I can take up to two a day if I need them but hopefully the side effects will calm down soon from Fluoxetine and I won't need them for long.
I also asked him about all my other symptoms, cough, blocked ear etc and said I was worrying about Leukemia etc he said it sounds like I've had a bout of mild sinusitis which can take weeks to clear up and to basically just keep doing what I'm doing and it will clear. He also said to add some menthol and eucalyptus steam inhalation in which will aid with clearing the mucus.
So I feel better for speaking to him but then again I normally feel brighter as the day goes on anyway but hopefully these tablets will take the edge off the major effects.
i took quetiapine for a while it is a very good add on to an AD ,its brilliant if you arent getting any sleep as it knocks you out
it should work almost instantly
good luck
I am thinking that Swajj what I'm also trying to do is think that the reason I think I have these cancers is because I'm hyper vigilant for any symptoms. So anytime anything happens with my body rather than just thinking it might be caused by anxiety or I might be actually making myself feel ill through worry/stress I'm straight away thinking "oh that's a symptom of whatever cancer so that must be it".
So I'm trying to challenge the thoughts a bit more and I'm going to ring AnxietyAlliance again tomorrow and see if there's any news on the CBT.
Thanks MrAndy I did take one this morning when I felt anxious and sure enough about an hour later I felt really spaced out and then I just slept for 2 hours. So they certainly knocked me out.
Mind you I think I needed it as I have been really short on sleep lately.
Unfortunately what my therapist told me is proving to be true...meds alone won't help you. You have to choose to be happy, to enjoy life, to stop Googling and rechecking symptoms. Meds can help you with that, but it's still up to you to put in effort or you won't get better.
I think most who take quetiapine take it at bedtime? With health anxiety, you really must tell it that all the myriad "symptoms" are simply side effects. A blessed few don't really notice any, but the rest of us DO have them for some weeks, some push off after a few days, and there are work-a rounds. These are some of the most common:
Nausea/lack of appetite
If nausea or lack of appetite strikes, taking a few good old soda crackers and sipping ginger ale, or else nibbling ginger biscuits and sipping tea helps. Snacking is necessary to keep eating established. Build to small healthy meals and try to eat at least the crackers or biscuits every three hours, or in between. You must get something down to combat nausea. If you are dizzy as well, a travel-sickness tablet can help with both. Some even come as fizzy tabs that dissolve and don't need water to swallow. I don't recommend the "natural" ones. Sorry, but I just don't find them effective. :( In North America, our good ones are Gravol and Dramamine. I tend to take them after the crackers and ginger ale, and lie down (they do make one drowsy). And there's nothing wrong with just eating what you feel like, even if it isn't particularly stellar on the nutrition front, for a few days, although many do find fresh fruit easy to manage.
Lightheadedness, brain fog, visual anomalies ("snow") and other sense-oriented s/e:
These are all normal with startup and dosing changes to our particular kinds of meds. Don't plan anything that requires a lot of energy for a few weeks. I felt better sitting than lying down or walking about, so I would sit and relax with a movie, or come on here and read up on my med and learn about what to expect. Knowing what was normal, and also how many people had benefitted in the long run, was what kept me going in the early days.
Body twitches, tensing of muscles especially in the abdomen (muscle tonus, as it's called):
These felt like tummy butterflies on steroids, lol! I immediately thought, aha, THIS is why people conclude that their meds are making them anxious. For me, I confess, this lasted about four weeks, but I learned to ease it with long slow deep breaths with a good audible exhale! Jelly legs happened a good deal too, and there's really nothing for that besides getting off your feet, I found.
Tension in the head, odd brain sensations, headaches:
All normal, and when you think that these drugs are meant to adjust serotonin and more, in our brains, after all, then this only makes sense to be happening for a bit.
I think you have really got to be firm with yourself now and internalize and accept as best you can that these "symptoms" you have are simply side effects, nothing more. They will pass in time, and absolutely do not indicate anything serious. Or else get off the meds altogether. There will be none that don't come with a packet of s/e to be got through if they are to help. It doesn't seem you have given anything long enough to settle in properly and start to work. But if you can't make the commitment to give it a fair trial (6-8 weeks at least), then I think you are best to stay away from them. It isn't good to keep withdrawing and switching, eventually down the road if this is done regularly, it will be that much longer for you to feel normal even once off them all.
Good luck right now, I have heard good things from others about your current meds, especially the quetiapine. You may want to take it at night for best benefit, sleep and all.
Marie :bighug1:
Thanks Marie for your post it does help when you see in black and white all the side effects the meds cause.
I know I have to grin and bear it now, I said as much to my GP yesterday it's just when you feel so low you just want to wake up and be normal.
Having said that I know it won't happen overnight and I also know it won't happen just through medication it has to be a concerted effort on my part to try and stop this cycle I'm in and to work on my Health Anxiety otherwise it's just going to keep happening.
I think it's worse this time because as well as having the side effects from the meds I've had this horrible cough/pnd that is taking forever to shift so in a way it's like I have symptoms which in my current state of Health Anxiety just confirms my fears.
But I have spoken to 3 doctors about my symptoms and none of them have been the slightest bit concerned and said it's just a viral infection which has left me with mild sinusitis and it will take a while to completely go.
So I think it's time for me to start accepting what they have said and just focus on trying to sort myself out.
That's a great attitude to have, Munchlet. You know that fundamentally you have to believe what you are being told in order to start getting some control over your HA and to carry on believing when the HA is testing you with symptoms. And it will carry on throwing out those symptoms which you can acknowledge but ultimately dismiss as being harmless.
MyNameIsTerry
11-08-15, 22:47
Yeah, medication never makes anyone recover, whether you realise it or not you do all the work to recover. Meds just try to calm things down and/or increase feel good chemicals that you are going to be low in.
I agree completely with swajj on that, its just that there are some realities to contend with in the UK and putting someone on some if the mainstream meds for years is cheaper than a course of therapy and can get us out of the survey quicker. I didn't know anything the first time, couldn't access any therapy and relied on my GP. I did recover to a certain point but I also adopted some unhealthy thinking styles that I didn't realise and relapse occurred when that got out of control again. Therapy & knowledge is vital.
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