Cbt 3rd meeting

[tmckenzie-orr]

I have had my 3rd meeting today which was basically a assement, The guy said i musnt ask reasurance from my mrs or anybody, and said its not healthy to be on a health anxiety forum , i said i do find it helps my anxiety though being on the forum and he said in the short term its helping but long term its not , So you need to stop posting on the forum , LoL, :( :( :( haha

[Justanutter]

So basically, be on your own with it all and wait for your weekly CBT wonder class? These people need a reality check or walk a day in our shoes....

[ricardo]

I wonder why he said that or even asked ? (being on a health anxiety forum)
Half the battle in any therapy is getting on with the therapist as you are basically divulging very private info to a complete stranger,regardless of their qualifications.

Do you like this guy as you obviously aren't doing what he suggested.:)

If I don't see you again, all the very best.

[Fishmanpa]

I have had my 3rd meeting today which was basically a assement, The guy said i musnt ask reasurance from my mrs or anybody, and said its not healthy to be on a health anxiety forum , i said i do find it helps my anxiety though being on the forum and he said in the short term its helping but long term its not , So you need to stop posting on the forum , LoL, :( :( :( haha

I've said so much many times. It's cathartic to write out your fears and feelings and there's a certain amount of comfort knowing you're not alone but it also feeds the dragon.



So basically, be on your own with it all and wait for your weekly CBT wonder class? These people need a reality check or walk a day in our shoes....

Basically yes... The week or so away from a forum seeking reassurance in the short term will help you in the long term. The times you are struggling and using the techniques you're being taught are much more beneficial than seeking reassurance.

Does an oncologist have to be a survivor to treat cancer? Same point applies. "Those people" deal with people who are struggling with these issues on a daily basis and have been doing so for years.

Positive thoughts

[tmckenzie-orr]

Im gonna Try and not seek reasurance and post about myself, but i want to stay on here i think it helps even replyin to people and helping others with there anxietys, I really enjoying speakin to you guys on here and by pm, xxxxxxxxx

[yenool]

The forum will always be here in a couple of weeks. Why not take a week off and see if it does help? Worse case scenario is that you see no improvement and start posting again in a week.

[tmckenzie-orr]

nah i think ill just try and not post anything to seek reasurance with, but will continue to post as it does help by helping people ,

[Fishmanpa]

nah i think ill just try and not post anything to seek reasurance with, but will continue to post as it does help by helping people ,

Regardless of your motives, you're doing something completely counter to what a trained mental health professional is advising.

I agree with yenool in taking a break. Being here and reading others posts (aside from responding) is still reassurance seeking behavior. Those that seek the healing path are told the same thing. That's why you no longer see them on the boards.

Positive thoughts

[ricardo]

Is one week of not coming on here really going to make a difference ?

I respect you Fishmanpa but when you say "Those that seek the healing path are told the same thing. That's why you no longer see them on the boards" does that imply they are cured or on the way to recovery, and if so wouldn't it be beneficial to hear from them to encourage others, rather than just vanish..

[tmckenzie-orr]

its a hard one it really is as i do enjoy speaking to you guys , But at same time i want to do what he says i just want to be better i really do, Is that not a good enough compramise not to post reasurance posts on here? im in a confused moment lol

[natalie yog]

I'd find it really hard not to be able to discuss my anxieties on this forum but then again I think that in the end the counsellor really wants to help you and has helped countless of sufferers. So maybe (even though trust me I'd find it really hard and you really have helped me a lot) you should see how you'd go taking his advice and like you said give it a week.

[Fishmanpa]

Is one week of not coming on here really going to make a difference ?

I respect you Fishmanpa but when you say "Those that seek the healing path are told the same thing. That's why you no longer see them on the boards" does that imply they are cured or on the way to recovery, and if so wouldn't it be beneficial to hear from them to encourage others, rather than just vanish..

Ricardo,

It's not an implication they are cured. And for the record, I don't like the word "cured". "Cured" means and implies there are no symptoms nor residual effects. It's not like a cold where it completely and utterly goes away. One cannot go through such a traumatic experience without some long term effects. I like the word "healed". Like my cancer and heart issues, I am not "cured". There are residuals both physical and mental. The key is to recognize and learn from the experience as well as how to deal with it in a constructive and positive manner.

Yes, it would be beneficial if some found the healing path and came back or stayed but the reality is, you learn how to deal with it and move on. Again, I equate it to my cancer. I was a frequent visitor to the cancer forums and now I rarely if ever log on. It's just too painful and triggers my "scanxiety".

Will one week make a difference? Maybe, maybe not, but one cannot know unless they try.

Positive thoughts

[pulisa]

I think that there are a lot of triggers on the HA board for people who are struggling with their HA, eg seeing posts which seek advice for particular symptoms and then thinking that you get these symptoms as well so what if....Adding fuel to the fire ,so to speak.

The potential is always there for new anxieties to develop even if you're no longer seeking reassurance for the original problem/s.

[tmckenzie-orr]

i admit sometimes it can trigger my anxiety but then it depends how my mind set is, its so so hard , i dont really want to leave the forum, but i need to get better lol

---------- Post added at 17:00 ---------- Previous post was at 16:59 ----------

And now im a intermediate member with over 400 posts lol , wow

[MyNameIsTerry]

If reassurance seeking is a safety behaviour (or a compulsion in OCD) then it will be vital to tackle that at some point in your recovery.

BUT lets remember that there are many charities running forums and meet up groups all over the place and therapists encourage the use of these. However, these groups are coordinated by people who have trained to do so and my experience of them is that you won't see most of what is discussed on NMP because it's against their policies. People raise their worries and they won't be allowed to dwell on them because the coordinators will steer it in the direction of healthy thinking about their problems to make it more solution-focussed.

Thats a big problem with online forums, but not all of them. NMP is a forum that runs in the background with very little intervention from admin's. Other forums can have topics being discussed that are solution-focussed and thought provoking as opposed to being all about problems. This is where it is wrong on NMP but thats not because they probably don't want that but more because it's a very small group of people keeping it afloat without the cash behind them.

A load of people left here for CPE's Facebook group because it was set up to be solution-focussed. That doesn't mean they are recovered but that they are committing to cutting out reassurance seeking and endless trawling over threads about issues...which is counterproductive.

So, from a therapists point of view, a HA forum is full of threads of people raising irrational beliefs about very detailed medical problems. Most of the detail in these threads would have been stopped at the charity I went to and they wouldn't allow much discussion about medication either. He/she might have a very bad impression of forums because of the constant issues and lack of positive posting.

Writing about problems is healthy but a therapist is more inclined to advise use of a journal or record sheets like Thought Records because they are geared towards you & your issues and you won't be drawn into other peoples.

BUT a therapist saying stop seeking reassurance is not a targetted strategy at all. It is one likely to fail if it too big for the patient/client. Otherwise you can add in "go out more" to housebound agoraphobics or "stop touching stuff" for some of us OCD people.

If you can do it because your anxiety is mild enough then it's worth a try but if it is not then it's the role of the therapist to get you to that point using strategies such as ERP.

Simply logging off NMP can be useful or it can be a waste of time. If you use that time seeking reassurance through other means, it's no use. If you learn to sit it out without seeking reassurance and your anxiety reduces by the 50% minimum ERP requires, it's been a successful exercise.

A therapist may even be trying a Behavioural Experiment by asking someone to do this.

So, have a chat about it. If it's not possible, they need to help you come up with a plan to achieve it e.g. cutting it down or maybe even being on here but avoiding negative issue boards like HA & Symptoms in favour of the positive ones (that a lot of people don't seem to even bother with)

Later on in therapy, you may even be asked to start reading these threads again. It's a misconception that you need to avoid places like NMP and that will only keep the belief that you cannot confront your fears alive (it would be a reinforcement). BUT initially a therapist may remove a stimulus to retrain your thinking and then test it by engaging with it. However, avoiding triggering situations is not a good way to recovery and a therapist won't want that long term.

If people don't come back to these places because they are recovered and getting on with their life, thats great. If they don't come back because they are triggering, how is that recovery when avoidance is the wrong thing to do? You need to be able to read a newspaper, watch the news (or medical drama's), talk to people about health issues, or yes even read threads on here, but all without anxiety or with the ability to feel it and deal with it quickly without triggering.

If thats wrong, I need to start avoiding all those objects I kept touching or anything I used to check. It will mean never flushing a toilet again though! :ohmy::D

Why not make it a Behavioural Experiment? Get a BE worksheet and set a number of days to log off. Record how it made you feel and talk to your therapist.

It's all well and good to say don't ask your wife but thats a partial approach so your therapist could ask you to get your wife to not engage with you when you seek it so you have to learn to cope on your own. Your wife could divert the conversation. You could get out a Thought Record and try to challenge it.

So, is this really a strategy your therapist wants? Or is it part of therapeutic outcome? It's needed, but just saying to do it is not therapy as we already know that - it's the structure to achieve it that you need a therapist for.

Many of those people who recover go on to work in this sector or volunteer for charities, staff helplines, run meetings, set their own charities up, etc. Some people just go back to their old lives. Some people pursue a new life they want. But not everyone leaves, the charities & ex sufferer therapists & counsellors are proof of that. They had to face their triggers to do what they do, so it is possible.

[tmckenzie-orr]

As of todAy on a trial basis I am going to limit myself to 1 day a week on a Sunday to visit the site and see how I get on I won't allow myself to visit the site
I will reply to pm's if anybody needs a chat, but banning myself from the health anxiety forum and will only visit on the Sunday sounds like a ok plan of action I will see if it helps or not I do find a good way of helping my anxiety is by helping others and talking to people on here we are all going through the same thing, but I will attempt to give this a trial

---------- Post added at 08:19 ---------- Previous post was at 08:09 ----------

Also I have to add I am only going to visit on the Sunday for replying to people on there threads I am going to try with all my might not to ask for reassurance myself hopefully I can manage it

[swajj]

No offence, but you are here a lot and you seem to have a new health anxiety every other day. So is the board detrimental to your mental health? From my perspective as a non-professional the answer is yes. The way I see it is if the board helped you then you would be here less often not more often. Also as pulisa pointed out there are triggers here. So while you are waiting for people to comment on your threads you are probably reading many other threads and with that reading about many other illnesses. But my perspective is irrelevant. The trained mental health professional is the person you should be listening to. There are no trained mental health professionals here. And even if there are they are hardly in a position to offer you counselling.

[ricardo]

I think that there are a lot of triggers on the HA board for people who are struggling with their HA, eg seeing posts which seek advice for particular symptoms and then thinking that you get these symptoms as well so what if....Adding fuel to the fire ,so to speak.

The potential is always there for new anxieties to develop even if you're no longer seeking reassurance for the original problem/s.


I think there far too many triggers,layers etc on the HA board which confuse people more than help.Of course this is just my opinion.

---------- Post added at 09:35 ---------- Previous post was at 09:29 ----------

I don't think this is a discussion as to how forums should be run including NMP. Not for the first time a thread has dissected into various branches and the OP's original post has turned into a debate about should one post or not whilst being treated.

[Fishmanpa]

As of todAy on a trial basis I am going to limit myself to 1 day a week on a Sunday to visit the site and see how I get on I won't allow myself to visit the site
I will reply to pm's if anybody needs a chat, but banning myself from the health anxiety forum and will only visit on the Sunday sounds like a ok plan of action I will see if it helps or not I do find a good way of helping my anxiety is by helping others and talking to people on here we are all going through the same thing, but I will attempt to give this a trial

---------- Post added at 08:19 ---------- Previous post was at 08:09 ----------

Also I have to add I am only going to visit on the Sunday for replying to people on there threads I am going to try with all my might not to ask for reassurance myself hopefully I can manage it

Good for you! Keep in mind, we can see if you logged in :shades:

Positive thoughts

[pulisa]

That's almost like going cold turkey! It's a big challenge but I'm sure it will pay off.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good luck, Tony. Record your thoughts & feelings about it and show your therapist as it will help them understand your needs and show your progress.

Ricardo - why did you ask FMP then? He obliged by answering :shrug: people may then have opinions they wish to discuss.

---------- Post added at 23:34 ---------- Previous post was at 22:52 ----------

Tony, a separate but related question would be about alcohol. You've mentioned a few times how it affects you with your tongue. Do you think it would be wise to cut this down or out while you do this? (It may be beneficial to stop regardless)