lottie59
10-08-15, 15:34
hey I've been lurking hear for a while and I have posted maybe twice about my HA.
I like many others have irrational fear of the big C (I have "had" colon cancer, breast cancer, lukimea and cervical cancer) and I thought I had it under control! obviously not as although my anxiety symptoms lessened I still was checking my body everyday and examining the tiniest of details letting all the fears goes through my head until yesterday!
Yesterday I felt as though I was back at day 1, yesterday I was convinced that I found a patch of skin cancer on my neck (it may be, it may be not- im seeing my GP on Thursday so Ill get her to look) With the fear came the dreaded reactions- I spent all day sobbing and panicking, I couldn't breathe, I felt low, I closed all curtains in my house and hid away convinced that I wouldn't wake up this morning. last night in bed I suffered the sleepless night and finally when fell asleep I woke drenched in cold sweat!
I am taking 50mg of sertraline and my appointment with the gp on Thursday is about starting therapy/cbt which I am trying to stay positive about but I cant help fearing that I will never get out of this dark hole- I don't even know how I fell in it to begin with? why me? what did I do to feel like this? it is truly ruining my life, the fear of dying and getting ill by Cancer has taken over my life and I don't know how I can ever get better?
I must stress that I am currently waiting for an appointment for colonoscopy as my sister is currently fighting stage 3 colon cancer but actually my fear of that is no where near as deepened as the fear that I currently think I have skin cancer.
I don't want negatives hear, I just want experience as to why we fall into this anxiety pit and how we climb out of it successfully because wright now im struggling to see light
Thanks:blush:
I like many others have irrational fear of the big C (I have "had" colon cancer, breast cancer, lukimea and cervical cancer) and I thought I had it under control! obviously not as although my anxiety symptoms lessened I still was checking my body everyday and examining the tiniest of details letting all the fears goes through my head until yesterday!
Yesterday I felt as though I was back at day 1, yesterday I was convinced that I found a patch of skin cancer on my neck (it may be, it may be not- im seeing my GP on Thursday so Ill get her to look) With the fear came the dreaded reactions- I spent all day sobbing and panicking, I couldn't breathe, I felt low, I closed all curtains in my house and hid away convinced that I wouldn't wake up this morning. last night in bed I suffered the sleepless night and finally when fell asleep I woke drenched in cold sweat!
I am taking 50mg of sertraline and my appointment with the gp on Thursday is about starting therapy/cbt which I am trying to stay positive about but I cant help fearing that I will never get out of this dark hole- I don't even know how I fell in it to begin with? why me? what did I do to feel like this? it is truly ruining my life, the fear of dying and getting ill by Cancer has taken over my life and I don't know how I can ever get better?
I must stress that I am currently waiting for an appointment for colonoscopy as my sister is currently fighting stage 3 colon cancer but actually my fear of that is no where near as deepened as the fear that I currently think I have skin cancer.
I don't want negatives hear, I just want experience as to why we fall into this anxiety pit and how we climb out of it successfully because wright now im struggling to see light
Thanks:blush: