PDA

View Full Version : does this sound like Pure O?or anxiety?



Filthy1
06-02-07, 12:38
hi there,
a little background hisdtory of me. when i was like 13 i started having panic attacks `and had really similar thoughts to what alot of you guys have described, such as being a peadophle, murderer, incestuous blah blah blah. well i didnt know what this was until a few days ago when someone on another forum told me it could be Pure O. so i researched it and it sounds like that is what it was.
I thought i got over all my panic attacks until recently. (this is what i posted on another board)...
" i got an anxiety attack when my boyfriend told me he loved me. this was after we fell so hard in love with each other and i had to hold myself back from telling him i loved him, i wanted to shout it out so loud that i could explode! and i was SO happy with him, like something i never knew existed. Then out of the blue this attack happened. and now i get all these thoughts like "you dont love him enough" or "you dont love him" or "your just kidding yourself" and then i get anxious when he tells me sweet things and when he says i love you and when i tell him i love him.
I know i love him because he makes me so so so happy and those feelings that i felt before were real and dont just go. our relationship is so good and there are no arguments and he is perfect so why did i get these attacks? "
Now the anxiety has seemed to lessen but i still get these intrusive thoughts like "you dont love him as much as he loves you, youre a liar, you dont miss him, your angry at him which means you dont love him, your going to cheat on him, you dont think he's good looking, you faking everything you do with him" whcih is all totally wrong because i love every minute i spend with him. and i love him to death!

but now ive got laods of triggers which set this off like hearing love songs ont he radio, being told he loves me, looking at him sometimes, if i tell him or think i love him. it seems to ebb and flow daily and is never far from my mind.
I wake up thinking abot it, go to sleep thinkinga bout it and as a result miss out on feeling all the feelings i have for him.

can anyone relate? has anyone expericenced anything similar?

this hurts so much because i love him and i feel like im becoming worse and worse girlfriend to have, becomingneedy and not so fun loving.