breakup

[wildflower]

Me and my boyfriend broke up last night and I'm really not handling things very well. We were together only 6 months, but I fell for him pretty hard. When I was dealing with depression he'd talk me through things and always make me feel better. Whenever I had a panic attack he'd sit and hold me tight till it went away. I could be open and talk to him about all this stuff, which is something I've never done before. I really felt like I achieved some big steps (for me) while I was with him. I caught the train on several occasions to go visit him - he lived a couple of hours away. This was the first time I'd travelled away from my town alone in the last 10 years. I even got brave enough to go on holiday with him.

I know your supposed to feel bad after a breakup, but I think all my anxiety and depression stuff is just making me feel 10 times worse. I go from not being able to stop crying and feeling likes theres no hope for anything, to feeling happier and more optimistic, all in the space of a few minutes. And it keeps going around and around like that. I haven't slept last night and I can't eat anything.

I don't mean to feel sorry for myself, I just miss him so much already.

[manmoor]

Hello Wildflower,

Big hugs for you today hun. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) xxx

"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."

[yorkylover]

*******BIG HUG********for you pet.

Ellen XX

[seeker]

I went through this too - it's pants!! I think what you have to remember is that YOU[^] have the ability to cam down and do things. YOU did them, not yuor ex. Although he helped you feel relaxed and calm, ultimately it was YOU that calmed yourself down and got on the train and things. You need to keep pushing yourself to do small things and remind yourself constantly that you had a life before you met him, and you will have one again! He helped you see that you CAN do things - you need to put these onto a repeat player in your head!! Don't forget that it is perfectly normal to feel upset. your appetite will return and you will gradually feel calmer more often than not. Then one day, you will think 'Oh I haven't thought about him'. Try eating soups and smoothies - lots of nutrition, without having to actually eat!

[kilvosa]

BIG HUGS to you hope youre feeling better .
Take care
Annexx

[sarah1984]

Hi Wildflower,
Sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time at the moment-we all know how painful it can be to split up with someone you really care about. You say that you don't think you're handling things very well but hang on a minute, it's only 2 days since the break up, you're allowed to feel upset! There's no right way of dealing with your grief, so if you feel frightened and tearful, let it all out instead of bottling it up. I hope you don't mind me saying but it seems that subconsciously or not, your bf acted as a prop, helping you cope better with your anxieties-you said you managed to get the train to see him and go on holiday for the first time in ages. Now he's no longer around, it seems a daunting prospect facing your fears alone, but I'm sure you have the strength to deal with this, and will come out a far stronger person than when you were relying on someone else to comfort you.
Take Care and although you many not believe it at the moment, with time, the pain will heal,
Sarah x

[wildflower]

Hey guys,

Just wanted to say a big thank you for all your kind words, support, comments and hugs. The magnified depression and worries seem to have lifted and I'm feeling and handling things much better now :)

I'm still missing him lots, but I've started looking forward to a time in the future when I can give all my love to somebody that will love and appreciate me more.

I think at times I did use him too much as a prop, although in terms of my recovery, it was a very early and baby steps stage for me, and I kinda needed that prop there to get me started. I'm am however, now I've made that start, going to try and keep building on that and helping and relying on myself more.

Thanks again :) xx