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[Jacsta]

Hi all

It certainly has been a while (for me) since I have been here.

I apologise for disappearing but I have had a lot going on in life. Worst Year Ever to put it mildly.

A lot has changed so thought I would post an update...hopefully some of my friends are still around.

So, pretty much a year ago I became acutely unwell with my depression. I was in and out of psych wards and A & E for overdoses until February. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

My breakdown destroyed me, I started again from scratch. I ended my marriage after having an affair. I haven't been fair on my husband at all. He gave his all to me and my health. Completely devoted. But to be honest I think I settled when I got with him....so it was always going to end....an I hope we will both be better off for it...I have been so far.

So yes I had an affair....something that haunts me. The only positive from it is the fact I fell completely in love. And I am still with the man in question....he has been amazing. Yes we have had ups and downs....I am still quite unstable so he has put up with a lot.

I was homeless from March to May.....and to be honest I am only just settled in my new flat hence me not being around.

I have taken a career break for a year.

I am awaiting therapy....apparently 6 month wait from now.

I am actually trying to resolve my demons rather than bottle them up.

I still have my terrible days.....but now I do actually have OK days....which is a miracle.

Hopefully I can start to rekindle relationships that I abandoned when I had given up on the world...

Jac

[ricardo]

Quite a lot has happened, would be an understatement,Jac and it's brave of you to be so honest. Hopefully you can move forward given time.

I enjoyed our frequent chats :)Nice to see you back.

[Elen]

Hey Hun wb maybe see you in chat for a catch up

[sophieunderscore]

Lovely to see you back hun, you've been through a hell of a lot... but so glad you're still with us, big hugs x

[swgrl09]

Hey good to hear from you and wow, what a year. Onwards and upwards right? Are you waiting for cbt? One therapy that is really proven to help borderline personality disorder is dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) if that's available to you. It might be worth looking into.

[bluesparkle]

Hey jac :-)

Really good to hear from you
I'm not on here often but still around on f/b.

Rach

[Moley]

sorry to hear that u have been thru so much glad things seem to be looking up for u.
its nice to see u back

[Jacsta]

Thanks all.

I am awaiting mentalisation behavioural therapy....a newer different variation of dbt I think...apparently that's another 6 months.

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome back Jac! :) It sounds like you've had a tough year but hopefully you will come through this stronger.

[AnxietyDJ]

Jacs! Through the ups and downs, the bad and the good, you are, and always will be, a wonderful person. Think it is safe to say that a lot of people here have had the pleasure of calling you their friend and I for one hope I can continue to do so for a long time to come.

Just. Keep. Swimming.

[fallingstar]

Hey, Jacsta!

:welcome:back!

Glad to hear about all of the positives and glad to hear that you have someone who is there for you and that you fell in love! That is wonderful!! You seem like a really nice person and even though you may not think so possibly, it sounds like you are a very strong person at that. :yahoo:
Thanks for the nice update. How is your new place? Got a new place myself recently. Will see you around on the site! Have a nice weekend!

[venusbluejeans]

Heya Cheesus,

Sorry just seen this as I have been away.

Good to see you back again, you are one tough cookie and I a proud to call you my friend.

You know where we are if you need a chat about things at all..

We have missed you

Emmz xxxxx

[Jacsta]

Thanks again all.

My new place is getting more homely. Getting carpets soon which will make it more so.

Coming off medication atm (because it does nowt), so that is a hard slog...I feel like a drug addict....and may be acting like one too soon ;)

I don't get online as much, because I try not to sit, and dwell....which is a shame as I miss catching up with you all, rest assured I will catch you all at some point.

Proper recovery is hard work...but I am trying...truly trying...so hopefully I will come through the other side.

Love and hugs to all