Mum of a sufferer

[stephaniejane66]

Hi, just wanting to introduce myself. I'm a Mum to a 23 year old son who suffers with anxiety/panic disorder and in particular a phobia of dying. Yesterday my son had an ECG which showed an abnormality. His GP has ordered blood tests and to go on an event monitor. He is now convinced he has Long QT syndrome and is going to die in his sleep. All we seem to do these days is argue because he says Im not listening to him and I don't understand. How can I understand a fear I don't have. He is at university. Just finished his first year. He has his whole future ahead of him yet every day obsesses about germs, health issue and death. What can I do?

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya stephaniejane66 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[sial72]

I don't think there is really that much that you can do other than support him in whatever he does.
Has he had therapy? Medication?
As a Mum I know how heartbreaking it is to see our kids suffer xx

[pulisa]

Welcome to NMP. Maybe you could have a read of the Health Anxiety and OCD sections just to get a bit more understanding of these conditions? It must be very hard to watch your son suffering when you feel so frustrated that you can't help him?

[stephaniejane66]

I don't think there is really that much that you can do other than support him in whatever he does.
Has he had therapy? Medication?
As a Mum I know how heartbreaking it is to see our kids suffer xx

Thank you for your kind words. He isn't on medication. He is having CBT which doesn't seem to be working as quickly as I had hoped but we remain positive that it will. He has good days and bad days. Today he sitting an exam. He wasn't very good this morning and after an arduous train journey made it there in a better frame of mind. We take each day as it comes.

[pulisa]

I think it's very sensible to take a day at a time. Too much planning ahead can be very stressful. I hope that the exam went as well as possible for your son-this must have been a very challenging day for him and you.

[stephaniejane66]

The exam went better than he expected. He said for the whole two hours he was able to concentrate and he didn't notice his heart beating weirdly or had any anxiety. The minute he left the room though it started again.

[sial72]

It's really is amazing how the mind works.
I would suggest Claire Weekes books or audio download, you can find them on Amazon, these were very helpful for me x

[white1989]

Hello Stephanie,
(apologies for the long post)
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I have suffered with intense anxiety problems for nearly 2 years, and wanted to share how it affected my relationship with my family. My parents really had no idea how to react to my problems at first, as initially I was really concerned that I had a heart problem so had a lot of doctors appointments and tests, which obviously caused them intense concern. these all came back normal which was reassuring for them, but they still couldn't come to terms with the fact that I suffered with a mental health condition as I think they felt slightly helpless. My advise would be to tell your son, maybe through a text message or a letter, that you are there for him no matter what, he can talk to you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, whenever he needs to. Let him know that you want to be involved in his treatment (if he is getting any) and after his CBT sessions ask him how it was, if he found it helpful etc, but accept that sometimes he might just not want to talk and let him be left to his own devices. I personally acted very up and down with my parents, if I was having a good day I would be their best friend but on a bad day I would speak to them like absolute s**t, I'm very stubborn naturally so would never apologise and would tell them they were totally unsupportive and had no idea what I was going through! Now I can see that it was actually the opposite, my parents would do absolutely anything for me and just felt completely clueless in how to help, but they simply didn't know how to approach me as my moods were so erratic. I think the most important thing here is patience, patience is a virtue with an anxiety sufferer and accepting your son might be your best friend one day but your worst enemy the next, and letting him know that this is ok, and that you're there whenever he needs, is the best you can do.

Good luck and I hope things start to improve soon, I know from the way I've treated my parents as a result of my anxiety that being a parent to an anxiety sufferer must be one of the hardest things in the world, and now I can tell my parents that they did an amazing job, and I'm sure your son will eventually thank you for being amazing too!
Take care x