friendly replies needed

[cassie1975]

Hi, I have been away from here such a long time but today anxiety reared it's ugly head. I was sat eating my breakfast, when I had a negative thought. A few years ago my husband and his friend knocked Artex off the chimney breastfeeding in our old house. We didn't know about the asbestos danger at the time. My issue is 1. I don't know if we have exposed our daughter to it. She was a toddler at the time. Or if there was any asbestos in it? I have had quite a large panic attack and unsure whether or not I should get us all checked out. I am not sure how I would cope if I had exposed my daughter x any friendly replies welcome. Please do not reply with nightmare stories please I am not sure.my nerves could cope

[Fishmanpa]

Well... a couple things stand out. Most notably is that you don't even know if there was any asbestos and it was a few years ago. At this point it's a mute point. Regardless, I can't imagine her being exposed to it. It's not like your daughter was out playing in the construction dust and debris.

It appears your mind is grasping at something to worry about and this is just not anything you can reasonably hold onto. This is a immeasurable "What If" tbh.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think with this issue information is useful and if you read about it on NHS Choices it will tell you how breathing in asbestos fibres doesn't mean you will develop anything. Some people worked with it for years and still didn't develop anything.

The worst asbestos was always used in commercial buildings (blue and I think brown was the other one) but in residential properties they used white which is known to be the least potentially dangerous by far.

It was never removed from all buildings in the UK so you can still come across it hence it's worth reading the HSE information about it before doing work but they did take it out of many houses such as council houses. You still come across it from time to time on electricity supplies on the distribution boards but I can tell you that is pretty rare now from experience of monitoring incoming data for 12 months daily for a major UK supplier.

There is a good chance it was not there when they did the work. They would probably have realised when they did it if it was.

Use NHS Choices to read about this because they give you the reality not the scare stories that are found on forums about it. NHS Choices make a point of stating that it is continued exposure where there are risks. Your GP could also explain it if needed.

[puzzledlass]

From what I understood the main concern was those who were constantly working with asbestos back in the day before it was known to be a danger. Builders constantly ingesting etc.

I've lived in houses with asbestos, not bothered to be honest. And that's a fellow HA sufferer speaking!

[cassie1975]

Sorry for the late reply. Internet playing up. My issue is my husband and friend were not builders and non of them knew the dangers. I only knew the dangers after it was removed (a few years). I have not slept for two nights due to panic attacks and guilt. My worry is, if I have unknowingly exposed my daughter to the asbestos what her outcome could be. She is the centre of my life and not sure how I could cope with that. I cant look it up on the internet as I am scared. I am struggling with the negative thoughts I am having and constantly shaking due to panic. I really appreciate all your kind words. I never thought I would be visiting this site again.

[swgrl09]

I don't know what artex is, but to my knowledge asbestos was mostly in insulation. If insulation wasn't disturbed I would think it wouldn't be an issue.

[puzzledlass]

There is nothing you can do about this, there's no test to see if you've been exposed, there's no way of knowing what damage could come from exposure (if any!)at this level, there is just no way of knowing.

So don't feel guilty about it.

[cassie1975]

After having numerous panic attacks this week, I just cant settle down. I am struggling with negative thoughts surrounding my original post. I have been to the gym and even sought help from a counsellor. I have only had one session so I have a long way to go. its the not knowing that's killing me. I am struggling to sleep and just feel worked up all the time.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Something that stands out for me is that you have HA, have been away from here and this event took place a few years ago. I would expect someone with HA to come straight on here creating a thread.

So, what put this in your head now? Have you seen a decline in your mental health and then this has popped up?

I'm wondering why you had a few years where you never questioned this. You said you didn't know about the asbestos danger at the time so has someone mentioned it to you now? Asbestos issues in houses have been known for quite some decades so I'm wondering why the question has started.

Can you see what I am getting at? What is the trigger? That is the real problem here because you are likely to never know the answer the the question you asked but it was never an issue until now and what has caused this is a key question for me. Try to pinpoint it and tell your counsellor.

[cassie1975]

I can see what you are getting at. I did have this concern with my husband a few years ago. I asked him to go and see the G.P he said no. He said people need to work with the stuff for years to have a problem. I just moved it to the back of my mind. I have been quite stressed with numerous things going on and then the negative thought just cropped up. I seem to cope during the day but at night I struggle to sleep because my head is racing. I know in my rational part of the brain that even if there has been exposure I cant do anything, but in the same breath I am scared to ask my G.P her opinion in case I don't like what I hear. I am unsure where the thought came from, it never entered my head that My daughter could have been exposed until last week. I don't where I heard the info or when which makes it even worse. This is what is in my head at the moment and I cant seem to shift it. I havee had negative thoughts before but after a couple of days it has subsided. Thanks for your reply MynameisTerry x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do you think you could read some of NHS Choices? Or maybe even a relevant section if pasted here that talks about how it takes repeated exposure? Could you use something like that to challenge these thoughts?

Your husband is right. So, he obviously did understand about asbestos back then. That means he would have also known if he came across it doesn't it?

Have you noticed something strange in your thread yet? At what point have you worried about you getting ill from this? You don't seem have that concern, it seems more about the health of your loved ones. That tells me that you love them very much and put their health beyond your own and it's just that your focus on this issue is skewed in that HA way in that the extremes are dominating focus as opposed to the realities but you do know in your conscious mind that your subconscious is wrong.

Since you know in your conscious mind that your husband is right that there is no danger here, perhaps you need to pull the rug from under these thoughts by accepting them as possibilities but not eventualities? The reason I say this is because I have OCD and have beaten my intrusive thoughts. HA shares some similarities in how people react with people with OCD and I learnt, through researching my conditions talking to others and from therapy angles, that we reinforce these thoughts through negative reactions to them. We interact with them in non productive ways, analyse, try to push them away or just panic. These are all signals to the subconscious that it did somethign "valid". Not "correct", merely "valid". I learnt to react neutrally as an observer (through Mindfulness) and these thoughts decreased in strength & intensity until I could laugh them off and then they just went.

Part of that was reducing underlying anxiety too (I have GAD which is my primary condition) as these really make OCD worse. I think that would easily be the same in HA. So, try to practice relaxation and reduce the stressful things that are going on where you can.

Doing these together can really help with this nagging intrusive thoughts. And don't forget that you did it before, you will do it again.

It just shows that rational isn't always part of the threat analysis our subconscious does. If it were, you would have naturally worried about everyone who could have exposed and I bet your baby would have been the first to worry about. Anxiety just picks it's targets, it tried your husband, now it's your child. I wonder if some of your more recent stresses have been about your child? Anxiety likes to pick our weakest points and when it comes to something like the intrusive thoughts in OCD, it has a habit of picking the things we care about the most hence why new parents get thoughts about harming or abusing their child which is adhorent to them as that child is the very thing they love the most.

[cassie1975]

My husband has never worked with these materials so i believe he wouldn't know. He did work with a friend who is a little more DIY literate (if that's the correct term). My husband doesn't see dangers like I do, he thinks I am over the top but understands my concerns. I have an appointment with the G.P today. I am going to tell her my concerns and go from there. I am scared of what she might say but I need to discuss it with a professional. I fly out on holiday on Monday morning so didn't think I could wait a week to speak to someone. You are right my anxiety has been Daughter and Husband based before. I feel very protective of them and always have. My counsellor commented on it as well. I will work with her to try to restore my life to some sort of normality. I know I can overcome this blip I have done it before and it was worse than this. I am just finding this hard because its a lot of what if's and its my daughter.


Thanks for your reply MynameisTerry.