Can I go back?

[SelfLoathing]

Hi

I have a complete fear of HIV. I have had a lot of tests, and promised myself I would never put myself through that again, never take a risk.

Something happened, which was not really consensual, I can't go into details.
I want to go back and get re-tested, but I am afraid they will be angry with me for wasting their time and resources. I can't even tell my counselor, I am the most stupid person.

I can't go on like this, I am overwhelmed with shame...

[inha]

Hello,
first of all I'm sorry to hear you are having a really bad time at the moment. Please know there is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all.
I see you live in the UK, and on the NHS website, it says anyone can get tested free of charge. Anyone including getting a test again.

Don't stay like this, get tested, and rest assured you are not to blame in any way.

I hope you can find some peace of mind soon !

[SelfLoathing]

Hi Inha

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I will go for another test.

I don't deserve your kind words, I went against my better judgement, and trusted someone, who did not respect my boundaries (even though I articulated them). I should have been stronger. I put myself in a vulnerable position, and I should not have done/

I do appreciate your kindness though, I really do,

SL XX