fallingstar
19-08-15, 05:24
Hi, everyone. So, I had shyed away from this site for a while as I was feeling better. I know some of us do that when we start to feel okay. Recently however, I have been coming on here again as my attacks have been getting bad again. Even with 11 years of experience with this disorder it still has me wrapped around it's finger pulling me into fear of what if's and "I think I'm dying".
I ask myself many questions many days in a row at times - they range from everyday things to the Am I dying?:
Is this because I'm over stressed from my 2 jobs?
Am I stressed because I take care of my daughter alone and she's going through a rough phase?
Am I stressed because of both?
Why can't I handle normal day to day stresses without anxiety?
Even though these symptoms are anxiety related, this means I may still be physically ill right!?
Is this stress causing the twitching, the facial twitching? Is this facial twitching going to last forever even when I'm not stressed? How can I make the stress and anxiety and twitching go away?
I have so many good things going for me in life right now. I've had my new place for a few months now. I have my freedom that I deeply missed the last 6 years of my life. I have 2 new jobs where I'm liked by all of my coworkers and managers. I have a beautiful daughter. I have an amazing boyfriend.
So how, with all of this good and achievements and moving forward in life, how with this am I still having these panic attacks? I feel like I'm supposed to be okay. After my past, after my many years of struggling since 18, how is the anxiety starting to control me again? How am I letting it? It's making me really depressed. I can still do my day to day things but it just feels like a struggle. I can go to work, I can commute, I can do chores around the house, I can get on a plane in 2 weeks. I just can't control my physical symptoms or thinking of the symptoms!
My symptoms right now are always in my face. I get so scared that there is something detrimentally wrong with me. I've had all of the thoughts about nerves, neurological problems etc that I've seen other people on this site state they have.
Right now my face feels like this:
Tonight it is a bit numb - when it's not numb tingling and sometimes both. It's on the left side of my face. I did sleep wrong on my neck last night - that's also sore on that side. I'm associating this with that - I'm really trying to at least that is!
Right where your dimples are/the cheek area by the bottom of my nose and top corner of my left lip it has been twitching kind of spasming or just feeling tight. If I look up with my head and eyes it will twitch especially if I'm stressed or focusing. I've been like this since this past week on Monday so about a week; I had bad sleep and been really stressed with my daughter and then working many days without any days off really - switching between day and night shifts too.
I can't seem to shake the twitching. I had had it in my eye before - it's happened multiple times over the years but not this feeling and this spot in my face. When I try to keep my mouth open and keep it like that, it's almost like I can't control the twitching.
I had blood work recently done at the hospital because of a visit for a fever/muscle aches.... turning out to be fever and a low potassium. I take vitamins now and seem to be ok. If I had something crazy they would have found it in my bloodwork and something neurological would not have just turned up this quick and wouldn't come and go come and go as this does. I also seem to have it disappear when my anxiety is at bay or after a long night of sleep or on an overnight shift when I'm listening to music, stocking shelves and keeping my body and mind busy working.
Does anyone else feel like this? It's really getting me down. I don't like having my face feel like this. And I don't like the extra panic it causes! I'll add that I have had mild ticks since I was a young child (it's technically a form of tourettes or a sub category if you want to call it that). These ticks and sensations have disappeared in the past with xanax so I'm very convinced that this facial feeling is just that; sensations... ticks... or reactions to stress/being tense in the face. I also suffer from benign tremors. Basically my hands shake noticeably during certain tasks and sometimes they just do it randomly. I was diagnosed with the tremors I think around age 7 or 8. Someone else that my parents know, their son has the tremors too - worse than me apparently. It's more embarrassing than anything and can make my job difficult sometimes but doesn't consistently interfere with life.
Sorry for this entirely too long - too detailed post. :unsure:But thanks for listening! Much appreciated! :yesyes:
I ask myself many questions many days in a row at times - they range from everyday things to the Am I dying?:
Is this because I'm over stressed from my 2 jobs?
Am I stressed because I take care of my daughter alone and she's going through a rough phase?
Am I stressed because of both?
Why can't I handle normal day to day stresses without anxiety?
Even though these symptoms are anxiety related, this means I may still be physically ill right!?
Is this stress causing the twitching, the facial twitching? Is this facial twitching going to last forever even when I'm not stressed? How can I make the stress and anxiety and twitching go away?
I have so many good things going for me in life right now. I've had my new place for a few months now. I have my freedom that I deeply missed the last 6 years of my life. I have 2 new jobs where I'm liked by all of my coworkers and managers. I have a beautiful daughter. I have an amazing boyfriend.
So how, with all of this good and achievements and moving forward in life, how with this am I still having these panic attacks? I feel like I'm supposed to be okay. After my past, after my many years of struggling since 18, how is the anxiety starting to control me again? How am I letting it? It's making me really depressed. I can still do my day to day things but it just feels like a struggle. I can go to work, I can commute, I can do chores around the house, I can get on a plane in 2 weeks. I just can't control my physical symptoms or thinking of the symptoms!
My symptoms right now are always in my face. I get so scared that there is something detrimentally wrong with me. I've had all of the thoughts about nerves, neurological problems etc that I've seen other people on this site state they have.
Right now my face feels like this:
Tonight it is a bit numb - when it's not numb tingling and sometimes both. It's on the left side of my face. I did sleep wrong on my neck last night - that's also sore on that side. I'm associating this with that - I'm really trying to at least that is!
Right where your dimples are/the cheek area by the bottom of my nose and top corner of my left lip it has been twitching kind of spasming or just feeling tight. If I look up with my head and eyes it will twitch especially if I'm stressed or focusing. I've been like this since this past week on Monday so about a week; I had bad sleep and been really stressed with my daughter and then working many days without any days off really - switching between day and night shifts too.
I can't seem to shake the twitching. I had had it in my eye before - it's happened multiple times over the years but not this feeling and this spot in my face. When I try to keep my mouth open and keep it like that, it's almost like I can't control the twitching.
I had blood work recently done at the hospital because of a visit for a fever/muscle aches.... turning out to be fever and a low potassium. I take vitamins now and seem to be ok. If I had something crazy they would have found it in my bloodwork and something neurological would not have just turned up this quick and wouldn't come and go come and go as this does. I also seem to have it disappear when my anxiety is at bay or after a long night of sleep or on an overnight shift when I'm listening to music, stocking shelves and keeping my body and mind busy working.
Does anyone else feel like this? It's really getting me down. I don't like having my face feel like this. And I don't like the extra panic it causes! I'll add that I have had mild ticks since I was a young child (it's technically a form of tourettes or a sub category if you want to call it that). These ticks and sensations have disappeared in the past with xanax so I'm very convinced that this facial feeling is just that; sensations... ticks... or reactions to stress/being tense in the face. I also suffer from benign tremors. Basically my hands shake noticeably during certain tasks and sometimes they just do it randomly. I was diagnosed with the tremors I think around age 7 or 8. Someone else that my parents know, their son has the tremors too - worse than me apparently. It's more embarrassing than anything and can make my job difficult sometimes but doesn't consistently interfere with life.
Sorry for this entirely too long - too detailed post. :unsure:But thanks for listening! Much appreciated! :yesyes: