walter32
20-08-15, 11:37
This is such a great resource to read and it has calmed me down a few times. Thank you all!
So - I'm a male, 33 years old... Only family history of bowel / colon cancer is an uncle and he was in his late fifties - so even though his death was a great loss and probably started my fears of BC, it is not evidence that I'm at a higher risk than everyone else for genetic/family reasons. (Google says you need two close relatives for that - and an uncle wouldn't even be considered a "close" relative according to that definition).
Otherwise I am totally healthy. AND. I even had a colonoscopy done just to be sure - exactly a year ago. No polyps found - everything was 100% OK and healthy. I feel good too.
But. I can't stop worrying that I have this disease.
I suffer from HA in general - but with my other worries they seem to calm down over time... The problem with my worries of bowel cancer is that I'm reminded about them every time I take a shit (excuse my language).
I think it's a habit that I developed because it took me a long time to get my colonoscopy done in the first place... I started fearing about colon cancer when I think I saw blood in my stool a couple of years back (after my uncle passed away) ... It then took me more than a year until I finally took the consequence of these constant fears and had a colonoscopy done a year ago.
In that period I guess I developed the habit of basically having "fear" / worries of seeing blood every time I went to the bathroom. I'd confuse anything for blood and think I saw blood even when it wasn't there.
And now - even after I got the colonoscopy with 100% normal results last year - the fear keeps coming. I fear that I have developed the disease in the year that has passed since my colonoscopy - although I know that it usually takes much longer to develop BC...
The weird thing is that this is my only real fear - I don't REALLY worry so much about other diseases and would say I'm pretty emotionally stable otherwise.
But my fear of bowel cancer is just such a disturbance in my life.
It will usually be small stuff I worry about - like "did I just see blood in there today?", "is the color a little different or darker than normal?" . . . Even "is this spot in my boxer shorts from blood?" . . . "It itched / hurt a little bit during my BM today - could this be blood making the BM feel more painful / itchy" . . . etc...
I've tried not to look at the stool but then I just start worrying about the color of any traces of the BM that are left in the toilet after I flush. It just won't stop!
Seems like I've basically just programmed myself to worry about this disease everytime I have a bowel movement!?!
What I'm hoping to get out of this post - I guess - is just reassurance that I don't have bowel cancer.
I know that this reassurance can only come from within. But, for instance, hearing other people say that a colonoscopy with normal results will cover you for at least more than a year (it's a year ago now) will still help me convince myself to relax. BC would almost always not develop so quickly right?
I guess in the long run I'll need to see a psychologist about this - but it's just such a gross subject to discuss. Thank god for the anonymity of this forum!
I know there'll always be a minimal risk of BC (or any other disease). But in my case - given my age, my lack of any serious family history, a 100% normal colonoscopy from only a year ago etc. - the risk is incredibly, incredibly minimal. . . And definitely not so big that it really makes sense to spend so much time worrying about it - considering the trade off: a reduced life quality.
Yet I'll be reminded everytime I take a shit - and reason and sensibility just doesn't work much on me with this particular fear!
Any tips on how I can get over this?! PLEASE! My life would be so much better if colon cancer (or rather, the fear of it) didn't exist as a concept.
So - I'm a male, 33 years old... Only family history of bowel / colon cancer is an uncle and he was in his late fifties - so even though his death was a great loss and probably started my fears of BC, it is not evidence that I'm at a higher risk than everyone else for genetic/family reasons. (Google says you need two close relatives for that - and an uncle wouldn't even be considered a "close" relative according to that definition).
Otherwise I am totally healthy. AND. I even had a colonoscopy done just to be sure - exactly a year ago. No polyps found - everything was 100% OK and healthy. I feel good too.
But. I can't stop worrying that I have this disease.
I suffer from HA in general - but with my other worries they seem to calm down over time... The problem with my worries of bowel cancer is that I'm reminded about them every time I take a shit (excuse my language).
I think it's a habit that I developed because it took me a long time to get my colonoscopy done in the first place... I started fearing about colon cancer when I think I saw blood in my stool a couple of years back (after my uncle passed away) ... It then took me more than a year until I finally took the consequence of these constant fears and had a colonoscopy done a year ago.
In that period I guess I developed the habit of basically having "fear" / worries of seeing blood every time I went to the bathroom. I'd confuse anything for blood and think I saw blood even when it wasn't there.
And now - even after I got the colonoscopy with 100% normal results last year - the fear keeps coming. I fear that I have developed the disease in the year that has passed since my colonoscopy - although I know that it usually takes much longer to develop BC...
The weird thing is that this is my only real fear - I don't REALLY worry so much about other diseases and would say I'm pretty emotionally stable otherwise.
But my fear of bowel cancer is just such a disturbance in my life.
It will usually be small stuff I worry about - like "did I just see blood in there today?", "is the color a little different or darker than normal?" . . . Even "is this spot in my boxer shorts from blood?" . . . "It itched / hurt a little bit during my BM today - could this be blood making the BM feel more painful / itchy" . . . etc...
I've tried not to look at the stool but then I just start worrying about the color of any traces of the BM that are left in the toilet after I flush. It just won't stop!
Seems like I've basically just programmed myself to worry about this disease everytime I have a bowel movement!?!
What I'm hoping to get out of this post - I guess - is just reassurance that I don't have bowel cancer.
I know that this reassurance can only come from within. But, for instance, hearing other people say that a colonoscopy with normal results will cover you for at least more than a year (it's a year ago now) will still help me convince myself to relax. BC would almost always not develop so quickly right?
I guess in the long run I'll need to see a psychologist about this - but it's just such a gross subject to discuss. Thank god for the anonymity of this forum!
I know there'll always be a minimal risk of BC (or any other disease). But in my case - given my age, my lack of any serious family history, a 100% normal colonoscopy from only a year ago etc. - the risk is incredibly, incredibly minimal. . . And definitely not so big that it really makes sense to spend so much time worrying about it - considering the trade off: a reduced life quality.
Yet I'll be reminded everytime I take a shit - and reason and sensibility just doesn't work much on me with this particular fear!
Any tips on how I can get over this?! PLEASE! My life would be so much better if colon cancer (or rather, the fear of it) didn't exist as a concept.