Touch wood - I think I'm coping better!!

[sandie]

Hi everyone

Haven't visited the site much in the last month - we've had broadband/server probs so couldn't access the site.

Managed to catch up with some postings and have PMd some old friends (you know who you are).

Most of you will recall what dreadful sleep problems I had at the end of last year; well, they are a little better - I manage 4 sometimes 5 hours a night now, and although its not enough, I'm coping.

My anxiety gives me good days and bad days and the physical symptoms (palpitations, chest pain, chest tightening/burning etc) is still there, I KNOW ITS NOTHING SINISTER!! just anxiety making its evil presence known!!! I'm still taking the propanalol (3 x 40 mg) - I try to keep to one every 8 hours, but they tend to last really for only about 6 hours - unless I'm very busy or very distracted. The PAs and pains are usually what wakes me up at 4 or 5 am, and I never manage to get back to sleep.

The panic attacks still happen, and I cope with them - good old rescue remedy and willpower. My husband is still wonderful - incredibly supportive and reassuring. Our life will never be back to what we call 'normal' and I know we've got some very stressful times ahead of us this year (they are part of what I am really worrying about.)

Losing Dad a week before christmas on top of everything else that happened really did cap off a terrible year. BUT, I am trying extremely hard to be positive, and have been very grateful for the messages of reassurance and support from my NMP friends.

I've started to visit the quiz again - not doing very well though!!!

Sandie

[clickaway]

Hi Sandie

Glad to hear that you are now having better days and nights. They always seem to last forever, don't they?

It takes time to readjust to things - keep up with the quiz - something I have neglected of late too!

Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[sal]

Hi Sandie

Great to hear from you. So sorry to hear about your dad, i lost my dad on 19th December 7 years ago so i do understand how you feel.

So hope this is your year mate you deserve it.

Lots of love

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[sandie]

Thanks Guys - Good to catch up with you all. Rotten night's sleep last night, but a good'ish day - so I'm still 'coping'. Look forward to the day when I can say "... I've had brilliant day today" - hopefully in the future somewhere!!!

Haven't seen my GP since 1st December; really do feel as though I should chase for my CBT appointment (I've been told I might not hear anything until April - 6 month waiting list for initial assessment alone!!!).

Also THINKING about asking for a small supply (4 or 5 tabs) of a strong sleeper (diazepam?), to see if I can break this cycle of insomnia. Haven't taken anything to aid sleep (other than a glass of warm milk) since the beginning of December, so I don't think I'm being unreasonable in my request. The Zimovane the GP prescribed was hopeless anyway, and my tough love GP wasn't going to give me a continuous supply anyway.

Just a thought to finish the posting: we've all heard the saying "adrenaline junkie"; well who on earth would actually want to PROMOTE or ENCOURAGE this awful feeling so many of us get when we experience a Panic Attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandie

[wobily_lin]

elo hun,

Sorry ta hear bout ur Dad....but you r doin so well..

I agree with Nigel.......wtf is 'normal'.....we can't keep lookn back on who we were....we have to accept who we are now..i don't mean all the panics etc...it's just we have moved on and we all have to cope in our own ways n try to stop lookn back..

I would def chase up the CBT..I waited 2 1/2 yrs for mine..in the end i kept ringin n ringn and i got it...so hound them..let them know ya need it bad...n it isnt good enuf...gud luck with that..let us know how ya get on..

Diaz?...well i take meds...i do not sleep well atall....its a personal choice of course and also b aware that benzos can b additive...personally i haven't got that type of personality so I am not nor can i b addicted to them...they may help as ye said fora short time...or even a few sleepn pills for a cupla nights just til ya get a good nights sleep n c where ya head it at, as tiredness certainly dont help..i know..so have a chat witcha GP...

All de best hun..ya doin great..keep ya chin up..x

Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!

[sandie]

Hi everyone

Rotten night last night - no sleep at all; the adrenaline was flowing all night and the pain in my chest was just dreadful. My sleep has been so much better in recent weeks - I thought I was coming out of the tunnel.

I had a really busy day too, lots of distractions and nothing particularly negative - I really don't understand why the night was so bad.

Its pouring hard with rain here -really miserable - just how I feel!!!

Sandie

[sandie]

Hi everyone

I almost frigthened to make this posting (I don't want to tempt fate), but I had 7 HOURS SLEEP last night!!!!!! The best night since last September!!!

I haven't taken a sleeping tablet since the beginning of December - they weren't working anway. With the help of my husband, even though I was desperately tired, I didn't nap on the sofa during the evening - he kept prodding and shouting at me.

Well a glass of warm milk, with a loprazolam, (which I've never taken before - my husband uses them to combat jet lag), did the trick. I can't believe how much better I feel this morning!!

I'd like to think I've broken the cycle, but one night might not be enough for this. Still I'll try again tonight without the aid of a tablet, keep my fingers crossed and hope!!

Sandie

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sandie

Welcome back and lovely to hear that you got some sleep last night at last!

Hope it continues for you.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[sandie]

Unfortunately, not a repeat peformance last night. Incredible what one good night's sleep can do for you though! I had a really positive day yesterday, no adrenaline surges, no palpitations, no panicky feelings - I did so well I didn't need my lunchtime propanalol, and I even toyed with the idea of not taking my bedtime propanalol, (but decided that cutting 2 out of my daily 3 was probably not a good idea).

Last night managed about 5 hours in 3 sessions (2 hours, then awake, 1.1/2 hours awake again, and then a final 1.1/2 hours. I was awake at 2 am, 4 am and then just before 6, and the palpitations set in straight away, so badly I had to take a propanalol straight away.

I've been coping like this for so long I'm sure I'll manage again today, but its very upsetting and I'm concerned that I'll end up gradually slipping back to the bad old days of 2 hours a night.

I'm seeing the GP tomorrow (first time since the beginning of December), so we'll see if he has any suggestions, although his answer to EVERYTHING is "... get yourself out and go for a walk" - even in the pouring rain!!!!.

Sandie