Fear of boyfriend's health

[user 33]

Hello everyone,
I have a problem that has been affecting a lot my personal life.
I am scared that my boyfriend gets sick, but really scared. Whenever he coughs or looks tired I completely panic, but in a crazy way... I start feeling dizzy and out of breath and cold and I start crying and I could go on forever.. My biggest fear is that he is not fine and he is not telling the truth... i don't know why I feel so miserable but this problem is affecting my life and my relationship because everytime he has a cold or a flu i panick completely stop eating and start losing control on the situation.. I tell him bad things that I don't think just to hurt him and I really feel like I might hurt myself just to hurt him....
Is it only me? How can I do to control this complete anxiety? I feel crazy, I feel like I might do bad things to myself just to hurt him and to be "worse" thqn him..

thank you for your help

[snowflake293]

Hi

I can totally relate to this. I worry over my fiancés health constantly. He was an underactive thyroid and his father died relatively young on a heart attack so I worry for him.

I am always asking if he feels ok but it is more than just being concerned, I am obsessed with it. He had a nasty skin infection on his leg last year and I had a complete meltdown thinking he had some deadly underlying disease. If I hear him coughing in the bathroom I am worrying about him. Like you, I worry if he was ill he would keep it from me (even though we have a very honest and loving, close relationship)

I guess what it boils down to (with me at least) is a fear of loss. You love your boyfriend and you are fearful of losing him or any harm coming to him. I think that is a normal, fleeting feeling in a lot of people - but for some of us the feelings/obsessions can take over.

Do you talk to him about how you feel? What does he say about it?

Do you worry over anyone else such as family members? I am the same with my parents.

xx

[robin321]

I can relate totally. I worry about my wife's health a lot. And it is worse than worrying about myself, because I love her. And also, when I worry about myself I can tell her. When I worry about her, I keep it to myself because I don't want her to be worried.