topsy
07-02-07, 15:57
HI there
This is my first time posting on a forum so please bear with me!
I have been on this site a few times looking at various posts and it has been helpful to find other people with the same experiences i have had.
Just a bit about myself, I have suffered from anxiety and panic since i was a teenager probably even before that - i was a very clingy child! the catalyst for my panic attacks began though when i was a teenager and had a very bad experience - the first and only time - i took drugs. this experience shaped my teenage years causing me to become phobic about drugs and having panic attacks all the time becoming isolated from my old friends. I managed to get through college and university though and eventually got a good job and left home where things got better though still not normal eventually even going on world trip for a year. during this time I came out as Gay to friends and family and started having relationships with me now having been with my partner for two years
Over the past four or so years however my panic attacks have come back mixed with a chronic anxiety and insomnia, brought on by stress and worry. My doctor gave me citalopram about three years ago which changed my life. I had no side effects and literally changed into a 'normal' person overnight. I came off citalopram for the first time fine but went back to them after 6 months after a bad experience. I have since come off citalopram and gone back onto it about 3 times with me at the moment trying again to be drug free.
My partner detests anti depressants although is supportive of me and would rather me see a counsellor. After admitting my problems to him early in our relationship i agreed but found I couldnt cope until the appointment with the therapist came through, so I continued my medication in secret. I stopped citalopram again in a last ditch effort to stop lying an be free about 1 month ago and have been fine, but after a recent holiday where i didnt get much sleep - a trigger has gone off again and i am now sleepless 3 nights and counting. I dont want to be on drugs for the rest of my life but cant see another way.
Thanks for listening
Mat :D
This is my first time posting on a forum so please bear with me!
I have been on this site a few times looking at various posts and it has been helpful to find other people with the same experiences i have had.
Just a bit about myself, I have suffered from anxiety and panic since i was a teenager probably even before that - i was a very clingy child! the catalyst for my panic attacks began though when i was a teenager and had a very bad experience - the first and only time - i took drugs. this experience shaped my teenage years causing me to become phobic about drugs and having panic attacks all the time becoming isolated from my old friends. I managed to get through college and university though and eventually got a good job and left home where things got better though still not normal eventually even going on world trip for a year. during this time I came out as Gay to friends and family and started having relationships with me now having been with my partner for two years
Over the past four or so years however my panic attacks have come back mixed with a chronic anxiety and insomnia, brought on by stress and worry. My doctor gave me citalopram about three years ago which changed my life. I had no side effects and literally changed into a 'normal' person overnight. I came off citalopram for the first time fine but went back to them after 6 months after a bad experience. I have since come off citalopram and gone back onto it about 3 times with me at the moment trying again to be drug free.
My partner detests anti depressants although is supportive of me and would rather me see a counsellor. After admitting my problems to him early in our relationship i agreed but found I couldnt cope until the appointment with the therapist came through, so I continued my medication in secret. I stopped citalopram again in a last ditch effort to stop lying an be free about 1 month ago and have been fine, but after a recent holiday where i didnt get much sleep - a trigger has gone off again and i am now sleepless 3 nights and counting. I dont want to be on drugs for the rest of my life but cant see another way.
Thanks for listening
Mat :D