View Full Version : Everything contaminated
As I said in other posts toilet germs worry me. Basically I will post a few examples:
*The toilet got blocked and I used a coat hanger to unblock it and my mum said she put it in a bin. I seen a hanger in my cupboard the same colour so basically I wanted to chuck everyone out or sell it in fear its contaminated even though it probably wasn't the same hanger. I have a Hoover for when I move out now I fear the whole house would be contaminated.
*I had to buy a new mop bucket as after a shower I worried I brushed it and maybe my backside wasn't clean enough?
*I won't use a rucksack in fear its contaminated no idea why..maybe toilet germs some how?
Basically I get these thoughts all the time and loads of items in my room have bend off limits. I wouldn't plug headphone in my phone as one time after the toilet my backside wasn't 100% clean so fear my phone is too contaminated.
At the moment my OCD makes me worry every thought in my head is real
And my over active imagination is coming up with loads of scenarios where I can't use certain things. I buy new polish clothes, house brushes if I fear the old one is contaminated. Re buying is easing my anxiety but not a great long term solution...anybody else had issues like this before? :blush:
Right I have given up I've got the Hoover for sale on gum tree even though it's new. My head says it will be dirty and when I move house that will be dirty. I kept it by for months but this time I couldn't resist and was even going to search the bin for the coat hanger which was causing me anxiety. The thought of it cleaning carpets and being dirty could "contaminate"
My new house.
I may buy a new Hoover and store it somewhere else so I don't get anymore anxious :huh:
GingerFish
24-08-15, 18:57
I have this too except mine is more with poisoning though I used to have it just as bad with germs.
I also get it if I am outside and I touch a toilet door handle or anything public, I feel like I need to scrub myself all over afterwards and most of the time its not possible to do it so I keep reminding myself that I have to as soon as I get the chance and the longer I wait, the more anxiety builds up.
I've had to stick my hand down my toilet before to unblock it because the plunger didn't do the job and even though I had gloves on and had anti bacterial soap to scrub with afterwards, I still used went for 2 baths and a shower that day after it and I threw out the clothes I was wearing even though they had been washed in the washing machine three times since that incident. I just couldn't bring myself to wear them again and even used gloves to take them out the bin for fear they were still contaminated.
Thanks glad I'm not the only one suffering.
I will probably buy a new Hoover even though I don't need it but just worried about the germs even if the chances of the coat hanger not being in the room my thoughts have been so over powering this time I fear if I use this Hoover I will be worrying forever the place has germs but this is how my OCD behaves?
How will I cope without having to buy and replace things?
---------- Post added at 23:56 ---------- Previous post was at 22:10 ----------
And I'm now worried that I need to throw everything in my cupboard out even my new microwave.
One thoughts say nothing happened it was just a coat hanger not a dirty one but I'm worried someone put it in and everyone is dirty :ohmy:
MyNameIsTerry
25-08-15, 06:51
Phil,
I really think you need some support from a therapist with this. It's clear that this is advancing and now you are moving into a stage of discarding things because of the "what if" of contamination.
The human body is advanced, we build up our immunity as toddlers. Just look how toddlers are crawling all over the floor. The floor will be covering in germs & bacteria throughout the day as we are surrounded by so there is no escape. This is precisely why our bodies build up our immune systems when we are very young.
You need to be challenging these thoughts and not giving into them by panicking or throwing things away or cleaning things. I know this is really really hard. I've not had contamination issues but I have had loads of OCD forms and it had me on my knees for ages but it doesn't now so I know you can get much better, because I was pretty poor at pushing myself on to do things and I'm a million times better now. So, if can do it, I believe everyone can.
I believe you need support through a structured ERP programme to get you facing this but with the skills to get through it. Some of those skills will be things like Thought Records, relaxation, Mindfulness, etc as well as all the acceptance stuff but having a hierarchy structure of exposes from easiest to hardest (and potentially a further step beyond that of the normal practices in life to prove it has been beaten) will be a good way for you. There are guides on how to do this and I can happily post you something like this off the NHS websites but given how you are throwing thinsg away, selling stuff and how your thoughts are escalating to even more, I think you need some professional support for this. At a minimum an assessment of your needs should be done so you get an understand of how you can move forward.
How about speaking to your GP to get the ball moving? You don't have to go the meds route and we all know that doesn't work anyway as only the hard work from yourself in recovery ever works. A referal for CBT would be a good thing.
Honestly Phil, my OCD was out of control for the first year and I thought I was going crazy. I got into therapy, which helped a bit, got some understanding and started Mindfulness and kept challenging things and it got me to a much better place.
I have battled OCD for years but in different phases sometimes it's worse than others. Sometimes I have to wash my hands more than others. Some of my worries don't bother me at all. I use to have Heath OCD, intrusive thoughts..
Usually it's cheaper stuff I throw away underwear, a mop bucket, socks. For some reason I'm less anxious about other stuff on the cupboard as I feel it's the Hoover which can spread germs as its one that goes between rooms. I can wash a microwave but not a Hoover. But I can't get my head round it not being opened anyway but I still fear germs got in. I know if I use the Hoover once I move into this house I shall worry and think "omg my living room is contaminated" even if it makes no logical sense. Usually I get anxious over an actual reason e.g a blocked toilet or something as I said in my other posts but when my OCD is bad my mind springs thoughts out which are so powerful I avoid touching things, I clean things more or I avoid or sell. Perhaps the stress of moving intensifying it. All of my worries are based around toilet germs for some reason or things like under cooked or over cooked food or swallowing glass ect.
I have been thinking about selling the Hoover for 48 hours now. I have also had thoughts people will come round to my house and mess my new bathroom up too. I worry I won't be able to keep it clean enough aswell.
I've had theropy a long time back and it helped with some of my anxiety but there's waiting lists now. Couple of years ago it got quite bad so I paid for a therapist that helped a bit but in the end she even said I wasted money as she did free group sessions. Self help worked for me to get over panic attacks however with my OCD I have never really been able to get over it as I feel I need to worry that's the bottom line. I know it's not normal to behave with all these ocds but I can't imagine not cleaning my hands 20 times? In public toilets I can only clean once or twice because of embarrassment of looking mad but I feel unclean at home I can clean like 5 or 6 times..:shrug:
MyNameIsTerry
25-08-15, 10:44
You just mentioned something that I found myself but haven't seen much on threads - how the fear of embarrassment is stronger than the OCD. I had that. I would be walking along a main road checking every road sign over & over and it got worse so that I was "head bobbing" as it I was trying to make it sink in somehow. Yet if someone was walking behind me I would not do it more than once and avoid the head bobbing so it was a discrete ritual.
It's strange isn't it how we can fear things enough to not be able to stop doing it yet if someone stands there we can. Did you find the compulsion wasn't as intesnse or subsided more quickly when in that scenario?
OCD is almost like we just don't trust ourselves. Funnily enough it did used to be known as "the doubters disease".
How do you feel about trying something like online CBT? You can get it free or some charge very little. Do you think that you could follow that with support on here? There are techniques you can try and it's easy enough to come up with ERP hierarchies, it's more doing them again & again thats the issue.
You clearly have a lot of strength in you to beat your panic disorder.
Bit annoying about your therapist, she should have advised you about that to save you money otherwise she's not very ethical.
Yes she took about £30 per hour but most of it was about positive thoughts and ignoring anxiety. And yes at train stations when I use the toilet and wash my hands once I am too busy with the train journey to worry about the hands. At home I have less tolerance and have thoughts like they are not clean enough or I touched something. I think when others do a quick hand wash it makes me feel more at ease I guess. If there's nobody in the public toilet I wash hands more so I'm in a way glad if there's others around.
My mum said she never out the coat hanger in and it seems a crazy thing to do but I was out when she put it in the bin so I couldn't be sure it was in the bin hence why I checked but could only find one hanger I binned another one a day earlier. A few months ago I had a dream the dog poo'd my room and for about a month I avoided this corner of the room think I posted about it but it seemed real but today it seems more trivial.
Being in my own house I can be more in charge of my own cleaning so that will help. I remember getting some good help here a while ago that helped but the forums less busy these days and online anxiety help is a bit of a jungle of information. The relaxation I use is not OCD specific more anxiety. I defo need more direction and now I'm moving I'm Hoping to spend time looking at helping my OCD as I don't have to spend all the time trying to find a house. :blush:
MyNameIsTerry
25-08-15, 11:45
I think the extra stress you have had will easily play a part. I know my GAD causes my OCD to itensify with it. So, cutting down on stresses will help you get some more control back.
I know what you mean about wishing someone was on there so it overrided your OCD, I've had that too.
The problem with obsessional disorders like this is unless we get 100%, we think we can't accept it. This is that "All-or-nothing thinking" that you probably covered in your CBT. We need to learn to accept that having a possibility that something isn't what we think, is ok too. Some things are yes & no, others shades of grey and this is where we struggle. It makes perfect sense when you consider the fight or flight reaction which is looking to evaluate any risks and take an action that saves us. But if you think about fight or flight, how would running save you without any risk of being caught and how would fighting ensure you came out the victor? They don't so even at that raw level there is always doubt and acceptance has to be practiced. It's just more intuitive I guess.
The thing is, germs are not always going to harm us. If I don't wash my hands before I eat, I won't end up ill because of that. Our immune system can cope with it. This is the type of thing you need to use in rationalising & challenging thoughts and then as you use exposure you can use that to help you through it.
I know I've mentioned this before, and I don't want to appear as pursuading you to leave here because I don't think you need to, but would using the free forum on somewhere like OCD UK help? I'm just thinking there will be more people with contamination issues on there. I understand a fair bit about OCD in generation and loads about intrusive thoughts but not much about some types like this and I worry about you getting the right support because you don't get many replies on your threads.
Just a though Phil... Obviously, I'm going to reiterate getting professional help. It's very wasteful (and expensive) discarding items due to your fears. If you are going to do that, why not donate them to the Salvation Army or a charity. There are many families that would be thankful to get perfectly good items.
Certainly the best possible scenario would be to get a handle on this but don't just discard things if someone can benefit.
Positive thoughts
So should I be trying to use this Hoover and not worry and if I use it and get anxious that won't be good?
Think about it... you come into contact with more "things" just going to the grocery store or shopping for new items to replace the one's you discarded.
Ultimately, getting a grip on your OCD would be the best investment.
Positive thoughts
I managed to hold off selling the Hoover tonight. I'm now worried about a fan I got as my girlfriend stood near a bag in the toilet which is had to be unblocked from the toilet.
I worry my house will never be the same if I use the Hoover but at the same time it would cost be more for a new Hoover and it is sealed so maybe it is clean? The thought of toilet germs makes me want to throw away ..can I resist?
Perhaps this is something to try. If you dropped a $50 note in the toilet, would you throw it away? Maybe think of the items like the Hoover and the bucket and such like actual real money. If that doesn't work, I'll give you my address and you can send it to me :D
Positive thoughts
PS... your house will be different every time you use the Hoover... cleaner!
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
26-08-15, 05:53
I think FMP has a good point there with the donation. Just take it to the shops though, don't let the vulture companies pick them up (on commission) or the thieves that steal stuff out of the donation bins. (can't stand them!) Ideally you don't want to give into the obsession as it will only makes things worse but until you can control it, someone might as welll benefit.
Well done for holding onto the hoover, that shows you can confront the fear. Yes, you can resist it, you've just proved it. You need to have faith in yourself and keep going.
I've read a paper on the pitfalls of ERP that was useful and seen a TV programme (briefly) where contamination is raised in them. The paper explained how you take the patient through the hierarchy (or ladder) from the least to worst fear. Then you take them one step on the ladder further beyond their fear to do something a normal non anxious person wouldn't do. For contamination it mentioned how this might mean putting your hands on the inside of the toilet. I've seen that on a programme too. It must sound horrible but it's only when someone has worked through a list of progressively difficult exposures to ensure they can achieve it so you are much more in control & stronger at this point. A bit like that floating %50 note really.
Do you think you could use that hoover on a small patch of carpet somewhere in your house? Even if it is somewhere you rarely go or use? How does it make you feel? Can you expand on that patch a little bit at a time until you have done the room? How do you feel now? How do you feel being in there through out this?
That might be a way to try to work through it but it's just a quick thought, you need proper guidance.
I have been thinking about it most of the day that now but today I opened the Hoover box and inspected it in all its plastic packets but it made no difference to how I felt. In fact I started worrying about the fan now and i also realised if I sold the Hoover I would have to replace everything in the wardrope as I would be giving in to believing a dirty plastic coat hanger was there. I know it was a thinner hanger and my mum said that and she said it was binned however I googled OCD help and faults thoughts can be common.
As I said in my other posts I worry my house is unclean so moving to a new one I want to be extra clean. However even if it was a dirty hanger the box was sealed yet for some reason I fear the Hoover being dirty I don't get why the OCD can be so powerful? When I wake up I think "Hoover"..last week I wanted to dispose of my iPhone and iPod as I feared my backside wasn't clean enough when I was using it so I worried touching my clothes spread germs and contaminated my iPhone. Luckily I have kept it but I was going to dispose or sell of my iPod. Cheaper items are easier to dispose of however I think now buying a new mop bucket was not required but I got it as when I came out the shower I worried dirt got in it and it would spread into my new house.
Anything stored at my girlfriends house is "safe" other than she has cats so I worry they may urinate on it.
You are right I need a solution because I'm sure even if my new house is clean there may be a situation comes up where something wasn't clean enough and I would dispose of things. A solution is maybe for everything to be exposed or contaminated in my mind as end up feeling exhausted and the thoughts ease. When it's a dear item I'm like well I can't afford to replace. I'm glad I'm not a millionaire as genuinely I would buy and replace and prob throw right into a bin.
When I google OCD help it all fits in with how I feel. Is my mind telling lies about the coat hanger or things not being clean?
As I say my house will feel clean for so long I keep thinking Hoover but I don't know why mind cares so much about that item anyway it was only £30 pounds. :doh:
---------- Post added at 16:07 ---------- Previous post was at 14:25 ----------
Update:
I ordered an upright Hoover the cylinder one is the one I worry is dirty but I was maybe going to get both types anyway what I will do is try and use the cylinder one in small areas in hope I can see it's ok :ohmy: I know it's not ideal but maybe it's better than giving in and throwing away?
The Hoover I've bought is worse than the one I'm worried about so I have been considering buying a 3rd Hoover (same as the one i' I'm worried about) and selling the other but my bank will be almost zero. I don't know why I'm so worried about this Hoover I'm obsessed about it
MyNameIsTerry
27-08-15, 07:01
This is the thing, Phil; no house anywhere is ever clean. We clean to reduce things and remove bacteria but we don't get everything in our house as it's impossible. You would to live in a sealed box and keep cleaning it because your own body would contaminate it.
You could tell yourself that hanger touched you and you touched X & Y and they were touching this or that or maybe the germs moved off them onto Z. It's never ending.
Some people become even more severe and start the bleach routines. If you ever get to a stage like that, you really need to tell your GP.
This is the crux of the issues, you can't solve it because it's irrational. You can only try to mitigate all those risks that you think about or in some cases don't because you don't even understand why you are needing to do something. I didn't know why I was using a compulsion to mitigate a risk in some of mine and sometimes I didn't even understand what the outcome would be either if I didn't.
This is where exposure comes into play. You need to be in a situation and stay in it without avoidance or using a safety behaviour. Usually they say wait until your anxiety reduces by 50% to make the exercise a success. You repeat this again & again and you do something everyday, if possible. Then you step it up a notch to the next item on the hierarchy and repeat. You keep going until you clear the hierarchy. If you get stuck because a step is too hard, you go back a step an insert a "stepping stone" to get to closer to that next level.
So, if you were an agoraphobic you may start out by standing by the back door, moe onto standing in the back door, then setting foor out, then a bit more & more, then the front door, then further from home, etc.
You hit the nail on the head with the millionaire comment. You would do that. It will never be enough because your subconscious will just plague you with a new problem. Each time you buy a new hoover, it reassures you. All reassurance is brief in these disorders and reinforces them.
What is really good to see though is that you are opening up about this and talking about tackling it. I've read your threads for a while and I think FMP has too and I hope he agrees with me when I say this is the first one where you have gone this far with trying to understand it and wanting to move forwards. In the past I have felt you have been too consumed with the problem itself and not with moving forwards and whilst you have this issue still, and with a specific object in the hoover right now, you are researching help and showing you want to get out of this. Thats a step forward for me.
OCD does create false memories. Some people believe they have run people over and worry they will be arrested.
OCD is powerful, just like any anxiety disorder. I used to have to check every lamp post on my walks, every front door number was read, every licence plate, etc. I would go back hundreds of meters to check one if I thought I had missed it and then have to do all the others again too. But I don't do any of that anymore. I won't lie to you, I do still get the thought but my mind then lets it pass through. I did that by spending time looking at the lamp post numbers because I wanted to and I told myself "I am standing here looking at this becauase I have decided to, not because my anxiety wants to make do it". I would use the Mindfulness and look at more than the numbers and examine the sounds, temperature, the wind, how I felt about this, etc. If I get that split second urge now, I recognise it as an observer and I let it go.
Imagine how much better your life would be if you could do the same with the thoughts about germs or this hoover? I'm not recovered, I'm on my recovery journey but I'm a million miles away from where I was a few years ago.
shakey1961
27-08-15, 08:30
Been reading your thread.
I came across this and I was wondering if it would help you.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34052068/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-made-me-fearful-of-everything
Been reading your thread.
I came across this and I was wondering if it would help you.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34052068/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-made-me-fearful-of-everything
Thanks yes maybe.
Last night I tried to forget about it but I was so close to ordering another Hoover again. However as I said I'd give in and think everything else was contaminated so I wouldn't use it if I believed my OCD. The box was sealed what germs could have got in? I know the coat hanger probably wasn't even the same but my head tells me if I use this Hoover my house will stink, it will be dirty, I'd have to change the carpets ect all these horrible thoughts. I guess letting it sit in the box naturalises my fear at the moment as I can use the other hover.
It seems so real though I don't know why my mind keeps going over the Hoover. There was a shirt in the cupboard I'me maybe 2/10 anxious on yet it's this Hoover. Even a brush for outside was that there but that's not causing anxiety. I think the fact I keep thinking "omg it's dirty" makes me want to sell maybe rather than the actual situation that I dismissed as the box was sealed and it prob wasnt that hanger?
It's this powerful thought about it being dirty which makes me want to sell to ease the anxiety but in this case it won't as it will be wasting money and making me worry the rest is contaminated..if only I could believe the Hoover is clean? Will it ease?
Update:
I gave in I bought a third cylinder Hoover the one I got the other day was upright. I thought having a different type would be enough to ease my anxiety. Good news is the new Hoover is only £15 more and someone is buying the one I'm worried about being contaminated.
I know i need help for this as I'm also worrying about other contents in my wardrope. I feel weak for giving in but it was so powerful I felt the urge to get rid..anybody else with OCD feel the urge to dispose of stuff? :blush:
MyNameIsTerry
28-08-15, 06:12
The thing is, Phil, a seal on a box isn't necessarily to keep out bacteria. So, is anything truelly ever free? Do the people on the production lines spray or wipe down everything before they put them in the box? So, this is where anxiety & OCD are selective and not looking at things rationally; it's tunnel vision on the obsession. Our bodies are covered in bacteria and it's in the air so just taking it out of the box means it's contaminated but why doesn't your OCD see that? It's because it's irrational in nature because if you wanted to rationally determine how bacteria could get on the hoover, you would be saying something like I have here.
Right now it's intense but yes it can ease and yes it can go to complete recovery as well. The thoughts can still come but it's the fact the reaction changes so they don't bother you anymore and those thoughts just come a lot less. I know this because I've been on that journey and for the majority of my OCD I am now out of the other side of it. What you are saying here is exactly what I was saying to myself when I was walking the streets checking every written sign or number in sight and many more compulsions.
I know how powerful it seems, it owned my life from waking to sleeping for over a year before I started finding ways to deal with it.
Don't feel bad for giving in. I performed hundreds of compulsions each day as mine were quick rituals opposed to what you are going through. In terms of me giving in, it was within the first 5 minutes of getting out of bed and probably 10+ times by then! Until you have recovered from OCD, you will give into it but each time to don't you are moving closer towards controlling it and letting it go.
Trying to forget an obsession or intrusive thoughts or worries just makes you think about them more. It's been proven in studies. It makes sense when you think about it because you are setting your mind a task and saying "mind, I don't want to think about this anymore" and what does your mind do? It starts to go to work trying to stop thinking but how can you stop thinking by starting thinking? You can't. This is why acceptance works better because you acknowledge thoughts as merely thoughts and let them go. It's hard to master and my personal preference is Mindfulness as it teaches it in stages as opposed to the many books that just tell you do it and leave you scratching your head about.
If you sell the hoover or even give it away to charity, it's giving in. This feeds the anxiety disorder. But thats ok, you can't be expected to resolve an anxiety disorder overnight so whilst you give in now, you will learn not to later and then you won't be selling or giving away your hoover.
As You know, it's the hoover now thats your main focus. If you threw all 3 hoovers in the bin within a matter of days you would be focussing on another object as another main problem. It may be one of the lesser worrying objects it turns to next or something completely new, but it will happen. Thats just OCD.
You were right my worry is something else now but I have also been dwelling on the fact I now feel I wasted money buying another two hovers.
Tonight when I came out the shower a tiny piece of toilet paper maybe fell from my under wear it was next to a coffee table yes in sealed box as I am moving so worried that's contaminated now. Also I have had thoughts like the cushions on my cupard are contaminated with the coat hanger too.
I sit all night depressed in bed worrying about this when its to intense and all I will feel is how all these different things could be dirty when I move out I know these thoughts will come. I will have "safe items" or safe areas of the house. It's mostly toilet related stuff it's not the getting ill from germs it's more the fact most toilet stuff is horrible to think about and it's not going to feel new or totally clean I know toilet traces got near it. This has happened before small bits of toilet paper and I never got as anxious I just swept it now I'm worried a lot.
So yes the way it's going I will feel everything is dirty I wish I could be more
Clean I freak even if any small traces or participles of toilet paper hit the floor when wiping if it sparks out or of the toilet bowl splashes but this doesn't worry me as much as I use to. But with the coffee table I'm now like "omg
I can't put my remote on it as its dirty" ..it's never ending this anxiety :lac:
---------- Post added at 02:18 ---------- Previous post was at 02:17 ----------
Like I am worried I will make my new home unclean of I blocked toilets or something
And had thoughts like it would be dirty for 100's of years
MyNameIsTerry
29-08-15, 05:28
Yeah, I had a feeling you would kick yourself over the money. This is common in OCD, we get annoyed with ourselves and admonish ourselves for being stupid to do it all
The thing with germs is, you can't see them. So, they could be flying off that toilet paper as you are dropping it on the floor.
You are having unreasonable thoughts based on perfectionism, a typical OCD issue. Changing your thoughts so that you accept that perfect is never what we achieve is something you can do. You need to learn that this is ok.
Your home not being perfectly clean is how everyone's home is. Unless someone seals themselves in a bubble and uses something that kills everything off, it will never be fully clean. This is another distorted thought here because you can't even seen if something is perfectly clean, you can only see what is clean to the naked eye. It's not like you are using a very powerful magnifying glass to look for microscopic dirt.
So, you need to be telling yourself that it is ok for something not to be perfectly clean. You say you want to be cleaner but I bet if we all came around your place on an NMP coachtrip we would all see an extremely clean environment and be remarking about how it's cleaner than ours.
There is an opportunity to use the ERP approach but also the cognitive side of CBT so that you consciously acknowledge that it is ok to put that remote on the table because the table & the remote will have microscopic dirt on them but thats ok and you wouldn't even be aware of it, just like everyone else and they don't care.
So do you think the germs reached into the box or am I being over paranoid? I know there will be germs on anything as its assembled ect but I'm more worried about toilet germs my head says the table is spoiled or the Hoover is spoiled? And I get that urge to throw away?
shakey1961
29-08-15, 10:13
May I ask a question Phil? How do you think the germs get into the box? Is the box sealed or open when they get in?
Could I also add, would it not help ease your fears if before and after you used or stored something, you wiped it down with disinfectant? I'm just thinking from a cost point of view. I don't want to increase your OCD, but might it help if you had some spray solution that you could wipe over whatever you think is contaminated? It would not be contaminated after you'd wiped it down. Just a thought that it may calm your fears a bit.
Phil,
After reading this and just about all your other threads, it's painfully obvious that intensive professional help is needed to help you overcome your OCD and fears. I don't know what anyone could say (that hasn't already been said) that would truly help. I know you've been on meds and have had therapy but I haven't seen a reference to that recently. It just seems you're really stuck and it's not getting better.
I truly wish you the best.
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
30-08-15, 04:26
Just be careful with using solutions to clean with, some people with OCD progress into self harm e.g. bleachig their hands. If you get urges to do that, make sure you contact your GP.
This is the thing, Phil, everything everywhere has germs on. We can't live in a world without them. Unless you live in a special facility that the scientists or medical professionals clean for you, you are living in a world with bacteria, germs, dirt, etc. This is the thing with Cognitive Distortions, you aren't seeing that you are using your eyes to look for dirt when that won't even show you everything anyway. You need to change your thinking so that you accept that these things exist all around you and that there is a normal range of cleaning and then there is an obsessive disorder distorting & skewing your thinking towards things being contaminated.
A question. How do you ensure that something microscopic doesn't fall off toilet paper than you use? Do you somehow wipe with your bottom inside the toilet and the paper & your bottom doesn't come out? Then even after you have wiped, how do you know your bottom is completely clean at a microscopic level? You don't and it won't be unless you use something to kill anything that could be there and toilet paper doesn't do that. So, how do you know that when you are standing wiping or that when you stand up, something doesn't fall off and touch the floor or your clothes? (something microscopic) You don't. So, do you immediately take off your clothes and wash them, wash the mats/carpets, clean the seat, etc? If you did, what about the things you touched before that around the room? Do you stand there naked and not leave the room until it has be cleaned as well as your body?
That might be triggering, and I apologise if it is, but thats the reality and not what you OCD is having you concentrate on. Your OCD has your attention on certain elements of the process, not the whole process. This is where things like Cognitive Distortions come into play in our thinking. We aren't looking at it like an analyst, scientist or trained person would. So, we are leaving gaps in reviewing the process and focussing on certain elements that are OCD is telling us may be a problem.
So, in challenging such thoughts to change your thinking you look at things end-to-end like above.
I bet you have got a whole load of "what ifs" going on in your heard with this. Challenge negative "what ifs" with positive "what ifs". Say "what if X isn't dirty", "what if nothing is wrong", etc. At least 3 or more for each negative.
I also think this forum lacks for OCD. I would encourage you to look at a charity such as OCD UK which has a free forum as you will find more people who have been through this who will be able to tell you what they had to do and what their therapists guided them with.
For me, the throwing away is an escalation and could lead onto more things and that needs addressing. I think you should be talking to your GP too and getting referred onto CBT for this but I also know that you can conquer this without that and with the support of others who understand. It really means taking the steps to deal with it though whichever route you take.
Since this post I have had lots of worries.
I bought a new floor mop as the other new one may have been contaminated.
I fear the toilet germs will move over to the new house. If I block a toilet or what if somebody touched something before and they never cleaned there hands enough and my stuff is contaminated?
The bin issue worries me all those germs spread around. Even the idea of anybody not washing there hands makes me worry. Blocking toilets is quite unclean so as much as I try to be clean I am making it unclean too if it won't flush. How can I ease these worries? :blush:
How can I ease these worries? :blush:
What do you think the answer to that question is? (Hint: It's not another new Hoover).
Positive thoughts
It gets no better I don't move out for a week now which is not long but I am sick of living with my parents.
Another toilet bag was used to unblock a toilet now it was left on the carpet and my girlfriend put something in the bin so she touched stuff in my room I duno if she cleaned her hands but I am worried my phone charger is dirty now now my new iPhone is dirty too.
My parents used a box from the bin the other day too and touched dishes after cleaning up cat poo. I am really struggling as I feel my parents are not that clean these days. The toilet bag issue is a big problem as my mum thinks just putting on a carpet is ok rather than disposing of it somewhere better?
I am now moving into a house in a week now I can control germs better but I am very anxious half of my items in my room are contaminated? I hate when this happens as I get thoughts like "phone is dirty" and I can have this thought for months maybe forever as I remember it was unclean. What can I do about this anxiety? Will it be better in my own house without my parents being so unclean? :blush:
MyNameIsTerry
29-09-15, 11:42
Hi Phil,
You will have more control over your environment so you will be able to manage some of it better but it will likely be an avoidance in some ways too and just feed the irrational fears of contamination. Thats the problem with anxiety, you avoid things and your bubble gets smaller.
You ideally need some time doing some exposure work so that you learn to cope with the possibility of something being unclean. The more you do that and work upwards through a hierarchy, the more you will regain your life over this.
Did you try ERP before?
Hi Phil,
You will have more control over your environment so you will be able to manage some of it better but it will likely be an avoidance in some ways too and just feed the irrational fears of contamination. Thats the problem with anxiety, you avoid things and your bubble gets smaller.
You ideally need some time doing some exposure work so that you learn to cope with the possibility of something being unclean. The more you do that and work upwards through a hierarchy, the more you will regain your life over this.
Did you try ERP before?
No not tried it. I mean I still get the urge to clean my hands at work but I have a little more control. At home the anxiety is like 10/10 but maybe 4 or 5 out of ten outside even that can affect my day.
I just fear all my items are dirty i tell myself well I will change phones or tv in a year or two anyway and eventually as the years ago on the anxiety from my parents house can ease but I am still obsessively buying. I got a new sky remote as I worried my old one had germs.
When I move out i would probably use a plunger for the toilet rather than bags so I wouldn't have this anxiety just my parents deal with it in an unclean way.
I void be doing with more help with hand wash it and showering ocd as sometimes I use a whole tub of shower gel in one shower and my hands can be rough with cracks in the skin with hand washing ..
---------- Post added at 13:53 ---------- Previous post was at 12:12 ----------
I am now worried my phone is contaminated as I put it in the phone charger my girlfriend touched before and she used the bin and I never seen her wash her hands so can't confirm if it's clean? My phone will be unclean anywhere I now
I have this but in a strange albeit similar way. If I, or someone I know has been to a funeral I can't eat the food at the wake or touch anyone's clothes including mine after. They would have to be thrown away. I think I associate anything (food, clothes etc) that comes in to contact with a funeral as carrying negativity. I have never heard anyone else having this before so if anyone else this please let me know :)
I fear my tv is contaminated and phone and the cost to replace both is around £800 or more so can't afford to unlike the cheaper Hoover. I may wall mount the tv my head says it will forever contaminate the flat? I know things would be unclean but I never seen my girlfriend was her hands she said she did but I can't be there to be sure as I was sleeping.
I will probably spend a long time worrying over this now. The toilet being unblocked and dirty toilet paper being put in a bag causes me a lot of anxiety it's very unhygienic and it's almost like dropping a phone down a toilet you wouldn't use it again you know? Or maybe people do I don't know.
Toilet water is probably my biggest worry or toilets being blocked and the germs it will spread. I don't worry about being ill from it I just fear it will contaminate everything and the anxiety has spread where I now worry and get thoughts these gems being passed around everyday life and buses shops surfaces won't be clean and who knows what else is dirty? I think of all the mess toilets can cause and it doesn't ease my worry.
Others probably don't worry but I want to throw away as I will forever get a thought of it being near dirty toilet bag or something? TV now has germs forever like it's been spoiled that's how my anxiety feels. By iPad is the same it no longer feels perfect as my girlfriend touched her feet and her feet have been on the floor in the bathroom so my screen is now contaminated like sewage if you get sewage on things you dispose of it this is how I feel does that make sense? It's awful because right now almost everything is contaminated in my life and it will cost thousands to replace :weep:
---------- Post added at 00:45 ---------- Previous post was at 00:42 ----------
Spent £200 plus on a new washing machine too as I refuse to wash my clothes in the one left in the house as it's been used.
What help are you currently getting with all this Phil ? Has your Dr suggested anyTherapy?
Everything in life is contaminated. Germs can be killed off with the appropriate cleaning solutions.
MyNameIsTerry
30-09-15, 05:26
This is the thing about how irrational anxiety can be. You are worried about contamination but your worries are based on toilet gems, not all the other germs we come into contact with on a daily basis.
Another selectivity is going to around your girlfriend. The human body always has germs on it (and in it) yet you must have physical contact with her (and other people) and again you don't seem to have a concern unless toilet germs are involved.
The recommended treatment for OCD is CBT but specifically the ERP component. I'm surprised you didn't have this when you had therapy before because it's a classic treatment for contamination problems.
This is the thing about how irrational anxiety can be. You are worried about contamination but your worries are based on toilet gems, not all the other germs we come into contact with on a daily basis.
Another selectivity is going to around your girlfriend. The human body always has germs on it (and in it) yet you must have physical contact with her (and other people) and again you don't seem to have a concern unless toilet germs are involved.
The recommended treatment for OCD is CBT but specifically the ERP component. I'm surprised you didn't have this when you had therapy before because it's a classic treatment for contamination problems.
My anxiety tells me I need to worry as pre anxiety I was always a clean person. I hate dust and grime. I fear helping this will make me unclean maybe I am even surprised other people find toilet germs acceptable or bad habits? Like I hear of people who use the bathroom and don't wash there hands that's not good is it? If it as to rate my anxiety I would say toilet water or blocked toilets and poo of urine marks would be about 9-10 anxiety not washing hands only makes me feel about 5 using an old towel to wash hands maybe 3. I always remember all the bits of the bathroom which may be unclean and there's areas or handles I won't touch without washing my hands and I often get the urge to throw away or dispose or sell items. Selling is more common like the Hoover one I regret selling it however if I still had it I would probably still worry it had germs even though in a sealed box that made no sense.
Another day worrying my new phone is boring already as I don't feel it's clean and been looking at new TVs as I fear mine is contaminated? What if she touched it with dirty hands but what if she did wash them and are clean? I'm worried these dirty unclean things will come to my new house now.
My head now says it will take years to fix this as I will have to replace everything I own before I feel things are "safe". I have a worry for almost everything I own now and think how it may have got dirty or if people touched it without washing hands.
:blush:
My only comfort can be keeping my new flat as clean as possible..
I also fear putting the tv on the will contaminate the walls as my girlfriend touched it and I can't confirm if she cleaned her hands so my house could be forever dirty. What do I do keep my tv, let the anxiety win and just place it on a stand? How can I deal with this?
With respect Phil, what most have said previously to your requests for help is to seek professional help.
Good luck and positive thoughts
Well I move in a day but still stressed I walked in and there was a toilet bag bag the bin and I worried my shopping went near it even if it never. Also getting the urge to sell my head says the paint tins are contaminated and I will breathe in dirty toilet water from the walls that's what my head says. This goes back months ago when I sold the Hoover as I feared a dirty coat hanger was in my my wardrobe even though it wasn't my head says stuff and it feels like real thoughts? :blush:
As I said in other posts toilet germs worry me. Basically I will post a few examples:
*The toilet got blocked and I used a coat hanger to unblock it and my mum said she put it in a bin. I seen a hanger in my cupboard the same colour so basically I wanted to chuck everyone out or sell it in fear its contaminated even though it probably wasn't the same hanger. I have a Hoover for when I move out now I fear the whole house would be contaminated.
*I had to buy a new mop bucket as after a shower I worried I brushed it and maybe my backside wasn't clean enough?
*I won't use a rucksack in fear its contaminated no idea why..maybe toilet germs some how?
Basically I get these thoughts all the time and loads of items in my room have bend off limits. I wouldn't plug headphone in my phone as one time after the toilet my backside wasn't 100% clean so fear my phone is too contaminated.
At the moment my OCD makes me worry every thought in my head is real
And my over active imagination is coming up with loads of scenarios where I can't use certain things. I buy new polish clothes, house brushes if I fear the old one is contaminated. Re buying is easing my anxiety but not a great long term solution...anybody else had issues like this before? :blush:
This sounds harsh, but guess what, everything isn't contaminated. What is the underlying fear?
MyNameIsTerry
07-10-15, 23:57
This sounds harsh, but guess what, everything isn't contaminated. What is the underlying fear?
That it is. That things aren't perfect.
The paint one seems real. I fear the paint is now dirty and I will breathe in toilet water is this thought just anxiety? The urge to throw away stuff just won't go.
MyNameIsTerry
09-10-15, 06:06
Germs only live on those types of surfaces for limited periods, Phil. We could provide the information for every germ that could come from a toilet and how long it lives or how it can be transmitted with the surfaces or items you are worried about but I guarantee you, it won't make this stop or if it did it would be for a very very short time with OCD.
We are covered in bacteria, we have it in us, it's everywhere BUT we developed immune systems to handle it. If our bodies can't, they very quickly tell us. So, in the past couple of years how many times have you have these possible exposure worries and how many times have you ever been ill with something due to them? How many times have you had things like sickness & diarrhea? If you contracted things from the amount of exposure worries you have, you would ill constantly.
Whilst you can cognitively take that in and even agree with it, the doubts will still come and you will worry. This is why you need something like ERP therapy which is used in OCD treatment. It's a classic treatment for contamination really. You will learn to expose yourself over & over and to habituate to the anxiety when you don't respond with compulsions. It's hard going, but it works. The exposures get harder and you work through them building up your resilience. Believe me, you can do it. I used to touch hundreds of items a day and check all sorts of things but I don't do this hardly at all now. I was severe in my eyes as it owned ny life and because of how it worked it would apply itself to pretty much any situation night or day.
You have to learn that things are dirty and accept that when you do X, it is enough to contain any possibility of contamination. ERP will teach you this.
Phil, you will never be able to control germs. Things will never be "perfect enough" for you. There will always be a flaw. No one on here will be able to make you accept that though
Sunflower2
09-10-15, 22:12
Nothing will ever be enough to satisfy your thoughts of things being clean. There will ALWAYS be something that has the potential to be contaminated. Where do you stop? A sterile room? An oxygen tank? A glass bubble away from the rest of the world?
What's the worst that could happen if you felt contaminated?
I have OCD over a fear of germs also but I have learnt to live my life along side it without it completely cutting me off from the rest of the world. I still see germs everywhere, all day long, but I've learnt that just because there are germs on surfaces etc, it doesn't mean they are bad.
Get specialist help, Phil. Writing about these horrendous fears on here won't help you come to terms with living with germs. People can give you advice but you have to be in the right place to accept it and without the support of a professional this may be very challenging for you
MyNameIsTerry
10-10-15, 10:10
Have a look at these, Phil:
http://www.ocduk.org/ocd-treatments
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-groups#zoom=6&lat=53.47602&lon=-2.31441&layers=BT
See if there is a support group near to you. It can help. I used to go to one a couple of years back and everyone was very friendly, non judgemental and all in the same boat in some way or other. It's a good way to talk to a charity co-ordinator and find out what services are in your area other than the NHS.
Well I moved but sadly it caused more anxiety today.
My old bed for the spare room the mattress had to go on the bathroom floor and guess what that's where my mum put the bin bags so I caused a fuss with moving and my girlfriend was upset so I refused to take the old bed onto the house but on the van it sat near some clothes so I am worried they are all dirty even new clothes with tags but less anxiety as I chucked the bed I know it's rash but so far lots of ocd today not good ..
Sunflower2
10-10-15, 23:39
Do you see that changing the situation just causes your mind to find new obsessions? OCD is sneaky because as soon as you get rid of one thing, it will find another thing.
I am worried as my mum came to clean my windows and the kit she used was in my parents and maybe she touched it loads after cleaning up all the blocked toilets?
Most of my anxiety is focused on germs from the blocked toilets at my parents. The result is I want to throw away e.g I still can't use the paint in fear it's been near the coat hanger I thought was in my waredrope or so my anxiety made me think.
Now I could not let anybody in my house at all but maybe that would be a bit too OCD? People will come in my house with germs and my parents house has loads of dirty floors from toilet bags which were just put on the floor. The bed I threw away touched the bathroom floor so I refused it into my house. Had it come in I would ocd the house is too contaminated to be in.
It's hard for me to get over the germs as it makes me feel everything is ruined? :blush:
---------- Post added at 11:45 ---------- Previous post was at 11:37 ----------
I am worried the surfaces are dirty off the window cleaning kit and fibres will be in the air and I will have a dirty house? She may have put it on a dirty surface in her house and now my house has germs?
---------- Post added at 11:51 ---------- Previous post was at 11:45 ----------
I now fear my whole house is dirty due to her using this window cleaning kit..I just see it maybe being near a toilet bag or maybe she touched it then used the cleaner?
The logical extension of your obsession is you, alone in a plastic tent that gets changed for a new one every day. You already know that's crazy.
You also know that everything, everywhere is "contaminated" to a degree all the time. Outside of an operating theatre pretty much nothing is sterile. Every moment of your existence you are coming into contact with invisible particles that are doing you (and will do you) no harm whatsoever. The fact that you are physically healthy is all the proof of this you need.
The only harmful things are your thoughts, that's why you need professional help.
But I fear the windows are now contaminated. They are single glazed so I know I will be replacing them soon but I fear my house is contaminated I couldn't refuse some help from my parents but taking the help means I'm super anxious all I think is the window kit may have had germs and my windows are now unclean and unhygienic even the idea of toilet bags is awful for me..but hey it might not be as dirty as my parents house but I feel this was always going to happen as already my girlfriend is causing me anxiety with things i ocd about. My other worry is someone coming to my house to fix a toilet maybe wouldn't wash our hands or if someone goes to the toilet and doesn't wash there hands.
Another worry is if someone doesn't have a clean bottom or dirty under wear going in a machine. Bags from a blocked toilet from the last house cause me most anxiety because it's toilet water and dirty tissue paper like a sewer and I fear items becoming unusable I get the opposite of hoarding I throw away..
So many people have posted suggestions, tips and the fact that professional help is your path to healing. In the mean time, I'm thinking the only way you'll be happy is if you live in one of these ;)
http://cdn.cstatic.net/images/gridfs/531b9f3ef92ea1139203117b/CasaBubble.jpg
Positive thoughts
It's very difficult.
I thought when I moved it would help but I have other cleanliness issues one my parents but there's been others in the house. I may only get relief once I get new windows in but I wonder why I let her use the cleaning kit when I knew it would make me anxious. I got new ladders yesterday to avoid contact with old ones from my parents house.
It's very hard as I use to suffer other types of ocd but in the last two years contamination seems to be my biggest fear. A tent wouldn't help but I know germs exist but well some stuff I can bear but I have this thing where random things become unbearable and I have to throw away.
I do plenty of avoiding. I don't know if that cleaning kit was near anything dirty it's one of the unknown ones. However I will find myself constantly buying to avoid borrowing things from my parents you know?
I know it wounds rash be it seems real to me. When I get a worry like this I lie in bed all day and worry. If in out I get tension round my head and I feel a constant worry it's not great. I feel I need to worry and get thoughts like people being unclean all the time going around my head..of everything I said how would others rate it would they worry? Sometimes I just like to hear how others react or if anybody had any similar worries? Someone said earlier toilet bags wasn't a practice solution so I know non OCD people would hate it too but would they be like its fine i can live a clean lifestyle out of my parents or would they be like omg things may be a bit dirty or come into contact with those toilet germs?
I can't seem to root out what part of OCD makes me want to throw away and feel things ain't good. So far it's been a tin of paint, a Hoover, a second hand ladder, a bed, clothes, mobile phone cases, remotes..I tend to sell and rebuy? Not so much throw away I just sell on buy what my head says is a "clean" new item if I don't store it someone where secure from germs I would then worry and sell again..when it's expensive items I have to let the thought head to the back of my head it eases as I know in not allowed to spend £500 on another iPhone and I only think of the germs once or twice a week vs a cheap item I may worry 24 hours per day for 2 days until I go to the shop and rebuy and feel instantly at ease?
I think that explains it that's what I am doing day to day? :huh:
---------- Post added at 21:01 ---------- Previous post was at 20:59 ----------
But right now my focus is window so it feels unbearable my head says my house is spoiled and I wish I could rebuy another or something or try and avoid those germs. They are my parents so like avoiding toilet germs was always hard as I lived with more than some since my toilet use to always get blocked? Sorry if it seems like I can't help this but all I do is worry and I feel I need to worry not help it just worry can't even read self help books as I feel I need to make sure things are clean.
---------- Post added at 21:03 ---------- Previous post was at 21:01 ----------
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3270674/Michelle-Mone-fire-OCD-sufferers-disrespectful-comments-claimed-loved-having-s-useful-business.html
This doesn't help but she maybe feels OCD helps but in a way I sort of do as I was previously a bit of a clean person I use to work as a cleaner plus my rooms were always spotless. My triggers have been sewage leaks in the house and toilets in the past 5 or more years.
---------- Post added at 22:41 ---------- Previous post was at 21:03 ----------
My dad is fixing my toilet button tomorrow as that's going a bit slow last time at my parents he got water on the floor and I'm worried he won't wash his hands so not looking forward to tomorrow more anxiety ..
MyNameIsTerry
14-10-15, 22:44
Keeping things clean & tidy is healthy.
Having a few beers now and again is also fine. Downing bottles of vodka every day is a problem.
Michelle Mone probably never even had it if that's all she thinks it is. The whole point of OCD diagnosis is that it is impacting on your your life. What she is believing is OCD is just part of personality for successful people. No wonder she got flamed.
There are elements to mine which make me better at what I do but that's because it's part of my personality. I don't want to live with constant daily anxiety though.
I looked at my old posts most my contamination worries started in 2010 not before that. Also I came to the conclusion of the windows were cleaned in my old house I wouldn't worry at all. Yet for some reason here I feel the urge to get them replaced sooner. My head defiantly you picks things to focus on more.
With all respect Phil. You truly need professional help. This forum is doing nothing to help you and IMO is just feeding your illness. With each post, you're keeping the negative thoughts alive. Ultimately, you have to take the steps toward healing. Nothing anyone says here matters if you don't act on it.
Good luck and positive thoughts.... Over and out!
MyNameIsTerry
15-10-15, 02:36
This is just the same issue expanding outwards, Phil. This is how it goes for some of us with OCD, some people have many issues with different seventies, some find they jump from one complete form to another, others focus on one severe one.
I have to admit to yourself that you need some help with this and accept how your OCD is at the moment. Learn about it, OCD charities encourage this.
I'm not sure whether you are seeking reassurance on these contamination issues because I don't see advice about it helping you which is often the case with OCD. It seems to me more worry about it but you can't seem to accept this and move onto the next stage. I understand that, I've been through it before and it's still a challenge for me now.
Would it help you to see other people with similar problems and how they are moving forward?
It may help yes as at the moment I don't see it getting better.
Right now I feel need to throw away as it makes me feel safe. Also how do I get over the idea of something being ruined can I do more cleaning to ease the worries? I don't think exposure would work for me must be other ways indoor want to touch a toilet pan and then go touching door handles or something ..?
MyNameIsTerry
15-10-15, 09:38
If you keep cleaning it or throw it away you are reinforcing the anxiety because that is a compulsion. Compulsions serve nothing in OCD other than to reinforce the need for the obsession to be there. This is one of the reasons why ERP works as it gets you to confront things in a steady way.
A therapist won't have you doing anything as anxiety provoking as touching the toilet pan and then door handles. Thats an older exposre method that is not used much now called "flooding". Flooding doesn't work for a lot of people but ERP is more successful because it builds up towards the big fears allowing your confidence & resilience to build.
In ERP the therapist may start small with just the thought of contamination, use a picture, do some visualation of a scenario, use a verbal recording, etc. They may not do that with contamination as opposed to other forms of OCD but they do with some other forms before they push onto more feared objects.
The thing is Phil, you are posting in a GAD section on a forum with not many of us with OCD. The OCD board is a bit quiet and so this is why I was wondering whether it would be worth joining the OCD forums alongside here because you will have more people with OCD to talk to. I joined here more for my GAD as I have made a lot of improvements with OCD before joining otherwise I doubt this place would have been enough on that side as it's too quiet.
I have been on OCD forums before and had hardly any replies.
The OCD forums here use to be a bit busier I notice it is more quiet now.
Today I've had extreme thoughts like having to sell the house but my head says even changing windows would still mean my house was contaminated at the window sills. Sounds crazy but my head says that and I blame myself for allowing an anxious situation to occur. I may feel a bit better with new blinds and windows but my head says I will have 25 years of a mortgage thinking this place is now unclean. To give you an idea I don't touch door handles or carpers in my parents due to toilet bags in those locations. Now had this window cleaning kit sat on the same bin where the bags were I now feel my windows are dirty.
This probably sounds silly but real to me. Who knows I may have found another reason to feel I want to sell the house but this is one I found I went from feeling happy to feeling I don't want to stay here.
I wish somebody could say something to ease but I spend another day worrying so I ain't getting anywhere.
Now toilet water is usually dirty so most people don't like it. Anything placed on these bags may not be directly unclean or visibly but the germs will get there that doesn't trouble me it's the fact I know it's happened. Do other unclean situations happen with others on here? If something toilet relegated e.g a leak happened would you worry if you don't suffer OCD? Does anybody feel anything is ruined?
Another day another anxiety day.
Today I bought a new clothes airer as my girlfriend put dirty towels on the old one so I threw the old one away even though it was new. My anxiety eased after throwing away.
Had new window quotes too however I still feel even with new widows I will get anxious as my mum may have put the window cleaning kit on the stone works of the window? I know it sounds silly but the fact these germs have now contaminated my new house is a disaster as all week I had been trying to avoid e.g not letting a bed into my house. I don't know why new Windows wouldn't ease my anxiety maybe the stone work worry? I am going to post over at OCD forums too maybe see what extra help I can get..it really is a struggle
Phil, you are not going to get any "extra support" from OCD forums. You are not going to believe anyone or anything germ-related at this stage.
You need urgent professional face-to-face help which you won't get from online forums despite people's best efforts. Continually posting about your fears is only serving to escalate your OCD symptoms.
Please will you take this advice on board?
MyNameIsTerry
18-10-15, 05:40
Pulisa,
I recommended this to Phil because NMP has very few people on here talking about OCD. The OCD forums I mentioned are charities and they don't operate like this place. Their aims are more towards seeking help than just posting and hopefully Phil will find some support from people with similiar contamination worries so that he can see that he can move forward because they can. Hopefully he will find himself more engaged in discussions about how to move forward as opposed to just worrying & reassurance.
I agree Phil needs to speak to his GP too but I think anyone with OCD needs better peer support too and there is so little of it on NMP from my experience as this place is more HA and the OCD board is often dead with only a few people posting on threads. I remember he mentioned having therapy in the past which helped a bit and he needs to seek this out again as he is spiralling and it will just get worse.
Terry, I fully take on board what you say about the OCD forums and the support they provide but it seems to me that Phil is at the point where he just posts about the severity of his symptoms and to my knowledge is not seeking professional therapy. If an OCD forum can point him towards specialist support then I think this would be a huge step in the right direction for him but purely posting about his escalating symptoms with other sufferers may not be helpful? These are only my views. I feel that Phil's contamination issues are now severe and apparently unchecked-he really needs urgent help.
MyNameIsTerry
18-10-15, 09:02
Yes, I agree with you but unless Phil is a risk of harm to himself or others, he's going to go in the queue for therapy so unless he wants to try meds he will still be doing this. If he can link up with some people faced with the same issues they might be able to support each other and offer practical steps towards challenging it. Some of the charities even have peer workgroups to move forwards, I think I put him a link in this thread somewhere about a search facility for it. With something like that it would be only about using techniques to challenge it and it's better than waiting around months for therapy. Phil clearly has a reassurance seeking compulsions going on on top of his cleaning compulsions and yes posting with others won't help at all but thats not I'm advocating, I mean talking to people in the way the charity I went to handled it where they also turned the discussion to progression with goals and some CBT stuff.
I feel that unless we can give Phil ways to challenge his thoughts, unless he finds the strength within himself or gets professional help, this is what will continue. I think Phil knows he needs help but he's getting consumed by all this and on a few occasions he has talked less about contamination and more about help so he has periods where he can rationalise more but he's clearly not managing to us.
I know how frustrating "getting help" can be and waiting for therapy is unbearable and unacceptable when the condition is severe. You've pointed Phil in the right direction, Terry, and let us hope that his family and friends can also support him to seek the appropriate therapy via whatever online or local means available to him. I just felt that continually posting on here was just making matters worse,heightening his angst and making him frustrated.
Hi Phil, feel free to PM as I am a fellow germophobe!
My fears tend to get worse when I get anxious and it becomes problematic as it starts to take over until a situation has stopped or I move on to something else.
Toilet germs are one of my big things too. If someone dropped something on the loo floor and put it on the sink or on something else I'd have spot clean with bleach or sanitise everything as I cannot risk touching something and taking the bacteria out of the toilet even if it means changing my clothes and carefully placing them in the wash basket so they do not touch anything else apart from dirty washing. If we had ran out of soap and had to go down stairs to wash my hands I'll make sure my hands touch nothing else apart from the kitchen tap, even then Ill turn the tap on with my arm if I can and then I'll bleach the taps after and then rewash my hands be it with soap or bleach (if it happens to be in a sink), rewash, dry and then sanitise my hands with Hibiclens as the kitchen towel I'll feel is too dirty.
My mobile is another thing I'm weird over. I tend to clean the screen and case with 70% Isopropanol if it's been outside the house with me.
I've thought about seeking help with it and even though it does get to me badly at times I'd say keeping my mind on more important things helps.
I'll try think of some things that help me and post back.
Thanks for the reply.
Yes I'm at an every day stage with my OCD right now my anxiety is high I go through stages where it barely bothers me. I posted about the clothes airer well today I've been back tracking in my head checking I washed every wash yet I am still worried the airer is dirty as it happened that once. I believe I get pure OCD and spikes when it's at its worst lots of triggers.
When it's every day it comforts me in a way as I quickly forget my previous worry which is good but it's bad as my head finds a new worry.
Cleaning doesn't help my OCD at the moment as I am at a stage where I feel I need to dispose to ease my anxiety. Things can be cleaned but my head don't allow me to accept that so I throw away. But yes I have lots of safe places to put washing or clothes to be honest I have so many routines that every day keeping up I give in and I have to let it go.
The worst part for me is these worries cause me to worry all day and I have a less productive day as I sit and worry all day especially if I am off work. I am sure there is solutions out there to this..:blush:
thanks for sharing.
yeah
---------- Post added at 01:46 ---------- Previous post was at 01:45 ----------
Thanks for the reply.
Yes I'm at an every day stage with my OCD right now my anxiety is high I go through stages where it barely bothers me. I posted about the clothes airer well today I've been back tracking in my head checking I washed every wash yet I am still worried the airer is dirty as it happened that once. I believe I get pure OCD and spikes when it's at its worst lots of triggers.
When it's every day it comforts me in a way as I quickly forget my previous worry which is good but it's bad as my head finds a new worry.
Cleaning doesn't help my OCD at the moment as I am at a stage where I feel I need to dispose to ease my anxiety. Things can be cleaned but my head don't allow me to accept that so I throw away. But yes I have lots of safe places to put washing or clothes to be honest I have so many routines that every day keeping up I give in and I have to let it go.
The worst part for me is these worries cause me to worry all day and I have a less productive day as I sit and worry all day especially if I am off work. I am sure there is solutions out there to this..:blush:
yeah
---------- Post added at 01:46 ---------- Previous post was at 01:46 ----------
Thanks for the reply.
Yes I'm at an every day stage with my OCD right now my anxiety is high I go through stages where it barely bothers me. I posted about the clothes airer well today I've been back tracking in my head checking I washed every wash yet I am still worried the airer is dirty as it happened that once. I believe I get pure OCD and spikes when it's at its worst lots of triggers.
When it's every day it comforts me in a way as I quickly forget my previous worry which is good but it's bad as my head finds a new worry.
Cleaning doesn't help my OCD at the moment as I am at a stage where I feel I need to dispose to ease my anxiety. Things can be cleaned but my head don't allow me to accept that so I throw away. But yes I have lots of safe places to put washing or clothes to be honest I have so many routines that every day keeping up I give in and I have to let it go.
The worst part for me is these worries cause me to worry all day and I have a less productive day as I sit and worry all day especially if I am off work. I am sure there is solutions out there to this..:blush:
yeah
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-15, 04:46
Phil,
Mine was all day everyday with my GAD underpinning it as the main problem. Reducing my GAD reduced my OCD as well but it wasn't as successful the other way around...well, it was nearly impossible in CBT. The fact you are able to have better periods is a sign that you are in some way able to manage it as opposed to it being totally out of control but I would still advice you to seek therapy for this as you want to get better and have a better life.
I would advise you to reduce overall anxiety levels to let your OCD reduce naturally. Some of the things you have mentioned can seem on the severe end but this sounds reassuring that it's still possibly at the moderate end but still seek out help. It completely domonated my life from waking to sleeping, literally every few minutes of the day there were multiple compulsions. I could barely look after myself because of it all. You don't want to go that far and then spend months waiting for help if you can get in there now.
I would very much encourage you to listen to Terry, Phil. OCD is a cruel condition which invariably impinges on the lives of everyone around you.
It's very much worth while looking at what's causing the stress and looking at how to reduce that stress as I am very much the same as you when stress gets worse the OCD rockets.
Even though it's hard to break the cycle when OCD is in full swing. One thing I have found helpful is to force myself to stop and think "the last time I didn't bleach this tap, what happened? Nothing. I'm going to leave it for now and if I want I can bleach it later but I MUST finish XYZ before because that's more important."
When was the last time an event actually occurred because you didn't follow an obsession? Think of the most minor compulsion you have and when you realise you're about to do it think "STOP! Before I do this I'll go make the bed and put the washing away and then I will come back and do it if I want to".
Not sure if it will help you but it does me.
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-15, 11:30
Thats a good strategy, wubu. It's essentially exposure at the end of the day in resisting the compulsion and by trying to give it time you allow for the anxiety to reduce whereas ERP would be aiming for a 50% anyway. The distraction element can be difficult in OCD as it can become another compulsion but what you do seems a very good way to use a bit of distraction as it's still something productive. I read about using distraction techniques with OCD when I went through the worst and they were no use for me as my compulsions were so continual and short formed that the distractions just couldn't be inserted inbetween many of them without spending hours on them.
I have been struggling today to resist buying another new clothes airer. I had thoughts like maybe more dirty washing went on it so I have the initial anxiety but sometimes my head makes up ones like the Hoover one and I get the implulse to keep replacing. Not sure if I can hold off without buying another. Problem is its cost me £7.99 each time I buy another. Perhaps no dirty washing got on the airer but replacing is my only way of feeling better.
Yes, I agree with you but unless Phil is a risk of harm to himself or others, he's going to go in the queue for therapy so unless he wants to try meds he will still be doing this. If he can link up with some people faced with the same issues they might be able to support each other and offer practical steps towards challenging it. Some of the charities even have peer workgroups to move forwards, I think I put him a link in this thread somewhere about a search facility for it. With something like that it would be only about using techniques to challenge it and it's better than waiting around months for therapy. Phil clearly has a reassurance seeking compulsions going on on top of his cleaning compulsions and yes posting with others won't help at all but thats not I'm advocating, I mean talking to people in the way the charity I went to handled it where they also turned the discussion to progression with goals and some CBT stuff.
I feel that unless we can give Phil ways to challenge his thoughts, unless he finds the strength within himself or gets professional help, this is what will continue. I think Phil knows he needs help but he's getting consumed by all this and on a few occasions he has talked less about contamination and more about help so he has periods where he can rationalise more but he's clearly not managing to us.
phil is a risk? why you say that?
MyNameIsTerry
20-10-15, 08:45
phil is a risk? why you say that?
I didn't, I said unless he is a risk to harm himself or others because thats pretty much the only thing that will mean getting help fast from the medical community when it's anxiety/depression related, otherwise you go in a queue with everyone else and severity isn't even considered (which is just stupid anyway to me).
Since I moved out I have been a bit better but it's got worse again
I dropped a dirty towel on laminate and now I want to rip up the laminate and buy a new Hoover. The towels have been on a carpet and bathroom floor before but I was going to change those surfaces anyway however the towels sometime get small particles toilet paper on them if they are on a floor near the toilet pan do I have now decided my laminate is contaminated. I can tolerate the bathroom floor however the hallway and living room were my safe areas.
I have been stressing over it for a day now as I feel my house is now dirty and that patch will always be dirty. Replacing it will remove the anxiety. Extra cleaning it doesn't help much only eases my worry a little. I am annoyed at myself for allowing the towel to drop on the floor..:blush:
Anyone?
I've had a few bad anxieties since I moved out but this is the worst as it makes me feel my new house is as unclean as my parents yes it's not a daily issue but now I feel the floor I won't be the same again I fear I need to replace all the floor more urgently..:blush:
MyNameIsTerry
24-11-15, 06:11
That a classic perfectionist issue there, Phil. We have to learn to accept that nothing is perfect. Once something is made it is only brand new for a very short period of time and nothing will change that bar a TARDIS! We have to adapt to how these things will change once we start using them or putting them in our homes.
This is the case with the floor. Cleaning it is always sufficient, remember that in many occupations environments have to be sterilised to keep people safe. If they can do that, then you certainly can by cleaning that area. Normal cleaning that is.
It reminds me of another member, Audi, who's watch was banged and despite there being no signs of any malfunction or damage, he just couldn't get it out of his mind that it wasn't perfect. But thats the trap with OCD, it was never perfect in the first place, only brand new. Once he started wearing it, this would change.
Even if you ripped the floor up and replaced it with new laminate, the minute you dropped something near that area the same fear would emerge. As long as you keep areas clean in a normal manner, the rest is about your perception due to your anxiety and this needs to be tackled, not anything else.
With my OCD my head will have a thought like I never washed my hands right so I rewash this happens maybe 10 times to the point I use a full hand pump gel a day..so i have it buy loads. Same with shower gel.
I keep getting the floor through repeated and how it's dirty, maybe toilet germs. I guess it's a good job I never knew what fell on the floor before I moved into the house..so my head continues to think the Hoover will get dirty going over that patch and spread those germs. The Hoover was used in the other room once so it maybe had germs however the idea of it getting germs more frequently troubles me..
I find my mind focuses on certain issues. Looking back I sold that Hoover and now I see when it was boxed up and sealed I don't know why I sold it but my head convinced me germs got inside. Might not make sense but this is how my day usually is with the hand washing ect not many people seem to understand like people with no anxiety don't get it when I tell them..
MyNameIsTerry
24-11-15, 09:01
OCD can be a bit complicated with it's many themes and the media tend to go after 3 main types anyway so I doubt many people really know much about OCD unless they have had it or worked with people with it or supported loved ones hence delving into it. It's the same for anxiety as a whole really but I think people more easily understand PD, phobias and GAD but not OCD and HA as the fear is more covert in it's trigger.
The good thing is you can see now that it was irrational back then. Thats an important step because people can't always do that. But now it's about being able to notice that when it happening. I think you probably do but the pull from the OCD is so strong it overwhelms. I found that. I knew things weren't right or needed but I just couldn't stop it. Many times the compulsions just frustrated me so my GAD kicked in and all the negative thoughts happened. It's never as clear cut as do a compulsion and anxiety ends form my experience.
I think with a contamination theme like yours you need to do a fair bit of work on acceptance because you can't live in a germ free world. Things will never be that clean that there isn't a microbe somewhere in your day. Human beings alone are covered in bacteria and so is our environment hence why as babies out immune systems very quickly built up to protect us from our normal environment. But when it comes to your fear you can't quite accept this because of that nagging doubt.
I know how strong the pull is. Even now I battle with my issues over routine which are very deep routed obsession issues for me.
I think if you worked on acceptance that a certain level of unclean is natural and as long as you do normal cleaning routines, coupled with exposure and reducing overall anxiety and maybe working on anxiety reduction when triggers occur, you would make big improvements.
Yes if I could lose the fear I would have no worry.
Acceptable may be key but right now I'm feeling low and depressed and lounging in bed worrying about it so doing house work is even harder as I feel like giving up and getting words on my head like my house is now a dump.
I wish I could ignore this worry but instead it seems to be making me less house proud and now I feel my house is unclean. To be fair I knew it would happen eventually as you said in other posts I still might have OCD. I've thrown loads away with my OCD since I moved in however is harder to replace floors and Windows. I feel annoyed with myself that I allowed the towel to drop as if it never I would not feel this way. The fact that the other floor is just as dirty as towels have been on it doesn't bother me my only focus is a this patch that I thought could remain clean.
I don't fear the germs harming me. It's not about that it's just the fact I know something dirty fell on this floor so it won't be the same in my eyes and anything to fall on the floor may get dirty. Countless efforts to clean it have made no difference. A new floor may be the only way I can feel relief and off course if it happened again yes I'd need another floor.
Problem is I wasn't going to replace it for a year or two anyway. It's not pleasant it's been on my mind all day at work too. It's worse as I can't just rip up the floor.
I wish it was easier I don't know how to accept this worry. Cleaning doesn't help but it should for most people. I fear letting this worry me for months until I buy new floor? Or will it ease?
You seem troubled because your house is not perfect and you have made "mistakes". I sometimes feel the same & get very annoyed. Extremely high standards cannot be maintained.
IMO you home seems fresh and clean (I wish mine was as nice!). Don't be hard on yourself. If you are concerned about the laminate, perhaps one of those steam mops might be a good idea. The steam goes in all the crevices. I understand they are quite effective.
You seem troubled because your house is not perfect and you have made "mistakes". I sometimes feel the same & get very annoyed. Extremely high standards cannot be maintained.
IMO you home seems fresh and clean (I wish mine was as nice!). Don't be hard on yourself. If you are concerned about the laminate, perhaps one of those steam mops might be a good idea. The steam goes in all the crevices. I understand they are quite effective.
Yes maybe what annoys me is I felt my house was good before now I feel it's a mess. I even started to worry the entire area is not that nice I'm seeing negatives. I don't know why cleaning it doesn't help me. Logically yes it may be cleaner than before but with issues like this I keep going over the idea of something dirty on the floor. Like a crum of bread is acceptable however a toilet germ isn't and I feel it's ruined. With my thought pattern these days my only reassurance is to replace that's what I done with the hoover and all the other things I've sold or gave away.
It does cost me a lot of money as I spend loads on shower gels and hand gels and replacing things.
The laminate thing I just keep going over it in my head. I don't know if it's a perfection thing I realise even new things are not always clean as people touch items before they buy them.
Sometimes my OCD thoughts I can forget others I find it so over powering I replace things. If it's too expensive to replace like flooring I worry for a long time. Another example is in my old house my dog wet the floor I worried it never smelt the same so I did replace it, not right away but I remember when I got the new floor the thoughts went away. I probably felt the old floor was "dirty" all the time I had it.
Some of my worries go away overnight others don't. There may have been worse unclean things in my house however my mind focuses on these. Not the germs that doesn't actually worry me. The thought the floor came into contact with something not clean does and if I could replace floor every something like this happens it would easier almost..sometimes the thoughts just don't ease like I want to sell tins of paint as I fear they are dirty same reason as the Hoover nobody wanted to buy them yet however keeping them and using this paint makes me think the walls would be contaminated.
I'm sorry to keep posting but about it as its trivial to some people but I hate how the OCD makes me depressed and feel my house is dirty even when I tell myself other areas of the house weren't affected I feel that low about it I almost don't care about the house and I feel annoyed I let the towel drop in the first place. I'm worried it will been other worry before long and I know the OCD is capable of making me think anywhere is dirty. In my parents house I avoided door handles to carpets as I posted previously.
Once something is "contaminated" that area is off limits for me I don't know how I can get over as I'm not sure cleaning and cleaning it would make any odds. My fears are something is ruined. I thought of loads of things that could go wrong in a house maybe others can post a few e.g a leaky toilet did you buy a new floor or clean it? Maybe that will help my worry.
It's quite a new worry I mean in the past two years where I have this urge to re buy things and throw away. I don't remember it ever being so bad that I sold a new Hoover to buy another. And my worry is even with a new floor if I was super careful but dropped something dirty I could have spend a fortune on this new floor and I could be back on here saying it's all been a waste and I want another new floor.
You would think even obsessive cleaning would ease the worry but for me it doesn't. Does anybody know what may be making me think something is ruined rather than perfectionism? I'm not sure I want it perfect I wish more I had a time machine where I could go back and avoid it happening but I can't.
What I can say is it wouldn't matter what the item is if something caught me and made me worry I would probably want to replace it but it makes me feel worried and depressed and as I say the OCD is costing a lot of money and when you have a house you could spend of on bills instead.
There is no middle ground with my worry it's either keep it clean or throw away. Cleaning doesn't help. I use to take reassurance from forum posts but I don't I just keep worrying. Another example is if I wash my hands and I think of say dog poo I will rewash in fear I touched it the OCD is quite rash and it's like one way of thinking can anybody make sense of that? :blush:
MyNameIsTerry
27-11-15, 07:20
The thought about dog poo after washing your hands and having to wash again is Magical Thinking, something I've had a load of. Washing your hands again is the compulsion and it only serves to reinforce the obsession. There can be a trigger of course other than the thought itself as the thought can be triggered by something e.g. an object or memory.
Perfectionism is one possibility and it's something that tends to be an issue for people with OCD in general although for some it is more the focus. If thats not you, it coulds still be tied up into other forms of OCD. I found my forms were a bit intermingled so I would have Magical Thinking + Checking + Touching + Tics + Repeating + Couting, etc all together in many of my cycles. And by cycle I mean trigger-->intrusive thought-->conscious thoughts/worry-->compulsions and then REPEAT but this is only one example and it eas very complex and changed from one thing one minute to something else another.
So, if perfectionalism is only an element then I think you need to understand more about the others to decide if they are the real issue or this is. It's obvious there is a contamination theme but there are 2 forms of contamination and how you describe things could fall into one or both. Here are some articles by a medical professional that might help you understand this better:
https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-contamination/
https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/emotional-contamination/
https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/perfectionism/
Based on those, where do you believe you fit in? Is it one, 2 or all 3? Which ones have the most elements shared with you and which one(s) cause the most anxiety for you? Understanding this can help you find a strategy.
And don't worry about posting, it's your forum too. People just are concerned that it either keeps you thinking about your anxiety or is a reassurance seeking behaviour (a compulsion with OCD). However, I know for a fact that whether I was on here or not, it would have made no difference whatsoever in my case because I would worry regardless. This is something I think people don't always see when they recommend disengaging with forums, the sufferer will just look for another outlet for the same needs (I wonder how many on here are on other forums, hence why even the most persistent posters disappear & reappear just as bad) or they will just suffer in silence. BUT peoples intentions are good, they are out of concern and they could be right, it depends on the individual. I was not on any forums when I went through my worst but I still went through it in all it's gory detail and nothing was going to change that. BUT be honest with yourself on issues like this and if something is becoming a problem, tackle it.
It's not trivial, Phil. Some people worry they hacve cancer when it's anxiety, some worry they have not locked a door, the resulting panic/anxiety/obsessive thinking can all be the same, it is distressing to you and that all that matters.
My anxiety has been poor again.
I have still been trying to sell the paint which was in the same cupboard as the Hoover. I want to use it but can't bring myself to so may have to sell it.
Also I'm worried about a piece of toilet paper which slipped onto a wet towel I put it in the washing machine but fear it's contaminated it was a clean bit of toilet paper but I never washed my hands from going to the toilet when I picked it up. Now if I threw it out I would be worried the bin was contaminated so I decided to wash but fear the wash basket, towels and washing machine are not clean. I've also threw a few things out like soap dishes due to anxiety but luckily in most areas I'm not feeling the need to throw away as much.
At the moment it seems to be won't got new every day to worry me. I try to keep a lid on it and tell myself it's not as bad as my old house. I'm finding in life there toilet germs all over so that worries me but it's uncontrollable to have it all clean this worries me so I've had to say it's as clean as possible for the moment ..I posted another thread a few days ago I was worried about the sofa too. I hope that this year my anxiety might ease a bit..
I'm struggling at the moment for example I label all my brushes one for kitchen and bathroom. I'm thinking of buying a second ladder just to change light bulbs on a "dirty bathroom floor surface" even if it was mopped up.
Also the paint thing is troubling me I fear if I use the paint it's contaminated and I will some how breathe germs in once it's been done. Rebuying paint is proving too expensive at the moment. Also I would need new brushes as I don't want to use ones from my parents house.
I considered painting a small part of the wall to see if my anxiety would be eased but I can't say if I would feel it's fine it's fresh paint or if I would worry it's germ based.
So basically I find myself rebuying which is frustrating as there's stuff I need before this and using paint may cause me anxiety. I had the same worry about windows being used by a cleaning kit from my old house a few months back that anxiety has eased a bit though.
When I sold the Hoover I asked myself why I never used it in the first place. Now it's paint always something.
I find it hard to live in the safety behaviour bubble there will always be something to make me anxious...:blush:
I suggest you put the clean piece of toilet paper in the loo.
I've visited the toilet, not washed hands & put stuff in washing machine. Not bothered cos washing cycle will do what's necessary.
I am very rarely physically ill!
It may be a good idea to have separate cleaning brushes for bathroom/kitchen because of the cleaning products & jobs. No need for separate ladders.
Paint does not have germs. Have the room well ventilated if painting otherwise it can sometimes irritate the chest.
When one moves to live somewhere new it can take time to settle in. Changes (even positive)can cause anxiety. Try to stop feeding the dragon. I know its not easy - I have my own issues. But you are safe and you have been trying to take steps to challenge the fears .
Well I'm under more stress has a horrible night. I am redecorating as I posted in another topic however I OCD about dirty washing as well it fell on the floor that was about two months ago. It caused me a lot of anxiety..
But now it's worse. Dirty washing hit a large set of drawers plus bathroom door. I worry as bits of toilet paper sometimes flakes on when they sit in the bathroom so I worry about germs. The towel which fell was not one which could have had paper on it but still worried enough to want to throw the drawers out. If my girlfiend touches them even after a good clean I fear it having germs like a toilet bowl. How can I cope with this? The floor anxiety did eventually ease however these drawers need moved to another location to lay a carpet. I'm worried where the dirty washing can go as well. So all in all not good germ situations happening a lot. When im more in control of germs I'm less anxious. It's a real issue for me I have spent loads of money replacing and it's hard to keep dirty washing out of reach of things.
I don't think my girlfriend understands my worries but im worried. Yes it's maybe not as dirty as my old house..however it's also stressful having to rebuy things as money is tight. Usually I keep everything clean or avoid washing or whatever touching stuff so I am ok howevee when times are like this I worry all day and night and feel the need to come on here how can I cope? :weep:
With respect Phil... you can't bin your house. Can you or are you getting professional help?
Positive thoughts
With respect Phil... you can't bin your house. Can you or are you getting professional help?
Positive thoughts
I just have a habbit of rebuying items if I believe they got dirty. Not the house at the moment and no not getting any help at the moment. I would find myself worrying the germs are spread by touching the drawers if I keep them..
I just have a habbit of rebuying items if I believe they got dirty. Not the house at the moment and no not getting any help at the moment. I would find myself worrying the germs are spread by touching the drawers if I keep them..
So?....... What will it take? How far will this go? How far will you allow your illness to go before you fight back?
As one who has watched you live in your illness, it saddens me :( I can't even to begin to imagine the inner turmoil you suffer from. It would bring me joy to see you fight back and regain normalcy in your life.
Good luck to you and as always....
Positive thoughts
So?....... What will it take? How far will this go? How far will you allow your illness to go before you fight back?
As one who has watched you live in your illness, it saddens me :( I can't even to begin to imagine the inner turmoil you suffer from. It would bring me joy to see you fight back and regain normalcy in your life.
Good luck to you and as always....
Positive thoughts
Toilet related germs are my biggest issue other areas of the house get naturally dirty and cleaned up. It's the toilet germs which make me want to dispose of things. I wish I could get over it it's hard to imagine in my situation someone just wiping something clean and forgetting about it because for me I feel something is "ruined" when these things happen. Cleaning it doesn't help I don't know why if I ask is it cleaner, maybe cleaner than before yes but the actual incident of making something dirty I feel the only way is to throw away remove the thought as it can no longer cause anymore doubt in my mind that's what the issue is really. I know thongs can be cleaned, I just can't live with the worries so it's easier to buy new. And yes in previous posts someone said would I just buy new lamainte and yes but anyway I can't afford to do I it doesn't matter. Touching the drawers may spread germs it will never be the same again that's how I feel..and yes I feel need to worry I need a clean house I already feel my cleaning isn't as good as others. Buying new will stop this worry keeping well
I don't know maybe the anxiety will ease maybe it won't?
Toilet related germs are my biggest issue other areas of the house get naturally dirty and cleaned up. It's the toilet germs which make me want to dispose of things. I wish I could get over it it's hard to imagine in my situation someone just wiping something clean and forgetting about it because for me I feel something is "ruined" when these things happen. Cleaning it doesn't help I don't know why if I ask is it cleaner, maybe cleaner than before yes but the actual incident of making something dirty I feel the only way is to throw away remove the thought as it can no longer cause anymore doubt in my mind that's what the issue is really. I know thongs can be cleaned, I just can't live with the worries so it's easier to buy new. And yes in previous posts someone said would I just buy new lamainte and yes but anyway I can't afford to do I it doesn't matter. Touching the drawers may spread germs it will never be the same again that's how I feel..and yes I feel need to worry I need a clean house I already feel my cleaning isn't as good as others. Buying new will stop this worry keeping well
I don't know maybe the anxiety will ease maybe it won't?
Thank you for your honesty. Again, I can only hope that you seek help. 8 years posting similar fears.... "8" years... I wish there was something I could say to help you. I truly wish you the best... Truly I do... Best wishes and as always....
Positive thoughts
Still struggling tonight..
Basically all the distribution has meant everything dumped everywhere on tables and floors now I worry they won't feel as new.
My parents want to fit the new carpet when I'm out but I'm feeling very anxious incase they misplace something or put it next to somewhere dirty e.g dirty washing basket. So I may have to delay the carpet going down not sure yet.
What might help me more is if anybody here has toilet germs and it's got somewhere e.g a surface was wiping it down enugh? If I could hear other people's examples I think it may help me come to terms with stuff not being clean?
I wiped the drawers down too still anxious and wanting to throw away. I have been stressed all day the house looks awful at the moment stuff everywhere my painting not the best I feel I've spoiled my new home which I've only bee here w few months in..
Update
I opted to just let my parents come when I was here and leave early so I could be here but my worst scenario has happened. They washed a roller tray without me moving the bread bin and toaster and disaster he got splashes over the top of the toaster so now my OCD wants to make me buy a new toaster. Don't want painted toast do I? :ohmy:
Is it possible to remove the paint with soap/washing up liquid & water?
Phil, you need to get professional help because throwing so many things away will only make the fear increase & raise the high standards even more.
A nice dettol or antibacterial wipe used on work surfaces, drawers etc is more than adequate for removing germs (even toilet ones). They are recommended for use with babies & if work surfaces are clean enough for vulnerable infants they are certainly ok for you.
If something becomes "contaminated" perhaps if you left it for 24 hours & allowed your mood to calm, a different approach may be possible.
The paint was water based splashes from cleaning out a roller but still showed white on the aluminium toaster. My worry is even if I clean it well I did but it may have fell into the inside of the toaster where the bread goes and the side bits where you lift the bread may taste of paint? I am getting the urge to order a new toaster what will I do?
MissyMischief
10-01-16, 19:47
Phil, what would be the worst thing that could happen if you sought professional help? Are you embarrassed? Afraid of medication?
My brother had debilitating, horrendous OCD. He could hardly function. It was more like rituals than afraid of contamination. He got on Prozac and went to counseling and has been doing SOOOOOOO much better.
I feel sorry for you, Phil, because you can't be enjoying life very much as you are and if you sought help, you could be feeling so much better...or even a tiny bit better!
I wish you well. Please seek help. It is your life, but it doesn't sound like you are living a very happy one.
Phil, what would be the worst thing that could happen if you sought professional help? Are you embarrassed? Afraid of medication?
My brother had debilitating, horrendous OCD. He could hardly function. It was more like rituals than afraid of contamination. He got on Prozac and went to counseling and has been doing SOOOOOOO much better.
I feel sorry for you, Phil, because you can't be enjoying life very much as you are and if you sought help, you could be feeling so much better...or even a tiny bit better!
I wish you well. Please seek help. It is your life, but it doesn't sound like you are living a very happy one.
I SO agree with this. From all appearances on this board, you appear practically crippled from your disorder.
Serious question... Most all people do things on a regular basis that expose them to contaminants. With your OCD issues concerning contamination, how do you handle everyday things like taking out the trash or shopping or changing the bed linens ect.? (who knows what are in those things?)... Do you struggle with normal things that expose you to potential nasties?
Positive thoughts
I don't fancy taking meds no.
So what should I do about the toaster? Paint near food could make me ill.
My girlfiend takes the rubbish out so i don't deal with that but I change the beds. Right now I'm worse than usual when the topic is quiet I'm coping more but when it's like this yes I struggle
I showed my girlfiend a picture of the paint splashed toaster and she wants a new one now so that's an issue more money but better than tasting paint. Might not need a new bread bin though? Nobody here could give me an answer properly so i have to rebuy.
The bread bin will wash ok, don't chuck it :)
Even I'd be satisfied with just washing it
Well the kettle was near by but unlikely to have been slashed. Bread bin ok I can clean it. Drawers really struggling tempted to buy another set as it hit that dirty washing. If it had been the side I was ok but bit you touch to open I fear germs being spread over the house or it being dirty even if cleaned. Looks like a new toaster though.
Over all not good at the moment anxiety winning but I just like to feel clean.
Think I'm going to buy new drawers and toaster cost £75 bit more than the Hoover I wasted money on before not ideal but struggling to cope :blush:
75 quid for a toaster? ?
Nope that's if I give in and buy new drawers plus toaster :unsure:
I went on holiday for 2 days left a plate in the sink basin will it be ok? Worried I need to throw it away?
Also three paint cleaning clothes were next to the new basin I got but the one in the new basing I fear is dirty as I've been away for a few days and can't remember my cleaning routine so I worry I could taste paint on dishes or am I over worrying?
Hi Phil
They will be fine, you are over thinking the situation.
Definitely!
---------- Post added at 19:40 ---------- Previous post was at 19:38 ----------
Definitely over thinking, that is!
Update I am getting new toaster but managed to resist paying double for new drawers I was OCD'ing about colours. I went for the cheapest which is a relief as atleast I have not wasted as much money as I planned to.
The kettle was further away never had paint splashes but I had to resist ordering a new one worried I might drink paint. The sprout seems pretty covered with small holes so maybe it's safe? Would I taste the paint? I am giving the toaster away to somebody else to put to good use.
Been feeling low about all my wasting.
So Phil.. with all due respect, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to allow your illness to dictate your life for the next 10, 20, 30+ years? What if this site disappears? What will you do then?
It seems, based on your post history, that this forum is just a sounding board for the irrational behavior your illness causes. It's appears it's not for advice nor reassurance but for documentation.it appears advice is rarely if ever taken on board. The truth is, nothing you say here nor the responses given will be of any positive influence unless you act on them. 10 years of posts... "10" years since you joined the site and for all intents and purposes, not all that much has changed. What will it take to get you past this? What words of encouragement do you need to get you to take the steps toward healing?
So many have said so much. What words do you need to hear to help you take the steps toward healing?
I truly and sincerely want to see you take those steps... Let us know what you need to hear to do so.
Positive thoughts
It would be unfair to say nothing has changed I joined this site and had extreme panic attacks and couldn't leave home at one point and had bad depression. I got past that stage had therapy and meds in the past but neither were that useful anyway.
The OCD is more manageable as I can still go out I know it's not great to live with but I find talking about it more useful than say than reading OCD books and information. At one point I had health anxiety and was never away from the doctor so in a way I am relieved it is just OCD now I believe some celebs have it.
Not saying I want to live with it but I find it hard as I say I am already a clean person pre OCD if u ask me what help I want well I want to be able to stop or throwing things away or selling as for the past 2 years atleast disposing due to contamination has been the biggest issue in my life. And it's not the germs factor believe it or not it is germs in a way but it's the belief something is ruined, never again the same and only new can cause relief. One would think cleaning is enough? It's not because it becomes so obsessed on my mind I will go and buy another for relief. It's hard when something takes over and I really have to buy because if I don't I could be on here for hours or worrying all day. I would say it's the same sort of worry that somebody with daily health anxiety would get. I don't need told a such about germs they are everywhere but I find the level of acceptance of something gets dirty difficult some things I am very happy to clean but random things could be anything cause me worry. Now I'm not sure why that is. It's usually stuff I may use e.g sit on, drink from, touch anything which will make me feel unclean after using or make me I'll.
I hope that makes more sense a few posters have touched on the "new" feeling this is really where I may need some help.
MyNameIsTerry
14-01-16, 11:13
Because people think Contamination means ALL things, but OCD is not like that. Severity plays a part in this as the more anxious, the more likely, but it's learnt behaviour so associations are made and disorders become more complex.
Some of my OCD was 100% every object but other subtypes weren't. For instance, my symmetrical thinking should mean I can't stand anything out of place and lined up in the right way, yes? Nope. It was selective. I had no choice but to constantly line up certain objects only and in the other corner of the room I've got piles of objects at all angles or thrown on top of each other. The stereotypical image of this type of OCD would mean my entire environment would be pristine, but it's not.
For me, it is because of a couple of things. It's a minor subtype compared to others I have and the GAD plays it's part too.
For you, it's not contamination in the unclean sense, it's about perfectionism, which underpins a lot of OCD. Another member, Audi, experiences the same about his watch.
The thing is, if you keep replacing objects you only confirm that you have to do it and never escape the cycle and you know at times even that no longer works. Resistance work is hard and it can fail if you go at it all one go as the anxiety is overwhelming, it doesn't calm down. This is why ERP plans it, the old "flooding" methods don't work for many of us anyway.
But a singular strategy can be poor, it's a matter of combined several things until you see improvement. Driving down anxiety levels more often. Trying to reduce the baseline anxiety.
Personally Phil, the thing that makes people think severe is the throwing away, the inability to break it and posting more. There are people with POCD who can't even look at a child without panic and parents who avoid their own children. There are people right now fearing being around loved ones in case they harm them. This is why I am cautious over severity with OCD, mine was really bad at one stage but who was going to help me? No one. Meds and in the queue for therapy with everyone else just as bad as me. The help just isn't sitting there waiting. A lot of the work comes back to us.
Don't sweat the years you have OCD, I've seen your levels go up & down myself anyway and you've explained how it's more manageable some times and spiked at others. That's nothing new to me. I've had GAD 9 years. There are people on here who've had anxiety for 30+ years. It matters more how it actually is, not how long or how long you've been a member of a forum or posted for. Nor everyone recovers fully, many learn to manage and part of that is peer support...otherwise all the charities wouldn't exist.
Well when you posted before I still believed it was contmination however I've put rubbish out cleaned toilets since moving out and realised its not as I wash my hands after it and it's clean. Perhaps you are right it is about perfectionism however I don't quite get why it floods off the contamination thing. People around me believe I worry it's contaminated however it seems to be more of a certain issue thing e.g the Hoover.
What I will say is sometimes I do give in but there's been the odd time I have not given in and I have got over it and it has left my mind so I see that as progress. When something new happens and I get very anxious I notice more things happen to worry me.
So yes maybe something purposely being dirty may help. I known it's not good to replace things more so now as I have a house so when I waste money I realise I have a 4 week wait until I get paid. I get perfection about colours e.g I won't buy certain colours of technology however it seems perfectionism and contamination combined are causing me a double anxiety almost. The belief it's dirty and has to be perfect makes me ditch the item. Some things can be well kept for a certain number of time then say somebody out there feet on the sofa it wouldn't feel new that's basically how my mind runs at the moment. The new feeling is limited.
For example the drawers issue the dirty towel hit the side no anxiety few days earlier hit the front and wow mega anxiety as my girlfiend may touch it, pass germs on spread all around the house so it was just that one area she could touch the side but not often so less anxiety. Sounds silly but that's how the perfection is working it can be limited to an exact area.
MyNameIsTerry
14-01-16, 11:53
It's not silly at all, it's just how OCD can be, selective. But you haven't said you need a new GF even though she touched the areas, so that's something! :winks:
Subtypes do combine. Many of mine did. I have Magical Thinking tied into intrusive thoughts along with touching, checking, repeating, symmetry, multiples, etc. Perfectionism is the undercurrent for a lot of that in me. The situation had to be made "just right" to move on. That's not so far away from your issue.
And yes, I get what you mean about them feeding each other and magnifying themselves. I found that too. Initially there were less combinations but as things progressed they quickly became more complicated and I saw all of them collide a lot of the time. I was having tics too with some of them.
If you look at the descriptions on charity websites they explain them as individual sections but when you read many of the threads by people with OCD, they have multiple forms. Some people jump from one to another as the last one calms down & goes away, some people have a wide current spread (like me) and some have a very strong focus on a specific one. The latter is often the Pure O types from what I see.
It just makes it more complicated but much of it is the same underneath and the way out of it is often not altered. Sure, you have to tweak the ERP side because of the specifics, but the holding back, the acceptable, letting things go, retraining your core beliefs to be more reasonable, etc can often be the same or at least in core elements hence why we can all understand & help each other. That's not limited to OCDer's either, much of it crosses all anxiety disorders hence there are always things to learn off people all over NMP.
It would be unfair to say nothing has changed I joined this site and had extreme panic attacks and couldn't leave home at one point and had bad depression. I got past that stage had therapy and meds in the past but neither were that useful anyway.
My Bad... it's just my perception. Your illness is truly baffling to me. Having not suffered with serious mental health issues to any degree, it's difficult to even image what goes on in your head or how you manage day to day with your illness as well as many others on this site. All I do know is if something was hindering me to the degree I see it hinder you (from what you post), I sure as hell would do anything to fight back. All I can do is compare it to my physical illness challenges, how they affect(ed) me and how hard I worked to gain back some normalcy.
Again, along with everyone else here, I just wish to see you take the steps to get better and I wish there were some words that would incite an "aha" moment and help. I admit I'm at a total loss.
Truly, best wishes to you.
Positive thoughts
Phil
I'm glad to managed to resist replacing the drawers (hope I've understood correctly!).
Re: your contamination issues, what is the very worst thing that could happen to you?
What drives the fear & obsessions. If you can tackle this, then maybe you can make small steps of progress with challenging the OCD.
Excellent reponses from FMP & Terry. Caring & supportive, but please consider seeing a professional. You do need help. L:)
The painting has caused me loads of OCD. My parents used a toilet brush holder to clean a brush they say it was a new one but my head says its dirty and my kitchen sink is dirty now?
That's what I want to get into..my anxiety makes me worry people will do things to make my anxiety worse like I get thoughts like what if someone puts dirty washing on my ps4 to annoy me and its when I'm out?
I don't take a sandwich to work incase someone tweaks with it. I eventually started using hair gel at work again after I worried someone would touch it.
What is causing this thinking? With the paint brush I will fear I am drinking toilet water off the sink surface?
---------- Post added at 19:02 ---------- Previous post was at 19:00 ----------
Phil
I'm glad to managed to resist replacing the drawers (hope I've understood correctly!).
Re: your contamination issues, what is the very worst thing that could happen to you?
What drives the fear & obsessions. If you can tackle this, then maybe you can make small steps of progress with challenging the OCD.
Excellent reponses from FMP & Terry. Caring & supportive, but please consider seeing a professional. You do need help. L:)
Sadly I replaced them it's a real struggle I believe anything that is near something dirty is contaminated and can't be cleaned.
Terry has given some great advice from the perspective of a fellow sufferer but if you want to get to the bottom of what it is that's causing your way of thinking you really need to speak to a professional. What is it that's stopping you?
I sometimes see people here who, despite much suffering, have, in their own way, got "comfortable" with whatever's causing their misery because there's something else they are afraid to confront (sometimes it's even screamingly obvious what that is) and the anxiety disorder provides a convenient buffer.
Do you think this could be you?
Can anybody help me avoid rebuying more stuff?
I sat on a seat and when I went to the toilet there was a mark there as if my backside was not clean. I put my iron on this chair so I'm worried I have to throw the iron away and underwear? I already got a new toaster and kettle.
Wasting so much money right now the neighbour wanted to borrow our shed so I was nice offered it now they are coming in that often I have to purchase a new shed at the cost of £200.
I fear the cost of wasting anxiety related and non anxiety related is causing me much stress.
Not sure I can resist ordering stuff and replacing as my anxiety is bad. I've been stressed about the shed too so have to buy one exactly the same don't like window ones so that's £300.
I hope it's just a phase but I feel everything is going wrong and replacing is hard when I can't afford to :ohmy:
Update: I ordered another iron as I could not resist. The last one got burned so had to be chucked so this is another due to the OCD worry it was on a dirty chair.
That's now a Hoover, drawers, irons, toaster and kettle been replaced as it's the only relief I can get from my worries.
MyNameIsTerry
21-01-16, 08:26
Phil,
That mark could be anything. Did it smell like poo? If not, it could just be something you have brushed past and got stuck on you. It doesn't have to be anything unpleasant like a bodily fluid.
When it comes to the shed, try to remember the worries you had a week or so ago about your flooring. You rationalised that you cannot simply rip all that up and change it. It would be pointless anyway since the floor will be "used" the minute any of you step on it and for some people even more severe than you, this would be a problem.
So, if you can do that with the flooring, you can do it with the shed.
There is a rule I see people talk about on the HA board, a 2 week waiting rule before they run for the doctors. I think you could try this yourself because with your flooring, it passed. The shed is a big expensive item and what happens the minute a bird flies over and poos on it? Will your perfectionism dictate needing to change it? If you got into that cycle, you would be up to your neck in debt.
I think when you are faced with these worries it is going to need you to stand and face them and tell yourself "this is just my OCD, it does not dictate to me". Use things like that along with acceptance or use it in a pure challenging way like in CBT but you really do need to work on it now as you are progressing into more expensive items that will make it hard for you.
The thing is though, if you could deal with not forking out a load of cash on the floor, why do you need to on the shed? Why can't you beat the shed urge? I think you can.
---------- Post added at 08:26 ---------- Previous post was at 05:18 ----------
Phil,
Have you seen the threads by Audi on the OCD board? I think he has some similar issues to you and I wonder if it would help you to see what advice you would give someone like him? It can be easier to give advice than take it or work it out for ourselves as we don't have the same attachments. I know I find it far easier to try to help others than myself.
It was definaley a poo stain the reason is it only happens beforen I need the toilet. Only have this issue once every few months.
Yes perhaps I should avoid buying it's become a habbit it's easy for a courier company to come and deliver big items so I just buying. No debt but it's my savings im eating into and my next wages so I have little money to last.
The shed issue is annoying because i could keep it however the person almost removed it from my garden to use so I thought buy a new one. The OCD part is I can't have one with a window and the exact same shed costs £100 more.
And I've not seen Audis topics but perhaps it would help. I know I can't keep it up I feel I'm on a marathon I order something and unlike the Hoover issue I did resist the other items in the cupboard this time I just want to keep replacing. The iron was on the chair so I think my clothes may smell of poo if I use it I know that's rash and maybe people don't always have 100% clean backsides anyway it's just the fact I know it happened would cause me such anxiety the iron plate never touched it just bottom part. I'm happy to give stuff away and if they use it I don't feel any anxiety it's just if I keen stuff if that makes sense?
My latest concern.
In my cupboard a light bulb blew and smashed. Some glass fell near a chair, two hovers and new light bar that's boxed. I'm now worried I will sit, touch glass on feet from Hoover or consume glass from a new light which will hang from the cealing.. This is how my anxiety works will the stuff still be ok?
MyNameIsTerry
23-01-16, 04:44
What you need to do is consider how rational this is. So, how can you consume glass that has smashed from the lightbulb? It has fallen on the floor, the chair, the light bar box and the hoovers. How can it move from there into/onto something you will eat or drink? How can it do that unless you physically transfer it intentionally to sprinkle on your food or drink?
Challenge it with logical questioning.
What is the worst that can happen with it touching your feet or you sitting on shards? You either cut your feet or bum and seek medical assistance for a very minor issue that will be easily dealt with or it may touch your clothing and fall off somewhere else.
As long as you clean up the area, pick up the pieces you can see and perhaps hoover the floor, it's very unlikely there will be anything left at all and if there is it will be so tiny that it just wouldn't be an issue.
It sounds to me like your neighbour may be taking liberties. They shouldn't be moving anything (including contents) without your permission. And if anyone should be buying a shed, it is them.
When it comes to clearing up glass, I find a sticky lint roller(for picking up pet hair) useful.
Also a slice of fresh soft bread can pick up little shards. Then dispose of it separately in a plastic bag (sealed)!!
---------- Post added at 12:25 ---------- Previous post was at 12:09 ----------
On second thoughts, probably not a good idea to use the bread in your case! Its would only play on the imagination! The roller & a vacuum should do the job exceedingly well. That's being really ultra cautious! Most people would take Terry's clearing up recommendation.:)
Or damp kitchen roll picks up glass shards well :)
In the cupboard I also had hair clippers so I fear getting my hair cut and there being glass on them? My fear is tiny fragments being on the items.
My other random worry is I got a costa tea mug for Xmas and I went to wash it and it had that dried glue at the bottom attaching the plate and the handle had string attached by glue so I fear being ill if I drink from the mug?
MyNameIsTerry
25-01-16, 04:54
They wouldn't be able to sell them without a serious health warnings if that could happen, Phil. And besides, manufacturers look for safe solutions to get their products to market, it's a bit requirement in the UK.
Tiny fragments would due nothing to you, glass breaks down. If they are so small that you can't actually see them then there they may also not even be there and even if they were, they won't be capable of damaging your body.
Update more stress
It's the towel thing again about dirty towels..I put them in the wash basket but feared I touched my clothes dryer despite it being a couple of foot steps further foward so I wanted to buy a new one and today I feared they hit the radiator as I faced it but I'm
Sure I never touched it but my mind makes me worry I did so basically near miss things with the towels cause me anxiety not just the drawer issue where I threw away.
After the radiator issue I've opted to keep the clothes dryer because I know I could buy another and worry again so I'm not getting anywhere fast I just feel depressed about it all :blush:
I'm still worried spent all day sat in bed worryingly washing and radiator are contaminated I am sure it never hit the radiator but despite going over it and showing myself I would have to actually step forward to be right on it I can't convince myself and it's like I want to worry about this all day long..the same towel issue made me buy a new chest of drawers..
I might now worry EVERY item of clothing I wear is forever dirty until I get new radiators and a clothes horse?
Very few things are perfect or pristine.
I sometimes think I may have spoilt/contaminated something but usually when I am tired or very stressed.
I dont think the towel touched the dryer/radiator, it was just your very anxious mind triggering when there was no need to. - playing tricks! Doh!
Very few things are perfect or pristine.
I sometimes think I may have spoilt/contaminated something but usually when I am tired or very stressed.
I dont think the towel touched the dryer/radiator, it was just your very anxious mind triggering when there was no need to. - playing tricks! Doh!
Yes you are probably right.
I hate the way this plagues my life one of my issues is unlike some with OCD who bleach a surface ect cleaning doesn't help only throwing away.
I have accepted it never touched the heater but only for an hour or so before I start worrying. The whole issue is here my mind convinces me something happened and I realise only the odd time in this whole situation would anything need thrown away yet I've disposed of hooves to drawers.
A dirty towel fell on the floor the other day as it wasn't near the toilet bowl and defo had no toilet paper near it it caused me little anxiety. The radiator issue seems to have stemed from the earlier thing with the clothes airer.
From this whole experience I don't get why my mind homes in on one specific issue. As earlier posts have been saying things like bins don't worry me too much yet have germs. Toilet, paint, glass, chemicals like bleach cause me most anxiety.
So I have a few issues how do I take my mind of the worry?
How do I accept cleaning is enough?
And perhaps I need to tackle the OCD a bit more as it is becoming an issue where I avoid germs but I find germ situations coming up e.g dog poo on a shoe would cause anxiety so I need some real time coping methods rather than sitting on here worrying 24/7 as believe it or not when a worry like this takes over it can be days and days (until the next worry).
I seem to lack trust in myself too if I think no it never touched it I don't believe myself based on a single thought sometimes I can fight that off other times the thought wins. It's complicated as logically I have no recollection of it rubbing any surface so the actual thought when i started at the radiator and said oh that's close seems to be my anxious mind saying this and I believe it..I know it sounds silly but I know I have to gr and tackle this contamination fear ..:ohmy:
From this whole experience I don't get why my mind homes in on one specific issue. As earlier posts have been saying things like bins don't worry me too much yet have germs. Toilet, paint, glass, chemicals like bleach cause me most anxiety.
So I have a few issues how do I take my mind of the worry?
How do I accept cleaning is enough?
And perhaps I need to tackle the OCD a bit more as it is becoming an issue where I avoid germs but I find germ situations coming up e.g dog poo on a shoe would cause anxiety so I need some real time coping methods rather than sitting on here worrying 24/7 as believe it or not when a worry like this takes over it can be days and days (until the next worry).
Tbh Phil I really do think that is you best course of action. Good luck and keep us updated
I fear the radiator is already contaminated and want to replace it but that would mean a new heating system.
Before long the whole house might be contaminated. :ohmy:
I'm worried again can anybody help?
The hair cutting set I have in the cupboard was near a bulb which blew and smashed so I fear when I get a hair cut I might get brain damage?
My second worry I had a Kit Kat tonight and worry I swallowed a bit of the foil don't think I did but what if I did?
My other worry is I put a cover on my garden bench it was in the cupboard sealed but I fear if I sit on the bench I will get glass up my backside? :ohmy:
I'm worried again can anybody help?
The hair cutting set I have in the cupboard was near a bulb which blew and smashed so I fear when I get a hair cut I might get brain damage?
My second worry I had a Kit Kat tonight and worry I swallowed a bit of the foil don't think I did but what if I did?
My other worry is I put a cover on my garden bench it was in the cupboard sealed but I fear if I sit on the bench I will get glass up my backside? :ohmy:
If I didn't know your history, I would think you were joking but sadly I know you're not :(
I hope you feel better soon.
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
02-03-16, 04:41
I'm worried again can anybody help?
The hair cutting set I have in the cupboard was near a bulb which blew and smashed so I fear when I get a hair cut I might get brain damage?
To do that it would need to not only cut through the layers of skin but also cut through your skull. It takes a very significant blow to break through the skull, it's there to protect the brain from the many blows we receive to the head through our lifetimes.
My second worry I had a Kit Kat tonight and worry I swallowed a bit of the foil don't think I did but what if I did?
Your body will attempt to digest it, find it can't and will expel it in your faeces. It won't be a problem, I've done it myself a few times.
My other worry is I put a cover on my garden bench it was in the cupboard sealed but I fear if I sit on the bench I will get glass up my backside? :ohmy:
Again, it would need to penetrate the layers of clothing and even then it would most likely only touch the skin and not go inside the rectum. Skin can handle small shards of glass without cutting e.g. look how sandpaper can give a paper cut effect if you rub it over your skin but it doesn't go deep.
These are just the irrational worries found in Contamination OCD. Rationalise it - you know the first one is truly impossible for a start.
Yes I have been having many irrational thoughts lately like even today I flushed the toilet but the button stayed down so I went to wash my hands and the water pressure came out fast and I was soaked so I feared it was 'toilet water' coming from the tap.
The glass one has worried me for a few weeks as I've yet to get my hair cut.
Also often I worry the washing has not been washed I usually resist rewashing it now however I always worry it's not been washed. Sometimes I over load it with washing powder for extra smell for reassurance.
Another rash example is I got a lift last night and I purchased cold meat I refused to eat it as somebody was sick in the car maybe over the seats so I fear I might get ill..
It's worries like this which I get daily right now.
Xtrastrongbint
02-03-16, 16:54
Hi Phil
You need to see a professional about this. Your gp perhaps? You know that most people don't worry like this? Honestly, if you came to my house you'd be horrified right now. It's a mess! Dogs, sickness, broken toilet seats, you name it...but you know what? I'm not worried about it. I've always been a bit of a slob and I have never ever caught an illness from the germs in my house. Your answer is not too clean stuff or sell it. The answer is to get professional help. Your worrying is out of control and it's encroaching on your daily life. No amount of posting on here or asking whether things are clean or not is going to help. A professional will help to stop you worrying about stuff that most people don't even think about. Honestly dude, you need to see a doctor. Best wishes to you :hugs:
Phil, It's horrible to think of you going through these awful irrational thoughts. It's like you feel any contact with germs or glass or whatever else is going to make you ill or worse. It won't, but no matter how much I tell you that, you're not going to listen to me or anyone else on this forum. Just know that I feel for you, and hope you get to a point where these things don't dominate your life like they are doing. Like others have said, you need to share this with professionals. As a minimum, your GP, but preferably if you can, a psychiatrist. Know that people do recover from this level of distress to live free of these kinds of stresses. All the best, Paul
MyNameIsTerry
02-03-16, 22:44
Hi Phil
You need to see a professional about this. Your gp perhaps? You know that most people don't worry like this? Honestly, if you came to my house you'd be horrified right now. It's a mess! Dogs, sickness, broken toilet seats, you name it...but you know what? I'm not worried about it. I've always been a bit of a slob and I have never ever caught an illness from the germs in my house. Your answer is not too clean stuff or sell it. The answer is to get professional help. Your worrying is out of control and it's encroaching on your daily life. No amount of posting on here or asking whether things are clean or not is going to help. A professional will help to stop you worrying about stuff that most people don't even think about. Honestly dude, you need to see a doctor. Best wishes to you :hugs:
This isn't unusual at all in OCD. It's not just about fearing big things, a lot of it manifests in the small and highly irrational as can be seen by OCD sufferers like Phil and myself.
Xtrastrongbint
02-03-16, 23:09
Hi Terry - I know it's not unusual in OCD - I have stupid intrusive thoughts and then panic (usually at the most ridiculous unlikely stuff) so I understand the irrationality but I thought that maybe, as Phil hasn't seen a doc yet that by seeing that it is totally irrational that he may be persuaded to go to his gp and get it sorted because, as we know, all of the reassurance in the world rarely works but maybe I'm over simplifying it? :)
I have another worry please tell me I'm not being irrational about it I just had to put my chop shop dinner in the bucket.
I went in and they were flash spaying the counter next to the food being cooked and they spayed the surface then laid my meal down on it. It was in a box but hardly the point?
---------- Post added at 21:09 ---------- Previous post was at 20:54 ----------
Hi Terry - I know it's not unusual in OCD - I have stupid intrusive thoughts and then panic (usually at the most ridiculous unlikely stuff) so I understand the irrationality but I thought that maybe, as Phil hasn't seen a doc yet that by seeing that it is totally irrational that he may be persuaded to go to his gp and get it sorted because, as we know, all of the reassurance in the world rarely works but maybe I'm over simplifying it? :)
I wish it was irrational but to me I just worry my biggest fears are toilet germs, glass and cleaning products or general germs like from a bin.
I don't get much more anxiety at the moment but my life daily I have these worries. :blush:
I have another worry please tell me I'm not being irrational about it I just had to put my chop shop dinner in the bucket.
I went in and they were flash spaying the counter next to the food being cooked and they spayed the surface then laid my meal down on it. It was in a box but hardly the point?
When you go to a restaurant to eat, the tables are sprayed and cleaned before you sit down. Sometimes they clean them just before you sit down and I've had many times when the waitress has done so while we were sitting and then laid napkins and silverware down and soon after the food. They do this with the counters and other areas in the restaurant as well. So yeah... sorry... pretty irrational and a waste of food :(
Positive thoughts
When you go to a restaurant to eat, the tables are sprayed and cleaned before you sit down. Sometimes they clean them just before you sit down and I've had many times when the waitress has done so while we were sitting and then laid napkins and silverware down and soon after the food. They do this with the counters and other areas in the restaurant as well. So yeah... sorry... pretty irrational and a waste of food :(
Positive thoughts
Yes it happens in Mcdonnalds I could be eating and somebody comes along with a spray bottle and starts slashing but it never bothers me I've not had it happen in a chip shop infact I guess I would rather not know what's cleaned in restaurants or takeaways as like tonight I wouldn't eat it. :huh:
The reason was I thought if I ate it being near flash spray I would be ill from the chemicals.
Xtrastrongbint
03-03-16, 22:00
Hi Phil - No you wouldn't be ill from it - have you spoken to your doc about these fears?
Hi Phil - No you wouldn't be ill from it - have you spoken to your doc about these fears?
I have in the past but not recently sometimes it's not that bad well some days but there's times my worrying gets so bad I come on here ..
Xtrastrongbint
04-03-16, 01:13
So I reckon you should go back - it sounds like it's effecting you a lot x:hugs:
Update things no better sadly I'm still wasting money I don't have meaning I'm skint every month.
This month I gave in and bought a third hair clipper set as the other two were in a cupboard where a light blew my earlier post I was worried the glass would cut my head
I bought new boxer shorts and joggers due to a tiny splash of uring hitting them. So the cost of my expensives has been around £50-60.
At the moment trying to resist buying two new suitcases as they were also in the cupboard.
I repurchased a wash basket not sure why but I have a few crates and need another one as a towel had some toilet issue on it after it was cleaned. It was either from a tissue in a pocket or possibly been washed with a dirty speckle which has been on the bathroom flop this happens quite often where bits of toilet paper make me anxious. Now I'm worried a surface is contaminated, clothes airer and radiators all dirty and I will forever be dirty?
The other month when I was sick I binned all my clothes and rebought them so cost was about £30. Once i throw something out I instantly rebuy.
Another one is I got my fence pannel replaced as it came down but the posts were taller than the other so I've drawn up a budget for an entire new fence.
In general i feel need two hovers, two irons, two kettles just to be safe. The toilet germs and glass are my biggest concerns if I believe toilet germs have got on it its binned. I did resist a towel I half washed my hands touched the towel and was tempted to bin it but I held off. I fear these tiny toilet tissue pieces quite a bit as they could have poo germs I mean I know maybe people wash clothes with poo stains or something but this worries me more and I think about the tissue disolving and everything just being dirty. Cleaning a surface doesn't help me I need new for old which I don't see many with OCD battle with it's always just extra cleaning?
---------- Post added at 11:12 ---------- Previous post was at 11:05 ----------
Other things like I don't drink milk after 2 days anymore aswell incase it's out of date
Biological washing powder kills all germs though. And washing clothes at 60 degrees or above (if they can take that heat) kills germs too :)
MyNameIsTerry
17-03-16, 12:49
Yes it happens in Mcdonnalds I could be eating and somebody comes along with a spray bottle and starts slashing but it never bothers me I've not had it happen in a chip shop infact I guess I would rather not know what's cleaned in restaurants or takeaways as like tonight I wouldn't eat it. :huh:
The reason was I thought if I ate it being near flash spray I would be ill from the chemicals.
Someone else on here mentioned this worry on the HA board. I can remember pasting in a load of snippets from manufacturer websites and health & safety. I will see if I can find it. Basically, they use food safe chemicals that will not harm you.
How long do you resist your need to replace things for, Phil? Your compulsions obviously mean you have no choice but to ensure the obsession for a certain amount of time out of practicality alone. So, in that time is it all constant or does it come & go? Do you get intrusive thoughts then when you are out and have the opportunity to replace things?
Until you replace them how do you cope?
Remember your resisted the urge to replace your flooring, you can do the same with the fencing. There is no contamination issue here so that proves that there is some perfectionism behind this.
Someone else on here mentioned this worry on the HA board. I can remember pasting in a load of snippets from manufacturer websites and health & safety. I will see if I can find it. Basically, they use food safe chemicals that will not harm you.
How long do you resist your need to replace things for, Phil? Your compulsions obviously mean you have no choice but to ensure the obsession for a certain amount of time out of practicality alone. So, in that time is it all constant or does it come & go? Do you get intrusive thoughts then when you are out and have the opportunity to replace things?
Until you replace them how do you cope?
Remember your resisted the urge to replace your flooring, you can do the same with the fencing. There is no contamination issue here so that proves that there is some perfectionism behind this.
The time varies it can be hours or days or weeks. As you say the odd thing I would forget and not replace like the flooring. Usually like the Hoover I would try and resist but eventually gave in. When I buy I have to justify my reason for buying it e.g but a more expensive hair set or Hoover which I've done on both occasions so money wise I find it costing me loads. I rack up loads of delivery charges as I order so much it's not practice to go to the shops.
Well I cope because I'm worried about other stuff and my head will switch to say the hair clippers I think maybe I will use them but I got the thought about it cutting my head and I opted not to risk it. I balanced it up if I used it once but I would still get anxious again.
Regarding the washing I find myself bothering less about fixing it out and leave it to my girlfiend as I realise I get so anxious it's a losing game sometimes I would want to replace so much my head becomes over loaded and I have to keep some stuff.
If I could replace new for old for everything I would but sadly can't. To be right now if I was OCD about cleaning but that meant I never replaced that would be better as I wouldn't be buying even if that's not the cure.
Problem is I don't earn enough these days when I have a house to keep buying so it makes this worse when I go and spend £60 replacing stuff. :blush:
Update:
Had a blocked bath not sure if I posted where elsewhere but basically the issue is my parents again have less care about germs as I mentioned many times before.
My worries are to replace again:
My parents sat on a dining room chair and sofa after sitting on the bathroom floor and toilet seat when it was placed down..bad news GERMS especially on a toilet seat so I fear I need a new sofa and chair..
So when I sit down now I could have germs all over and I try and keep these surfaces clean however when others come they maybe care less with hygiene.
Now the issue hasn't been fixed so I need a plumber out so I may get more anxious later.
My bad also used a measuring tape and screwdriver that was on the floor and toilet so I shall replace this too. :ohmy:
---------- Post added at 18:09 ---------- Previous post was at 15:36 ----------
My girlfiend pointed out I sit on a toilet to go and still use sofas this is very true but I would have trousers on after it but I am googling direct contact with germs and sofas now because the difference here would be only inside of your clothes would sit on the sofas not the outside so the germs are there more if you get what I mean? How I I avoid buying new sofas now? Every area of my house could soon be contaminated?
Update been up at 5am worrying again my dad sat in the seat but it was a leather chair he sat in so I moved them around and leather can be cleaned better my sofa is fabric so I'm worrying I will have it take another financial hit and order a £400 replacement.
I'm trying to tell myself how many people who may sit on a toilet base and still sit elsewhere perhaps to clip toe nails however people who do this must have a dirty house.
To me the sofa is a harbour of germs. Again like my other worries it's the outside clothing which touched when you use the toilet you will have clothes on so only inside can touch the sofa.
Past week has been really bad had to buy new washing basket as I found a piece of toilet paper on a towel. The rebuying is taking a big financial hit on me right now sometimes I can resist however right now I'm at the stage where buying is my only anxiety relief. It's so bad that I won't let people visit sometimes I know someone who doesn't shower so I fear the day he comes to my home or I couldn't have people who wanted to say change a nappy on a floor obviously if I have a family this is going to be a major issue with germs perhaps somebody could put my mind at ease on this?
These toilet based germs really concern me. If say somebody put there hands on a kettle after not washing there hands that would be it binned. If say a raw sassuage was near a packet of biscuits I would bin both.
Probably sounds crazy to some people but I've been buying new, throwing food away ect past week or two and realise it's very costly when I check my bank balance as I hardly earn bucket loads so wasting makes things all the more guilty. I probably have more worries I mean I jump between worries right now.
I don't want a perfect sofa or something my mum could have used those clothes on her sofa after sitting on her seat but I wouldn't know so it wouldn't bother me. What actually troubles me is situations where I see it happen my head goes "oh no I can't live with that anxiety I can't keep it ..bin" and I tell myself "maybe it's ok to keep it" 9 times out of ten I get my card out and order a new item. The sofa could have been dirtied 50 times by germ people however as I say witnessing it happening causes me the major anxiety.
What may help is if people could tell me some things they do which may be unclean e.g putting a dirty top in a clean clothes drawer as for me I would order new but for other people they would find this acceptable.
I've had a lot go wrong in my new home soon so the anxiety has been high but I always knew would a house this would happen and whenever it did a year or two years down the line these things worry me. My parents have less of a care to germs some people come and do jobs without mess. But instinct tells me not to pay if my parents can fix the job. A few months back people may remember it was paint I ended up buying a new toaster and kettle. I had a sealed Hoover and sold it prior to moving out as I had a dream the dog pooed near it well I think that was the reason but this is all making me make rash choices to sell and throw away I'm not sure others with OCD can take such a financial hit like me :blush::doh:
---------- Post added at 06:29 ---------- Previous post was at 06:26 ----------
So past week urge to throw away has been:
Food
Suitcase as glass may have went near it
Sofas
Screwdriver and tape measure as it went on toilet when trying to fix it
A dining room chair
Repurchased trousers as urine hit them
Ordered new underwear for same reason
Rebought clothes box
Purchasers new hair clipper set this was my third one in 5 months due to anxiety
MyNameIsTerry
22-03-16, 07:27
My girlfiend pointed out I sit on a toilet to go and still use sofas this is very true but I would have trousers on after it but I am googling direct contact with germs and sofas now because the difference here would be only inside of your clothes would sit on the sofas not the outside so the germs are there more if you get what I mean? How I I avoid buying new sofas now? Every area of my house could soon be contaminated?
I think your GF is right. You sit on the toilet, pull up your underwear and trousers and then sit on the sofa just like everyone else does. If others were sitting on the toilet and then sitting on your sofa bare arsed then transferring germs would probably occur but not if they have their clothes on since the germs would be coming off their genitals & bottom and onto their underwear mostly.
I don't understand how you mean only the inside of clothes would have contact with the sofa, it would be the outside of the clothes. Typically the outside won't have toilet germs as much due to the lack of skin contact that would be seen with underwear.
---------- Post added at 07:12 ---------- Previous post was at 07:11 ----------
Repurchased trousers as urine hit them
Ordered new underwear for same reason
Urine will always be hitting your underwear, we don't always get all of it and can have leaks anyway. Also, germs will be coming from your bottom onto your underwear. These are the real reasons we are washing them.
---------- Post added at 07:27 ---------- Previous post was at 07:12 ----------
The time varies it can be hours or days or weeks. As you say the odd thing I would forget and not replace like the flooring. Usually like the Hoover I would try and resist but eventually gave in. When I buy I have to justify my reason for buying it e.g but a more expensive hair set or Hoover which I've done on both occasions so money wise I find it costing me loads. I rack up loads of delivery charges as I order so much it's not practice to go to the shops.
Well I cope because I'm worried about other stuff and my head will switch to say the hair clippers I think maybe I will use them but I got the thought about it cutting my head and I opted not to risk it. I balanced it up if I used it once but I would still get anxious again.
Regarding the washing I find myself bothering less about fixing it out and leave it to my girlfiend as I realise I get so anxious it's a losing game sometimes I would want to replace so much my head becomes over loaded and I have to keep some stuff.
If I could replace new for old for everything I would but sadly can't. To be right now if I was OCD about cleaning but that meant I never replaced that would be better as I wouldn't be buying even if that's not the cure.
Problem is I don't earn enough these days when I have a house to keep buying so it makes this worse when I go and spend £60 replacing stuff. :blush:
Easy access can be a problem with OCD. If you have easy access to a watch or phone, my therapist had me putting it somewhere where it took a load of effort to get it. This did help. But with yours spanning weeks rather than being so immediate like mine was, this is more problematic.
Part of me wonders whether some action to remove your ability to make purchases could help, but this is clearly something for a trained therapist. Replacing items with 2nd hand could be another way or even purchasing things in worse condition than the ones you are getting rid of but whether that is enough to tackle what is driving this, I'm just not sure.
The things is about houses, Phil, they are full of germs. All we can do is clean things properly and keep doing it, within reason. The rest we have to accept.
If a sofa really was as bad for germs as you are thinking, why aren't we all getting constantly ill from them? They would be a worldwide known cause of infection, but they aren't.
I think I see what you mean about the outside of clothes now, it's when they are in the bathroom and the outside of the clothes touch the toilet. But you are forgetting about how the inside is contaminated by their own bodies. So, I take it you think the inside of the clothes should touch the sofa only? But don't you see how reversing the clothes won't achieve that either due to the fact our own bodies are contaminating that side?
When you say weeks before you give in, is this relentless 24/7 anxiety or does it come & go. If it comes & goes, what causes you to finally give in?
How common is is people sit on toilet lids and go on sitting on other chairs or seats?
I'm OCD about OCD i suppose maybe some perfection in it. If I use the toilet yes the inside the trouser is gem based but the outside has not touched the toilet. What happened here was she touched the toilet seat with the outside of her clothes then sat on the sofa. It would have been more anxiety for me if it had been the actual toilet seat where you sit but it was just the lid. That said I don't always clean the lid so panic about germs.
Perhaps when I sit in the sofa toilet germs seap through clothes so it is the same but my head says direct contact was worse. I had similar issues where I had a lol mark and sat on a chair now I only use this chair when I've been to the toilet. I won't sit on the sofa if I go to the toilet usually. Another example is I worried my ps4 remote was dirty as a friend used my toilet touched the controller and maybe never washed there hands well that's was my fear?
I refuse to get pets incase they poop in my house too.
So what I can say it's not the first surfaces have worried me but I fear this less than the toilet bag unblocking issue at my parents house. I accept germs are more controllable here but obviously when they come much worse. However as I said in the past it's just other things I end up buying new clothes airers so this OCD just continues.
Well yes I need to stop buying and eventually I would run out of cash if I keep buying if it's a bigger item I try to avoid rebuying. Another issue I had my old bed hit the bathroom floor when I moved out of my old house so I had to give the bed away I wouldn't allow it in my house or it would be "contaminated". So yes this is my worries I'm not sure how I rank the sofa one up with others my head is still evaluating what to do.
Germs happening seem powerless to me I can't act quick enough and stop people creating germs so I then have to deal with the worry and guilt from the shoppoing list of repurchases I have. Believe it or not I have list of items still to rebuy including ladders which are now in the shed as they hit the bathroom floor. If I go ahead and buy that's my 3rd set too. So yes so much becomes off limits sometimes I can't keep up and forget half of them but sometimes my head focuses on one or two they can be anything and I analyse. I don't know what makes me give in perhaps sometimes I can't cope with the worrying when I order I get relief other times the worry leaves only as another worry replaces it. Sometimes I can keep stuff other times I replace. The urge to replace usually happens in the first few days a week maximum as after that these worries seem like a while ago.
I don't really know how I can clean the sofa without ruining it now anyway as I say I can control germs better here I know I have to live here and it probably won't be as bad as my parents however I spend days worrying when these situations happen and I wonder if others would worry or if they could accept the sofa or other things I've worried over? :unsure:
Update I discovered I may be able to turn the cushions upside down to relief some anxiety for now or possibly clean them in the wash of machine as they unzip? However leaving them and just turning them may be my quick fix as I can't afford to be down £400 but will see how my anxiety goes over the next few days or week..
If the seat covers are removable, then they are probably washable. But do it carefully in case they shrink.
I'm having to replace a sofa because my cat peed on it twice. The first time I managed to clean it but this time it's too soaked in so has to go. As you say 400 quid is a lot of money so try to wash the covers.
Phil, a world without germs would be an impossible sterile place. Without them we could not develop an immune system, so one stray bacteria would wipe us all out.
You mentioned children in your post, if you ever plan having any, you really need to get help for your OCD well before then as it'll ruin it for you.
I'm not talking out of my bottom here, I know exactly how you feel.
Ok so if I don't turn the sofa how much of a germ risk will it be incase I don't want to strink the covers? How unclean will a toilet seat lid be compared to sitting on the actual seat but having trousers on when on sofa? How does that compare?
And yes having a family or pet is a major issue. If a pet poo'd the foot id want to rip it all up.
Is there anything germ related others do on here I mean the notion of people not washing hands worries me but as I don't know who does it I don't really bother. The anxiety comes from when I see a situation happen..
---------- Post added at 23:06 ---------- Previous post was at 21:07 ----------
The keeping the sofa option has came back and I now want to get rid as I fear it's forever contaminated I can't believe somebody would sit on a toilet lid then go and sit on a sofa.
I thought turning the cushions was enough now I fear I have a dirty house unless I rid it of the sofa. I only got the sofa back in October. I OCD'd about if I turn the cushion I will wonder if I actually turned it and still worry anyway and I have to worry how I could find £400 to replace this sofa or maybe chair aswell?
:ohmy:
Are there any words that would convince to seek help? I know you've done so in the past but you at least have to try again. Each post gets more and more extreme. If I didn't know better, I would think you were pulling our legs but I know you're quite serious. I hope you find some relief.
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
23-03-16, 07:22
That's the thing with OCD, it's not always about the major stuff that dominates the HA board. Many of mine were very trivial things like knives & forks, t-shirts, symmetry issues, etc.
The subject doesn't mean anyone is on a wind up, loads of people with OCD have these types of issues. Perhaps with the membership on here leaning heavily towards all the cancers and tumours and anything else fatal (all of which are as irrational as anything on this thread or any other) people may be less familiar with OCD's many flavours?
Sitting on a toilet lid and then a sofa is fine. Sitting naked on a sofa after using the toilet is a bit dodgy. Come on Phil, get some help :)
Thanks for all the replies.
Sadly as I predicted it's another worry today the sink.
I mentioned the bath stopped working so the pannel and toilet had to be taken appart to get into it. My dad put a wooden glossy pannel from the toilet on my sink now it had a tiny bit of grime at the side of it as it was next to the toilet system. I have spent hours cleaning it and cleaning it now I fear my sink is ruined and i need a new one. Touching a toilet then sink is normal but an entire panel near a toilet is not an every day occurrence. My head says if I wash my hands touch food touch ps4 it will have toilet grime or it would not be a new sink it would have been a contaminated one. Yes I know public toilets are more disgusting but I like my own house clean I'm going to bleach it later and clean again and again but it's no good :doh:
I'm finding too many situations where toilet germs are coming into my anxiety ..:unsure:
The issue is my parents always seem to put things on surfaces I don't want them on had I got other people in I don't know what they would do either but sometimes I don't have money for people to fix things or im no good myself at these jobs otherwise I would fix them.
Phil,
My suggestion still stands about seeking help with this. Others echo that as well. Really, nothing anyone says helps at all.
That being said, here's a very logical, realistic and cost effective quick fix. Slip covers! They make nice patterns and some are rubberized so liquids can't penetrate. You can take them off and wash them and they'll protect your furniture, saving you from wanting to bin everything anytime someone takes a poo and sits down!
Better yet, if you're not worried about style, just buy some cheap throws or blankets. Heck... and if it comes down to binning your furniture and buying new, just get leather or faux leather. You can clean and disinfect it and it won't stain nor hold odors.
Positive thoughts
Phil,
My suggestion still stands about seeking help with this. Others echo that as well. Really, nothing anyone says helps at all.
That being said, here's a very logical, realistic and cost effective quick fix. Slip covers! They make nice patterns and some are rubberized so liquids can't penetrate. You can take them off and wash them and they'll protect your furniture, saving you from wanting to bin everything anytime someone takes a poo and sits down!
Better yet, if you're not worried about style, just buy some cheap throws or blankets. Heck... and if it comes down to binning your furniture and buying new, just get leather or faux leather. You can clean and disinfect it and it won't stain nor hold odors.
Positive thoughts
Thanks yes that's true I wanted more throws however I had been spending so much cash I just couldn't afford to buy more.
I started to google sinks too and they can be expensive I believe my sink now harbours germs like a toilet.
It's all mostly toilet germs, glass as I keep saying things like bins are not causing me much anxiety these days it seems to be the two above which cause me to throw away or cause disagrees. :ohmy:
I've been washing my hands in the kitchen due to worrying like I say if I never got there help I would have had to pay more for plumbers but having them do jobs they don't care about where they place things I wish I was useful with diy and plumbing now I'm super anxious about the house. I'm annoyed in required there help because I'm anxious because of them only now ..
Sinks contaminated now so I'm going to need a new sink ..I'm annoyed because situations like not using sinks and door handles was common in my old house due to there ways but when they come here they can do all these things to make me anxious ..p
Perhaps I have to bin the sink? Im worried I will need a sofa and sink which would be very expensive.
Phil the whole world is full of germs that do us no harm at all. All these new things you are buying ? where do you think they are made - in factorys full of germs, by people who go to the toilet. Just because something is new doesn't mean it is sterile, and as soon as you open it in your house then it will have germs on it.
Every time you go outside you pick up airborn germs, everyhing in life you interact with will have germs on it.
Clean your existing sink, it is fine and will be cleaner afterwards than a new on you buy. And if you buy a new one it will have germs on it 5 minutes after it is fitted
Heck, the computer keyboard you're typing on is one of the dirtiest, germiest things in your home!
Positive thoughts
Phil the whole world is full of germs that do us no harm at all. All these new things you are buying ? where do you think they are made - in factorys full of germs, by people who go to the toilet. Just because something is new doesn't mean it is sterile, and as soon as you open it in your house then it will have germs on it.
Every time you go outside you pick up airborn germs, everyhing in life you interact with will have germs on it.
Clean your existing sink, it is fine and will be cleaner afterwards than a new on you buy. And if you buy a new one it will have germs on it 5 minutes after it is fitted
True but I don't see how other people have stuff from toilets on there sink I had been watching some OCD cleaners on tv and it seems people are either hoarding or obsessive cleaning.
I always think that a sink is one of the easiest things to clean in a house as it's shiny and pesky germs just slide right down the plughole :)
MyNameIsTerry
23-03-16, 22:42
No Phil, what you need to do is resist this. There are plenty of other things to do too but ultimately being beyond these obsessions starts with breaking the cycle of completing them. Whilst the anxiety eases, it only reinforces the obsession and it will continue.
Sinks can be worse than toilets but this is how irrational anxiety works, it is selective and biased.
I hate how anxiety makes things in life not enjoyable like I feel sometimes I would rather watch tv but instead I can sit all night worrying over it or dwelling on if I had did things different and paid someone to do a job it may have been cleaner. I said to my girlfriend would her parents have made as much mess answer was no I think. Her parents don't understand my OCD as when we moved in I threw away my old bed as it touched the my old bathroom floor.
My worry is if I replace a sink or sofa if it happened again I would then be replacing again or if I don't let people in the house I would not get the issues fixed. The OCD programme on channel 4 was the same some people would only let them clean there toilet and nobody else I can relate to much of this.
Only difference is no matter how much I can I have this urge to replace for new I don't know how common that is as I've not heard it much. 9 times out of ten if something toilet or glass related happens I want to throw away now a sofa, sink and suitcases and all these items I wish to dispose of the cost is going up to maybe £500 maybe more soon it would be thousands to the degree it's money I don't have or probably other people couldn't afford to splash either. I have this common pattern of replacing old for new.
Tonight I've been depressed thinking my house is contaminated now and it's spoiled. I've been worrying what is next to go wrong because that would open a pool of more anxiety e.g a toilet breaking or something would be another throw away anxiety.
If I could not have to rebuy that would be somewhere I want to start to improve my OCD even if I worry it's not clean if it meant I never had to spend all my wages on replacing it would give me some relief. I never wanted a new sink before tonight but today I do this is how my mind operates right now :wacko:
---------- Post added at 23:16 ---------- Previous post was at 23:08 ----------
I always think that a sink is one of the easiest things to clean in a house as it's shiny and pesky germs just slide right down the plughole :)
I don't dispute me cleaning it hasn't made it cleaner. However I think of an area of wood which was next to a toilet and that at one point touched the sink so when I was my hands I think of this and I think my hands would be unclean or perhaps I wish I could go to to the diy shop and buy a new sink to make sure my hands are clean. So yes it may be clean on the OCD show there was a monitor which would tell you if it was clean enough to eat from even that doesn't help. It's more like black and white
Event happens > Have to throw away
If I keep its Event Happens > Worry > Worry makes me throw away
If I manage to battle it and keep the item it's Worry > Maybe in a year or six months when I have more cash I will replace it. Replace flooring in ten years not an option.
Right now my head is debating if I need new taps would that help? Maybe but I don't think it hit the taps. In future would I want to avoid touching the sink when hand washing yes. I can wash without touching but I'd still have to touch the taps to switch it off. There's a foot pump you can buy to turn taps on hands free but that would be extreme.
So yes as you can see I go through every detail to establish how I can just cope with it sometimes I replace and if I don't I think well I can't keep it forever.
Most non new items don't feel new I mean I spilled juice on my keyboard so that's not new. If I could have a new feeling outfit for every day of the year I would.
I have to admit the "new" feeling and something becoming not new does worry me. When a contamination fear happens it just fuels it all the more and I feel the need to replace.
MyNameIsTerry
23-03-16, 23:16
And that is where the thinking is wrong, Phil. You house has and always will have some level of what you state as contamination. It's very skewed thinking as you aren't worrying about all the other ways your house is.
I think a therapist would work in your thinking through exposing you to it deliberately and getting to agree to contamination in order to accept it.
And that is where the thinking is wrong, Phil. You house has and always will have some level of what you state as contamination. It's very skewed thinking as you aren't worrying about all the other ways your house is.
I think a therapist would work in your thinking through exposing you to it deliberately and getting to agree to contamination in order to accept it.
Yes I added more to my previous post I know you have mentioned the new feeling in other posts but I am starting to see a pattern of you take away the OCD germ fear I have this issue where I wish I could bubble wrap and factory seal a new feeling. Even furniture never smells new for long or carpets. Pre contamination worries I often use to replace stuff just to get a new feeling again. Maybe even rebuy the same T Shirt that sort of thing I don't know why this plauges my life sometimes i wish I could be a different character or person because perhaps in someone else's life the worries I have would not be relievant or they wouldn't encounter them atall.
---------- Post added at 23:22 ---------- Previous post was at 23:20 ----------
And that is where the thinking is wrong, Phil. You house has and always will have some level of what you state as contamination. It's very skewed thinking as you aren't worrying about all the other ways your house is.
I think a therapist would work in your thinking through exposing you to it deliberately and getting to agree to contamination in order to accept it.
On the tv programme I noticed some people who cleaned mattresses were forced to clean ones from a skip to try to cure them. The end goal was they would clean a bit less so they could spend time with there family. One women even cleaned 19 hours in a day.
Question: Seriously... I know anxiety is often illogical. That being said, your fears primarily lie in bathroom germs. You replace things and spend a lot of $$$ in doing so quite often.
What about your own body? When you wipe after a poo... When you touch a surface that may be contaminated... you don't cut off your hand do you? You're not replacing your rear exit and these things are attached to you! What's the difference between that and a sink or a sofa or any of the other things you've replaced? Nothing right? So if you don't bin your hand (and the irrationality in that is "painfully" obvious), why would you bin a sink or any of the other things you've replaced? They all can be washed :shrug:
I'm just curious as to your train of thought because it's baffling to me.
Positive thoughts
What the issue is aswell at my old house a similar scenario happened they used a plunger to unblock the sink which had been down the toilet. For 3 weeks I used the kitchen sink until the bathroom sink was virtuously cleaned now when I moved out I thought great I can stay a new life. However this has happened and now with OCD hand washing is a big thing now I feel my clutch at being able to wash my hands could pass further gems on from the piece of wood next to the toilet. This is my fear tonight I feel it's ruined..
---------- Post added at 23:41 ---------- Previous post was at 23:37 ----------
Question: Seriously... I know anxiety is often illogical. That being said, your fears primarily lie in bathroom germs. You replace things and spend a lot of $$$ in doing so quite often.
What about your own body? When you wipe after a poo... When you touch a surface that may be contaminated... you don't cut off your hand do you? You're not replacing your rear exit and these things are attached to you! What's the difference between that and a sink or a sofa or any of the other things you've replaced? Nothing right? So if you don't bin your hand (and the irrationality in that is "painfully" obvious), why would you bin a sink or any of the other things you've replaced? They all can be washed :shrug:
I'm just curious as to your train of thought because it's baffling to me.
Positive thoughts
Sometimes I get thoughts I can handle and not bother other times by mind reels in and focuses on a certain issue. Quite often I can tolerate the same germs but on another scenario if something happened I can't. So what germs hit the sink usually well I maybe touched that wood touched the sink, maybe a piece of toilet paper went down the sink that's the same germs. The anxiety well it's a big price of wood, lots of germs on one go that's why my mind has made such a rash judgment. I don't dispute these germs have hit the sink before because everybody uses the toilet. I wiped round the toilet picked mound off it and used the sink so yes perhaps when I tell myself that it seems rash. I once put my hand down the toilet as it was blocked so again I would have used the sink. It doesn't always make sense to me my mind just picks situations up..
---------- Post added at 23:43 ---------- Previous post was at 23:41 ----------
What is even more strange is when situations with the same germs occur but maybe on a smaller dose I don't worry but I may only replace under a circumstance like today I struggle to tell myself about other times when germs existed and I coped..
I think that's where therapy could help... intense, one on one therapy to challenge your thoughts and to give you homework to do so in between. Perhaps even consider admitting yourself to a facility where they can work with you on a daily basis. It's almost as if you're cool for a bit and them some random scenario grabs hold and you're spiraling and that appears to be happening more than it ever has. In order to live productively and peacefully, you need to be able to cope with the things you post about as it's a part of living in general.
Again, I know you've had therapy in the past but I think you really should look into it again. I read your history and it's quite a read! From an outside perspective and one who doesn't have mental illness, I see you going deeper and deeper. Ultimately it's a personal decision. The forum appears to be just a sounding board for your irrational thoughts and behaviors. If that's your intent, then so be it. Say it up front. If you don't intend to seek professional help I'm quite certain nothing anyone says will truly help.
I for one, would be thrilled to see you take the steps to beat your demons and would be first in line to encourage you.
Best wishes and as always....
Positive thoughts
I think that's where therapy could help... intense, one on one therapy to challenge your thoughts and to give you homework to do so in between. Perhaps even consider admitting yourself to a facility where they can work with you on a daily basis. It's almost as if you're cool for a bit and them some random scenario grabs hold and you're spiraling and that appears to be happening more than it ever has. In order to live productively and peacefully, you need to be able to cope with the things you post about as it's a part of living in general.
Again, I know you've had therapy in the past but I think you really should look into it again. I read your history and it's quite a read! From an outside perspective and one who doesn't have mental illness, I see you going deeper and deeper. Ultimately it's a personal decision. The forum appears to be just a sounding board for your irrational thoughts and behaviors. If that's your intent, then so be it. Say it up front. If you don't intend to seek professional help I'm quite certain nothing anyone says will truly help.
I for one, would be thrilled to see you take the steps to beat your demons and would be first in line to encourage you.
Best wishes and as always....
Positive thoughts
I'm not sure what I want to do to be honest because my mind has been so caught up on this I've come to accept this is how it's like to live. I've suffered anxiety about ten years and I do worry what it will be like just living when situations like this may happen.
There is long waiting lists for help in the uk I paid for a counsoller last time she did free sessions and felt guilty I paid her £30 per hour for one on one sessions and I got over the agoraphobia and panic attacks that I was able to leave the house without anxious. At the time OCD was a back drop issue but now it's my main one.
Again I see many with OCD who clean and find it acceptable I think this is the issue here many people with OCD suffer in silence and we find it embarrassing as I know I do its probably funny or crazy some of my posts as others wouldn't worry about it. I have come here for help now as I realise the expensive cost to replace things and perhaps some previous posts have helped a little as I have been able to avoid replacing things however I feel very guilty about the Hoover post as many people gave me vast amounts of help and I sold the old Hoover which was sealed as I believed it was dirty prior to me moving into my home.
Perhaps I just want the reassurance that I can live with these problems or hygiene worries. Sometimes when I watch OCD shows it makes me want to be more clean as they have cleaner homes than me.
And being honest I'm not sure if exposure or acceptance is the cure for me perhaps one or perhaps both I don't know. I wish these situations never came up but this is life and they do. So I guess I wish I was able to deal with them in a balanced way..
Xtrastrongbint
24-03-16, 00:23
Ah Phil - everyone wants to deal with anxiety in a balanced way but the majority of people on nomorepanic can't. And that's why we're here. You should not be embarrassed at all. We all have weird phobias and triggers and quirks but, I really don't want to live with mine so that's why a visit to the gp, counselling, meds etc is necessary. I know I can be helped (just as you can). If it takes 6 months, a year, 5 years then so be it. Honestly, I think this is the route you should be taking because as you yourself mentioned, you're not able to deal with this stuff in a balanced way...honestly Phil, it will be so much better for you (and your bankbalance) if you take some steps to getting it sorted xx
I've come to accept this is how it's like to live.
And there it is... Thank you for your honesty.
Positive thoughts
And there it is... Thank you for your honesty.
Positive thoughts
I wish i could remove situations making me anxious however these situations keep on coming. I had real issues with sofas and sinks in my old house and wouldn't use or sit on either. I hope this issue won't go on for months.
Right now I want to ban people coming to my house to prevent further germs. This may seem rash.
I feel I need to remove the situations as tackling them means touching surfaces that were previously unclean this is where it's crazy I could bleach and bleach but because I know it was once dirty I will worry. But replacing means if it happens again it's a new sink. If it was free and easy buy sinks like mugs i would.
Nobody can prevent the fact this sink was touched by a piece of wood near a toilet. If I replaced the sink tomorrow I would have the desired relief. Keeping this sink means I know toilet germs were directly on it at one point.
Sometimes things happen non OCD where people throw away something as something happens to it this is making me justify it i feel guilt if I throw away Good items due to an OCD worry.
Im upset because I allowed this piece of wood in my sink and I wasn't able to avoid it by someone who doesn't care where things go if I had supervised better the floor would have been better but too late now.
too late now.
Indeed!
Positive thoughts
Spend another day worrying over this about how I can get a plumber to sit a new sink and all its expenses.
But perhaps somebody could help me feel at ease with a question. If you wash your toilet with some bleach or a cloth do you wash it out in a sink or bath? I keep mine sepetate in a plastic tub to avoid gems but if others use a cloth in the sink that's been in the toilet this may help me feel at ease?
MyNameIsTerry
25-03-16, 04:46
Phil,
I'm not sure on the cloth as we use bleach and a brush, so hopefully someone else can clarify. But I think that's a very good idea, a good step forward. It may make your anxiety rise but ultimately it will fade if you allow yourself to remain in a situation.
If you can come up with other opportunities like that, it would be excellent.
And I know about feeling like you can't escape it, I've been through that myself. I thought I was damned for life and would never get even a little bit better, but I did. I still have such thoughts now. I think it's natural and what happens the longer anxiety continues but science alone, let alone others who recover, show how it is always possible to make change.
Yes I wish there was some other examples of toilet germs which touches other people's sinks but none yet..
My anxiety has got no better on this I want to ban my parents visiting and I realise if I replace the sink the tiles might not match so I would then retile the bathroom and then it would be a full new bathroom suite to match so my bill could end up in thousands. I don't have that cash but my anxiety might be so bad I would buy on a monthly basis.
Im annoyed with myself that I wasn't able to avoid the wood hitting the sink cleaned it twice with two different cleaners but my anxiety is still here and I believe my sink is like washing my hands in a toilet (if it had taps) .. So if I have all these toilet germs I'm passing around that's what my head says :ohmy:
MyNameIsTerry
26-03-16, 09:56
Well, there's always the glass. You could work on that one in some way without it being hazardous.
You also had the issue with placing those tools too close to the toilet so you could get any implement and try to work on that with it.
Remember, aside from it being a real world example you could put anything on the inside of the toilet and then put it somewhere else e.g. some toilet paper. You could rub your trousers against the outside of the toilet and try to tackle the issue with the chairs. (all with reason of being normally cleanly, of course)
Well, there's always the glass. You could work on that one in some way without it being hazardous.
You also had the issue with placing those tools too close to the toilet so you could get any implement and try to work on that with it.
Remember, aside from it being a real world example you could put anything on the inside of the toilet and then put it somewhere else e.g. some toilet paper. You could rub your trousers against the outside of the toilet and try to tackle the issue with the chairs. (all with reason of being normally cleanly, of course)
I put the tools in the bathroom I won't use them in any other room as they hit the toilet. I think I will struggle with brushing the toilet.
For me the sink is forever contaminated until I can replace it like I say I have been trying to find other examples of toilet germs hitting a sink but I struggle to ..the sofa is still troubling me too.
Perhaps it will ease in a few days or weeks I hope it does. I've got loads of examples of stuff I feel is dirty e.g the floor. I've invited some friends round tomorrow obviously I fear house will be dirty but I feel the germs issue so bad the house couldn't be any dirtier :doh:
Xtrastrongbint
27-03-16, 00:15
Interestingly Phil someone I knew used to clean their toilet and then rinse the brush in the sink...I think I probably used the same cloth on the toilet and the sink but then bleached it...I've definitely not caught any nasties from a bathroom sink or toilet.
For your peace of mind I've just found lots of articles which state evidence that your toilet seat is safer to make a salad on than your cutting board in the kitchen...Interesting eh? There's more Ecoli in your kitchen sink than round the bowl of your toilet. Hope this helps Phil x
MyNameIsTerry
27-03-16, 05:58
And isn't the kitchen sink regarded as worse than a toilet seat? Anxiety can be very selective which only further proves how irrational it is.
I think coming up with a graduated plan of exposure to take you through these issues is a way to beat it, Phil. The idea though is not to address the scenario as much as it is the belief. If you resolve a scenario without the underpinning belief that drives it, you just cut off one of it's heads. Another will grow. The issue is at the root and snipping that causes all the attached ones to drop away.
Update despite feeling awful with the cold I want to update on how my anxiety is going mixed really
Today I went to the bakers for a sassuage roll they sprayed the surface below I was tempted to bin it again but due to not having any time to buy more lunch on this occasion I ate it.
Next one today ants came into my house from the skitting board so now I'm worried about them taking over the house I have hoovered worried if I put ant powder the bedroom I could inhale it in the air? Felt so ill today I've barely been able to clean it.
Next more house worries my bath is blocked again I believe it's cheap soap as I'm always washing my hands so I'm worried I can't wash or if it's more money to fix surely toilet paper or soap outside the waste pipe wouldn't happen already after a week? The plumber fixed it but how come other people with hand washing OCD don't block sinks?
Maybe it is hair which is clogging up the bath.
Do you have a strainer over the plug hole? Liquid soap in a dispenser causes less blockages than a block of soap.
Bicarbonate of soda & white vinegar can be used for cleaning out the plug holes & pipes.
You do not say which room the ants were present. Was it the kitchen where food is present? If so just put the powder there.
Great that you managed to eat the sausage roll!
Maybe it is hair which is clogging up the bath.
Do you have a strainer over the plug hole? Liquid soap in a dispenser causes less blockages than a block of soap.
Bicarbonate of soda & white vinegar can be used for cleaning out the plug holes & pipes.
You do not say which room the ants were present. Was it the kitchen where food is present? If so just put the powder there.
Great that you managed to eat the sausage roll!
I cleaned all the hair out when I had the plumber round so not sure? I could get the sofa stuff then.
It's the bedroom we have lots of ants in the garden not sure how they are getting in. Hoovered it all today again but they are coming under the skitting and radiator. It wasn't girlfriend that noticed about ten today so if it's the bedroom they can't be finding any food surely? I'm going to try and seal the skirting off put lots of powder down outside too ..:ohmy:
MyNameIsTerry
04-04-16, 05:02
We used to get ants at the last office I worked at. One of the guys from the pest control company was explaining it once and said it's because the ants leave a sugar trail to attract their mates. So, he was dealing with that. There was really no reason for them to be coming in to our building as there was nothing near that area, only desks, people and the stairs.
Nice one on the sausage roll.
Doesn't sound like a good clearance job by the plumber for it to clog up again so easily. If the sink if blocking up or bath but not the toilet, then perhaps it's not a blockage at a main drainage pipe (we share ours with next door but it's on our property) so maybe it is the pipe from that bath only?
I doubt it will be soap. Toilet paper does a much better job of blocking a drain if you use a lot and water pressure changes as seasons do too so with it getting milder that could be an issue with a lot of toilet paper.
If the plumber blasted the pipes, you shouldn't be getting this surely? Maybe it's a matter of a shite plumber?
The plumber only cleaned the outside pipe my parents used sink and drain and a plunger. It was running clear after the plumber went. It's been ok the past day or two so I will have to see if it gets worse again. Well the toilet isn't connected to the sink however at my parents it was so I wasn't sure if that was the issue. It never drained that great when I first moved in. It's the best it's been but I'm worried it could be an issue that keeps coming up?
How can i deal with that maybe scrub the floor? I'm not sure if they got in via the brick work or window that's the annoying part.
I tackled another anxiety last night too invited some friends round which involved them putting a dirty nappy in my bin which I wasn't too happy about but my parents caused me so much anxiety I decided it couldn't be any worse or it would be a lesser anxiety. Like I say sometimes so much goes on in life I struggle to keep up with my OCD's and can't stop these situations happening. I don't feel I've won by eating the sausage roll or inviting friends round because I know I will still probably worry again about other stuff. :blush:
Baby steps Phil, every time you challenge the OCD is a victory.
I think eating the sausage roll was huge as was having your friends round.
Yes there will be other things that worry you but you will get better at talking yourself round.
Well done
I'm worried the area where the ant spray was put down its contaminated now though so I fear if ever paint it or touch it even if I was the skitting down it will burn me as ant spray Isn't to come into contact with you?
MyNameIsTerry
06-04-16, 05:31
Yes it happens in Mcdonnalds I could be eating and somebody comes along with a spray bottle and starts slashing but it never bothers me I've not had it happen in a chip shop infact I guess I would rather not know what's cleaned in restaurants or takeaways as like tonight I wouldn't eat it. :huh:
The reason was I thought if I ate it being near flash spray I would be ill from the chemicals.
Someone else on here mentioned this worry on the HA board. I can remember pasting in a load of snippets from manufacturer websites and health & safety. I will see if I can find it. Basically, they use food safe chemicals that will not harm you.
I found the thread so here it is:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=176032&highlight=safety
You will be fine, Lauren. In fact, you will find it will be part of food safety for them to be doing that to protect you all. Chefs have to be trained in those areas and they are taken very seriously because of public health so I would expect they are using "food safe" disinfectant cleaner.
In fact, to demonstrate this I just Googled it and a page of cleaning product sellers popped up and this is what a few had to safe about theit products:
--------------------
Gentle as Water
While the spray is tough on bacteria*, it’s also mild enough to use around kids, pets and food. The versatile pH-balanced formula can be used on most surfaces anytime, anywhere.†
--------------------
Food hygiene regulations are getting increasingly tighter meaning that not only do food environments need to be kept spotlessly clean but they must also be cleaned with food safe chemicals. We have a range of specially formulated food safe hygiene supplies that will help you comply with these regulations allowing food preparation areas to be safely cleaned and sanitised.
It can be difficult to find a gentle, food safe cleaner that can tackle heavy soiling and is still strong enough to kill dangerous bacteria such as E Coli. Our food safe disinfectant offers the ultimate in food safe cleaning and is widely used throughout food processing factories as well as in restaurants, hotels and commercial kitchens where food safety is paramount.
----------------------------
Surface Sanitizer Spray, fast drying, food safe
This spray is food-safe so may be used in all food preparation areas.
It is fast-drying so that the area being cleaned may not need to be wiped dry, making its antimicrobial action more efficient.
Suitable for clinic, home and industrial environments.
-----------------------------
VIRUSOLVE+ is completely harmless to humans and animals at optimum operational strengths. It requires little or no additional training and no specialist protective workwear or gear.
Food And Beverage Preparation
The manufacture of food and beverage products, especially chilled, ready to eat food products, relies on maintaining the highest standards of food hygiene in storage, production, assembly and packing areas. The stringent legislative standards required today, and the prevention of cross-contamination, can only be achieved by effective disinfection and cleaning programmes.
VIRUSOLVE+ is ideal in this application as it wipes out all micro-organisms - including spores - and yet leaves negligible residues and renders surfaces both safe and hostile to future infection. It can be used at every stage of food production from the field to the plate and has proved itself in trials and tests.
-------------------------------
Can you see how they are all saying these standards are mandatory? So, they are places on them by someone like the Food Standard Agency, a branch of the government hence law.
---------- Post added at 05:31 ---------- Previous post was at 05:22 ----------
I'm worried the area where the ant spray was put down its contaminated now though so I fear if ever paint it or touch it even if I was the skitting down it will burn me as ant spray Isn't to come into contact with you?
What about the sprays that are child/pet safe?
Basically, as long as you follow the safety instructions, everything is fine. The products are mass used across the country (and world) and no one is getting affected by them.
I'm just too worried to put my drawers back into the wall incase it touches the skirting. If I wash it with soap and water will it be clean again my anxiety has me worrying it's contaminated forever and I can't touch that area?
---------- Post added at 18:39 ---------- Previous post was at 17:29 ----------
I'm also worried if I have a family in the future where I can put dirty washing as if someone touched it or put a wet towel somewhere I would bin stuff..:blush: my only solution I can think I is to build a cupboard.
your so paranoid on really small things
Its the anxiety talking, Phil.
As Terry suggested, in an earlier post, you need to gradually try to face the OCD - step by step. (Especially if you wish to have kids one day!)
The skirting board can be wiped down with detergent. Many families keep their dirty clothes in a plastic laundry basket (its light & can be wiped down).
Update:
Disaster PlayStation controller hit the area on the floor where the ant spray was spayed now it's toxic bad for the environment now I never got round to cleaning that area im worried I'm going to ditch the controller and buy new like I always do?
Another big anxiety disaster
I blocked the toilet as I do with using too much toilet paper and I was needing the toilet so I waited one hour and I got so desperate I unblocked it with my hand and had to go after drinking too much juice and the water was high none hit the ground but the water went down I hit my hand off the bath pannel with toilet water and maybe when I rushed to the loo my boxers took a trip so I am binning them.
Im worried the whole bathroom is horrible I sprayed it all down and cleaned it and showered my anxiety is less as I watched the OCD programme and I am starting to believe and accept things can be cleaned and obsessive cleaning is actually good if it means the place is clean.
I believe this is a solution to my ants I googled it and said they hate the smell of cleaning stuff and like smell of sugar so I'm going to give the house a spring clean is this a good idea?
MyNameIsTerry
12-04-16, 05:03
Update:
Disaster PlayStation controller hit the area on the floor where the ant spray was spayed now it's toxic bad for the environment now I never got round to cleaning that area im worried I'm going to ditch the controller and buy new like I always do?
Follow any cleaning instructions for things that touch the ant spray area. You will be walking on that area I would imagine and so it will be possible to clean the things that touch it. The controller is plastic so it's not going to absorb the chemicals so perhaps a quick rub down with a wet wipe may even do it?
---------- Post added at 05:03 ---------- Previous post was at 05:00 ----------
Another big anxiety disaster
I blocked the toilet as I do with using too much toilet paper and I was needing the toilet so I waited one hour and I got so desperate I unblocked it with my hand and had to go after drinking too much juice and the water was high none hit the ground but the water went down I hit my hand off the bath pannel with toilet water and maybe when I rushed to the loo my boxers took a trip so I am binning them.
Im worried the whole bathroom is horrible I sprayed it all down and cleaned it and showered my anxiety is less as I watched the OCD programme and I am starting to believe and accept things can be cleaned and obsessive cleaning is actually good if it means the place is clean.
I believe this is a solution to my ants I googled it and said they hate the smell of cleaning stuff and like smell of sugar so I'm going to give the house a spring clean is this a good idea?
Are we talking something like OC Cleaners? I really don't think obsessive cleaning due to fear is a good thing. You can clean without it being obsessive and no fear is involved either.
Just wash your boxers, Phil. Think how your boxers get dirty from you wearing them and you don't bin them for fresh each time, you wash them and wear them again. There is nothing in that toilet that cannot be washed out of your boxers, even if you need to boil them...something women have been doing for a long long time with their husbands skid marks. :winks::blush:
Spring cleaning is fine BUT not obsessive spring cleaning. Do things once and once only. Returning to do them again & again is obsessive and just feeding your disorder. The same with your bathroom - do it once and walk away and sit out the anxiety, which will fade.
Yes not being obsessive about it
Won't start another thread but my anxiety is high worried about a worry from 2007 again
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=19209&highlight=Depression
As I fear talking not had this worry In over a year sometimes if I have conversations I worry but I go through phases where I think it could come back but won't but this was one of my worries on the board before I got OCD.
I want to start driving again but that triggered my agrophobia sometimes anxiety just crops up again so the cleaning worries have taken a back seat and replaced by something else.
I would say I'm very tense had health anxiety too the other day and my other worry. I'm going into a worry phase where I worry about everything is there a way I can handle it without it being bad for months again? My anxiety seems prominent or OCD I wonder if there can be a way with self help or therapy to rid it out problem with theropy and why I don't go back is ive relapsed and don't want long waiting lists by the time it's eased up anyway.
Starting doing relaxation CDs again as it seems useful when my anxiety is high, probably my recent flu has triggered a bad anxiety spell for me again :blush:
MyNameIsTerry
13-04-16, 05:49
I take it you take meds for the bipolar? So, this should be managed. If you, or your GF, are concerned about whether this is sufficiently managed then a chat with your GP is the best way to go forward.
We do over talk and talk too fast with anxiety though. I've done that and it's always been times where I felt strangely positive. I can understand your concern if you feel like that too and given the bipolar, I would talk to your GP about that. But if it's just a fear of it, as opposed to it happening, I think it's just the usual anxiety kicking in. I can imagine how it creates fear because of the worry of future episodes but try to remember that as she said before, your GF knows what to look out for should something like that happen.
How does your bipolar affect you? There are a few others on here with bipolar who would understand. They have a long running support thread now on the Depression board (fluff's thread) so it might be worth a look if you need some support from people who understand than more intimately?
It's good you have started your relaxation CD's. That's a positive step and it's good that you also have something you know helps. your recent flu does seem to have spiked you a bit, just like other stressful events have, but as that goes you might find your anxiety decreases with it - the HA side would anyway.
The driving sounds a good way to distract yourself and boost your self confidence & self esteem, which I would imagine have taken a big knock with all this. You could look for an instructor who specialises in nervous students? They should be a bit more understanding of anxiety. Even if you do try it and can't continue, you can always stop, you are in control (subject to any contract for numbers of sessions, I guess?). Wanting to do something is powerful, it helps us overcome barriers - it's much better than feeling we have to do something which can feel like we are trapped or committing. Wanting means you take control.
But it would be a really good thing to engage in some therapy and self help. One way to try some self help could be something like an online CCBT course. There are some free or lost cost ones about. There are NHS ones your GP could arrange for you free, but beware going private on those are they cost more. They are quick to access too. Maybe even try a self help course or book? Any GP can write you a book prescription for the NHS reading list and OCD is covered on there. Then you just take it to your local library and it's all free.
How about trying some visualisations? Even better, try Mindfulness. Mindfulness helped my anxiety in general and sorted out my intrusive thoughts. Give it a try, there are free downloads in the thread in my signature if you want to see what it's like. The breathing forms are very much like relaxation, the others expand on it to work more with your senses.
No you are confused I mean I had a very short spell at 16 i'm now 27 it only lasted days and I took meds for a year or more just to ensure it was a one off but you are always at risk anything could come back. Yes you are right I could trick my mind in the past and recreate all those symptoms without any major symptoms but enough to stop me going out that's why I could avoid cinema or whatever back then as I felt safe at home in bed.
I posted in my other thread to explain dropping my OCD accepting cleaning is great thats great can put stuff in the wash again so now I'm sitting here worrying about stuff pre OCD I could spend my time just anxiety worrying or I had panic attacks and felt avoiding was best I discussed before I got over that for now and OCD is a comfort.
Perhaps it may seem like I don't want to get over it but I should have explained without anything else I will worry?
Today anybody that meets me I would say I don't come across like anything different just normal no anxiety on show if you get what I mean just a general guy but I have to hide my OCD e.g I spoke about I don't wash my hands in public as much due to embarrassment I don't want people out with close family or no more panic knowing my worries as they are silly and embarrassing but I find for anxiety if you can live your life as normal and regular as you can it's the best way to fight anxiety as this is the ultimate aim for anybody with anxiety to be anxiety free.
I did a few anxiety help CDs which helped me great it gave me belief I can live without anxiety however I cope with anxiety am not cured and I know a long term goal has to be to avoid asking too much questions but like I say the OCD programme on tv has given me some a boost I felt it may make me worse but the fact stuff can be cleaned and even your advice that it's cleaner has given me logic rather than comfort and I now believe if things are super clean anyway anythibg would illogical and it doesn't make sense to throw away.
I can't promise I'm cured of throwing away but I believe the fact I can accept cleaning is acceptable has to be following some of what you said?
---------- Post added at 18:32 ---------- Previous post was at 18:29 ----------
Regarding driving I almost passed first time I was good sat 4 tests but by test 4 I was getting so nervous see my old posts it was so bad I was up on a 24 hour no sleep worrying as my anxiety came from a belief they were marking me down waiting for me to make a mistake. The positive is despite failing before I left the test centre as I was too close to a parked car I did complete test but this is the sad thing with anxiety.. I could have passed I have ability however if I say became housebound and worried I'm laid back enough I enjoy trains and bus.
But yes when anxiety is a barriers it's not ideal. Even if I wanted to I have a house to pay for and my work isn't giving overtime so driving remains something for later.
---------- Post added at 18:34 ---------- Previous post was at 18:32 ----------
And yes visualisations are great this should be used by many on here as it gives the body real relaxation if you use headphones and it cured me of panic as I felt nice more relaxed so I'm a big beliver in that.
But for my OCD it's not as effective.
I have been bad worrying and talking with my girlfriend tonight but like in my previous posts I said about I have nights this and I use distraction and if I was too bad I would see a doctor if I got too anxious or worried but i feel distraction and those relaxations will help being at work takes my mind off anxiety so I am telling myself the positive. Basically it can pass as quick as it comes but sometimes I fear it's not anxiety but I can easily recreate feelings of chest pains which feels so real and I've discussed before how that affects me. Basically all my worries have come together and I remember this was an issue in theropy they encouraged me to go to the cinema and question and back up that it's anxiety not the above worse case and believe it or not I was out within six months enjoying myself not staying in bed worrying so I use this self help when my worries get bad as I have previously delt with this ..when it comes back it's new on the mind so my first action is worry before I can self help..if that makes sense?
I have had shivers and chatting and worrying but had this maybe once every 3 months or 6 months but I think I'm worried about my job, relationship, traveling and life worries plus hiding OCD or reducing it can flip it up again so I know not ideal I've had to keep hand washing loads and distraction just to stop worrying.
I hate the anxiety you get when you are constantly tense and aware I feel let down because it's a relapse and I fear with this thread it's going off my OCD topic but it's supportive as its still related and many here know my worries.
When I'm too open about my anxiety I worry as people don't always know all my previous posts so I sort of get anxious about being anxious.
My OCD had kicked in again. My work badge ended up in the wash basket my worst nightmare for OCD and I've cleaned it but still fear it's contaminated? :ohmy:
Im still worrying today. I washed the work badge with washing up powder but still fear it's contaminated. I try and tell myself my trousers and top get cleaned the same way after being in the basket but i fear my hands will forever be contaminated at work.
No help for me either as there's a waiting list for any cbt. :blush:
Worried by this again..
I always wash my hands after touching the wash basket as I said before.
I'm getting new windows in and the guy touched my wash basket and put wood surrounds on the carpet near the basket.
I'm now worried as I know he wouldn't have washed his hands so now the windows are contaminated as he touched them.
Sadly i couldn't take the day off work so I had this issue had I been here it was avoidable. :blush:
---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:36 ----------
I can't throw the windows away but I may need to keep washing my hands after touching them.
This the problem with people coming to my house now I'm stressed anybody help? :ohmy:
Anybody? I can't throw away the windows now what if I have this worry for years? :blush:
Phil
The windows are fine.
Your "Dirty" laundry cannot contaminate. In fact the man only touched the basket not the clothes. Windows can be wiped down - but this is not necessary.
There's no need for you to wash your hands nor feel afraid. Please try to face these fears.
I'm worried again different issue
My dad was fixing my kitchen cupboards and drilled holes and the saw dust landed on my deep fat fryer lid but there's only a small hole it was 95% covered but I'm worried the 5% got in the hole.
I know I can change the oil at some point but I will eat chips out of it tonight what if I eat wood? :ohmy:
Presumably the hole in the lid was to let steam out. It would be very tiny. I don't think a few specs of sawdust would do any harm.
If you are fussy, the oil could be put through a sieve or wipe the chips on kitchen roll before eating.
Deep fried food isn't particularly healthy. I never eat it - not even chips. To be honest, I think the oil is more harmful than sawdust! I remember chewing the ends of pencils at school - never had any problems. You'll be all right.
Personally, I think those oven chips would be "healthier" than deep fried potatoes. :)
Worried by this again..
I always wash my hands after touching the wash basket as I said before.
I'm getting new windows in and the guy touched my wash basket and put wood surrounds on the carpet near the basket.
I'm now worried as I know he wouldn't have washed his hands so now the windows are contaminated as he touched them.
Sadly i couldn't take the day off work so I had this issue had I been here it was avoidable. :blush:
---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:36 ----------
I can't throw the windows away but I may need to keep washing my hands after touching them.
This the problem with people coming to my house now I'm stressed anybody help? :ohmy:
Few months on I'm still worried these windows are contaminated I wash my hands every time I touch them. :wacko:
Phil
You are WORRIED that the windows are contaminated, but they are not.
How do you know the workman touched the laundry basket? The wood was placed nearby not in the basket. If you are concerned about human bodily fluids from the clothes then they would not touch the outside of the basket. Dirty washing isn't THAT powerful.
Theres no need to wash your hands after touching the windows.
Perhaps you wanted "perfection" or the window fitting to meet your very high standards. But there is no need.
Please try to rationalise this & reduce the handwashing. :)
I'm stressed again.
I stupidly managed to block a toilet at my partners parents house now I'm worried everything is contaminated as I think he removed a toilet bag of toilet paper to the kitchen bin.
My shoes were in the the hall maybe toilet water got on them? I had shopping in the living room and now maybe that stuff is contaminated as it was close in another room? :blush::ohmy: the stuff was in bags so covered but maybe germs got in and could get on my shopping that I am taking home?
---------- Post added at 21:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:24 ----------
There house is now as contaminated as my parents as they use to use toilet bags to unlock..
---------- Post added at 22:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:21 ----------
The bathroom at her parents house is off limits now have to use other bathroom. My trainers were in the hall so I can't wear them. The door handles leaving to the back door for bin they are all contaminated it's not good :ohmy:
---------- Post added at 22:49 ---------- Previous post was at 22:42 ----------
I still can't touch my window handles without washing my hands since the installed touched my wash basket back in march when I got new windows.
MyNameIsTerry
06-09-17, 06:38
Phil, you know that handle can be cleaned. You need to work on using it again. ERP is useful in structuring things like this. It's always hard work but it will stop you avoiding it and change the importance your subconscious has on that handle being a problem.
For shoes, think about what you use shoes for. They are constantly dirty and covered in bacteria unless you decontaminate them every time you come back in. Those germs don't seem to bother you though, that's another sign of this being based on irrationality. It's all about toilets.
Someone needs to look at your habits and structure exposure for you.
I also think you need to do anything you can to keep your stress levels down and have relaxation methods you use in times of increased stress. OCD spikes during stressful periods.
Phil, you know that handle can be cleaned. You need to work on using it again. ERP is useful in structuring things like this. It's always hard work but it will stop you avoiding it and change the importance your subconscious has on that handle being a problem.
For shoes, think about what you use shoes for. They are constantly dirty and covered in bacteria unless you decontaminate them every time you come back in. Those germs don't seem to bother you though, that's another sign of this being based on irrationality. It's all about toilets.
Someone needs to look at your habits and structure exposure for you.
I also think you need to do anything you can to keep your stress levels down and have relaxation methods you use in times of increased stress. OCD spikes during stressful periods.
Problem is doctor won't give me any therapy so can't do exposure theropy. I tried private a few times but they were more talk theropy and anxiety nothing to do with bad OCD.
I will probably find those door handles forever contaminated now. I'm annoyed with myself for blocking the toilet. Wash baskets and toilet germs are my worst worries like I said in other thread if I have a family and they touched the wash basket I would throw away carpets or whatever it came into contact with.
In what way could relaxation help my OCD? Any good links to some I can try?
I can't clean someone else's house so the worry will be there about the toilet germs. My house is bad enough I've had lots of OCD worries in past few months. My towels went mouldy after sitting in wash basket too long as they were wet so I binned them so my bin is now contaminated. It's the same germs worry from the wash basket and the towels were not cleaned. A few months back I changed my bathroom floor and the guy put the old vinyl on my new bedroom floor so I worry about that patch of the bedroom. Many people with OCD clean and clean and that helps there worry however my problem is:
Cleaning isn't enough I have to throw away
Faults thoughts like stuff going too close to an item means I won't wear the clothes or use the items even if no direct contact
Costs a lot of money but I recoup it by selling or returning items or giving them away for free. I recently bought new clothes airers as I had not used them in a few months so I worried they came near the wash basket so I binned them.
I can't find much solutions for it at the moment. I don't know how clean other people's homes are and I don't know how many toilet germs get close to people's items. Like I say the bathroom towels being in the bathroom floor I come in and out shower and they are soaking wet and tiny pieces of toilet paper have hit them before so I fear they are very dirty I can't find a solution for this unless I stop coming out the shower then I wouldn't feel my backside is clean. Not good.
Toilet germs are not great either it's not ideal a bag being carried in a house as some water could drip on the floor where I stand and I can't be sure it's clean or been cleaned. I just can't imagine it happening in every house hold for it to be a problem people deal with. I block toilets quite often so I have a few hotels that are off limits as I blocked the toilets and I have no idea how they were fixed so basically if I stayed over at than hotel I'd fear the carpets and everything could be unclean.
My OCD comes and goes in terms of how mild or strong it is but it's quite strong at the moment as I'm back to replacing items and having contaminated places :blush:
Can anybody reassure me?
I believe my partners parents house is contaminated as he removed the toilet blockage in a bag so that room is off limits and I can't wear my trainers that were close by either :blush:
My other issues include
* I need a new towel even if I just get a clean one after a thought that it's dirty.
*Tonight I reawashed a clean washing as I had a thought it never did a full cycle.
*Dont like touching towels at visitors houses incase they had a shower with it.
The trainers from my partners house im close to binning then as they were in the hall the toilet bag came through.
I refuse to use there down stairs bathroom now due to that towel being there he used or hand soap when he unblocked the toilet.
Also door handles off limits too.
I got new clothes and a cushion that day so I have them in a seperate corner of the house as they were in the same house as the toilet was unblocked.
Can anybody reassure me? Seems no end to my OCD :blush:
Phil
Did you block the toilet at your partner's parents house with toilet roll? If so was it after you did a number 2?
You could ask your partner's father where he binned the toilet blockage. Do they know about the OCD?
I regularly put my hand inside the loo to wipe/clean etc. Wash hands afterwards & all is well. Your fear outweighs the "danger".
Please try to use less toilet roll & approach your GP again about therapy. Perhaps you could contact an OCD charity to see if there is a recommended therapist near you. The money spent replacing stuff would be better spent on treatment.
You need to start tackling your fears as things seem to be getting out of hand.
The downstairs bathroom at your "in-laws" would now have a new towel & the soap would have been used several times. Its ok to use.
Obsessions demand more & more. PLease try to resist the thoughts - they're not true.
Luckily it wasn't a number two so the toilet paper was quite clean.
I think he put it in a wheelie bin outside but not 100% sure.
I use around 9 toilet papers in 5 days sometimes more. Also hand soaps at the moment I go through one per day. I only clean my own toilet before going for a shower. Also I only do my wash basket before showering too. I feel I have to steralize myself clean.
Like people with OCD clean and clean and that offers relief I don't read as much about people who throw away and cleaning isn't enough. Even if I bleached the windows on my house I would still wash my hands due to the window fitted touching my wash basket.
I wish cleaning was enough because I could keep cleaning but the worry would go but it doesn't go. What happens is the worry gets too much and I usually sell the item or never go near it.
Like I say I've tried a couple of therapists and none really helped my OCD. I feel I've no option but to live with it really. It's the plastic bit of the hand soap I would feel is dirty after someone going down a toilet. I know when that bathroom is cleaned that could happen but believe it or not if I don't see the things becoming "dirty" I worry less. When I lived at my parents the OCD was worse as I couldn't control it as it wasn't my house.
Obviously If I never blocked the toilet the worry wouldn't be there but my OCD makes me use lots of toilet paper. In the past I've went to a toilet and used less if there wasn't enough toilet paper however that was before my OCD was bad. :blush:
I am sorry phil, not been able to read all your posts.
I use the disposable thin plastic throw away gloves.
It won't solve your things touching each other but it helps the hand washing.
You are going through such a bad time it must be draining for you.
I've discovered a new worry
I usually wash my hands after touching wet shower towels which I stand on but in hotels the maids probably don't wash there hands after touching them and they will touch my suit case and put clean towels out and they might have dirty hands?
I've not worried about this before but I thought about it tonight and it alarms me as I get OCD about towels as I wipe my backside and worry bits of toilet paper hit the towels I stand on
So basically each room could be contaminted :blush::ohmy: or atleast I would think it's contaminated more so when it happens at home
Anybody reassure me about my previous worry?
Got a new one now my mum put a box where she puts money on top of a bin which use to be the same bin she put blocked toilet bags into when I stayed there so now any money she hands me is contaminated :ohmy:
Anybody reassure me about my previous worry?
Got a new one now my mum put a box where she puts money on top of a bin which use to be the same bin she put blocked toilet bags into when I stayed there so now any money she hands me is contaminated :ohmy: Well yes I can try Phil Prehaps say to mum don't put that box on top of the bin perhaps put it in a draw out of harms way!? And in any case how many times has that money been touched by different people? Really think now is the time to get some help for your OCD condition? it's taking over your life and is consuming you in the process. Any one on here can give you the reassurance but it's taking it on board and believing it mate :) Cheers
Hi Phil, I see things are not getting any better for you.
If, and when I go on holiday. I take my "back side" cloths for wiping. Put them in a plastic bag and take home to wash.
The last hotel we went to we had clean towels everyday, so that was good.
You could try the antibacterial spray for your hands.:hugs:
Well yes I can try Phil Prehaps say to mum don't put that box on top of the bin perhaps put it in a draw out of harms way!? And in any case how many times has that money been touched by different people? Really think now is the time to get some help for your OCD condition? it's taking over your life and is consuming you in the process. Any one on here can give you the reassurance but it's taking it on board and believing it mate :) Cheers
Yes I’m struggling I put the money in a separate pocket and have to spend it to get coins back as I don’t put it in my wallet due to the germs worry..
Hi Phil, I see things are not getting any better for you.
If, and when I go on holiday. I take my "back side" cloths for wiping. Put them in a plastic bag and take home to wash.
The last hotel we went to we had clean towels everyday, so that was good.
You could try the antibacterial spray for your hands.:hugs: Personally Magic I would use antibacterial bot wipes much more hygienic than cloths you take home to wash IMHO :)
Hi Phil, I see things are not getting any better for you.
If, and when I go on holiday. I take my "back side" cloths for wiping. Put them in a plastic bag and take home to wash.
The last hotel we went to we had clean towels everyday, so that was good.
You could try the antibacterial spray for your hands.:hugs:
I use toilet paper to wipe it however I fear any touches the towels meaning they are contaminated.
Half the issue I have with the towels is they are soaking wet as I have to come out shower around 6 times atleast
I just fear what they do with those dirty towels after my showers at home I have to steralize my hands had use half a tub of hand soap go clean them.
The trouble is that reassurance never works with OCD and contamination issues will spread as anxiety escalates. I have this with my autistic daughter. I have found that when her anxiety is less all-consuming then her contamination issues are still there but she can manage them better and they cause her less distress. She also knows that it is pointless to ask for repeated reassurance from me because it just perpetuates the cycle.
I did a clean washing yesterday but worried I never put powder in the day after so worried now it’s dirty and the clothes airers will be dirty too I reassured myself the washing was wet and there was less powder in the tub than before but I still worry? I’m sure every time I put a wash on switch it on but I still worry..
I did a clean washing yesterday but worried I never put powder in the day after so worried now it’s dirty and the clothes airers will be dirty too I reassured myself the washing was wet and there was less powder in the tub than before but I still worry? I’m sure every time I put a wash on switch it on but I still worry.. Phil,Phil when are you going to get some help for your OCD you completely ignored my post with a link in for help??? Sorry but unless you aknowledge you need and want help I am done now sorry :)ATB
Phil,Phil when are you going to get some help for your OCD you completely ignored my post with a link in for help??? Sorry but unless you aknowledge you need and want help I am done now sorry :)ATB
I’ve had the worry about washing for a while
As I said before there’s not much ocd help in my area so I’ve just had to struggle with it and throw stuff away as cleaning it doesn’t reassure me :ohmy:
As I said before there’s not much ocd help in my area so I’ve just had to struggle with it and throw stuff away as cleaning it doesn’t reassure me :ohmy:
There is a lot of self-help you can get but you need to really want to get better. Or you can just wait and be at mercy of others while your OCD gets worse...
I’ve had the worry about washing for a while
As I said before there’s not much ocd help in my area so I’ve just had to struggle with it and throw stuff away as cleaning it doesn’t reassure me :ohmy: I understand that Phil have you looked at the link I sent and emailed or phoned them stop being a defeatist contact them and see what is available to you, you don't know till you try mate :) It's been hard for me too regarding my hoarding problems, but I have kept pushing and pushing and now it seems there is some charity that can help me don't give up ever:yesyes:
ATB
Sadly I’ve spent all day worrying over it and worry I will have to rebuy clothes airers.
Not the first time I did this when the room had ants I took the airers out the room and I wouldn’t use them again as I worried they went near the wash basket.
The towels were wet but sometimes after showering they were wet but despite all the washing being wet that wasn’t enough to reassure some today.
I have a few ocd issues ones where germs may have actually touched something like the wash basket and other one is these false thoughts or doubts if I did something or not but both cause me lots of worry. As I said In another topic I did do away with the wash basket but it’s still caused me lots of worries that the camera, tv, my jacket touched the wash basket so I won’t use them much.
My ocd is either toilet germs or dirty washing doesn’t seem to be much else. I know they try and make you not throw away with theropy however that may not work for me.
Really my worry is if I did get new clothes airers this time I believe I will have the same worry again and becomes an expensive cycle. I find it hard to retrace my steps in the past I use to worry I forgot to take my tablets so I had to write it down.
Also I had this worry a few times before about the washing but never threw stuff away however the worries affect me different day to day and I could end up having a bad ocd day. For example this would be where I take a towel, take another and another on repeat to wash my hands as I get a thought the towel got dirty.
---------- Post added at 19:02 ---------- Previous post was at 19:00 ----------
If I don’t replace the airers the I will every day end up thinking maybe dirty washing went on them this is the issue when I have ocd bad.
Sadly I’ve spent all day worrying over it and worry I will have to rebuy clothes airers.
Not the first time I did this when the room had ants I took the airers out the room and I wouldn’t use them again as I worried they went near the wash basket.
The towels were wet but sometimes after showering they were wet but despite all the washing being wet that wasn’t enough to reassure some today.
I have a few ocd issues ones where germs may have actually touched something like the wash basket and other one is these false thoughts or doubts if I did something or not but both cause me lots of worry. As I said In another topic I did do away with the wash basket but it’s still caused me lots of worries that the camera, tv, my jacket touched the wash basket so I won’t use them much.
My ocd is either toilet germs or dirty washing doesn’t seem to be much else. I know they try and make you not throw away with theropy however that may not work for me.
Really my worry is if I did get new clothes airers this time I believe I will have the same worry again and becomes an expensive cycle. I find it hard to retrace my steps in the past I use to worry I forgot to take my tablets so I had to write it down.
Also I had this worry a few times before about the washing but never threw stuff away however the worries affect me different day to day and I could end up having a bad ocd day. For example this would be where I take a towel, take another and another on repeat to wash my hands as I get a thought the towel got dirty.
---------- Post added at 19:02 ---------- Previous post was at 19:00 ----------
If I don’t replace the airers the I will every day end up thinking maybe dirty washing went on them this is the issue when I have ocd bad. if this is genuine this cycle needs to be stopped and you are giving up again you said you don't think the OCD site in so many words would able to help you don't know till you contact them, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain :) Lets us know how you are getting on! ATB
I’m having a bad day again worried the whole house is contaminated now :ohmy:
There’s just no way to rewind back to see if the washing was done or not even buying new airers may not help.
The radiators and drawers and my clothes could now all be dirty if the washing wasn’t washed :blush:
[QUOTE=phil06;1736398]I’m having a bad day again worried the whole house is contaminated now :ohmy:
There’s just no way to rewind back to see if the washing was done or not even buying new airers may not help.
The radiators and drawers and my clothes could now all be dirty if the washing wasn’t washed :blush:[/QUOTE You will have many more 'bad' days unless you seek help I am now done tried to help and its not getting me any where:huh: ATB
[QUOTE=phil06;1736398]I’m having a bad day again worried the whole house is contaminated now :ohmy:
There’s just no way to rewind back to see if the washing was done or not even buying new airers may not help.
The radiators and drawers and my clothes could now all be dirty if the washing wasn’t washed :blush:[/QUOTE You will have many more 'bad' days unless you seek help I am now done tried to help and its not getting me any where:huh: ATB
I need to replace things so I don’t think anybody can help because I end up rebuying.
Update
Given into ocd bought new airers.
Cleaned the radiator down but still worried.
Obsessed about everywhere the washing went to contentiong replacing 2/3 drawers but they cost £60 each.
Basically everywhere the washing went now worries me yes it was probably washed but I couldn’t reassure my mind.
---------- Post added at 21:52 ---------- Previous post was at 21:41 ----------
I’m annoyed about this as my partner should have just let me rewash it I’ve done this in the past before removing it from the machine.
---------- Post added at 22:25 ---------- Previous post was at 21:52 ----------
I’ve sat on sofa and dining room chairs so worried they could be dirty aswell as the two pairs of trousers from that wash I wasn’t sure about were put in my drawers so were not rewashed so every time I sit on sofa I will now think contamination.
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