snowflake293
24-08-15, 14:30
I can't shake the fear that something terrible is going to happen. I am worried that I am going to get a phone call and I loved one will have had an accident or will be seriously ill in hospital or worse! I worry mostly about my fiancé and my father. My father has diabetes and had a health scare at Christmas, I had a phone call in the early hours that he had gone into hospital with a suspected heart attack. Thanks be to God he was ok but all the time now I am thinking about him and hoping he will be ok. Every time the phone rings I panic thinking it will be bad news. Every time I see my father I think he is going to tell me some bad news about his health.
My fears have come and gone over the last year or so. I've had one lot of CBT and on the waiting list for 'high intensity' CBT. I am on 150mg Sertraline. I had my tablets increased about 3 weeks ago but I feel vile. I am having disturbing dreams, sweating and feel on edge most of the time. Sometimes I can't work out what's a dream and what actually happened. For example, a few nights I go I dreamt of being in a shop and I really had to think about whether it actually happened or not. Could this be from the Sertraline? I also find myself randomly remembering dreams from ages ago - really strange. I don't like these feelings as they are making me more anxious.
My biggest fear is my fiancé becoming ill or being involved in an accident. I find it hard to relax and concentrate on activities I used to enjoy because the fear is always there in the back of my mind. Every morning when I kiss him goodbye before we leave for work I hug him so tight like I am never going to see him again because in the back of my mind this is what I fear the most! It is so wrong to have this fear all the time.
I am constantly checking my own body and worrying over symptoms. My HA did get better for a while but it has gotten bad again. As well as HA I am also anxious in general over things like time keeping, tidiness, order and control. I hate the feeling of not being in control. Sometimes I feel like I totally zone out and just want to sit in silence. It is bad when this happens when I have company cause normally I am the 'life and soul of the party' so when I am quiet people really notice.
I would never have said I was depressed a few months ago but I feel like my anxiety is really grinding me down now. I just want to get better.
Sorry for the long post...
My fears have come and gone over the last year or so. I've had one lot of CBT and on the waiting list for 'high intensity' CBT. I am on 150mg Sertraline. I had my tablets increased about 3 weeks ago but I feel vile. I am having disturbing dreams, sweating and feel on edge most of the time. Sometimes I can't work out what's a dream and what actually happened. For example, a few nights I go I dreamt of being in a shop and I really had to think about whether it actually happened or not. Could this be from the Sertraline? I also find myself randomly remembering dreams from ages ago - really strange. I don't like these feelings as they are making me more anxious.
My biggest fear is my fiancé becoming ill or being involved in an accident. I find it hard to relax and concentrate on activities I used to enjoy because the fear is always there in the back of my mind. Every morning when I kiss him goodbye before we leave for work I hug him so tight like I am never going to see him again because in the back of my mind this is what I fear the most! It is so wrong to have this fear all the time.
I am constantly checking my own body and worrying over symptoms. My HA did get better for a while but it has gotten bad again. As well as HA I am also anxious in general over things like time keeping, tidiness, order and control. I hate the feeling of not being in control. Sometimes I feel like I totally zone out and just want to sit in silence. It is bad when this happens when I have company cause normally I am the 'life and soul of the party' so when I am quiet people really notice.
I would never have said I was depressed a few months ago but I feel like my anxiety is really grinding me down now. I just want to get better.
Sorry for the long post...