ara
26-08-15, 05:30
I've been living with my partner for just over a year now and I feel like I am overwhelmed and exhausted by dealing with his anxiety. He goes through these bouts of GAD and sometimes depression where he becomes extremely uncommunicative, he ends up reacting to everything like it's a crisis and he gets so preoccupied by his anxiety that he ends up forgetting to turn the stove off, or making a mess on my desk and not cleaning it up--they aren't huge things but a lot of little, inconsiderate actions that add up to a lot of frustration, he also becomes very needy and disrespectful of any alone time I need and I often end up feeling like he's using me as a grounding tool, rather than relating to me as a human.
A major thing that I am having a hard time dealing with his the fact that he almost completely unaware of when these cycles start. He will begin to stress eat, or take these three hour long naps and sleep through his alarm, and when I point out that this is how his bad cycles start he will always maintain that he's perfectly fine. After a bad bout he behaves as though it will never happen again, but it always does.
I love him deeply, and when he isn't anxious he is a kind, thoughtful, loving, man who makes me laugh and who I have a very wonderful life with. But every time he lapses back into his anxiety behaviour I just want to leave and be finished with this relationship. Lately I feel like I have no emotional energy left for him or for me, and I'm starting to feel like I am so short tempered and chronically frustrated towards him and I don't want to be like that. But I have also noticed that talking to him gently, and kindly about his behaviour doesn't work, we have to be in a relationship crisis before he is willing to take responsiblity for his own self care and begin doing the things (exercise, proper diet, taking time to relax) that will make him feel better.
tl;DR does anyone have partners who are unable to take responsibility for their anxiety? How do you work through your frustration and support them, while still managing to have enough emotional energy left over to enjoy the rest of your life?
A major thing that I am having a hard time dealing with his the fact that he almost completely unaware of when these cycles start. He will begin to stress eat, or take these three hour long naps and sleep through his alarm, and when I point out that this is how his bad cycles start he will always maintain that he's perfectly fine. After a bad bout he behaves as though it will never happen again, but it always does.
I love him deeply, and when he isn't anxious he is a kind, thoughtful, loving, man who makes me laugh and who I have a very wonderful life with. But every time he lapses back into his anxiety behaviour I just want to leave and be finished with this relationship. Lately I feel like I have no emotional energy left for him or for me, and I'm starting to feel like I am so short tempered and chronically frustrated towards him and I don't want to be like that. But I have also noticed that talking to him gently, and kindly about his behaviour doesn't work, we have to be in a relationship crisis before he is willing to take responsiblity for his own self care and begin doing the things (exercise, proper diet, taking time to relax) that will make him feel better.
tl;DR does anyone have partners who are unable to take responsibility for their anxiety? How do you work through your frustration and support them, while still managing to have enough emotional energy left over to enjoy the rest of your life?