Can't cope anymore - Lost My Job and More

[Female healthanxiety]

Thank you for opening.....

I'm in such a bad place at the moment, and in turn my health anxiety is through the roof!!!

I've just lost my job due to me taking so much time off to see to my younger sister, who is autistic and for the last year has had depression which has resulted in her harming herself, running away from home. It's just me and my mum so I always take the joint parental role.

The only positive thing going for me was my job, great money, lovely people, and now I lost that this week I feel like my whole life is shattered.

Not all the time I've taken off has been because of my sister, but also due to my anxiety and feeling unwell.

My sister has been voluntarily sectioned, and this was the absolute last resort, but she seems happy to be there.

I have had constant dizziness, diarroah, hot flushes, red ears, feeling sick all of the time, twitchy, exhausted, to name a few.

My DR gave me 28 Diazepan (5mg) but as always am scared to take them, BUT have been taking half and then the other half daily, again that is my anxiety telling me I will get addicted to them - yet another thing added to the list of anxieties.

My grandad last week (aged 80 and lots of health problems) was also in hospital from a slip in the shower.

I feel awful on my mother too as I just feel like her blood pressure will increase.

I don't want to get ill because I need to look after my family. I haven't done a great job of looking after myself admittedly, because now I'm faced with no job (my bills were 75% of my salary).

Just don't know where to turn......

[MrAndy]

its no wonder you are anxious with al that going on,do you have any close family you can turn to for support ? Maybe you can talk to one of the doctors where your sister is staying ?

[GoWhiteSox]

as mrandy said you are certainly entitled to feel anxiety right now...dont be scared of taking meds right now if they help you thru this tough time..

your sister and granddad are more important than any job! do not feel guilt there will be other jobs! take care of yourself and keep giving support to your family members..we will support you any way we can

[snowflake293]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this *hugs*

It is totally normal your anxiety would flare during such a stressful and difficult time. It is a horrible feeling where you don't know where to turn :( Do you have any friends/family who can offer your some practical advice or support?

[natalie yog]

Don't feel guilty about feeling this way. I used to feel guilty as I am a full time carer for my nan who is mentally ill, my Granddad took seriously ill so I had to look after him too and my Mum is a full time carer worker so I felt horrible when she was tired coming home so I didn't want to go and tell her what I was going through in my own mind. So for years I kept things to myself for years and its only this year that I've seen a dr for help and took my first steps to get counselling.
Is there anyway at all you can seek counselling ?

[sial72]

Being a carer is one of the most stressful things in life, I admire you. You are obviously a very caring and brave person, so I'm sure when things are a bit better you will be offered a job xx

[Female healthanxiety]

Thank you for all your replies, sorry have taken a couple of hours to respond, I actually fell asleep on the sofa not long after I wrote my post.

Mr Andy - yes I know, it seems to be so overwhelming, and when I think things can't get worse, something else always does and this has been the pattern for a while.

I do have a few close friends, but I always feel lately that things feel so horrible, I don't want to talk as it brings up everything, I do speak to them most days, but lately haven't wanted too as i would have to just talk about everything...

Thanks gowhitesox - yes they are important just overwhelmed as to how I'm going to pay rent, bills this month, so I feel losing my job has had so many bad consequences, which has led to my anxiety spiralling out of control. Just feel like curling up and crying to be honest.

Thank you for the *hug* Snowflake - much needed. If I had the money I would love to get away but then I am the carer at the moment so that's not possible. Generally speaking, I speak to my DR on the phone, I did today.

Thanks Natalie - yours sounds very similar to my journey, I used to run around everywhere but now it's like I am unable to do that. I hide my anxiety from my mum and sister as this will just make them feel worse and to be honest them knowing would make me feel worse.

Am so glad you've sought the help you deserved, I waited 4 months for CBT, attended 2 sessions but all of these problems was at there worse and I was unable to attend the appointments.

SIAL - thank you for your kind words. It's tough and I've never thought of myself as a 'Carer' how weird to hear that word!!

[dally]

Hi
So sorry you are going through all this.
As humans we can only take so much stress then something has to give...
But, you don't have the luxury of being ill because of the demands on you. I really feel for you.

It is my experience, doctors do not prescribe Valium easily nowadays, so your Dr must really think you need it.

Yes they can be additive. But taken as prescribed and monitored closely by ur gp. They can be a very effective drug in helping you through some very stressful situations.

I'm my opinion, Valium is better taken as a full course for two weeks Max, which let's your body relax physically and so allows you to put things into perspective and see a way forward ,(perhaps with a counsellor)
Rather than taking small doses that may be ineffective to the stress you're under.

I wish you well

[lior]

Was it a fair dismissal that you took time off to see your sister?

Maybe you could get your job back, or call a lawyer to see if you can get a pay out from your old employer?

Anxiety is a normal emotion in stressful circumstances. It's only not normal when it's there disproportionately to the situation.

Look after yourself before you look after others. In a plane they tell you to put your life mask on yourself before you put one on someone else.

[swgrl09]

Wow, so sorry to read what you have been through. I can't imagine how tiring and stressful this has been. You are doing everything you can to take care of your family. I agree with lior - take care of yourself or you cannot take care of other people. If you weren't anxious about this, it would be abnormal. But this is an expected reaction to what you're going through.

:hugs:

[Greenman50]

Hi

Just on valium ? .....or meds like ssri,s aswell .


Valium is ok short term i can assure you been there its very safe for a difficult period in your life .

Better than alcohol which i now use and am getting help for thats far more addictive imho .

Hang in there my friend things do get better i can assure you but at the time its hard , one hour at a time keep busy and try and focus on anything good it helps the recovery long term :hugs:

[Female healthanxiety]

I am sincerely grateful for all your lovely replies.

Daily - yes your right we are only human and I knew it would only be a matter of time until I stopped being the warrior.

I would love to get up every morning and take one just to get through what tomorrow has to throw, but the DR said take one as needed, which obviously at the moment is everyday :shrug:

Lior / they said it wasn't due to my time off but something I did wrong on sage (which is rubbish, I know I'm good at my job) but hey ho.

I just want my mum and my sister to get back to a normal life, but for the past year it's been a nightmare and living with constant anxiety. I would love to turn my phone off for the day but don't have it in my heart to do that, I've too much responsibility.

Thank you Sw girl, I just wish for a little bit of me back.

No I have not been on SRIs just Diazepan. And I am also prone to the odd bottle of wine, but it does make me feel worse the next day!

Xxx