View Full Version : Lymphoma/Enlarged Spleen fears
Hi guys, this is my first post in this forum.
I just want to say how great it's been to read this forum over this past month or so. For me, it's been a very difficult time and seeing people on here going through similar things has been comforting (in a strange way).
Anyway, I've been treated for General Anxiety for the past year or so now and it's been getting so much better but the past two months my health anxiety has been through the roof.
It all started after a CT scan accidentally found a (slightly) enlarged spleen. The doctor I saw at the time didn't seem too concerned and checked me for lumps and found none but sent me for multiple blood tests including FBC, ESR etc.
The problem was when I got home and googled (out of just interest really) "enlarged spleen", it was the beginning of hell. One thing I freaked out about was night sweats. I have had night sweats in the past (during a stressful time/warmer weather coming in) but more recently they'd gone, until my health anxiety had gone through the roof so much dreading night sweats that I've started to get them again. I must point out that they're not "drenching" - I literally get a couple of patches of damp on my pillow/sheets. I also sweat a lot during the day too. They're also on and off. Not every night.
The week later I saw our family doctor who told me that my blood tests were completely normal and he wasn't concerned, but for my piece of mind, he'd send them to a haematologist. He also checked my groin, armpits and neck for lymph nodes and couldn't find any (as has another doctor and a nurse). Both doctors who checked for my spleen couldn't feel it either.
After an afternoon checking my blood, the haematologist then contacted the doctor to tell him there was nothing to worry about, enlarged spleens were apparently a lot more common now due to these advanced screening and where my blood was apparently slightly raised, it wasn't relevant to anything sinister and there was nothing to worry about. My doctors words to me where "there's no concern, from a haematologist point of view, it's done" The problem is, I still can't get it out of my mind. I've reassurance seeked from everyone who tells me I'm fine. I just feel terrified now of sleeping and waking up soaked (hence being on here at 2:00 am when I'm so exhausted)
So long story short,
my two lots of blood tests are fine, my chest x-ray was fine, my CT was fine (apart from enlarged spleen) a doctor, a haemotologist and a nurse has told me there's nothing to worry about - the only concern I have is for this large spleen and occasional night sweats.
I see a therapist who's put it like this to me: If there was something wrong, my blood/scans would have come back abnormal. I'm being treated for anxiety. What causes night sweats? Anxiety. What do I think it is that's causing it?
I guess when she puts it like this...
I must point out that other than this I am a healthy 21 year old male. I just want to start living again and enjoying life. I'm fed up of dreading sleep. It's been the most difficult two months. Thanks for any replies or feedback and sorry for the essay :blush:
Any advice guys?
I've been struggling these last few days. I go ok when I remind myself that all my tests are fine, yet if I wake up sweating in the night, it sets me back and my anxiety goes crazy :weep:
You've been given the best possible qualified reassurance you can possibly get. What could strangers on an anxiety website say that could do any better other than say what you already know?
Glad to see you're getting help with your anxiety!
Positive thoughts
You've been given the best possible qualified reassurance you can possibly get. What could strangers on an anxiety website say that could do any better other than say what you already know?
Glad to see you're getting help with your anxiety!
Positive thoughts
Thank you for replying!
You're so right, I'm so frustrated with myself. I can see how stupid it looks. It's just so annoying the way anxiety has took over my life, despite constant reassurance.
I think it's when I get a night sweat, that's what sets me off. It MUST be something wrong that they've missed I keep telling myself. I think I'm just having a hard time believing that my physical symptoms are caused by my mind. It's kind of scary that it's got this far.
Fallenangel76
02-09-15, 06:33
Hi I know how your feeling I've been having bad night sweats too and I've found a lump in my groin so freaking out now but you should really trust the doctor and professional people that's what they do every day so they would pick up on anything that wasn't right hence why you went down the road you did cos if your spleen anxiety is a cruel thing I've been battling it for 10 years now but take comfort in the doctors reassurance hope you feel better soon
Hi I know how your feeling I've been having bad night sweats too and I've found a lump in my groin so freaking out now but you should really trust the doctor and professional people that's what they do every day so they would pick up on anything that wasn't right hence why you went down the road you did cos if your spleen anxiety is a cruel thing I've been battling it for 10 years now but take comfort in the doctors reassurance hope you feel better soon
I know you're right! I guess you just have to believe the test results. I think the fear just takes over when you get a symptom and you start thinking "What if they missed something" - it's obviously just pure anxiety. I think it's just shocked me that it's got this bad.
Are you going to the doctor about your sweats/lump?
I'm a survivor. I had the real deal sweats. I still sweat at night. Sweating at night is normal. Soak the sheets through to the mattress and wring them out head to toe sweats is not. If it's the latter? Yeah, I'd check it out.
Positive thoughts
My anxiety has really come back these last few days. It's so horrible. :weep:
I just wish I knew what caused the enlarged spleen as I tested negative for things like mono. Like I originally put, the haematologist said there's no concern, but it's still niggling away in the back of my mind.
If all the blood tests and have come back ok, and you have been checked over by more than 1 doctor, i think it is pretty safe to say you are ok, You haven't mentioned anything weird or something that could be serious and you are still ok from your original post, I think you can go out and enjoy yourself, book a nice beach holiday somewhere and float on the sea water that always calms me down :)
I've been freaking out about lumps and bumps and stomach aches since i have had cancer 15 years ago, and im still here, i have my latest scare which is a small lymph node near my groin which a consultant found (that night i had the sweats) and i have been poking it hard to see if it changes but i think i have done more harm than good because now i ache in that area from all the poking, and it hasn't developed into anything, but i am also seeing my GP in a few weeks to see what he thinks of it...
So you are not alone, and you have the reassurance of your recent doctor visits who all say you are fine.
If all the blood tests and have come back ok, and you have been checked over by more than 1 doctor, i think it is pretty safe to say you are ok, You haven't mentioned anything weird or something that could be serious and you are still ok from your original post, I think you can go out and enjoy yourself, book a nice beach holiday somewhere and float on the sea water that always calms me down :)
I've been freaking out about lumps and bumps and stomach aches since i have had cancer 15 years ago, and im still here, i have my latest scare which is a small lymph node near my groin which a consultant found (that night i had the sweats) and i have been poking it hard to see if it changes but i think i have done more harm than good because now i ache in that area from all the poking, and it hasn't developed into anything, but i am also seeing my GP in a few weeks to see what he thinks of it...
So you are not alone, and you have the reassurance of your recent doctor visits who all say you are fine.
You'll have to let us know how your doctor's visit goes :) It's definitely nice to know I'm not alone with worry.
It's just difficult because I actually haven't been told what has caused the enlarged spleen, just that there is no concern. I think if there was an actual reason they had stated and I had treatment for it, my anxiety wouldn't be anywhere near as bad.
It comes and goes for me. The past couple of weeks I've been ok, knowing, like the above poster said, I've had the best possible qualified reassurance. But then I accidentally made the mistake of googling the other night and it just set me off again. :weep:
yes i have stopped googling and poking, i feel better, im hoping the pain from poking will subside, i can hold out for a few more days i think....
I don't realise it sometimes i poke really hard and then it hurts, i just have to remind myself that from the visit in august! i haven't got any sicker....
I remember a couple of years after my treatment i fell ridiculously ill, my lymph nodes swelled up and I was very dizzy and hot flushes....
We all thought the worst and was rushed to the hospital i had many tests done on me and nothing conclusive came of it, so to this day they were not sure what had caused it.
So sometimes the doctors don't have all the answers or able to predict how it happened but they might now how to cure it or determine if it is life threatening or not.
So don't be disheartened if they don't know why, just know that the checks which were performed came back in your favour and you shouldn't worry.
yes i have stopped googling and poking, i feel better, im hoping the pain from poking will subside, i can hold out for a few more days i think....
I don't realise it sometimes i poke really hard and then it hurts, i just have to remind myself that from the visit in august! i haven't got any sicker....
I remember a couple of years after my treatment i fell ridiculously ill, my lymph nodes swelled up and I was very dizzy and hot flushes....
We all thought the worst and was rushed to the hospital i had many tests done on me and nothing conclusive came of it, so to this day they were not sure what had caused it.
So sometimes the doctors don't have all the answers or able to predict how it happened but they might now how to cure it or determine if it is life threatening or not.
So don't be disheartened if they don't know why, just know that the checks which were performed came back in your favour and you shouldn't worry.
You've really hit the nail on the head there. That's the way of thinking I need. Not "what if" or "what's causing it" - more "well they've reassured me I'm fine after the relevant tests so I need to get on with it".
I'm a survivor. I had the real deal sweats. I still sweat at night. Sweating at night is normal. Soak the sheets through to the mattress and wring them out head to toe sweats is not. If it's the latter? Yeah, I'd check it out.
Positive thoughts
Did your night sweats start drenching straight away? Or was it gradually where you got a little bit sweaty and then they progressed?
---------- Post added at 00:08 ---------- Previous post was at 00:06 ----------
God, I've really been struggling. I feel so embarrassed. I'm at the point now where I literally cannot ask any more family or friends for reassurance. I guess being on a Health Anxiety forum is the right place.
I'm sorry you're struggling. Reassurance is not the answer and as you can see, it doesn't work anyway. I hope you find some peace...
Positive thoughts
I'm sorry you're struggling. Reassurance is not the answer and as you can see, it doesn't work anyway. I hope you find some peace...
Positive thoughts
It's bizarre because like you said, I've had the best qualified reassurance I can get.
The two things that bother me are when I get night sweats. It actually seems to be when I'm doing better with my anxiety, but it's obviously still subconsciously there, making it VERY difficult to control.
The second is that I still don't know what is causing my enlarged spleen, even though they've told me there is no concern.
I have never suffered from anything as horrible as HA and I just hope I find a way to get out of it soon.
Hi Gregg. This link will explain things. I suffered myself and still do on occasions. Try not to worry it makes it worse.
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/night-sweats
Thank you for that Clarisse. I know it's very likely to be anxiety. I think I just freak out because of my enlarged spleen and I start to think it could be something else. I just try to remind myself that the tests were reassuring.
I just wish I knew how to deal with it. It's difficult for me, because it's not totally made up. I know I have an enlarged spleen, so that triggers the anxiety, despite being told there is no concern by multiple people.
I had a night sweat last night, however my anxiety has been a little better recently.
Thank you to the people in this thread that have reminded me I've had the best reassurance I can get, it's definitely helped. I have good days and bad days though. The problem with what sets me back is when I get a night sweat though, I start thinking about my spleen and whether I do have lymphoma and they haven't found it yet.
So just a quick update. I had a telephone consultation on Friday with the doctor who originally saw me and told me about how people have spleens of different sizes and there was no evidence of anything like Lymphoma. He told me that the blood tests and definitely the scans I've had, would have picked it up.
He told me if I was suffering really badly with anxiety, he could send me to a haematologist. I then explained that the second doctor had already sent my blood results to a haematologist who was happy with the results. He then said that was obviously good news.
He reckons that if I want to keep an eye on it, in 4 or 5 months time I can always go for my blood again and another CT to check on the size of the spleen, but for now, everything is fine.
When I spoke to my therapist about night sweats last week she said they are a symptom of anxiety but because they're continuing, speak to my GP. When I explained that I only get a bit damp she said I shouldn't even bother mentioning it to the GP, I just get a bit sweaty at night, night sweats are when the bed is soaked through your PJ's (like I've already been told on this thread, I know)
My sweating at night (I won't call them Night Sweats as they're not drenching) has been on and off and stopped for the past week, until last night I woke up twice with a damp chest and neck and hair. Of course this kind of ups my anxiety a bit but I'm trying my best to control it.
I too have had lots of worries about my spleen, had an ultrasound done and it showed up fine.
I have also a ton of lymphoma worries as someone the same age as me died from it about 2 years ago just out of nowhere. So it had me scared like crazy!
I've had a ton of tests done too and all come back fine. We just get so worried I think especially when we hear alot about death.
I too have had lots of worries about my spleen, had an ultrasound done and it showed up fine.
I have also a ton of lymphoma worries as someone the same age as me died from it about 2 years ago just out of nowhere. So it had me scared like crazy!
I've had a ton of tests done too and all come back fine. We just get so worried I think especially when we hear alot about death.
Yeah I agree. I don't the media helps. Also googling this summer has been the worst thing that I've ever done for my anxiety.
Not one doctor has ever suspected Lymphoma, yet because of my googling and matching symptoms, I convinced myself I had it.
That is one thing that I stayed away from looking up. Its hard not to but my mind just wants to find things out, give myself some reassurance, as in, okay its not that but maybe it is!
Unfortunately I've already looked up tons of other diseases related to my symptoms and now I'm fearful of it constantly.
Googling symptoms is a terrible thing to do all it does is create fear and doesn't fix anything. Even if you had the disease, what good is googling it going to do?
I think we more or less just tend to want to protect ourselves from every outcome. My OCD is horrible for that. I'm not terribly bad with OCD routines but it can get in the way of my life at times.
My mind wants to predict every outcome and then prepare for it if necessary. The problem with that is, my mind predicts nonsensical outcomes and sometimes the worst outcome possible so as to "protect" myself. All thats doing though is making my anxiety worse.
When I spoke to the doctor on Friday, he said something about a spleen biopsy being an option, but I think that was only if they'd found something wrong with my current tests.
I specifically asked the doctor, "With the tests I've had done, would they show up lymphoma?" His reply was "yes"
I guess I just have to hang on them words and forget everything else.
Obviously with the spleen biopsy being mentioned, it's played a bit of havoc with my anxiety, but I just need to stop thinking about it.
I know what does it for me, it's when I wake up sweating in the night, I go back to square one.
---------- Post added at 23:14 ---------- Previous post was at 23:08 ----------
You've been given the best possible qualified reassurance you can possibly get. What could strangers on an anxiety website say that could do any better other than say what you already know?
Glad to see you're getting help with your anxiety!
Positive thoughts
I want to say a massive thank you for this post.
When my anxiety comes back (like it is right now) I log on and look at this post as a reminder of how stupid I've been. With you being someone who has survived it and obviously knowing when there is something to be worried about, bringing me back down to earth has honestly helped me so much these past few weeks.
I think I've finally realised I'm ok...
The problem now is the second Dr saying I can go for repeat tests if I want to keep an eye on it in the new year.
It's torturing me. It feels like it's going to be hanging over me and stopping me from getting on with life :(
You'll have to let us know how your doctor's visit goes :) It's definitely nice to know I'm not alone with worry.
It's just difficult because I actually haven't been told what has caused the enlarged spleen, just that there is no concern. I think if there was an actual reason they had stated and I had treatment for it, my anxiety wouldn't be anywhere near as bad.
It comes and goes for me. The past couple of weeks I've been ok, knowing, like the above poster said, I've had the best possible qualified reassurance. But then I accidentally made the mistake of googling the other night and it just set me off again. :weep:
Anyone got any tips on getting this out of my head? Been a tough couple of weeks :weep:
My children lost their father to lymphoma.
His was found when he went into hospital with severe stomach pains and an enlarged spleen. An enlarged spleen in a cancer patient is very obvious. It looked like he had a rugby ball stuck in his stomach. It wasn't just noticeable on scans, you could actually see the organ protruding through his skin.
Once lymphoma is advanced enough to cause an enlarged spleen you would have many more symptoms.
The drs don't think you have anything to worry about so all you can do now is fight your anxiety. It's the hardest thing to do I know, but you are unwell, just not physically, but mentally and you need to spend your time and energy fighting this horrible illness.
While we are worried about dying we are living a half life. I know my children's dad died at a very young age but he lived life to the full, up until the day he could no longer do so. Right now you are fit and well, don't waste your life by thinking of dying, fight it with everything you have got, because one day when you are much older you will regret spending so much time worrying about dying instead of enjoying your life.
I know this is all easier said than done, but I try to think this way. I have turned HA into a battle. I'm no longer passive, the illness can try to get me, but I'm not going down without a fight. I will fight it because it is not taking anymore precious time off me.
Losing my ex husband has changed my perspective. When he was ill and dying he didn't spend as much time as I did worrying, he got on with it, he realised life was precious and spent the rest of his time enjoying what time he had while he still could. He was amazing and an inspiration. You aren't dying, you are physically healthy. HA can try to get me but heck if I'm going to be passive like I once was.
I have times where I worry, where the monster wants to draw me back in and sometimes I think it might win, but now I see it as my enemy, a thing that wants me to go down and I'm stronger than the monster so if it wants to come back it has a serious fight on its hands.
This may or may not help you. It has taken me years to get to this stage and I feel much better for thinking of it as the enemy, something I have to fight.
Hi Hypo,
Thank you for your post. Firstly, I am sorry to hear about the father of your children. It really is a cruel disease. I find it interesting the way he lived life to the full though and how inspiring he was.
You're right, I was thinking last night, I've had two doctors, a haematologist and two nurses tell me I'm fine. Even my therapist was like "You're clearly fine." Nobody is concerned about my health physically, it's mentally.
The haematologist even told my doctor how these bigger spleens are now much more common these days because of all the advanced screenings we have now. Plus I'm quite a big guy in height and apparently bigger people have bigger spleens.
One interesting thing I've found is that, in August, I started to panic about night sweats. I have had them before but not regularly and they'd stopped. But since my Lymphoma fears came, they'd started again because my focus was "please don't have night sweats" and I was going to bed very anxious, dreading sleep, from July to about a week ago. Suddenly I stopped being concerned and my focus shifted to "I hope I don't have to go back for more tests next year" and the sweating at night stopped.
It's like my mind needs a problem, or what it perceives as a problem, to focus on. It's now telling me that I can't enjoy Christmas because a couple of months later, I might go back for a CT and repeat bloods and this time it might find tumours or that my spleen has grown more.
I think it's a shock to me this year how mentally ill I've become. I've always been "a worrier" but I never thought I'd convince myself I'm ill when I'm not. My biggest fear is getting an illness that could threaten or take my life. I have a fear of putting my family through it. So anything my mind takes as a sign of that (in this case a bigger spleen), it goes into overdrive.
When I went for my blood test results, my mum even broke down in the doctors room. She wasn't crying about my health, she knew I was fine. She was upset about how bad my mind had got. I think any parent wants to see their kids happy and she just couldn't believe how bad my anxiety had got.
I can honestly say, it's been the toughest few months of my life. I never realised how bad it was. Going through therapy doesn't seem to have helped that much over it.
I think the way you see it, the worry, as a monster and your enemy is quite a good way to look at it. The mind just loves problems and worry.
Ok just a quick update,
I spoke to the doctor this morning and he basically said I don't need to go back for any repeat tests on my spleen. He was keen to send me but the specialist he spoke to said I can forget about it now and move on.
My mind is trying to say "what if, what if" but I'm determined not to listen this time.
This is a sigh of relief as I didn't want it hanging over me over Christmas. I am hoping this is the beginning of me getting better now.
Stephenie.welch
10-09-17, 16:26
Did you have contrast?
This thread is from 2015 and the OP was last online in mid August. Suffice it to say, it wasn't what was feared.
Positive thoughts
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