Merle
28-08-15, 13:04
I am scared and worried about my health. I have since 2013 when after losing the love of my life suddenly and unexpectedly the year before, I suffered bad chest infection, which I felt was the result of sitting out late at night in the garden, crying my eyes out. I went to bereavement counselling for a year, which helped some. Since 2013, my health has been on a rollercoaster. I have had bronchitis, which thankfully cleared up. I am so scared of getting colds or flu as last time was hard to shift, it took two months for it go after taking antibiotics.
Last May, my health took a nosedive again. I experienced a dizzy spell when I was out, that left me scared and shaken. It got worse, I couldn't turn my head right or left as I felt I would black out. Then it progressed where I could hardly walk outside, was worse in shopping centres with bright lights or white floors. The feeling of being on a boat on choppy seas feeling. I had to take baby steps when walking and felt everyone was looking and laughing at me. I felt like I like an elderly person who had to use a walking frame to get put one foot in front of the other.
This all eventually went, when I changed my regular shoes from my flat non grip ones to another pair that had grips. The feeling of panic subsided. and I can walk out now and go to shopping malls no problem, but I run into the occasional palpitations ( I have had two ecgs and everything was all clear, despite having a fast heartbeat and a little bit above normal blood pressure) and always carry a bottle of water with me now, as I find comfort in that. I constantly think of my health and feel that I am on my way to something serious. I am waiting on getting an ultrasound for possible digestive problems. I watch my bowel movements and check to see what is going on there. It is not looking good I get occasionally slight fatty stools, and my stools either float or sink or both at times. They're slight brown but more hedging toward a mustard colour. I have had what looked like linseed in them, sort of black on the outside with yellow in the middle, when I broke it apart. I have changed my diet and lost weight, though not through much exercise, I sometimes eat a gluten free diet but have not been told too by my doctor. I eat pulses, grains, seeds, nuts, and vegetarian food.
I experience symptoms on a daily basis and these are,
Inner vibrations from my chest through to top parts of my legs.
Broken sleep.
Feeling out of it, and scared of going out.
Lack of focus,
Nervousness
Feeling of dread that things are going to get worse.
Occasional chest tightness or pain
Nerve or bone pain in either hand, sometimes just the right sometimes the left but never both at the same time.
Today, when I woke up, I had a pain in the back of my right shoulder blade, just underneath the bottom of it, which has now gone, but the inner vibrations remain, I then felt I had a bit of mucus lodged somewhere either in my upper chest or bottom of my throat, when I coughed it up, it was light green with a bit of another colour edging it. It looked dark orangeish or brownish. I couldn't tell. I have not coughed anything else up so far. I felt cold this morning, and had to put on the heating. I had also a pain in the joint/nerve of my right hand, running from the middle finger, my index finger down to the beginning of my wrist.
I started to think about what it all might be and now I am worried about this. I watch for changes in my skin and how I look. I have got lines on my face that were not there before and feel I have aged in a matter of months. I never used to be like this, just since 2013, my health hasn't been what it used to be. I am so scared its all going to get worse and that something will happen to me when I am out. I worry too, when someone or a friend asks me am I ok. This makes me worried more so, cos maybe they don't think I am ok, or they know something I don't know.
I am just so very scared and I don't want to take another trip to the doctor or hospital.
I cry a lot and my mind turns over aspects of my health everyday, and everyday seems to bring a new set of symptoms, yet there are days of some respite, the night before last night, I had better sleep and felt good that day, I felt close to feeling normal and then today I wake with this.
I feel so lost
Also have suffered from migraines in the past, one where I lost feeling in my left arm. I had an mri and was given the all clear and told to try avoid stress, and chocolate and cheese, Just as a note I do suffer from vertigo and anaemia
Last May, my health took a nosedive again. I experienced a dizzy spell when I was out, that left me scared and shaken. It got worse, I couldn't turn my head right or left as I felt I would black out. Then it progressed where I could hardly walk outside, was worse in shopping centres with bright lights or white floors. The feeling of being on a boat on choppy seas feeling. I had to take baby steps when walking and felt everyone was looking and laughing at me. I felt like I like an elderly person who had to use a walking frame to get put one foot in front of the other.
This all eventually went, when I changed my regular shoes from my flat non grip ones to another pair that had grips. The feeling of panic subsided. and I can walk out now and go to shopping malls no problem, but I run into the occasional palpitations ( I have had two ecgs and everything was all clear, despite having a fast heartbeat and a little bit above normal blood pressure) and always carry a bottle of water with me now, as I find comfort in that. I constantly think of my health and feel that I am on my way to something serious. I am waiting on getting an ultrasound for possible digestive problems. I watch my bowel movements and check to see what is going on there. It is not looking good I get occasionally slight fatty stools, and my stools either float or sink or both at times. They're slight brown but more hedging toward a mustard colour. I have had what looked like linseed in them, sort of black on the outside with yellow in the middle, when I broke it apart. I have changed my diet and lost weight, though not through much exercise, I sometimes eat a gluten free diet but have not been told too by my doctor. I eat pulses, grains, seeds, nuts, and vegetarian food.
I experience symptoms on a daily basis and these are,
Inner vibrations from my chest through to top parts of my legs.
Broken sleep.
Feeling out of it, and scared of going out.
Lack of focus,
Nervousness
Feeling of dread that things are going to get worse.
Occasional chest tightness or pain
Nerve or bone pain in either hand, sometimes just the right sometimes the left but never both at the same time.
Today, when I woke up, I had a pain in the back of my right shoulder blade, just underneath the bottom of it, which has now gone, but the inner vibrations remain, I then felt I had a bit of mucus lodged somewhere either in my upper chest or bottom of my throat, when I coughed it up, it was light green with a bit of another colour edging it. It looked dark orangeish or brownish. I couldn't tell. I have not coughed anything else up so far. I felt cold this morning, and had to put on the heating. I had also a pain in the joint/nerve of my right hand, running from the middle finger, my index finger down to the beginning of my wrist.
I started to think about what it all might be and now I am worried about this. I watch for changes in my skin and how I look. I have got lines on my face that were not there before and feel I have aged in a matter of months. I never used to be like this, just since 2013, my health hasn't been what it used to be. I am so scared its all going to get worse and that something will happen to me when I am out. I worry too, when someone or a friend asks me am I ok. This makes me worried more so, cos maybe they don't think I am ok, or they know something I don't know.
I am just so very scared and I don't want to take another trip to the doctor or hospital.
I cry a lot and my mind turns over aspects of my health everyday, and everyday seems to bring a new set of symptoms, yet there are days of some respite, the night before last night, I had better sleep and felt good that day, I felt close to feeling normal and then today I wake with this.
I feel so lost
Also have suffered from migraines in the past, one where I lost feeling in my left arm. I had an mri and was given the all clear and told to try avoid stress, and chocolate and cheese, Just as a note I do suffer from vertigo and anaemia