ended up at a/e

[tricia56]

hi the past few weeks have been really bad , been feeling nausea all the time really anxiouse but every day since last saterday my legs and arms kept getting really weak feeling as if I couldn't breath properly pains in my upper back and chest my jaw seemed to ache pain in my neck kept having hot sweats felt clamy, I put it down to anxiety as it seems to happen mostly in the mornings. but Monday morning, but on wensday morning it happened again but this time I just felt that something is really wrong with me as I was getting all them symtoms but getting pains in my upper arms and I just felt so scared so I called 111 , they sent a ambulance out and they checked me over done all the vital checks said that they all looked fine but they took me to a/e because they were concerned about the pains in my arms. I spent the most of the day in a/e they done blood test had ecgs and everthing came back normal and said it was anxiety panic attacks, I felt so relieved that it wasn't anything seriouses,but this morning I had to go and see my gp and just before I left my house to walk up to the surgery my legs started to feel really weak I still carried on walking to the surgery and I could feel the panic attack coming on kept thinking wat if I collapse on the pavement I managed to get to the surgery but I had another bad panic attack while sitting waiting to go into see the doctor. my gp saw how I was and confirmed it was a panic attack, but now im panicking because I cant stop thinking why have I started to get these panic attacks everday when I never used to have them before and does it mean im going to get them all the time and every day and does it mean the anxiety is going to get worse, im too petriefied to take ants even tho my gp says they might help me and stop me feeling so panicky but for the life of me I cant seem to have the courage to take them even the thought of taking them sends me into a panic yet I don't want to keep feeling the way I do day in day out feeling so anxiouse and now having to deal with the panic attacks aswell, I beat myself up everyday asking myself should I or shouldn't I take them and try to convince myself that they might make me feel better but then I get all the wat ifs go thro my mind and then that's when the fear sets in. sorry for such along post but I need to tell some one how I am and how I feel,and if someone can maybe give me some advise regarding why I have started to have the panic attacks and will they get worse or if there are other suffers who feel this way espeacialy with the meds thing thank you

[Fishmanpa]

I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly. I've watched you struggle with this in the time I've been on the forum. Anxiety is an illness and left untreated it can get worse. That appears to be what's happening IMO.

As I've posted before, something has to give. It really is a black or white question and choice. With the way things have been going, you either continue to feel this way or give meds a shot and see if they help.

Either way I do hope you find some peace.

Positive thoughts

[tricia56]

thk you fishmanpa I know im shruggling and like you said its a choice only I can make, i have a phobia of medication not just antidepressants i wont even take a vitamin pill so its something ive got to overcome,ive just always believed that antidepressants doesn't cure the anxiety only masks it and takes the edge off your symtoms and that you can either overcome your anxiety or learn to mange and control it with the right help,as you know ive done the cbt a few times and only helped alittle but cbt is limited to wat it can do, i have a appointment the end of October to see a phsyciatricist as i foned up a orgonisation called pals and explained to them how i am and how i couldn't have nomore cbt because i wont take meds and they told me told me that i can self refer myself to mental health help even tho i don't take meds so i foned them and spoke to a clinical nurse about everything wats happened in my life and how i am and she said that because of all the traumas and other things that have happened in my life that there is other therapy i can have without not having to take meds and made the appointment for me to have the assessment with the physciatrist so maybe they might be able to help me.

[bekw89]

Hi

Sorry your having such a hard time I know exactly how u feel. Pretty much in the same boat. I will say this about tablets I put them off and thought I could do it alone but in the end I couldn't -not to say it cant be done- but iv been taking 10mg of citalopram for a week upped to 20mg and am glad I did, no side effects when starting on the 10. Which tablets have they given you?

[Fishmanpa]

Glad to see you're taking steps and being pro-active in getting help. Hope things begin to improve for you!

Positive thoughts

[tricia56]

hi bek thk you for your support the doc as given me sertraline 50mil xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Tricia,

I'm sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. :hugs:

But I'm really please to see you have been told you can self refer to a local service for help. So, your GP was basically wrong and blocking you from getting help? It will be interesting to see what they say and please discuss the issue with taking things. Meds are harder because of all the side effects we fear but because it's so general, there are supplements that you can try that won't cause you any side effects e.g. vitamin C. This means they can try an exposure therapy and work up through some lesser impacting things if they need to before you get to meds.

I hope things work out for you. Your CBT has been poor as it was so short and I think you have been let down by the NHS before. I hope this service can provide you with a much better standard of care. If you are in England, you are now allowed to choose the provider too so if people are willing they can often travel a bit further to get a better service. This came in late last year. You can't choose the therapy though.

I think this service sound more like the community mental health teams as they are crosstrained in various forms of therapy unlike the IAPT services.

[tricia56]

thk u terry for your kind support. it is the local metal health team in Coventry were I live, I am scared to go and see the psychiatrist because incase they say that its not anxiety its something worse,andwill have to take meds or they will section me if I don't as a few yrs ago when i saw one he told me that if i didn't take the meds he would section me i did post about wat happened on here about it, i just feel that if i could just exept that its anxiety and not be so fearful of all the symtoms and feelingsi could learn to live with it and manage it a lot better but for some reason i cant seem to do that i always think that there must be something else wrong either pysicaly or mentaly wrong with me because of the way i feel constantly especialy in the mornings as soon as i get up the horrible feeling in my stomach feeling anxiouse feeling sick and having to go for a wee about 4 or 5 times with in half hour of waking up yet deep down i know these are just anxiety symtoms and i keep telling myself that's its just anxiety but my mind still wont register it, that's when i start to doubt that its anxiety and question why cant my mind just believe that it is and think there must be some thing else wrong that's keeping me feeling like this .

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's great, Tricia, they will have far more knowledge & experience than the IAPT people that you will have been seeing before. They can intergrate forms of therapy to give you what you need unlike the IAPT route which is very standard and for less complex cases.

They can't section you, Tricia, not on the basis of not taking meds. The law doesn't alllow that. If you look on MIND's website, they explain how sectioning works. The question is whether you are likely to harm yourself or others, unable to look after yourself so that it becomes detrimental (e.g. you stop eating), or are not in a fit state of mind, etc. MIND explain it all.

It is your right to refuse meds, you cannot be forced without sectioning and the law is firm on how they apply that. If in doubt, people like the CAB or probably those PALS people can put your mind at rest there.

Consciously you know it's anxiety like you say, so it's not a delusional problem. Some people won't even accept it as a possibility as they are in denial for ages. So, you are one step ahead of them.

The issue of accepting symptoms so that you can control them is a very difficult process. I couldn't do acceptance, it was ok on paper but toothless when trying to do it. There are other ways though if direct is not the way for you. I found Mindfulness better for me as it teaches acceptance, but not just that and if you make progress in one element, it will nudge the others along. I think this is why I find acceptance easier now, although it's something I still have work to do on, because I made my gains in other areas that opened the door for me.

When I went through CBT my therapist said that I decided how the day was going to be based on that first hour. So, unless I woke up with no symptoms, I would write if off as a bad day. I did. That just means you wish the day away until you can sleep again and suffer all day long. You think "I'll try again tomorrow as it might be ok then" but then you start off the same. This is the perfectionist issue I have and it works against you because you just lose more & more time over it.

I still wake up feeling crap most days but I've learnt that it waxes & wains throughout the bad days so just get up & get going and you will soon be feeling a bit better. Over time this gets easier & easier but at first it doesn't seem possible.

Don't worry about the meds right now. If you look at Bernie's thread on this board in the last few days you will see she has a therapist & CPN who are against use of meds. She's not the first I've seen say that about medical professionals and maybe it's because they have seen how the NHS reach for the pills and put people on a rollercoaster which for some makes them worse and they have to fight back to where they started.

A psychiatrist may recommend meds so just ask whether your new therapy route would be ok to try without and then decide on whether to add meds in when you are with them. That's another option.

For me, a doctor prescribing meds to someone so afraid to take them is a futile action. In these cases they need to help you take them or people just walk away and suffer.

[lindadiana]

I was told all panic attacks start with a bodily sensation or illness that frightens you,its how mine started,i also read that in the Claire weeks books too,she was studying when as a young girl she got her first bout of palpitations,she panicked,but in her but goes on to say tat there is a way to free yourself,she did,she said that she looks back on her life and was glad she didn't let the panic attacks rule her ,life,that her heart has served her well and it would have been a life wasted in other words.i started aged 5 years old and im now 57,i know how to control them,but putting it into action at the right time when im getting panicky is very hard,my daughter is 40 she was the same as me,but I told her not to let them ruin her life,she does very well she works full time has had three kids and leads a full life,unlike me housebound practically,so it really is lal about attitude and positive thinking,i keep trying,ive had sciatic pain now for 7 months and my panics are terrible more than they have ever been,i can hardly walk,it gets a bit better but then it comes on bad again its never really gone away at all im terrified ive got cancer of the spine or something nurse said its a bulging disc but im not convinced,constantly anxious and think I cant breath,has anyone else had sciatica om here