Phobia

[KW]

Hi all

I'm totally new to this. Well I've suffered with panic attacks since childhood, but i only get them in social gatherings.. when i have to speak in a group setting. I'm ok with family & friends but if it's work or strangers i have a full panic attack and can't even get any words out as i'm so out of breath. I have to attend weekly meetings at work and it's becoming unbearable. I'm trying to find ways of avoiding going to the meetings. I hate people looking and listening to me. Is it people i have a fear of? Just wish there was some way out.

KW

[HanzaGanza age11]

hi

all you have to do is dont look at the people, look at a wall and focus on a spot, also try and think nice things.


HanzaGanza:D

[seh1980]

hello there KW,

There are lots of people who feel comfortable with small groups of people but who don't deal very well with large groups of people, especailly when you don't know them very well. No going to the meetings will help you in the short term but it won't do you any good in the long run. It would be better to keep going to the meetings but try to figure out a way of making yourself feel more comfortable there. Have you tried using any calming essential oils or maybe natural remedies?

Sarah :D

[Karen]

Hi KW

Welcome to the site. I also get panic attacks when in social situations and when I have to talk to people unless I know them very well. It sounds like you are doing well with your job and going to the meetings although it is difficult.

I am sure you will find this site helpful.

Briary

[ed]

Hi KW,
Welcome to the site! Lots of us find social situations very difficult, especially as you say in large groups and when you feel you're the centre of attention. I've found it quite difficult since I was a child. These work meetings do sound quite tricky, you're not alone there!
But, I would say that avoiding this meetings isn't the right answer. It may seem easier in the short term but in the long run it will just make it get even harder. Do try techniques to make it easier. Breathing exercises are useful to calm yourself or as HanzaGanza says, take your attention away from the fact that you feel the centre of attention by disracting yourself;perhaps by focusing on a spot on the wall.
I'm sure you're not scared of people as such, as you can still feel comfortable around some people like family and friends.
Good luck, keep us informed of your progress,
ed

[Caz Fab Pants]

Hi KW,

Sounds like you've kept a lid on things and haven't let this problem get out of control which is great. The fact that you are still attending the meetings is very positive and even if it feels cr*p at the time dont give in.

Why not try taking a glass of cold water in with you if possible and maybe a note pad and pen so you can pretend to be making notes if you dont want to maintain eye contact. Also try positive affirmations and tell yourself that you're doing well, everything is fine, the meeting wont last long etc. Maybe rescue remedy would be helpful, you can buy it in most chemists off the shelf.

Good luck
Caroline :)
x

[Rennie1989]

KW

welcome to the site. my phobia scolionophobia (fear of school) is linked to my other fear social phobia.i hate been watched and seen when at school as i feel i will make a fool of myself.

i hope your coping well, you will get 100% support here

Scooter Girl

if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears

[sal]

Hi KW

Welcome to the site.

Can understand how you feel. I am quite an outgoing person but put me in a position like you mention and it all goes pear shaped.

I find it hard at work and this week as i am acting up i have to attend meetings and i am chewing myself up so much. All the what ifs possible are going through my head. I always find with myself that its the feeling of been trapped as in a meeting you cant just get up and walk out.



Love Sal xxxxx

[KW]

Hi Sal

Thank you for your reply. Well your words and others really helped me and i attended the meeting today & all went well, although i'm already dreading next week's! I take beta blockers to help the panic attacks but the psychological side of it still remains.

Yes i know how u feel about feeling trapped. I'm thinking of going to see someone on a regular basis about it, i've tried relaxation but it only came back. Do you have any kind of help?

I will be thinking of you this week with your meetings.


KW x


KW

[Meg]

Relaxation and CBT is a good combination .

Meg

[nomorepanic]

KW

I used to be the same about meetings!

I hated being shut in and the thought that I couldn't leave without making a scene.

My boss knew about this and used to leave the door open so I could leave if I wanted to and not feel so shut in.

I would take water - a bottle of it, not just a glass and some paper and pen so I could always pretend to be making notes and use it as a distraction.

I am fine in meetings now but I know that they are hard when you feel shut in and panicky and you don't want to make a scene by walking out.

Hope it gets better for you.

Nicola

[KW]

Hi Nicola

I take the minutes for these meetings so it's really difficult.. i just have a fear of people looking at me and listening to me. We have weekly team meetings and there are about 15 of us. I know everyone so well now but my fear still remains... we go around the room to update on our work and i work myself up so much when it gets to me i can hardly speak ..well i take beta blockers now so i am able to get words out but it's still mentally draining. i go bright red and just hate everyone looking at me (sometimes i think i'm gonna faint or say something stupid).. i wish this fear would go away.. already dreading this week's meeting :(

KW

[KW]

Hi all

Well I managed to get through another week's meeting. I felt really confident today and expressed myself well. I wish it could be like this all the time but at least it's a positive this week! :)

KW

[Karen]

Hi KW

Well done. You sound so positive today. Surviving the meeting and expressing yourself well is a great achievement. I understand how difficult it can be.

You are doing well.

Briary

[KW]

Hi Briary

Thank u. I'm going to make that appointment to this week to start having CBT, even though i'm full of confidence today i know it won't last so this still needs addressing. How are you today?

KW

[Karen]

Hi KW

I'm doing ok today thanks. I've been to see my hypnotherapist this afternoon.

It is good you are going to make an appointment for CBT. Seeing a therapist and finding this site have helped me so much.

Briary

[Meg]

KW -

**I wish it could be like this all the time but at least it's a positive this week! :)**

* confidence today i know it won't last *

See how you are ... setting yourself up for failure ..

How about changing these to

I've had a great meeting this week and intend to repeat it again next week and build on this success

and

I'm full of confidence today and will book and see a CBT to help me keep it this way .

Energy follows thought .



Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[KW]

Hi Meg

I know i think negatively, have done for the past 20 years. Have tried to break out of the pattern and get stonger but it's difficult. I am determined to go to the meetings i wont avoid them, not now, thanks to this site as i feel more encouraged to do better. Have been looking at counselling places tonight with my boyfriend (he's helping me alot) and we've been discussing which sound good etc, but i will phone tomorrow and make that appointment

KW