View Full Version : TERRIFIED to go to school.. Please help.
Hi,
I'm Male and I'm 14 years old, will be entering Year 10 in September.
Basically, since last July I haven't cut my hair at all so my hair is pretty long for a guy, I'd say shoulder length. At school, before the 6 week holidays begun, I used to get asked pretty much everyday "When are you getting a haircut?" and "You're starting to look like a girl, you really need it cut!". There was even a rumor that I was scared of scissors at one point!
To be honest, I'm not actually sure why I didn't cut it. I know it looks silly on me. The problem is though, I have to get it cut on Tuesday and when I do, I'm scared to go back to school in case the cut looks horrible or embarrassing. Most of the school knows that I have long hair and honestly, I'm quite famous (not in a good way) because of it. My worry is that when I go back, I'll have to walk through corridors on show to everyone with my new haircut and the shorter haircut I'm planning to get is a huge contrast from my old, long hair. And then I have to walk into a huge courtyard where my whole year will be lining up for lessons with a new haircut that'll look incredibly different to the cut that I have now. So I'm scared people will take the mick ugh. I can't describe my fears properly, I can't even describe them to myself.
I think I'm basically scared I'll look stupid.
I'm not cutting my hair because of the teasing, it's because I want it cut too. I want to please everyone as well as myself, but not be laughed at at the same time. Stupidly I never learnt from my mistakes and I did this last year, people were teasing when I came back to school that I had a "lesbian haircut" because it was in the stereotypical lesbian style. So I've had bad experiences too.
PICTURE OF ME NOW: http://i.imgur.com/z3I2BHl.png
PICTURE OF ME WITH SHORTER HAIR, THE STYLE I'M PLANNING TO GET: http://i.imgur.com/skeVDqn.png
I asked my friend and he suggested that style (link above) saying it would look better than my longer hair, but I'm not convinced.
What's your opinion?
Do you think people will be like "Thank god you've had your hair cut!" or "Hhahahhaha that looks silly!". Do you think people are really bothered, or am I being stupid again?
I feel so nervous right now, I just want to look normal in a crowd and not like some kind of yeti!
How do you think people will react??
Also, I'm scared the barber/hairdresser won't get it right like I want it!
Thanks,
Toby
PS. I'm not BULLIED at school, just teased a bit because of my hair. I have friends, let's just say that.
PSS. Don't be cruel with replies please :(
PSSS. What do I do about this nervous feeling
---------- Post added 31-08-15 at 01:24 ---------- Previous post was 30-08-15 at 23:11 ----------
Could someone reply?
Hey Toby,
Well, firstly, let me assure you that you are not alone in worrying about your appearance when it comes to going to school... Everybody - and i mean EVERYBODY - in your school will most likely be feeling the same way... Even those people who are the 'cool kids' will be wanting to make sure everyone likes how they look. It is one of those unfortunate pressures that comes with being a teenager - it was the same 10 or so years ago when I was still at school :)
It is easier said than done but as long as you are happy with it, then so what if other people don't like it? Your real friends will be the ones who like you no matter what haircut you have. Also, if you go for the haircut and really hate it, you can always go to have it changed again afterwards.. I know that isn't an ideal solution, but its definitely a backup option to have :) I would personally say your hair is really cool as it is right now - i don't think you need to change it. Give it a year or two and all the girls will be digging the rock-star hair you currently have... Trust me on that one!
Plus, you would be surprised - I bet nobody will even really notice, and those that do will make positive comments about it. I can remember going back to school after summer holidays when I was about 15 or 16 and I changed my hair pretty dramatically from a very sensible style, to a kinda messy and crazy one, and was so paranoid about it for days beforehand... When I eventually went into school barely anybody even noticed or commented on it, and those that did only had nice things to say... After just an hour or two of being back, my fears had entirely evaporated!
Best of luck - hope it all goes ok and you feel better about the whole situation :)
Hi Toby
I understand how you feel, at your age most people do. I haven't got a lot of time to write but I just wanted to say I LOVE your long hair, I always loved (still do) boys with longer hair and so did most of my friends. So you go for whatever you like yourself...there will always be people who like it and people who don't, but that will be the same with everything. Just be yourself, that will always be good for you x
Whatever happened to the assessment from the school nurse last Spring before the school year ended and the counseling that was supposed to come from it? Have your parents followed up for you?
Positive thoughts
Hey Toby,
Well, firstly, let me assure you that you are not alone in worrying about your appearance when it comes to going to school... Everybody - and i mean EVERYBODY - in your school will most likely be feeling the same way... Even those people who are the 'cool kids' will be wanting to make sure everyone likes how they look. It is one of those unfortunate pressures that comes with being a teenager - it was the same 10 or so years ago when I was still at school :)
It is easier said than done but as long as you are happy with it, then so what if other people don't like it? Your real friends will be the ones who like you no matter what haircut you have. Also, if you go for the haircut and really hate it, you can always go to have it changed again afterwards.. I know that isn't an ideal solution, but its definitely a backup option to have :) I would personally say your hair is really cool as it is right now - i don't think you need to change it. Give it a year or two and all the girls will be digging the rock-star hair you currently have... Trust me on that one!
Plus, you would be surprised - I bet nobody will even really notice, and those that do will make positive comments about it. I can remember going back to school after summer holidays when I was about 15 or 16 and I changed my hair pretty dramatically from a very sensible style, to a kinda messy and crazy one, and was so paranoid about it for days beforehand... When I eventually went into school barely anybody even noticed or commented on it, and those that did only had nice things to say... After just an hour or two of being back, my fears had entirely evaporated!
Best of luck - hope it all goes ok and you feel better about the whole situation :)
Thanks :) I think I am definitely going to get it cut, but because I've had this length hair for such a long time it'll be weird walking through the corridors on show with this new hair, it'll feel like everyone's staring at me?
---------- Post added at 14:31 ---------- Previous post was at 14:31 ----------
Hi Toby
I understand how you feel, at your age most people do. I haven't got a lot of time to write but I just wanted to say I LOVE your long hair, I always loved (still do) boys with longer hair and so did most of my friends. So you go for whatever you like yourself...there will always be people who like it and people who don't, but that will be the same with everything. Just be yourself, that will always be good for you x
Thankyou :)
---------- Post added at 14:32 ---------- Previous post was at 14:31 ----------
Whatever happened to the assessment from the school nurse last Spring before the school year ended and the counseling that was supposed to come from it? Have your parents followed up for you?
Positive thoughts
Yep I filled a form in just before the end of term. No idea what's happening now
Hi Toby,
I went through this feeling when I went from really long hair to short and you know what hardly anyone said anything and what they did say was positive. Also I'm female so it was more extreme for me. I don't think the cut looks that drastic at all. You'll be fine and after a day you will be wondering why you spent so much time worrying.
Why don't you get the length cut off gradually ?
Just get a couple of inches off at first. It'll hardly register with people with it only being a bit shorter, it's insignificant. "I've just had it tidied up, get a life."
Then next month get it a bit shorter again etc. With it happening gradually people will no longer be used to you at one extreme or another so any changes are likely to be noticed less.
I know what you mean about not wanting to draw attention to yourself. That might be a way to do it without people noticing too much.
HardkorexGlamour_87
01-09-15, 09:08
Hi Toby,
When I was around the age of 16 I decided it might be a good idea to let my dad cut my hair (Big Mistake!!) he cut it that short it was level with my ears lol
Don't be scared to get your hair cut if it's what YOU want then go for it. these people who tease you are so preoccupied with their own self image that they tease you to mask it.
I had a look at the photo's you provided and I agree you will be fine :D once you've had it cut and are complimented on your new cut you will be relieved and wonder why you were worrying so much.
I wish you luck :)
MargaretHale
01-09-15, 11:58
Toby mate, I'm 42 and still worried what people think. I wish I could learn not to!
I was teased a bit at school, I wore vintage clothing before it was popular and read a lot of books. I met a girl I haven't seen for ages (like 20 years) and she said 'god, we were all in awe of you...you were so cool' hahaha
Do what you want, get it cut gradually perhaps? I think the long looks nice but it's your choice. Good luck
M x
toby your hair isnt even that long and it looks well cool anyhow.Ignore the haters they are just jealous
Hi Toby,
I went through this feeling when I went from really long hair to short and you know what hardly anyone said anything and what they did say was positive. Also I'm female so it was more extreme for me. I don't think the cut looks that drastic at all. You'll be fine and after a day you will be wondering why you spent so much time worrying.
Thanks, it's just really hard not to worry since people have been so used to seeing me with longer hair. You're probs right though I am worrying about nothing.
---------- Post added at 13:16 ---------- Previous post was at 13:15 ----------
Why don't you get the length cut off gradually ?
Just get a couple of inches off at first. It'll hardly register with people with it only being a bit shorter, it's insignificant. "I've just had it tidied up, get a life."
Then next month get it a bit shorter again etc. With it happening gradually people will no longer be used to you at one extreme or another so any changes are likely to be noticed less.
I know what you mean about not wanting to draw attention to yourself. That might be a way to do it without people noticing too much.
Thankyou for the reply :) Yeah I get you, but I think because I've promised people I'll get it cut then I'll be made fun of more. Which I can't do much about :/
---------- Post added at 13:18 ---------- Previous post was at 13:16 ----------
Hi Toby,
When I was around the age of 16 I decided it might be a good idea to let my dad cut my hair (Big Mistake!!) he cut it that short it was level with my ears lol
Don't be scared to get your hair cut if it's what YOU want then go for it. these people who tease you are so preoccupied with their own self image that they tease you to mask it.
I had a look at the photo's you provided and I agree you will be fine :D once you've had it cut and are complimented on your new cut you will be relieved and wonder why you were worrying so much.
I wish you luck :)
Thank you, you're probably right :) My sister says I look like a 5 y.o. with that hair so that's dragged me down a bit, I don't want to go for anything like with shaved sides etc. that'll dig me a deeper hole I think.
---------- Post added at 13:19 ---------- Previous post was at 13:18 ----------
Toby mate, I'm 42 and still worried what people think. I wish I could learn not to!
I was teased a bit at school, I wore vintage clothing before it was popular and read a lot of books. I met a girl I haven't seen for ages (like 20 years) and she said 'god, we were all in awe of you...you were so cool' hahaha
Do what you want, get it cut gradually perhaps? I think the long looks nice but it's your choice. Good luck
M x
Thank you! It always seems to be the adults who think the long looks better. I think it does look a bit weird when I'm in a crowd of people with modern, cutting edge styles if you know what i mean. I think I might just get it all of :)
---------- Post added at 13:20 ---------- Previous post was at 13:19 ----------
toby your hair isnt even that long and it looks well cool anyhow.Ignore the haters they are just jealous
Thanks :) It is a bit long and a bit, you know, feminine and if I leave it any longer I'll be sitting on it haha!
MargaretHale
02-09-15, 23:33
Let us know how you get on mate!
:)
Hi Toby,
Just wanted to say that you should go with whatever haircut you feel comfortable with. If you feel comfortable and good about yourself then that will show on the outside which is the most important thing!
As long as the cut suits you and makes you happy, then that's all that matters, end of. :)
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