Need to calm down but can't...

[Justanutter]

Was so fed up with ongoing chest pain and everybody telling me it is just anxiety so took myself off to a&e the other morning....had ECG and good going over by two trainee Drs and then a Dr....ECG completely clear...wasn't concerned about pUn..said it wasn't cardiac pain or angina pain, even though I said I get it when walking. Said it was anxiety. Came away unconvinced but have tried so hard since then to carry on as normal but I know I am in a very anxious state as I know that an ECG wouldn't show up blocked arteries etc. I tried to garden yesterday but just brushing gave me palps and a hot sweat...was feeling ill with it last night. Just been to local shop and lifted basket up to till and felt bad and then hot....so convinced it is my heart and I am going to drop dead. Doesn't help that my mum's friend has just done that and she had tests and was given the all clear and my friend was told she'd had a mild heart attack and was treated for one and now after waiting 10 weeks for MRI results, has been told it wasn't a heart attack after all, it was myocarditis and she hadn't obviously been having the right treatment....and my family wonder why I am paranoid. I can't cope with this fear anymore.

[Fishmanpa]

The question is what can anyone say or do outside of getting professional help to help you? Medical professionals and scientific medical tests that detect heart problems in millions of others as well people who have/had real heart problems tell you otherwise but you remained unconvinced. Reassurance obviously isn't helping at all (it never does).

Perhaps the thing to do is work on the what is the real problem.

Positive thoughts

[Justanutter]

Because I keep reading that an ECG isn't enough to pick up anything other than heart attacks or previous heart attacks or rhythm problems. How can just brushing up and gardening leave me feeling so bad as if I didn't sit down I would collapse??! Had to keep having sugary tea to keep going. I see old people doing far more strenuous stuff than me and it gets me down. I feel worse after exercising so it puts me off. I am trying so hard...cbt, books, deep breathing etc. I am not just doing nothing. I am also dragging myself into work even though I am in an anxious state until at least 2pm each day and keep a smile on my face. I am not on anti depressants now so I think that is the cause of the worsened anxiety. I don't get any support at home so cope as best I can on my own and it's very very hard. I have a very stressful home life and an elderly mum to cope with when I am not at work. I am trying believe it or not...I am just very fearful of life and everything and want to be better and normal again.

[Fishmanpa]

You just stated the reason you feel the way you do. Stress and anxiety! The stressed physiology is like your body constantly being on alert. I've often used the analogy of a campfire. When you're really stressed, the fire is raging, using all your energy. Even when things seem to have calmed down, there are still burning embers. Any little bit of additional stress gets them flaming hot again. It's like you're never really relaxed or calm even if you feel you are.

Perhaps a discussion about meds would be in order to help you better cope with the day to day stressors in your life.

Positive thoughts

[Justanutter]

Thanks for for at least replying even though you must feel like saying all sorts of other stuff not suitable on here for us HA nightmares.

[sial72]

???

[Justanutter]

Syal, just referring to how frustrated I know fmp gets with us whingers who don't appear to take advice on board when it is given...no offence meant.

[ricardo]

Was so fed up with ongoing chest pain and everybody telling me it is just anxiety so took myself off to a&e the other morning....had ECG and good going over by two trainee Drs and then a Dr....ECG completely clear...wasn't concerned about pUn..said it wasn't cardiac pain or angina pain, even though I said I get it when walking. Said it was anxiety. Came away unconvinced but have tried so hard since then to carry on as normal but I know I am in a very anxious state as I know that an ECG wouldn't show up blocked arteries etc. I tried to garden yesterday but just brushing gave me palps and a hot sweat...was feeling ill with it last night. Just been to local shop and lifted basket up to till and felt bad and then hot....so convinced it is my heart and I am going to drop dead. Doesn't help that my mum's friend has just done that and she had tests and was given the all clear and my friend was told she'd had a mild heart attack and was treated for one and now after waiting 10 weeks for MRI results, has been told it wasn't a heart attack after all, it was myocarditis and she hadn't obviously been having the right treatment....and my family wonder why I am paranoid. I can't cope with this fear anymore.

That is completely wrong assumption and I am proof of it.An ECG would show that a heart attack was occuring or had occuured often through blocked arteries, and the appropriate action would be taken.

---------- Post added at 14:22 ---------- Previous post was at 14:15 ----------


Syal, just referring to how frustrated I know fmp gets with us whingers who don't appear to take advice on board when it is given...no offence meant.


Fishmanpa as you know has had two heart attacks and cancer and I am not sure about anxiety but I bet at some time deep depression.

I had a heart attack recently and have GAD and it has scared the shite out of me, and I also have other family illnesses.

Fishmanpa is very direct and often blunt but always means well, otherwise he wouldn't bother replying or trying to guide others in the right direction.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but the intention is there that at the end of the day a lot of recovery for people on here, is up to themselves. If they chose to ignore that, then they may get stuck in a rut. That is not always the case but I would say it applies to a high percentage of people who just come on here looking for reassurance.

[pulisa]

I'll second that, Ricardo

[Justanutter]

Thanks Ricardo and Pulisa. I just can't get a grip on the fact that this could all just be anxiety and I guess that's what HA is all about. We can't get the proof we need so just need to plod on with the self-help and meds if needed. I will make a GP appointment as the hospital said it might be a good idea as they would be sending a letter to them and to see if they suggest any further tests are needed. I know my GP is very thorough and she would more than likely not just stop at an ECG if I say I have had chest pain on walking.

I had a good talk to myself last night, determined to start to work on this 100% (admittedly, don't really know how but am going to try my hardest) and then have just been sat at my desk working and had an awful strong weird dizzy-type do in my head that felt like I was going to black out - lasted quite a few seconds - tried not to panic and alert my colleagues but really thought that was it, going to conk out and now am panicking about that and what it could be? This is why I can't get a grip on it. Another symptom to worry about and wondered if this is what happens just before people just drop down and it's too late to save them. I know I'm probably being stupid but I am so frightened now...again.

[Traceypo]

The only advice I can give, is you're not alone. I too fear heart problems and have felt this way for 6 years, it impacts on everything I do, I have become so scared of dying that I forget how to live, some days are better than others, some months are better than others, but anything can trigger it. Sometimes I don't even need to be actively worrying when anxiety takes it grip. I too feel lightheaded at times, as if I'm going to black out (I never do), I shake, sweat, feel palpitations, one thing I refer back to though is one night when I felt like that, a paramedic came as I'd called NHS direct, he done ecg, temp and all stats, all came back normal. This reinforced the psychology of anxiety to me, and even when I felt all of those things, my body was telling a very different story.
Persevere with your cbt, there is no overnight cure or relief, for many it's trial and error for treatment they respond too. Nobody is ever anxiety free, they just manage and cope better than those with anxiety issues. What ifs are never helpful, deal with the here and now. Good luck x

[Justanutter]

Thanks Traceypoo - it's so depressing to think that part of you will probably always be this way. I have had some good years in between but I get worse the older I get for some reason. I know I am just wasting my life and that makes me feel really guilty when I think of all the poor people who are suffering with cancer etc. It's such a lonely illness which doesn't help. My Mum was like this when I was younger and she suddenly got better in later years and now nothing really phases her and she doesn't have good health so I live in hope that one day I will get some blessed relief from this! x