Am I underachieving?

[GirlAfraid23]

I have a university degree and a decent amount of school education behind me. But I am quite happy working as a specialist support in visual impairment in a primary school. I work one to one with a child.
I don't really have to take my work home with me, I can relax during the holidays and there isn't a great amount of pressure.
Everyone keeps asking me why I don't train to be a teacher, my good friend has recently signed up to do a teaching course since university. She was also a support assistant in a school but didn't think the money was good enough. Obviously I would prefer more money but the idea of more responsibility is daunting and makes me feel uneasy.

I feel inferior compared to my friends. All of them are high achievers of a sort; one is a deputy manager in a bank, one is a deputy ward manager in a hospital and one is an events manager in London. All of them are in charge of people and have to set up timetables, let people go if they're not working correctly, reprimand people and if the other people need holidays they will come to my friends. It makes me feel inferior that I'm the underdog at work but I do have a degree and probably could do it. I feel as though I'm under achieving. I think it's probably my anxiety holding me back. I did apply for a teaching college - a very difficult one to get into and one of the top rated in my region of the country. Surprisingly I got in, but my anxieties made me email them and say I couldn't start it, I had built it up in my head too much...I know teaching is very difficult as a career and extremely stressful, especially under this current government. But I feel like my friends and family must think I'm underachieving. Even though I only want simple things in life like starting a family and having free time to spend with them and my partner.

[Penny19]

Hi, I know how you feel...... But why put pressure on yourself...... You seem to be an intelligent girl with a rewarding job...... We would all like more money, would you like to go into teaching? Is anxiety holding you back? Only do things that you want to do, don't feel like you have to do things cos your friends are doing it..... My job is quite stressful, but as soon as I walk out of work, I leave it there.... If your happy doing your job and have a good work/life balance, then keep doing it. I feel like it's your self esteem here which I can relate to. Some of my friends are top solicitors, doctors, teachers etc..... On a lot more than me, but some people are so career driven, whereas I work hard whilst I'm there but appreciate my life outside of work more. Sorry if not much help, but I feel the same sometimes

[Oosh]

Anxieties can tell you things about how you feel. Don't always dismiss them as irrational.

What if you don't achieve anything more ? Do you think the you in ten or twenty years will care ?

Work out if it does actually bother you. The idea of underachievement has occurred enough to you to start this thread so there may be a possibility some part of you actually does care and may be unhappy in the future if you remain, what you would see as, an under achiever.

The you of today MIGHT lean more towards a quiet life, hiding away in safety, avoiding your anxieties but will the you in twenty years be content with that. Maybe the truth is you do want a simple life, children, a family and career and status comes quite low on your list of priorities.

I say have a good listen to how YOU feel and what it says you want. It might be easy to dismiss now but later in life you might realise how important these little thoughts were to you.

Don't only picture what the you of today wants, picture what the you in the future might want.

A life of safety may feel different in the decades to come.

[23tana]

What you are doing is a valuable job that helps a child achieve their best at the same time as giving you the lifestyle you want. As Oosh says, if you think you'll be satisfied with that in years to come, then why put pressure on yourself to do something that you feel will trigger anxieties. How do you know your friends are truly happy with the pressures of their jobs and how will they make space to have their own families?

[Dan1975]

I have a university degree and a decent amount of school education behind me. But I am quite happy working as a specialist support in visual impairment in a primary school. I work one to one with a child.
I don't really have to take my work home with me, I can relax during the holidays and there isn't a great amount of pressure.
Everyone keeps asking me why I don't train to be a teacher, my good friend has recently signed up to do a teaching course since university. She was also a support assistant in a school but didn't think the money was good enough. Obviously I would prefer more money but the idea of more responsibility is daunting and makes me feel uneasy.

I feel inferior compared to my friends. All of them are high achievers of a sort; one is a deputy manager in a bank, one is a deputy ward manager in a hospital and one is an events manager in London. All of them are in charge of people and have to set up timetables, let people go if they're not working correctly, reprimand people and if the other people need holidays they will come to my friends. It makes me feel inferior that I'm the underdog at work but I do have a degree and probably could do it. I feel as though I'm under achieving. I think it's probably my anxiety holding me back. I did apply for a teaching college - a very difficult one to get into and one of the top rated in my region of the country. Surprisingly I got in, but my anxieties made me email them and say I couldn't start it, I had built it up in my head too much...I know teaching is very difficult as a career and extremely stressful, especially under this current government. But I feel like my friends and family must think I'm underachieving. Even though I only want simple things in life like starting a family and having free time to spend with them and my partner.

Hi,

If you are asking yourself the question then you probably are under achieving. It's a dog eat dog world out there, so don't let anxiety hold you back. Get out there and do it. What's the worst that can happen? In all likelihood you will feel really uncomfortable for a while and then find your feet and wonder what all the fuss was about.

I'm not blowing my trumpet or anything, but I've been a gad sufferer for years and have held down a senior managers role in London City for years. It has been so good for me. It's pushed me to achieve things I never would have done otherwise.

Just go for it!

Dan

[PunkyFish]

I sort of know how you feel. I have a degree from a few years ago and good grades from my A Levels and GCSE's and after graduating I managed to end up in an admin job. Unfortunaly I hate the job and find the prospect of working in this role for the next few years soul destorying!

Anxiety can hold somebody back from doing what they actually want to do with their life. I know it has with me. I've wanted to train in a certain career which would mean another two years of studying on top of the studying I've already done and in the past few years my anxiety has made me come up with every excuse in the book for me not to do it such as I won't be able to cope, what happens if I can't get a job and so forth. To be honest at this current time I feel like I'm going know where as I've always wanted to have the big sucessful career. My friends are all in very successful jobs such as lawyers, teachers, managers or are in training to be eventually sucessful so I know how it feels to be the underdog. I've spend the last few years envying other peoples lives and jobs and I've been too scared because of my anxiety to change my own!

My advice is if you're happy now and you're not to bothered or you're a bit unsure about training to be a teacher then maybe wait a year or so and then decide. You can always train to be teacher later on in life. Don't let other people's job statuses impact on what you want to do and don't let anxiety put you off either. Colleges and Universities have very good support systems in place for students especially those with anxiety. Life isn't about people's job's status it's about doing a job that you enjoy and being happy in your life! :)

[Pepperpot]

Are you truly happy with your job, or are you just trying to convince yourself that you are? If you are truly happy, then sod what anyone else thinks and go forward to have a family. You can always go to college/uni later in life and get more qualifications x