Wheelsinmotion
01-09-15, 18:47
Hello all,
Where to even begin?
I'm 27 years old and I'm currently about 3 and a half months into a relationship. We've been talking for almost a year and aside from a couple of bumps in the road which have always been resolved quickly, we've been extremely happy. We are the same age, only live one hour away from each other and even share the same rare congenital disability (we are both wheelchair users).
Our relationship has always been very intense. Full of romance, affection, and although early days, have openly talked about our hopes and dreams for the future, and this has always filled me with such happiness and joy. I felt so sure that this was the right thing for me and that all my dreams would come true with this girl and that I truly loved her. I've even taken back up wheelchair basketball after a few years away from the sport, and moved to a team that's only a few miles away from her so I could see her more often.
There are some issues right now with seeing each other on a regular basis, unfortunately. Her Mum is not onboard with the relationship right now as she worries about her, as she is only about 1 and a half years removed from a long-term relationship where she moved up to Newcastle and it didn't work out and caused issues. While she hasn't stopped us from seeing each other as we're both adults, she does worry about her daughter which is understandable, it's frustrating as it's severely limited the amount of times we get to see each other, and we've had to meet secretly on a few occasions. Despite my disability, I am able to drive.
However today I've felt sudden confusion over our relationship. We've had a couple of light arguments recently and I felt at times a little neglected, but it wasn't a big deal and while we did argue, we resolved it, and I honestly felt like I was slightly in the wrong on this occasion, but she made extra effort to be loving and affectionate and it felt great. But for absolutely no reason, I couldn't get to sleep last night, and I've been feeling extremely anxious and confused about my feelings towards her and the relationship despite being so sure of everything even as close as a couple of days ago. I'm petrified as I've never felt this kind of anxiety before, and it's come on VERY suddenly. While there have been frustrations at times, I never questioned my feelings for her, and felt extremely happy and positive about the future going forward, perhaps a little too much by wanting too much, too soon, but it hadn't caused friction as we've generally been on the same page for everything.
I can't switch my mind off, and all loving emotions I had towards her I just can't seem to ignite again, and I feel absolutely lost and confused, despite the fact I felt so sure and so in love with her just a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, communication isn't always easy with her, and please do not take this as me being nasty towards her as that's not my intention at all, but she's an extremely sensitive person and conveying how I feel right now would just be a complete disaster and would cause extreme upset.
She's aware something hasn't been right for a couple of days and it has caused her worry and stress which makes me feel like an absolutely horrible person, and for now I've had to assure her that everything is alright and that I'm just extremely tired and feeling very ill. While this is partly true, I don't want to tell her exactly how I feel incase I feel differently in the next day or two. We've spoken at length today and had some very up and down conversations, going from arguing to talking happily and positively, back to her worrying and stressing. Even now while she's let me go to get some rest, she's messaging me a lot on whatsapp with very mixed messages and is extremely worried about our relationship right now. She made me an very sweet video this morning which made me extremely emotional and absolutely wracked with guilt for suddenly doubting my feelings for her.
I can't switch my mind off and go to sleep at all and my negative, anxious and confused feelings haven't disappeared at all. We normally spend hours and hours talking, and the thought of talking to her again tonight and trying to pretend everything is ok just fills me with more and more guilt and worry. I'm scared of being alone and losing everything that we've built so far, and I'm scared as to why I suddenly feel completely devoid of love towards her and confusion as to whether I want to be with her or not. I'm not exaggerating when I say literally 2 days ago I felt so much love and happiness for her and our relationship.
I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. We are meant to be seeing each other on Sunday and while I don't want to end things with her when I've only been feeling like this for such a short time, the thought of trying to get to Sunday while feeling like this fills me with dread.
I am extremely tired, my heart is constantly racing, I can't sleep at all and I cant eat properly. I don't understand why I feel this way so suddenly and without warning, and I just want my old feelings to come back for her because I felt true, genuine happiness beforehand. :( Please help. :(
I have suffered anxiety and stress before when I was younger, but these current feelings are pretty alien to me. :(
Where to even begin?
I'm 27 years old and I'm currently about 3 and a half months into a relationship. We've been talking for almost a year and aside from a couple of bumps in the road which have always been resolved quickly, we've been extremely happy. We are the same age, only live one hour away from each other and even share the same rare congenital disability (we are both wheelchair users).
Our relationship has always been very intense. Full of romance, affection, and although early days, have openly talked about our hopes and dreams for the future, and this has always filled me with such happiness and joy. I felt so sure that this was the right thing for me and that all my dreams would come true with this girl and that I truly loved her. I've even taken back up wheelchair basketball after a few years away from the sport, and moved to a team that's only a few miles away from her so I could see her more often.
There are some issues right now with seeing each other on a regular basis, unfortunately. Her Mum is not onboard with the relationship right now as she worries about her, as she is only about 1 and a half years removed from a long-term relationship where she moved up to Newcastle and it didn't work out and caused issues. While she hasn't stopped us from seeing each other as we're both adults, she does worry about her daughter which is understandable, it's frustrating as it's severely limited the amount of times we get to see each other, and we've had to meet secretly on a few occasions. Despite my disability, I am able to drive.
However today I've felt sudden confusion over our relationship. We've had a couple of light arguments recently and I felt at times a little neglected, but it wasn't a big deal and while we did argue, we resolved it, and I honestly felt like I was slightly in the wrong on this occasion, but she made extra effort to be loving and affectionate and it felt great. But for absolutely no reason, I couldn't get to sleep last night, and I've been feeling extremely anxious and confused about my feelings towards her and the relationship despite being so sure of everything even as close as a couple of days ago. I'm petrified as I've never felt this kind of anxiety before, and it's come on VERY suddenly. While there have been frustrations at times, I never questioned my feelings for her, and felt extremely happy and positive about the future going forward, perhaps a little too much by wanting too much, too soon, but it hadn't caused friction as we've generally been on the same page for everything.
I can't switch my mind off, and all loving emotions I had towards her I just can't seem to ignite again, and I feel absolutely lost and confused, despite the fact I felt so sure and so in love with her just a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, communication isn't always easy with her, and please do not take this as me being nasty towards her as that's not my intention at all, but she's an extremely sensitive person and conveying how I feel right now would just be a complete disaster and would cause extreme upset.
She's aware something hasn't been right for a couple of days and it has caused her worry and stress which makes me feel like an absolutely horrible person, and for now I've had to assure her that everything is alright and that I'm just extremely tired and feeling very ill. While this is partly true, I don't want to tell her exactly how I feel incase I feel differently in the next day or two. We've spoken at length today and had some very up and down conversations, going from arguing to talking happily and positively, back to her worrying and stressing. Even now while she's let me go to get some rest, she's messaging me a lot on whatsapp with very mixed messages and is extremely worried about our relationship right now. She made me an very sweet video this morning which made me extremely emotional and absolutely wracked with guilt for suddenly doubting my feelings for her.
I can't switch my mind off and go to sleep at all and my negative, anxious and confused feelings haven't disappeared at all. We normally spend hours and hours talking, and the thought of talking to her again tonight and trying to pretend everything is ok just fills me with more and more guilt and worry. I'm scared of being alone and losing everything that we've built so far, and I'm scared as to why I suddenly feel completely devoid of love towards her and confusion as to whether I want to be with her or not. I'm not exaggerating when I say literally 2 days ago I felt so much love and happiness for her and our relationship.
I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. We are meant to be seeing each other on Sunday and while I don't want to end things with her when I've only been feeling like this for such a short time, the thought of trying to get to Sunday while feeling like this fills me with dread.
I am extremely tired, my heart is constantly racing, I can't sleep at all and I cant eat properly. I don't understand why I feel this way so suddenly and without warning, and I just want my old feelings to come back for her because I felt true, genuine happiness beforehand. :( Please help. :(
I have suffered anxiety and stress before when I was younger, but these current feelings are pretty alien to me. :(