Spikie
02-09-15, 09:02
Hi all
It's funny how your life going well can sometimes be more stressful than when it is going badly...
I've had recent success at work and with exams, meaning I am getting shunted along on some sort of fast track thing whereby I'm taking part of a manager's role and the implication is this is just their knee jerk 'we want to make you more important' reaction, the real promotion is coming later in the year.
I am more than happy to take on new work, get more money and especially to make my manager's life easier. I'm always happy to learn new things and want to better myself.
However as I'm sure most of you can appreciate, this has led to an absolute mountain of stress and unhelpful thinking, along the lines of 'I can do my job, what if I can't do the new one?' and 'The more they get me to do, the more likely I am to mess up and the bigger the effect when I do'.
I also don't want to damage my boss by making mistakes and causing her more work/to look bad given she is supporting me with the higher ups.
I feel I'm going to let everyone down even at the moment, how will I be when they actually promote me later?
I almost feel like (in my early 30's) I want to just say 'That's it, I'm fine where I am, so what if I should be on the fast track to great things, it's not worth the stress'. But I'd then live my life with everyone around me moving on and me staying still, plus I'd be harming the household by crippling my earning potential.
I'm in the mindset that I'm a sergeant now and they are trying to make me a h'officer, and it's just not me.
But then why did I do all those exams (I'm better qualified on paper than anyone else here, from the bottom to the top). I know the answer, because I wanted to show the people who think I'm dozy and useless that I could pass exams with 40% pass rates first time.
I suspect this is the normal reaction to promotions for people like us, but it is... upsetting I suppose.
It's funny how your life going well can sometimes be more stressful than when it is going badly...
I've had recent success at work and with exams, meaning I am getting shunted along on some sort of fast track thing whereby I'm taking part of a manager's role and the implication is this is just their knee jerk 'we want to make you more important' reaction, the real promotion is coming later in the year.
I am more than happy to take on new work, get more money and especially to make my manager's life easier. I'm always happy to learn new things and want to better myself.
However as I'm sure most of you can appreciate, this has led to an absolute mountain of stress and unhelpful thinking, along the lines of 'I can do my job, what if I can't do the new one?' and 'The more they get me to do, the more likely I am to mess up and the bigger the effect when I do'.
I also don't want to damage my boss by making mistakes and causing her more work/to look bad given she is supporting me with the higher ups.
I feel I'm going to let everyone down even at the moment, how will I be when they actually promote me later?
I almost feel like (in my early 30's) I want to just say 'That's it, I'm fine where I am, so what if I should be on the fast track to great things, it's not worth the stress'. But I'd then live my life with everyone around me moving on and me staying still, plus I'd be harming the household by crippling my earning potential.
I'm in the mindset that I'm a sergeant now and they are trying to make me a h'officer, and it's just not me.
But then why did I do all those exams (I'm better qualified on paper than anyone else here, from the bottom to the top). I know the answer, because I wanted to show the people who think I'm dozy and useless that I could pass exams with 40% pass rates first time.
I suspect this is the normal reaction to promotions for people like us, but it is... upsetting I suppose.