feathersnowglitter
03-09-15, 09:44
Hi, my name is Stacey and I have joined this forum in the hope of some support with my anxiety disorder.
I got married at 19, to my first husband who gradually started to drink more and more (he always had been a drinker) to the point where he was an alcoholic. He was mentally abusive to me. We had a child in 2001 and to cut a long story short, I ended things in the summer of 2006. He threatened suicide several times in the month that followed after the police took out a restraining order for me to keep him away from the house after he became threatening. He said he would end his life if I didnt take him back. I refused to be emotionally blackmailed and so he did take his life, exactly 9 years ago today. He hung himself, 4 days before our 4 year old daughter started school for the first time. I got through that, and found a new relationship with a completely opposite person. My husband Phil. In 2007 I had a gallbladder operation which went wrong. I was left with internal bleeding at the op which ended up with an emergency second op and me waking up in intensive care after having my lungs flooded. I nearly died. In 2008 I found out I was pregnant, bought a house with Phil, had our little girl in the November, and went from one child, to four (he had two boys). It was stressful and very hard mentally on me. In 2009, we discovered my dad had terminal cancer. I had a breakdown early in 2010. It was just too much and I couldnt function for two weeks. I had friends helping me with my daughter who was a toddler at the time. My husband had to leave work as I was so unable to function. In June 2010 we (16 immediate family members) all went to Spain with mum and dad. He was in a wheelchair by this point, having had chemo, but wanted us all to have a big family holiday. We expected to have him for at least another couple of years. He died 18 days after we got home from a blood infection. My heart was broken. I have slowly slowly since then, been a long path of recovery. The depression is under control and I can function. But the anxiety will always be there is making things tough for me.
Today I start a new very part time job, only an hour and 25 minutes a day five days a week but its causing me panic. Hence joining this forum. xxx
I got married at 19, to my first husband who gradually started to drink more and more (he always had been a drinker) to the point where he was an alcoholic. He was mentally abusive to me. We had a child in 2001 and to cut a long story short, I ended things in the summer of 2006. He threatened suicide several times in the month that followed after the police took out a restraining order for me to keep him away from the house after he became threatening. He said he would end his life if I didnt take him back. I refused to be emotionally blackmailed and so he did take his life, exactly 9 years ago today. He hung himself, 4 days before our 4 year old daughter started school for the first time. I got through that, and found a new relationship with a completely opposite person. My husband Phil. In 2007 I had a gallbladder operation which went wrong. I was left with internal bleeding at the op which ended up with an emergency second op and me waking up in intensive care after having my lungs flooded. I nearly died. In 2008 I found out I was pregnant, bought a house with Phil, had our little girl in the November, and went from one child, to four (he had two boys). It was stressful and very hard mentally on me. In 2009, we discovered my dad had terminal cancer. I had a breakdown early in 2010. It was just too much and I couldnt function for two weeks. I had friends helping me with my daughter who was a toddler at the time. My husband had to leave work as I was so unable to function. In June 2010 we (16 immediate family members) all went to Spain with mum and dad. He was in a wheelchair by this point, having had chemo, but wanted us all to have a big family holiday. We expected to have him for at least another couple of years. He died 18 days after we got home from a blood infection. My heart was broken. I have slowly slowly since then, been a long path of recovery. The depression is under control and I can function. But the anxiety will always be there is making things tough for me.
Today I start a new very part time job, only an hour and 25 minutes a day five days a week but its causing me panic. Hence joining this forum. xxx