LittleBear
05-09-15, 23:48
We’ll be moving soon and I’m going out of my mind with worry. I keep feeling like we made a huge mistake and that I’m going to regret moving away from everything that I know and consider “safe.” On top of that, I’m also going through some weird grieving process because we’ll also be selling my childhood home.
I try to think of all that’s good in the new house, and that I have moved in the past (my family moved constantly until I was 7 years old). I know my family’s excited to be moving again, but I can’t imagine leaving my home. I’ve been here for most of my life (16 years) and it’s my safe zone. I don’t know the new city we’re moving to, even though it’s only 20 minutes away, and I’m scared to leave my hometown.
At the new house, we’ll be 10 minutes away from town and in the country. I won’t have the comforting lights of the city anymore; instead we’ll be surrounded by forest and pastures. Which I want to be excited about, since I love farm animals and wildlife, but every time we went camping (in a cabin) over the years, the self-harming, intrusive thoughts came back as well as my depression/general anxiety. I’m terrified the new house will bring those on again and I’ll have to be institutionalized to keep from hurting myself (even though I never have hurt myself in the past, but I have been hospitalized because of my anxiety/depression).
Though, when we left for hotels, I didn’t really experience those thoughts after the first couple of days. The hotels became a landing pad/safe zone.
I’m scared I won’t be able to make the move, but I don’t have any options. I have to go. I can’t stay in our current house by myself, since I have no income and I can’t bear to be separated from my family. I dread the day that we actually leave. I’m scared of having a mental breakdown since I literally can’t imagine my life without the familiar, comforting sights of my current house. I realize it sounds extremely melodramatic, but I’ve cried almost every night since we went into the buying process.
My stress level is through the roof and even though I have a supportive family and they’re having a hard time understanding, since I was initially on board with moving and leaving our city.
I’m sorry this is long, I’ve been bottling this up for a while... Thank you for reading and for letting me vent. Knowing that there’s others out there like me is really comforting.
I try to think of all that’s good in the new house, and that I have moved in the past (my family moved constantly until I was 7 years old). I know my family’s excited to be moving again, but I can’t imagine leaving my home. I’ve been here for most of my life (16 years) and it’s my safe zone. I don’t know the new city we’re moving to, even though it’s only 20 minutes away, and I’m scared to leave my hometown.
At the new house, we’ll be 10 minutes away from town and in the country. I won’t have the comforting lights of the city anymore; instead we’ll be surrounded by forest and pastures. Which I want to be excited about, since I love farm animals and wildlife, but every time we went camping (in a cabin) over the years, the self-harming, intrusive thoughts came back as well as my depression/general anxiety. I’m terrified the new house will bring those on again and I’ll have to be institutionalized to keep from hurting myself (even though I never have hurt myself in the past, but I have been hospitalized because of my anxiety/depression).
Though, when we left for hotels, I didn’t really experience those thoughts after the first couple of days. The hotels became a landing pad/safe zone.
I’m scared I won’t be able to make the move, but I don’t have any options. I have to go. I can’t stay in our current house by myself, since I have no income and I can’t bear to be separated from my family. I dread the day that we actually leave. I’m scared of having a mental breakdown since I literally can’t imagine my life without the familiar, comforting sights of my current house. I realize it sounds extremely melodramatic, but I’ve cried almost every night since we went into the buying process.
My stress level is through the roof and even though I have a supportive family and they’re having a hard time understanding, since I was initially on board with moving and leaving our city.
I’m sorry this is long, I’ve been bottling this up for a while... Thank you for reading and for letting me vent. Knowing that there’s others out there like me is really comforting.