oh no what have i done

[frosty2901]

My anxiety and panic attacks started in 2012 after I was made redundant from work and had a few issues with the council about asbestos in my flat and had to move in with my parents whilst the council ripped all the celling's down and put new ones up.

I was out of work for a year and started my cbt just before getting a temporary summer job back where I was made redundant from.
My cbt therapist was amazing and she helped me totally change my life again and since august 2013 I have been fighting the daily niggles and pains of Mr anxiety and Mr panic with the cbt methods I learnt in the 6 months I see her. So much so that in the august of 2013 I stood up in front of just over 100 people and read out a poem at my brothers wedding.

Now work has been ticking along ok and at the end of 2013 we got the manager back who I have worked with before and like working with.

Until say the last 6 months when the manager has become more and more nasty he has sworn at me at lest 3 times when I have been trying to tell him why I have or haven't done the thing he is asking me about !!!(I was a supervisor). This has made me have a few bad days with the panic attacks but I can just about manage and feel I would be able to continue working there even though I should never have to work under those conditions no one should.


fast forward to the beginning of august now the manager is what's classed as a satellite manager he runs 2 stores and 2 concessions so in each store there is a sales manager. the one for my store was on holiday and in fact she has left now as well.

That just left me and one other supervisor who is actually contracted for more hours than I was.
She was sick at the time.
On the Friday it was my day off and they tried calling me the supervisor and the manger. The manager was also on a day off. I didn't answer because I gathered they wanted me to work as they messaged me as well saying she was sick and could I phone them. they phoned me about 8 times all before 9 o'clock in the morning then nothing more.
I text them both later in the day to ask if all was ok and didn't get a reply at all so as far as I am aware all was sorted.

So on the Saturday I go into work at 8:45 for my 3 hour shift as I was driving in the supervisor rung me but of course I didn't answer as I was driving I walked through the door and the manager was ringing the work phone.

He then starts having a go at me for not answering the phone and the fact that he hasn't got my home number as he hasn't took it out of the book because I told him my phone was on silent so didn't see it till later he's shouting and moaning well its down to you to cover and sort the store as your next in line if the others arnt there well what about him then ?
he then informs me that no one is coming in till 1 o'clock to cover and I will have to stay till then !!!! and its my own fault for not answering in the morning.

Ok there's nothing I can do as I cant leave the shop without a member of management there and the sales manager was coming over from the other store when someone else got there to cover him. he then phoned me and confirmed he'd be there between 1 and 1:15. time then ticks away and before I know it its 2 and I am like what's going on the phone rings and a member of staff answers it and I hear her saying well she's right next to me do you want to speak to her and he must of said no as she then hung up and said he had to go home and get his phone and he will be an hour :ohmy:

anyway 3 o'clock comes and I am on the phone to the manager who is on a day off again and he says ok just get your stuff and go I will sort him out.
I went up and started to get my stuff and this guy comes in and is like you alright so I say no im not so he tries to put his arm round me and im like get off don't touch me (a few of the young girls had been saying to me they don't like him he makes sexual comments t them ).
he then goes oh what wrong with you just because you've got the hump with the manager don't take it out on me so I said no hang on I have got the hump with him but you are rde and you didn't have the decency to phone and speak to me and left me know you would be even later than you was going to be you could have phoned me he then blamed it on the person who was going to cover him and that.


omg well then he blows up shouting so loud people could hear him down stairs out side on the shop floor and he's right in my face and like oh you better just get your stuff and go so I said what are you threatening me and he said well if you don't get your stuff then you will see what I will do.not just once 3 or 4 times he says that.

so that day I went home and told my husband I will be handing my notice in on the Monday and that is it because I will never be in the same building as him again. and he agreed with me.
I have since spoke to the human resources department and the manager as I want him dealt with but I don't think hardly any thing has been done.


but that leaves me with the here and now I am getting a bit frightened that as I am not working and will be looking for a new job am I going to get back in the rut of anxiety and panic.
have I made the right decision should I have stayed there and have to feel physically sick every time I see him as he is there at least 2 days a week now as the sales manager has left.

thanks for reading so sorry its so long but I need to get it off my chest to the only people I know will understand x

[23tana]

No-one should be harassed sexually or mentally in their workplace. Sounds like you have been both. Are you in a union? If so, see your union representative. If not, contact CAB. You can get free legal advice from them.

[venusbluejeans]

You have done the right thing Frosty but I don't think I would let it lie..... go back to HR and ask them what has been done about the situation.

23tana ideas are good, head to the Citezens advice and see if there is any help they can offer you .

[Leah1971]

Hi Frosty, sounds to me like you did the right thing too. No one should be yelled at like that. I'd definitely follow it up with the HR department. Xo

[MyNameIsTerry]

Frosty,

Have you got your works handbook or access to the t&c's that cover putting in a grevience? You would need to submit something in writing to make a complaint but having the process to hand is essential so you know what you can do.

Threatening someone is a serious offence in the workplace and should be dealt with whether you stay or not. Have a look on CAB's website as it is excellent and very detailed about all sorts of things. You can also check on the ACAS website.

Putting his arm around you is ill advised and some people are always going to react to that so a manager shouldn't do it but as a former manager myself I can't say I've ever done more than put a hand on a shoulder although I knew those people for years and had a good relationship with them so they had done the same with me. There is no reason why you shouldn't make your company aware of that type of behaviour as they wouldn't approve of it as it leaves them open to claims if he does things. Given the remarks he makes to the others, it sounds like he needs pulling up on his behaviour.

Especially include the remark about "you will see what I will do" as that could imply force and is totally unacceptable. He will argue that he could be implying he would make it a disciplinary matter and so he could wriggle out of it (and it depends on the type of company, the HR people too as they can close ranks) but that doesn't mean you can't get something from this in terms of reinstatement with certain changes to prevent this from happening again. Hopefully the others will give statements too.

But most of all, protect yourself and do what you feel is right for you. You shouldn't have to leave your job over this and thats a headaches for your manager anyway so if I was him I wouldn't be pleased at the other guy anyway and hopefully they won't have a good relationship and stick together.

[frosty2901]

The trouble is as I said to the manager who said to me well ill make sure you don't have to ever work for him, I know he will be there when I'm not and I will more than likely have to speak to him over the phone and see messages from him in a hand over. he actually makes my skin crawl. I have spoke to the manager since and he said hr have told him he has to give the horrible man a letter of concern which basically means if he does anything like that again he will lose his job but as there isn't any witnesses to the fact he threatened me and the member of staff who heard him said he didn't hear what he was saying only that he was shouting at me he has got away with it. My worry is more now,that I will go back to feeling like I did before when I didnt have a job. And the trigger is there and I feel it's all my fault as i chose to leave. I can't keep p the positive thought like oh well I will get a better job that people treat me better and I don't get 20p an hour more than minimum wage yes that's all I got for opening and closing the shop and being a key holder,and dealing with all the crap from staff and customers. I could get better wages doing a normal role else where.
Oh and the manager is up the other guys arise as he needs him as there isn't enough other members of managed and I told him that lol x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thats an odd thing for HR to do. There has been no investigation surely? To give him something in writing that a next offence means dismissal makes it sound like a final written warning. They don't give those out without just cause and without a proper investigation since a tribunal could use that against them later, he would be able to dispute it. Very strange company!

Eitherway, it's whats best for you that matters. It's a very unpleasant thing that you should not have experienced but if being there is worse, then perhaps you have done the right thing. Your husband obviously thinks so and he knows you more.

Is it the fact you are not doing something and socialising that worries you about this and that being at home means more time thinking about anxiety? If so, do you think it would be a good idea to do some voluntary work inbetween to keep you doing things that are helping you with your anxiety?

[Moley]

Sorry I don't really have any advice but I don't think anyone deserves to be treated like that. so you have done the right thing getting out of there but he should be able to get away with treating people like that.

sending u big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Greenman50]

Let them bog off , your not there to get abuse .

Your worth more than that you dont need the pain , keep busy at home , go for a walk etc another job will come along .

No point in going to work if you hate the thought of the guy