SurfingWaves
06-09-15, 16:29
Hi everyone,
I started getting anxious when I was 14 when schoolfriends pointed out that I was blushing and I quickly found that there was nothing i could do to stop it.. the rest of my school life revolved around control strategies so people didn't notice.. I was still a very sociable guy but would get horrible anxiety and panic when I started blushing but it didn't stop me from having good friends and enjoying myself for the most part.
I developed serious anxiety issues towards my last year of school tho and eventually went to the doctors and was put on Seroxat anti-depressants which helped me to care less about it and I had much less anxiety, life was quite good at that point. I started working after leaving school in a busy office, started to smoke weed after 2 years there. smoked every day without fail. after the fourth year I stopped taking anti depressants thinking that I was feeling much better.. probably all the dopamine from the weed telling me everything was fine. Anyways I had major panic attacks/anxiety and couldn't sleep until I went back on the tablets.
Started a new job, felt better and once again stopped the tablets. had another bad episode which triggered Pure 'O' OCD and the worst anxiety of my life. couldnt sleep for weeks, I was a zombie. I quit my job. I started Effexor venlafaxine for a short time which really helped me get back to normal.
These last 8 years I have been free from anti-depressants but smoked cannabis every day, spent a few long periods on job search benefits.
I quit cannabis completely 4 months ago when me and my partner had a baby.
I am really facing my issues now with no anti-depressants or weed and I've become very anxious about everything, especially social things. Trying to find a job at the moment and am dreading going back to work with people I dont know.
I've learned things that trigger my anxiety:
Being judged and looking strange / stupid
many negative thoughts
eye contact with strangers
blushing
sweating (this started happening a lot, its worse than blushing sometimes but recently started using treatments to minimise it)
bills/money management - im hopeless at it and got myself in a lot of debt
I had pretty much given up on life but having a baby has given me something to live for.
I am practicing mindfulness which is helping a bit, Started taking 5htp a week ago but havent really seen any benefits from it.
Sorry for the long post,
Surfing
I started getting anxious when I was 14 when schoolfriends pointed out that I was blushing and I quickly found that there was nothing i could do to stop it.. the rest of my school life revolved around control strategies so people didn't notice.. I was still a very sociable guy but would get horrible anxiety and panic when I started blushing but it didn't stop me from having good friends and enjoying myself for the most part.
I developed serious anxiety issues towards my last year of school tho and eventually went to the doctors and was put on Seroxat anti-depressants which helped me to care less about it and I had much less anxiety, life was quite good at that point. I started working after leaving school in a busy office, started to smoke weed after 2 years there. smoked every day without fail. after the fourth year I stopped taking anti depressants thinking that I was feeling much better.. probably all the dopamine from the weed telling me everything was fine. Anyways I had major panic attacks/anxiety and couldn't sleep until I went back on the tablets.
Started a new job, felt better and once again stopped the tablets. had another bad episode which triggered Pure 'O' OCD and the worst anxiety of my life. couldnt sleep for weeks, I was a zombie. I quit my job. I started Effexor venlafaxine for a short time which really helped me get back to normal.
These last 8 years I have been free from anti-depressants but smoked cannabis every day, spent a few long periods on job search benefits.
I quit cannabis completely 4 months ago when me and my partner had a baby.
I am really facing my issues now with no anti-depressants or weed and I've become very anxious about everything, especially social things. Trying to find a job at the moment and am dreading going back to work with people I dont know.
I've learned things that trigger my anxiety:
Being judged and looking strange / stupid
many negative thoughts
eye contact with strangers
blushing
sweating (this started happening a lot, its worse than blushing sometimes but recently started using treatments to minimise it)
bills/money management - im hopeless at it and got myself in a lot of debt
I had pretty much given up on life but having a baby has given me something to live for.
I am practicing mindfulness which is helping a bit, Started taking 5htp a week ago but havent really seen any benefits from it.
Sorry for the long post,
Surfing