apologies to all my friends on here,

[Paddington]

well guys,it's been a long time since i have logged on,i have been a mess to be honest!I have been quite ill[chest infection etc]but that is not the problem.I think i lulled myself in to a belief that i was better,you know going to concerts,driving my daughter to work,BUT,all i have been doing is using different stratagies to cover up how i truly feel inside:(I dont go any where else in my car,too scared!I dont go totown or on public transport ,too scared!Oh you know how it goes so i have been depressed too,wont go to drs tho as he doesnt understandI feel as tho i am watching myself living but not actually taking part,wearing a big mask type of thing!!??.Have spent days in bed in a horrrid desperate attempt to block everything out,but just got vile anxiety symptoms and insomnia!!wonderful!!I am not feeling too sorry for myself [a bit tho!]i have gained a lot of weight [comfort and self hatred eating]so i plan to get a treadmill to help shift that[Yeah!]really i want to say sorry to you for being gone for so long,Nic ,Karen,Piglet Fee,Iain and every one.You are like family to me.I have missed our chats.Feels a bit scarey but good to be back.Love you all loads.M.R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Piglet]

Awww lovie :(

<center>(((MR)))</center>

I'm so glad you have logged on and hope by having a good vent on here we can help support you through this little lean time!!

It happens to all of us you know - we go on mooching along then all of a sudden think 'ooh I feel like crap'!!!

I've got a good book for anyone feeling like that, it's called 'Present Moment Awareness by Shannon Duncan and I got it off Amazon over a year ago now. I am re-reading it at the mo and I'd fogotten how good it is. It's a really easy read, not at all too deep and deserves its place beside Claire Weekes 'Self Help for your Nerves' on my bookshelf for sure.:)

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Paddington !

I was wondering how you where hun, havent seen you around. So sorry to read you havent been too good.
I too have had a bad spell, but by telling myself how much progress i made last year as helped me to get back on track.
You did so well too last year MR, sometimes its easy to forget how well we have done, but im sure you will get there again.
Never give in MR, we are much stronger than that !
Missed not having you around, take care and hope to speak soon !

Love

Andrea
xxxx


"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[feege]

(((((MARY)))))

Hi sweetie!!! You have been missed but lovey - come and go as much as you want - we'll always be pleased to see you:D:D

You are always so sweet and supportive to everyone - maybe it's time you let rip a bit eh?!!!

So glad to hear you have been going out (concerts woohoo!!!) and the rest will come with time - it never just disappears but baby steps are definitely the best way in my book!

Life is hard sometimes but also full of fun and joy, sometimes we're just more able to deal with it than others - but you know we're here for you:D:D:D

It's February anyway. Personally I think we should all be in hibernation, only place to be lol[Oops!]

Be kind to yourself, and pat yourself on the back for all your achievements.

Love and hugs from me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

[Karen]

Hi Mary Rose

I'm so sorry to hear you have been having such a bad time. Depression is horrible when it hits like that. I empathise with staying in bed because that's what I've been doing too.

Even though you presently think you have not made any progress the fact is that you did accomplish all those things you listed and that is definitely progress. Some aspects are still difficult but with small steps you can get there.

Less of the self-hatred ok? ;) You have been so supportive of me and many others here and we are here for you.

Take care of yourself and remember we are here when you need us.

Karen xx

[nomorepanic]

Mary Rose

Lovely to see you back but sorry it is under such circumstances.

Sending you big hugs and love and hope we can get you back on track again.
xxxxxxx

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[Paddington]

thanks guys.It means a lot to read your messages.I need to be on here really,it was here that made me so much better originally,But depression is such a cruel illness9thanks forthe understandingKaren,you have nuff on your plate hun].My family dont see itat all,they point put how much worse off other people are,which compounds my feelings of worthlesness..i think many of us have been there!Thanks Piglet for the book title,i will look for it on amazon.Big hugs to you all.Love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Piglet]

Well try and get on here when you can mate - you'll always get a warm welcome from us!!

:D:D

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[wobily_lin]

Sorry you've not been too good hun..hugs...great ta have you back...we all here for you x

Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!

[Paddington]

thanks piglet and Lin,I am clingoing on to therock face so to speak,and am determined not to fall!I ventured into town with my daughter yesterday,i did ,sadly,have a PA,and had totake my valium AND gulp two glasses of wine.But it then passed[not suprisingly!!]and i managed to do what i set out to do.I wanted to 'do a piglet'and lie on the pavement,but my daughter would have been mortified wirh shame!!lol!!thanks for caringLots of love M.R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Piglet]

Hi ya hun,

Think we can all relate to the panic attacks etc - I felt a bit crap at the shops the other day too but I try and think of each day as a fresh sheet of paper and todays writing won't be as wobbly!! :D

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Paddington]

PIGLET,BLESS YOUR WISE HEART!I am sorry you had a wobble at the shops hun,it is so nasty.Takes the breath from me,i know!A wonderful way of putting it ,you are a true poet Piglet!ThanksLove M.R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Karen]

Hi MR

Well done for getting out and going into town. I know how difficult that is with depression let alone panic too.

We will get you through this blip.

Karen xx

[Paddington]

Thank you Nigel and Karen too.I am so relieved that i can still get on here:sign20: i am NOT pc savvy and thought i may lose you all:eek: Any hoo,yesterday was a bit grim,today is better foR being on here talking to you all.Thanks for the encouraging words,it means sooo much,as i am labelled an attention seeker by most of my family,oh full of ego is another good one:rolleyes: dont you just love the labels:nonono: That is why this forum is so important,we can speak freely of our fears without condemnation.Thanks again.Love M.R. xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Piglet]

Hi ya hun,

Glad you found the new site ok and I lurrve the beautiful butterfly lol!!

I'd love to wear wings like that all the time wouldn't you?! Perhaps I'll have to settle for my beads instead! I am quite thrilled on my little trips the shops to see such lovely colours coming in for the spring/summer clothes!!

I think I am gonna be very bright this summer :emot-giggle: :emot-giggle: :emot-giggle:

Piglet :)

[Karen]

How are you today MR?:hugs:

Karen xx

[Paddington]

hi piglet[love the pringle eating piglet,fabulous!]hi Karen...thanks for the replies.I was looking at the lovely fashions in the windows of the shops in ludlow.YES ,I WENT OUT ON SATURDAY:D Adam was very proud of me[he never says much,but has seen me back sliding and was worried.. i think?]I long to wear pretty things again,but being humongous,sort of puts me off,i am not very into fatties wearing clothes for skinnies ,just made bigger,IT DOES NOT LOOK THE SAME!The daft thing is,at whatever weight i have been i have always been 'fat' and steered clear of colour and lovely things,I AM BIEGE:D :D :D :sign20: So it needs to be sorted out,how? i dont know!!Maybe i am an obsessive/compulsive eater??Oh tosh to it all.Karen you have made me laugh outloud today with your cartoon of face in spag bol,hilarious:D It is good to find the humour in our deperate lives isn't it.my day has lifted no end..now.if only i could lift my end off the sofa........thanks guys.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx