First time 'poster', long time worrier!

[PWO_Nathan]

Hi all,

I have perused this website for a number of months and until now, not posted as I don't feel I have the right to complain. By this, I mean I have read some of your stories and I am utterly amazed at how strong you all are and how insignificant my symptoms are.

I am ex forces, having Served a number of years in the Prince of Wales Own Regiment (now known as the Yorkshire Regiment). I have never been an anxious person although both my parents were. My "condition" began in 2013 after I ran the Jane Tomlinson 10k for my chosen charity Mind. A week after I ran, I began becoming increasingly infatuated with my heart. I have two girls (third due end of September) and I would say, since the birth of my first daughter my anxiety has increased steadily to where it is now.

My anxiety is primarily focused on my heart. Over the last two years I have been to A&E countless times convinced I have a heart condition. I have had a tracing of my heart done (at much annoyance of the Doctors who said I met no risk factors of heart condition, and if I did indeed have one the 10k run would have at very least resulted in Angina attack) which came back perfectly fine. I am 32 years of age, I have never smoked, I do not drink (I did, heavily when I was in the forces but only on weekends :yesyes: ) and my diet is spot on. In addition, I weight train 4 times a week and I am described as muscular build.

All things considered, I just cannot get rid of the thought that I have a heart condition. The underlying reason for this, is my father had Angina. However, my father also was obese, had the worst diet ever and a heavy smoker. He died of pneumonia in 2005. The Doctors are trying their hardest with me and prescribed various medication ranging from Citalopram to Propranolol (I am now on 30mg Mirtazapine - 3 months in). My anxiety has began creeping back up and I check my pulse / heart rate every hour or so. I have been referred for CBT but it really is unbearable. As I said above, I don't feel I have any right to post on this forum as you guys have genuine symptoms and I feel my post is affront to your (for want of a better word) problems.

I don't even know what answer I want from this post, nor why I am writing it. I just thought I had to try something.

Thank you for reading.

[damianjmcgrath]

I also suffer from heart anxiety. I've been through group and individual CBT and it didn't make much difference to me, although I think now, 6 weeks later, some stuff they said is sinking in.

In a typical week, I have 3/4 good days and 3/4 bad days. On the good days, I have no symptoms and I think I rule the world. On the bad days, I'm convinced I have a huge heart problem. I don't remember the good days on the bad. My symptoms are obviously anxiety, but in the moment, they feel just like heart problems. Sometimes the symptoms can last 48 hours, which concerns me because that's more consistent with a real problem rather than anxiety attacks.

Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm super dizzy, stabbing chest pains, heavy feeling over my left shoulder armpit area and a big feeling of dread. I've also got general body weakness and tiredness to the point of grumpiness and tired headaches. I can't remember the good days.

My advice to you is stop checking. Put any blood pressure machines, blood sugar, pulse, etc machines away. Stop putting your hands on your chest, or checking your own pulse. If you're lying on the sofa and you can feel your heart beat, move positions so you can't. Stay off Google.

Have an attitude of "i don't care what is this". If you collapse, or you get into so much pain it's unbearable, then phone for help. Until that point, assume it's anxiety, recognise it, and don't care about it. That's my advice. I can't follow it myself, that's my struggle. I've been assured by doctors that it'll go away by itself or it'll ease up if I distract myself or stop giving it the power of caring about it. Real problems get worse. Anxiety eases.

[PWO_Nathan]

Thank you ever so much for your reply Damian. Sound words of advice,if somewhat hard to do.

Your symptoms scare the hell out of me, I can only imagine how much worst I would be if I suffered one or a combination of them. Silly thing is, with my weight training I ache / have pains all the time but I can rationalize them by saying "not rocket science Nath, you worked chest today and now your chest is sore" etc.

The triage assessment I had made a good point, I am scenario building based on my upbringing of having an ill father so I am petrified of my girls enduring the same. Silly thing is, been this anxious is impacting them far more than if I did indeed have a heart problem.

Annoyingly, I was worried about the health of my heart. I then finally got over this and read under CBT that "exposure" to what worries you is best so you know its not an issue. I watched a Doctor on 'This Morning' and he said that many thousands of people die each year from a problem with the electrics on their heart. Bang, right back to square one. Now I am convinced I have a very healthy heart but the electrics are all messed up so one day I will just collapse.

Been like this is so exhausting, i take my hat off you to and others who have far worst than I do. I feel like an utter coward seeking help when I am experiencing a fraction of what you and others are having to endure on a daily basis.

Thanks again

[KayeS]

You're by no means a coward, you're suffering, and for that reason you have every right to post here looking for help or advice.

For a period of about 6 months once, I became absolutely obsessed with my heart after my mother told me that apparently when I was born, doctors thought I had a heart murmur which in the end turned out to be nothing. But I had this thought in my head that what if it was something and I have an undiagnosed condition. It became really bad, I was always checking my pulse, and whats worse, is the anxiety was causing heart flutters which I was CERTAIN was my heart going into abnormal rhythm.

Like you, I train 4-5 times a week, heavy weight training, and when I have the usual DOMS pain, I can rationalise it, and actually funnily enough, when I don't train for a week and have no muscle pain, that's when I become super aware of other small pains, so to keep my muscles hurting all the time almost masks other small pains which are nothing, but would otherwise trigger my anxiety.

The advice above is good advice. Try and get into the mindset of not paying attention to it. Set yourself goals. Say "ok, today, I'm not gonna check my pulse once." Start there. What will most likely happen eventually is you'll realise one day "hey, I haven't thought about my heart all day" and you'll realise that you felt great all day having not been thinking about it non stop.

[Pepperpot]

Hello and welcome. :)

First of all, don't think that your problems/worries are insignificant compared to other people's - they are not. If you're worried then you have just as much right to post on here.
I have been ill with anxiety for around 2 months. It started with the choking sensation and gasping for air. I got some propanolol, and it causes your heart to slow, and I was obsessed with checking my pulse all the time. I panicked when it went below 60bpm. I came off the tablets and I still check my pulse, but nowhere near as bad. I have stabbing pains in my chest, but I believe I am slowly improving as now I think that as long as they are on the right side, they are simply anxiety (I panic when they go onto the left though lol). I too am on the CBT list - I am hoping this helps. It sounds like it will help you too. In my opinion, you cannot do anything else to ensure you are as healthy as you can be, so don't waste your energy on worrying about "what ifs" (easier said than done I know). x