Maxedcoke
12-09-15, 12:52
Hey guys, I have been on these forums many times searching up all kinds of symptoms/ anxiety related things. I always convince myself I have horrible illness, and stress over anything I find, such as a lump or freckle etc. Its nice to know I am not alone and hopefully I can find some help here! :)
Here is some background on my situation.
Around January I noticed a lump right above my adams apple pushed a little to the left. It was around the size of a gum ball, out of nowhere it just appeared. I immediately freaked out, started searching on google. Went to the doctors (urgent care) the next day, they had no idea so I went to my normal doctors when I could get an appointment. They thought its might be a lymph node gave me antibiotics and said see what happens after a week or two. Nothing happened, the lump fluctuated all the time, getting slightly smaller and bigger. Saw an ENT, and got an ultrasound and CT. On a side note this all was dragged out over like 5 months because of my anxiety with doctors visits (another story for another day) and I literally had to be forced to get to the doctors. The consensus was I had a Thyroglossal duct cyst, which is in most cases benign, but they always recommend taking it out via a surgery. I heard this a freaked out, I will avoid surgery at any cost, I am terrified of it, and especially the anesthesia (I have a loss of control kind of anxiety). So I ignored it since it is usually benign, although it looked terrible I had a large lump in my neck and due to my anxiety I wouldn't bring myself to seek adequate treatment, and I also didn't want to have a huge scar on my neck.
I sought secondary treatment and had the cyst aspirated then had ethanol injected into the cyst which is a treatment usually used for thyroid cysts and is still considered experimental. The doctor took the fluid and sent it for biopsy because sometimes the cysts can carry cancer. I never heard back which was good I guess, the cyst is smaller that it was, still there but nonetheless it grows and shrinks like it did before.
Now I have left the country doing a working abroad program in Germany. I love to travel and this is not my first time living abroad. I have been in Germany a month and of course started worrying myself. I "felt" a lymph node one day in my neck that seemed to be palpable, I messed with it for awhile convincing myself it was abnormal, and now it is a little solid and not too tender unless I start messing with it. Its probably 1-2cm. So I worry about that now. I still have this cyst which I was hoping would stay the same, but now Im worrying what if it IS cancerous (because the biopsies aren't always 100 percent correct) The ENT also said my thyroid was slightly larger than normal, so he ordered a blood test, which I never got to do before I left... So I drive myself crazy every night wondering what I should do/ If I even have a real reason to be concerned. What if it is cancerous am I just doing nothing and allowing it to spread all over? Is it smart to just wait it out until I return to America (in May 2016)? I can't really seek true medical treatment here in Germany due to insurance so If I had something serious I would go back, but I don't want to just abandon my program if I don't have to. Im driving myself insane.
Any thoughts advice you guys have? Sorry for the long post, I am trying to spell out all of my thought hear, hopefully you guys can provide a little perspective :)
Here is some background on my situation.
Around January I noticed a lump right above my adams apple pushed a little to the left. It was around the size of a gum ball, out of nowhere it just appeared. I immediately freaked out, started searching on google. Went to the doctors (urgent care) the next day, they had no idea so I went to my normal doctors when I could get an appointment. They thought its might be a lymph node gave me antibiotics and said see what happens after a week or two. Nothing happened, the lump fluctuated all the time, getting slightly smaller and bigger. Saw an ENT, and got an ultrasound and CT. On a side note this all was dragged out over like 5 months because of my anxiety with doctors visits (another story for another day) and I literally had to be forced to get to the doctors. The consensus was I had a Thyroglossal duct cyst, which is in most cases benign, but they always recommend taking it out via a surgery. I heard this a freaked out, I will avoid surgery at any cost, I am terrified of it, and especially the anesthesia (I have a loss of control kind of anxiety). So I ignored it since it is usually benign, although it looked terrible I had a large lump in my neck and due to my anxiety I wouldn't bring myself to seek adequate treatment, and I also didn't want to have a huge scar on my neck.
I sought secondary treatment and had the cyst aspirated then had ethanol injected into the cyst which is a treatment usually used for thyroid cysts and is still considered experimental. The doctor took the fluid and sent it for biopsy because sometimes the cysts can carry cancer. I never heard back which was good I guess, the cyst is smaller that it was, still there but nonetheless it grows and shrinks like it did before.
Now I have left the country doing a working abroad program in Germany. I love to travel and this is not my first time living abroad. I have been in Germany a month and of course started worrying myself. I "felt" a lymph node one day in my neck that seemed to be palpable, I messed with it for awhile convincing myself it was abnormal, and now it is a little solid and not too tender unless I start messing with it. Its probably 1-2cm. So I worry about that now. I still have this cyst which I was hoping would stay the same, but now Im worrying what if it IS cancerous (because the biopsies aren't always 100 percent correct) The ENT also said my thyroid was slightly larger than normal, so he ordered a blood test, which I never got to do before I left... So I drive myself crazy every night wondering what I should do/ If I even have a real reason to be concerned. What if it is cancerous am I just doing nothing and allowing it to spread all over? Is it smart to just wait it out until I return to America (in May 2016)? I can't really seek true medical treatment here in Germany due to insurance so If I had something serious I would go back, but I don't want to just abandon my program if I don't have to. Im driving myself insane.
Any thoughts advice you guys have? Sorry for the long post, I am trying to spell out all of my thought hear, hopefully you guys can provide a little perspective :)