Out of relationship anxiety

[wubu]

We were together about 8 years and we had our fair share of crap and always pulled through. I cannot remember how many times I saved our relationship but due to various factors we split. It was a shock because Friday we had a nice day out together and it seemed pretty chilled then the following day it ended. It's long winded so I am just gonna write this.

She was the first person I fell in love with, me and my son are staying together in the family home but I am finding it upsetting because for example, I sipped a glass of wine and it instantly reminded me of when we first met and other simple things like walking in to the lounge and nobody is there asking what we should watch, I'm expecting to hear the door unlock and the smell of clothing, it's like our life together we had flashes before me and then back to reality. Despite what lead to the separation I feel like I have lost my soulmate, someone that no matter what crap day I have had she was there to hug me.

I miss it a lot but the other half of me says that if my son wasn't with me I would have nothing. Those thoughts help and he keeps me going because I think at least I've still got my son and that's the important thing. His hugs are great and loving but sometimes after a crap day at work it's nice to have your partner to speak to.

If anyone else has been through this, which I'm sure I am not the only one, what helped as right now I feel like I will never get over her.

[Rennie1989]

Whilst I haven't been in your position I can only imagine how awful I would feel if my husband and I separated. I wouldn't know what to do.

But, as an outsider, what I can suggest is seeing your friends and family. Go out, have a coffee, go shopping, something, keep your mind busy with people who mean a lot to you. It won't get rid of the pain but it will help a bit. Keep your mind busy with hobbies so your mind is not constantly on the look for reminders and memories.

Take care of yourself. Time is the greatest healer.

[TryingToStopThinking]

Hi, When I split from my ex husband we'd been together 11 years and by the time we decided we'd never get back together and I signed the divorce papers it was 13 years - that was when I started getting anxiety badly. It's an incredibly hard thing to deal with and you need to really look after yourself physically and emotionally - make sure you eat properly, exercise etc and also talk to people - go and see a counsellor if you can - this really helped me. You can get through this and feel good again. You will find that there are reminders everywhere if you've been together so long - you might not feel like it straight away but at some point it's a good idea to start getting rid of your old stuff you shared in the relationship and start getting new things of your own.