ana
14-09-15, 13:52
The more I think about this, the more I annoy myself, but I feel like it might be useful to let it out, and see if anyone else has experienced a similar thing, or is in a similarly ridiculous situation as I am.
Basically, I work in shifts, and I find it easier to function in the mornings. I can accomplish more things, go more places without feeling panicky. As the day goes by, however, I find my anxiety more difficult to manage so I usually spend quiet evenings at home. The problem is that every other week I work the evening shift, and what's been happening for almost a year now is that I get full blown panic attacks in the form of severe depersonalisation EVERY SINGLE TIME on this street I take to and from the workplace. :wacko:
I don't know what it is about this particular place, this street which holds no significance to me personally in the sense that something bad has happened there in the past; it's only a short walk as it takes me exactly 4 minutes to get to the zebra crossing and then I'm on the other side of the road feeling much better - it's like magic! I don't know whether to laugh or cry about this, but I can't seem to be able to not panic, especially on my way back to work so I usually make a run for it (which makes the panic even worse as my breathing quickens) which can be dangerous as I approach the road with traffic coming down, and I'm all spaced out and disoriented...
It's really bugging me, why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I seem to be able to not induce a panic attack and just stay calm and walk like a normal person? It's become a problem as I arrive to work feeling like crap, and it takes me a bit of time to settle down and go into work mode. I know this sounds silly, and I feel silly writing about something as trivial as 4 minutes of depersonalisation, but my stomach's all in knots, I keep getting frustrated for not being able to fully analyse and resolve this issue, and today I need to be in at 6 so yeah... lovely :weep:
Basically, I work in shifts, and I find it easier to function in the mornings. I can accomplish more things, go more places without feeling panicky. As the day goes by, however, I find my anxiety more difficult to manage so I usually spend quiet evenings at home. The problem is that every other week I work the evening shift, and what's been happening for almost a year now is that I get full blown panic attacks in the form of severe depersonalisation EVERY SINGLE TIME on this street I take to and from the workplace. :wacko:
I don't know what it is about this particular place, this street which holds no significance to me personally in the sense that something bad has happened there in the past; it's only a short walk as it takes me exactly 4 minutes to get to the zebra crossing and then I'm on the other side of the road feeling much better - it's like magic! I don't know whether to laugh or cry about this, but I can't seem to be able to not panic, especially on my way back to work so I usually make a run for it (which makes the panic even worse as my breathing quickens) which can be dangerous as I approach the road with traffic coming down, and I'm all spaced out and disoriented...
It's really bugging me, why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I seem to be able to not induce a panic attack and just stay calm and walk like a normal person? It's become a problem as I arrive to work feeling like crap, and it takes me a bit of time to settle down and go into work mode. I know this sounds silly, and I feel silly writing about something as trivial as 4 minutes of depersonalisation, but my stomach's all in knots, I keep getting frustrated for not being able to fully analyse and resolve this issue, and today I need to be in at 6 so yeah... lovely :weep: