intense feeling that something is wrong..can't cope with this anymore :(

[white1989]

Sorry for the long post, I'm feeling in desperate need of help as I don't know how to continue like this :(

I am having the worst time at the moment and just feel like there is no hope anymore. For 2 years I have been suffering with intense bodily sensations which are all blamed on anxiety, I get strange heart sensations like skipped beats, (pvc's I've seen them called on here), sometimes tonnes in a row, and recently I have been getting severe breathing problems feeling daily like someone is sat on my wind pipe and like I cant take a proper breath without making a serious effort. I have suffered intermittent chest pain during these last 2 years as well but over the last few weeks it has got really intense, like sometimes its really dull and achy (always on the left side) and a lot of the time feels like its coming from inside the breast. this is leading me to think its breast cancer, I had a check-up at the breast clinic about 5 months ago due to finding a small lump and she also did ultrasound scan on the small area where I found the lump and it was all clear. I get this constant pain in my breast, aching dull pain, sometimes it goes into my arm, how could this not be something serious like cancer or heart problems? what else could cause pain in a breast? (I'm 26 and female by the way)

I'm in such a panic that I have cancer, a lung condition or a heart condition. so far no tests I've ever had done have shown anything up, but I'm due to see the cardiologist next month and I'm certain something will come up, if not it must be a tumour somewhere in my chest. This is literally sucking the life out of me, not a day goes by where I don't get a symptom, usually chest pain or breathing trouble, it is affecting my mood swings so much causing me to snap at my partner and family, and I have very little interest in things I previously took pleasure in (socialising, travelling) as I think 'well what's the point, my chest will only ruin it for me so why bother'. I just assume I'm on borrowed time and soon enough I'm going to die from some undiagnosed tumour which is causing the pain and breathing trouble. I just want to be able to live pain and worry free but it seems I'm just not allowed to! I spend so much time thinking about getting diagnosed in hospital with something terminal from all this and having to see my family, my partner suffer and watch me die, I'm always thinking about how horrible it will be for them. :weep: I cannot continue like this and I feel constantly like I want to run out of work and to the hospital to have a full body MRI done to stop me panicking about this, although I know a week later I'll feel exactly the same and probably wouldn't believe the results. How do I get out of this misery?

any support would be greatly appreciated x

[shifty75]

You poor thing! I too have suffered badly, especially in my 20s after I had my children.

I do feel the intensity of being a parent & loving our children can make us more susceptible to having health anxiety, as we fear not seeing our children grow up or being there for them. It really can mess with your mind!

What's important to consider here is that you have had these symptoms, aches & pains for awhile now & you are still here. If it was anything serious you would certainly know by now.

I get breast pain from time to time, have done since my 20s. It has always been hormonal. These hormones do have a lot to answer for!

I suggest making a lost of every symptom that you have, how long you have had it & what the doctor told you was the cause, but more importantly what was NOT the cause! Put your list in to columns so you can easily read it when you are feeling panicky & anxious. It really does help!

You are not alone. Most of my 20s was spent in a health anxious haze. I had too many 'health conditions' to list here but not one turned out to be the case.

Look for alternative ways to aid relaxation. Hot relaxing baths, meditation & counselling will all help.

I listen to an anxiety/hypnosis app before I go to sleep at night..just through earphones on my phone. It helps.

[white1989]

hi shifty75,

thanks so much for your reply, it was really good to read. it's reassuring to know other people have gone through this and I'm not the only one! it seems a lot of people slightly older than me (I'm assuming that your name is the year you were born but I may be wrong!) say that they went through so much anxiety turmoil in their 20's and that it improves slightly in their 30s/40s, I'm just hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that maybe one day I'll be able to enjoy myself again as at the moment I'm really not taking any enjoyment from life, just short blasts of happiness where I've managed to forget about my problems temporarily, then back to square one of feeling like I'm waiting to die! Sounds ridiculous, but my heart breaks every day for my boyfriend and my parents as I think about how they're going to loose me to a terminal illness soon. Do you still suffer with anxiety issues now and does it affect your relationship with your children at all?

thank you so much for all your advise, definitely going to look at trying some hypnosis and meditation apps, sounds like it might be helpful.
best wishes

[shifty75]

Your very welcome! I find for me that If I have a 'project' going on that I am easily distracted from my darker thoughts about my health. It usually involves decorating. I seem to be painting all the time these days but for me it's great therapy! I also only do daily what I can manage. If I'm having a bad day then I do what makes me happy..usually watching a film (comedy is great therapy!) Luckily I don't 'work' as I'm a carer but that's a job in itself..

I try to plan to keep myself busy every day of the week.

Stay positive..all things pass in the end, even this dreadful dear that something is wrong with your health :)