Very scared about a mole please help

[Weasley123]

I'm a 37 year old women whose always been anxious but health anxiety is new. I think it has to do with age. I'm very pale and moley though I never worried about moles until recently. My fear began when a few months ago I noticed a tiny black pin prick scab on a light brown mole on my back. I asked my husband to look bad he said it's a dot. It went away. Then three about four weeks ago I noticed the black dot on the mole again. I had been carrying a bag. I panicked rubbed it and it bled. I asked my husband to look he said your fine you've always had that mole. I wasn't as sure I have tons of moles. It scabbed over. I went to the derm who used dermacope and said just irritated don't worry. Over the next few weeks I watched it obsessively and googled non stop. It healed and hubby said it returned to normal. I became convinced it had a scaly texture that was different from my other moles abs was becoming more raised. I googled and became terrified. I then calmed down for a few days. Then yesterday I checked it it felt dry, scaly and more elevate. I felt that it should have healed completely. It seemed to me to have a pale grey skin over it. That is apparently bad. I rubbed and scratched it. It bled and some of the mole seemed to come off. Next day it scabbed over. I went back to the derm who said based on years of experience he was 99 percent sure it was nothing but did a shave biopsy. He said it came off easily. That was a few hous ago and it's stopped bleeding and seems to be healing. I have to wAit a week fir results. My rational brain says iris nothing. My irrational brain that read on the internet that bleeding moles are a sign of advanced melanoma is convinced I gave stage 4. I'm also scared because a year ago a cat scan for something else showed a tiny node in my liver that the doc said was too small to
Classify but was nothing to worry about. Part of no thinks that back then I gad melanoma and it had already spread. I'm not sure what the mole looked like then or if I had it since at that time I wasn't worried about moles. This is wrecking my life. I'm scared obsessive can't plan anything afraid to return to work. Can't concentrate on TV or books or my five lovely dogs and four cats and I'm making my husband nuts. I keep thinking I'll be dead In a year or enduring horrible treatments. I'm such a nervous weak person I know I couldn't handle treatment.

[Greenman50]

Hi

Google is bad ...don,t do it its always worse case :mad:

Have you had the moles checked at the DR,s ?

my wife is pale skinned and covered in moles , some changed and were raised and crusty on top and one was bleeding ....this BTW was over many years .

Every check up they were said to be fine and she still is , the last check was 5 years ago at least .

I,m no expert and a Docs check over is always best but it looked bad but all was fine .

Hope this helps and welcome to the forum :hugs:

[Weasley123]

Yes as I said in thread I went to derm twice about the bleeding mole. First time he said no worry it's just irritated. It bled again two weeks later I went back he said 99 percent it's nothing but he shave biopsies it. Whst scares me is thus is the first time I've been to the derm do he never saw the mole in question before I don't know if it's new or not my husband says no. I know this is nuts I truly appreciate the support

[Greenman50]

EDIT .....

Sorry speed read ..............you have seen a secialist so all good .

Sounds nothing to worry about at all given my wifes experience with moles .

Best wishes ....you will be fine :)

[Weasley123]

I just wish I could stop worrying. It's like my brain has no off switch. I'm very obsessive and tend to focus on one thing. What truly sucks about ha is someday something will be wrong with me or my husband and how wil I cope. I'm considering therapy but not 100 sure I'm very shy and embarAssed.

[Greenman50]

Yes as I said in thread I went to derm twice about the bleeding mole. First time he said no worry it's just irritated. It bled again two weeks later I went back he said 99 percent it's nothing but he shave biopsies it. Whst scares me is thus is the first time I've been to the derm do he never saw the mole in question before I don't know if it's new or not my husband says no. I know this is nuts I truly appreciate the support


Its not Nuts my friend , google sent me here in the first place and worrying over what might be .

Trust the Derm and your hubby , its just a routine biopsie .

They know what they are doing .

I know its easy for others to say "dont worry " and its hard not to but i,ve seen it 100,s of times on here regarding moles and everyone was ok .

I have my own worries that i focus on we are all the same :blush:

Try not to worry it will be ok

---------- Post added at 22:40 ---------- Previous post was at 22:33 ----------


I just wish I could stop worrying. It's like my brain has no off switch. I'm very obsessive and tend to focus on one thing. What truly sucks about ha is someday something will be wrong with me or my husband and how wil I cope. I'm considering therapy but not 100 sure I'm very shy and embarAssed.


Yep .....i focus on one thing its my tongue this time its on my mind 24 / 7 it sucks :mad:

When and if that day ever comes when something is wrong with you or your family you will cope .

Whats the worse is the FEAR of not knowing and being in limbo waiting .

That is what drives us mad , but i can assure you if the day ever comes and its not what we want to here we will cope ....we all do .

[Weasley123]

I agree about the wait. Several months ago my two oldest dogs passed from cancer. They were 14 and 12 I was weirdly calm considering prior hysterics. Of course now it's my own health that has me freaked. I think social isolation is a factor in my fear. My dad died four years ago. This year my favorite student a young man with Down syndrome I was very close too graduated and I'll never see him again. The few friends I have dint understand my fears. The only two discussed the mole with said oh get that checked it sounds scary which naturally made me feel worse. My husband is a total non worrier. He's very kind and supportive but can't grasp the worry. He lives day t day while I'm an obsessive planner. He will say to me why worry even if u r dying why wouldn't u Just enjoy the time left. Well that makes sense but boy is it hard

---------- Post added at 23:31 ---------- Previous post was at 22:10 ----------

So I was feeling better. Then I weighed myself a few lbs lighter despite having been eating a lot now scared again

[Sallyg]

Hello - I am sorry to read you are in such an anxious state, I can relate to lots of what you say. When we get so anxious and afraid our rational mind cannot work properly and desperate to make sense of our fears we seek answers, to make it make sense.

The facts are, you don't know if there is anything 'wrong' with this mole in terms of your biggest fear being cancer. You have been advised by a professional that 99% certainty that this is a benign mole that has been irritated. You need to manage waiting for the results.

The rest of your thinking isn't fact, you do not know that you are ill, or in danger of a serious, life threatening illness; but you feel like you are and that is very scary. Losing your father must have been hard and I too have lost my parents and each time, this is when the HA kicked off. I do think there is a connection.

I have had some CBT to help me address my thinking and behaviour around health issues and I do have counselling for the underlying emotions that fuel the HA.

I really do think that it sounds like your mole experience will end well and hope that the waiting isn't so bad. I spent last weekend getting very worked up about a mole which I have been advised is fine, so I can understand some of what you feel.

[Weasley123]

Thank u it really helps that others understand. This ha IS much worse then my other anxieties. My rational brain and fear brain at total odds. I took one Xanax as I have some that was prescribed a year ago during my last freak out and hadn't expired. I know the dr is the expert he is nearly 70 and As he said he has vast clinical experience he's a professor and dr so he seems very knowledgable. I just hate the wait. Plus dr Google and stories of bleeding moles

[Sallyg]

Stories of bleeding moles and Dr Google are not real TO YOU - easier said than done to ignore them, try a bit each day.

You are frightened and that's horrible, but as you say, your brain is fighting with itself. Sounds like you can really trust the dermatologist, try and focus on soothing your anxiety and letting events unfold, you have done everything you can to check your health.

Take care and don't be too hard on yourself :)