Weasley123
16-09-15, 22:50
I'm 37 married with pets. 5 dogs 4 cats. I'm a special Ed teacher a Star Trek fan and a vintage clothing fanatic. I have always been very very anxious. I remember being about 5 and waiting for my dad to come home and also having all kinds of rituals about it. My mom was very sick and we never got along but I was very close to my dad so my anxiety was focused on him. Fast forward. I'm married with pets and my anxiety is focused on hubby and pets. If my husband is 5 min late biking home I think he is dead. Then about 3 years ago a new monster health anxiety. My dad died of cancer and it was sudden and I feel a lot of guilt about how I was with him at the end. I was too distant. Four months after he died I find a lump in breast. I Tell my mom who gets hysterical. Meanwhile my aunt gas bc. Lump is benign. I'm fine for two year as far as health worries. Then last year I get stomach issues I become obsessed with cancer. I think I have ovarian pancreatic and colon cancer. I wind up getting a cat scan at hospital that shows nothing other then tiny nodule on liver too small to categorize but dr says don't worry. My symptoms go away as they were all in my mind but I'm wracked with guilt over the freak out. Now a year later I'm in the midst of Melanoma panicky over a bleeding mole. I'm very pale. Derm says its nothing but did a biopsy. I of course googled and an frantic. I even think the tiny liver nodule seen last year meh ve inductive if spread.